"Come on in, Ryouta." Papa Honda opened the front door with a tight smile. "Those are beautiful," he adds, looking at the bouquet of sunflowers and daffodils clutched in the blonde's arms.
Ryouta steps through the entryway into the Honda household, his body coiled with nerves. The sound of whispered chatter echoed from the living room, and the atmosphere of the house seemed subdued.
"How's Saburo?" Ryouta asked, as he kicked off his shoes and slid them against the wall where several other pairs were neatly placed.
Papa Honda's eyes light up at the question. "He's doing well. I don't know if anyone told you, but he woke up the other day."
Ryouta smiled hesitantly. "Etsuko mentioned it when we finally spoke," he replied.
The older man sagged with relief. "At least she's speaking again, when she first got home and closed herself in her room it took three days for Katsuki to get her to unlock the door."
"I'm glad she agreed to see me," The honesty made Ryouta's throat burn, it'd been two weeks since the arrest of Satomi and Momo. He lowers his voice before adding, "I've been really worried."
Etsuko hadn't answered any texts or calls. Not from him, and not from anyone else either. Katsuki was his main source of insight as to whether she was even alive. Ryouta could tell Katsu was taking things hard, yet he forced a positive outlook into every conversation they had.
Ryouta isn't embarrassed to divulge that he called multiple times a day for the last 13 days, and each time Etsuko didn't answer Katsuki was there to stop him from spiraling.
It made him feel selfish because if anyone had their world turned upside down it was Katsu and his family. However, here Ryouta was wondering if Etsuko not responding meant their relationship was over before it could really begin.
Was this karma for how he treated girls before he fell in love and became invested?
Maybe.
Maybe, he's meant to be a lovesick fool.
"We're glad she's agreed to see you too," Katsuki cut in, his hair was shorter from the last time they saw each other. He peeked around the corner leading into the living room, "She's been cooped up by herself for far too long."
There were dark circles marring his face, those icy blue Honda eyes looked dull and drained. Ryouta felt his breath seize in his chest.
"Want me to put those in a vase for you?" Katsuki asked, tilting his head to the side. Ryouta couldn't speak at first, so he cleared his throat and shook his head.
When he answered his voice was a bit shaky. "It's good to see you, how are you? And no... I'd like to give them to Etsuko myself if you don't mind."
The older sibling huffed a laugh through his nose. "I don't mind, and I'm feeling much better now that 'Buro is awake."
Ryouta looks down in guilt.
Out of nowhere, Papa Honda claps the back of his left shoulder startling him from his brooding fest.
He couldn't help it. Even though he rationally knew that there was not much that could have gone differently, in fact, it could have gone worse. It doesn't stop Ryouta from feeling responsible in some way.
We should have all left and called the police.
I should have stayed behind instead of Saburo.
I should have stopped Etsuko from going in general.
It was an endless loop of 'could've, would've, should've' playing inside his brain. Ryouta thought he was masking well enough, but seeing the family he's grown so fond of hurting, it tossed him off balance all over again.
"Before you go up to see her, step into the family room with us. Etsuko and Katsuki's father flew in from America, he's been wanting to meet you."
Anxiety latched onto his windpipe. When they were first getting to know each other, Etsuko informed Ryouta about her strained relationship with her parents. She was closer to her father if you can even categorize it that way, while her mother was 'difficult' to get along with.
At least that's what he was told.
Ryouta also knew that this would be Katsuki's first time speaking let alone seeing their father in the past 10 years.
Judging by Katsuki's body language he wasn't uncomfortable, but he didn't seem as open as usual. That could be for completely different circumstances though. The blank expression the older boy wore reminded Ryouta so much of Etsuko it physically stung.
The guilt festering in his belly re-joined the anxiety in his throat, and together it began to squeeze.
His hesitation must have been palpable because Papa Honda had yet to remove his warm hand from Ryouta's shoulder.
"Breath Ryouta, you don't have to if you're not up for it. Etsuko hasn't come down to say hello to Keoni either. I don't blame her." The elder Honda said as he rubbed firm circles into Ryouta's back, "I figured introducing you to him would stop his prying, and get everyone's mind off of the fact that Kohaku didn't come along."
