BPOV
"I was drunk... I didn't realize what I was doing... I'm really, really sorry!" He said.
Didn't I expect this?
Then why was it killing me?
Of course, he was going to regret this. He had no reason not to.
I should have stopped him last night.
But I couldn't.
I wanted him, not sure why.
And for some reason he made me feel like he wanted me to.
But as he said, he was drunk and didn't know what he was doing.
Did I have any other option but to accept that he was never going to actually want me?
He was so out of league, much more out of league than Emmett was.
Edward was older, smarter, rich, and... perfect.
He could get anyone he wanted.
He had no reason to fall for someone like me.
And he was Emmett's brother, but I didn't seem to care about that fact anymore!
I could think of everything else later. He seemed like he was killing himself with regrets right now.
"That's okay," I said.
He looked at me as if he was trying to figure out whether to believe me or not.
"I don't know..." he said, "I should have known better."
"Edward, shit happens." I said.
Again, he didn't say anything for some time.
"Yeah... Shit happens." he said, "And I'm really sorry for that."
Again, there was an awkward silence.
"I'll be in my room," he said.
"Okay," I said.
I wished it wasn't Saturday today. I'd have preferred to sulk alone.
I was back with my thoughts once he left.
How could I fall for him?
He was Emmett's brother.
But as I told myself earlier, I didn't care about that anymore for some reason.
The new question was, how could I not fall for him?
He was there for me when I was probably at my lowest.
And he was so caring, so gentle, so... perfect.
I had no fucking business falling for him.
He was way, way out of my league!
I kept replaying every single moment from last night.
It was... perfect.
And it was something I was never going to feel again.
I took a shower after sometime and cried as much as I could.
I was tired.
I didn't understand my feelings anymore.
What exactly did I want?
Did I want him?
But that's never going to happen, and that made me cry harder.
I felt hopeless.
I couldn't see any positivity in my life.
I heard a knock on my door after some time.
"I'm going to the hospital. Dad had a stroke." He said in a hurry.
What?
How?
Why?
"What?" I could say.
"Sorry, I need to rush. I can discuss the details later," he said.
"I can come with you," I said.
Not sure if it was right for me to join him, but I was fond of Carlisle, and I was his daughter-in-law, I wanted to go.
He looked at me for a moment, before he said, "Okay. I'm getting the car out of the garage."
"Okay," I said.
I quickly grabbed my handbag and changed my clothes and rushed out of the room.
What was happening with us?
When would these problems end?
I really, really hoped nothing happened to Carlisle. He was one of the nicest people I had ever met in my life.
"Thanks, Marcus. It's going to take me fifty minutes. I'm starting now," he was talking to Marcus on call when I sat in the car.
He remained on the different calls for the next fifteen minutes.
I figured out that Carlisle was out on a morning run when this happened. Esme was with him right now. And his business partner Marcus and his wife were about to reach the hospital to be with Esme.
I had never seen him so vulnerable like he was at the moment.
It's like he was trying to be in control, but he looked scared for the first time. Or maybe I saw him so scared for the first time.
I had seen Esme and Carlisle losing their composure after Emmett's death, but him, never. He was the rock this family and I needed.
But at this moment, it seemed like he needed a rock to lean on.
"It will be fine, Edward," I said once he had a break in between the calls.
"I don't know..." He said, "If anything happens to Dad... I don't know what I'm going to do..."
"Nothing will happen to him," I said.
"I don't know..." He said, "I feel like I haven't been paying attention to him. I was focused on Mom's health earlier, but I never asked him even once how he was doing. I should have done that... I'm just a useless son."
"Edward..." I said, "You should not blame yourself. You're a very, very good son."
"I don't know..." He said, "I really have no idea what I'm going to do if anything happens to him. He's my mentor. Everything I know in my life... It's because of him. He 's the only stable person I've got in my life. I don't know what I'm going to do without him."
"Nothing will happen to him," I said, "You're one of the strongest people I've met in my life, and you're capable of handling anything... And nothing is going to happen to him. Please don't overthink and try to kill yourself."
"I'm just scared," he said.
"It's okay to be scared sometimes. But you've got this. Please have faith in yourself." I said, "I do."
He looked at me before moving his eyes back to the road again.
And to my surprise, he took my right hand in his left.
It's like he wanted to hold on to something.
I looked at our intertwined hands, and looked at him.
He didn't say anything, so didn't I.
We both kept our eyes on the road ahead, but I doubted if either of us really knew what lay ahead of us.