Honda-Meilani Kohaku.
Ryouta had never met her, who knows if he ever will. He felt anger burning past his guilt, he bit his bottom lip to keep from making himself a fool.
Papa Honda was visibly upset himself, but despite that Kohaku is his daughter and the mother of Etsuko, Ryouta had no right to comment.
However, it brought solace that he wasn't alone in his outrage. He watched the corner of Katsuki's mouth twitch in disdain. It was brief and Ryouta almost missed it, drowning his negativity, he shook his head again forcing on the model charm.
"I don't mind meeting Meilani-san at all! I was just caught off guard." Ryouta hoped to high heaven that no one called him out on his sugar-coated persona. It felt rusty slipping back into a habit he hadn't been able to get quite right since his attack.
This time felt different, it felt natural. At least he was aiming for it to be.
Katsuki's indifferent mask slipped once more, surprise flashing across his exhausted face. He wasn't as good at faking as Etsuko is ( Katsu is out-of-practice if you will), having lost the need for hiding himself once he became distanced from his parents.
"Alright then," Papa Honda seemed pleased, "Come this way Ryouta."
Katsuki moved over a smidge before following behind both the elder Honda and Ryouta as they entered the family room.
The blond knew the Honda residence must have been a bit packed judging by the number of shoes placed in the entryway. He faked pleasant surprise nonetheless as he greeted those around him.
Mama Honda stood from her seat on the couch to give him a warm motherly hug, she gushed over the bouquet in his arms before sitting back down beside her husband.
Ken greeted him next, his hair was messy and his eyes bloodshot, a wobbly smile appeared on his face as he gave Ryouta a long hug.
'Buro's father nodded his head, standing briefly to squeeze Ryouta's elbow in support before allowing Chihiro's mother to pull him into her embrace.
"How is Makoto-san? I haven't had a chance to check in this week?" Ryouta said, keeping a strong hand on the woman's shoulder when she pulled away. Every time he called to speak with the younger Chihiro, her mother would answer and give him an apology.
She didn't need to, Ryouta knew how beneficial sleep was to recovery.
Her mother lit up, a single tear Ryouta could see she was trying desperately to hold back slid down her cheek, she hastily wiped it away, "Such a charmer. She's doing wonderfully, thank you for asking."
In his peripheral vision, he could see a tall broad man staring him down. Ryouta felt his stomach roll, and all his emotions simmered. He shoved them down, before turning.
Meilani Keoni stood from his place at the kotatsu at the center of the room. He waited for those who had stood before him to settle back into their spaces, then he moved forward.
Just from one glance, it was clear that all the genetic makeup Etsuko and Katsuki had, definitely fallen onto the Honda family's shoulders.
Keoni, in Ryouta's opinion, was the definition of 'tall, dark and handsome'.
The man was rugged with dark curly hair, tan skin, and warm brown eyes. Ryouta almost didn't believe this could be Etsuko's father.
Then Keoni smiled, and in the curve of his mouth, Ryouta could see that both Etsuko as well as her brother shared it. It was bright, consuming in a way you wouldn't dare think this man could be so reserved or distant as Etsuko labeled him to be.
"I've heard so much about you Kise-san, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." Keoni's schmooze was so authentic and familiar that for a second Ryouta could have sworn Akashi was standing before him.
A scoff from his right broke his surprise. Katsuki was oddly enough looking away from them. Keoni seemed to deflate, a hurt and guilty look flashing in his expression.
Ryouta's emotions simmered, he pushed them down again.
"Likewise, your flight must have been exhausting. How are you settling in?"
"Jet Lag is finally catching up to me," Keoni said as he rubbed a hand across his neck. "Aside from that, and aside from my family's circumstances I'm alright."
He points to the flowers in Ryouta's grasp, "Are those for Etsuko? They're lovely. As far as I can remember, sunflowers have always been her favorite."
Katsuki scoffed again, and Papa Honda cleared his throat shooting his grandson a glare as a reprimand.
The room filled with awkward tension, but Ryouta pushed past the unease. The quicker this meet-and-greet is over, the quicker he can go up to Etsuko's room.
"I'm hoping it'll cheer her up," Ryouta said, sincerity coating his tone. "She deserves to be happy."
The passive-aggressive remark sailed over Keoni's head, but Ryouta saw the way Katsuki smirked in approval. "I'm glad she has someone who cares for her."
Ryouta felt his mask turn sharp at the corners, he hasn't been this mean in a while. It satisfied the vindictive itch tickling at the back of his brain, "Well, I'm glad to care for her. As is everyone blessed with the opportunity, I'm sure."
Ryouta could see Katsuki attempting to hide a full-on smile, and even though Papa Honda seemed a bit exasperated, amusement shone in his gaze.
Keoni to his credit didn't falter or look offended, just guilty yet again. And Ryouta knew it was ugly of him to feel joy at the older man's expense, but he couldn't bring himself to care.
"Wise young man," the older Meilani said, a melancholy smile tugging softly at his mouth, "Well don't let me keep you back Kise-san, I'm sure Etsuko is waiting."
Ryouta bowed, before giving everyone one last smile and leaving the room. As he turned he caught Katsuki's glance and they shared a grin. He felt good as he climbed the two flights of stairs toward Etsuko's room.
The door to the attic where Etsuko resided was left ajar, the soft glow of fairy lights emanating from behind the crack. It was quiet.
The blond inhaled deeply and knocked on her door. "Come in," a barely audible voice says. As he opened the door wider to pass through, Ryouta felt his heart soar and clench at the same time.
There Etsuko sat in her bed, propped up with all her colorful pillows, wearing that yellow sweater Ryouta gifted her over the holidays. Long blond hair is hanging loose and lifelessly around her shoulders, and her face is expressionless.
Her mask has always been so good. So well put together.
Ryouta remembers a time when her blank icy gaze struck nervousness into him, he hadn't felt that in months. At least not until now.
"These are for you," he whispered softly as if he was worried they were being spied on.
She melted at the sound of his voice and moved to stand in front of him, her eyes trailing over his face down to the bouquet.
"Sunflowers," Etsuko huffed, she accepted them as Ryouta passed them over. "And yellow daisies. My favorite."
He felt his face flush, a pleasant warmth rushing down his spine. "I'd never forget."
"I know," she reassured without looking up at him. "Take a seat. I'll be right back." Etsuko gestured to her bed.
Ryouta nodded. She obviously wasn't okay, but her eyes were less glazed over than they had been the night he last saw her at the hospital.
God.
Who would have guessed things could change so quickly in such a short amount of time? Ryouta doesn't know all the details, but from what he was told. He still couldn't wrap his head around it all.
After placing the flowers down neatly in an empty vase on her desk, Etsuko took a seat near Ryouta on her bed.
"How are you?" he asked and immediately regretted it when he saw the way her brow wrinkled in displeasure. Etsuko shrugs her shoulders and picks at the comforter under her thighs.
For a few agonizing seconds, no one speaks and Ryouta feels himself begin to panic.
Etsuko looks up at him, her gaze hasn't been so empty in so long, and it made all his guilt and anxieties well up within his throat, "I heard what you said to my father."
Stunned Ryouta doesn't respond immediately. Her unyielding eye contact coaxed him to stutter over his words.
"U-uh, oh. Okay?"
Ryouta wanted to punch himself, but in all honesty, what was he supposed to say? Out of all the conversation starters they could have, leave it to Etsuko to stump him entirely. Even if he'd spent hours upon hours these last two weeks imagining different scenarios and outcomes.
Her eyes fill, but the tears don't spill over. Her bottom lip quivers and instinctively Ryouta grabs Etsuko's shoulders and hauls her into his embrace.
"Did you m-mean it?" she hiccups into his exposed neck. Her breath was hot and her tears wet his skin.
"Of course I do," Ryouta soothes. "You're special to me."
And I love you. It tingles on the tip of his tongue.
He swallows it down and holds Etsuko as she sobs.
They stay that way until she falls asleep.
Kise Ryouta rationally knew that he wouldn't be able to fully shield her from getting hurt again, and he knew that everyone involved, including himself, had plenty of things to continuously work through.
However, he made a vow to himself that he'd do his best to always help Etsuko, and protect her to the extent of his abilities.
And he trusted she'd do the same for him.