It didn't take me long before the schedule Tami gave to me became routine. Before I hated having my life mapped out, but the schedule provided me with safety and stability. Two things I've never really had in my life. The conversations with Dr, Gearing were regular and always left me vulnerable but hopeful.

Meals were the hardest. I continued eating with Samantha and Angela. My disgust for Samantha depleted completely and turned into respect. Her stepfather told Samantha that she would be beautiful if she were skinny. Samantha started restricting her eating and exercising more. He had begun giving her presents and money as she began to lose weight. She realized by not eating her life was better, she was able to have whatever she wanted and she looked good! But her stepfather had a reason for making her turn skinny. One night when Samantha's mom was at her friends wedding, Samantha came home drunk. Her stepdad took hold of her and raped her. After the rape Samantha gave up on eating. She wouldn't touch a single bite, and wouldn't even leave her room. I felt bad for judging her. She was now doing EVERYTHING in her power to get better for her baby.

Still it was hard. I went from throwing up 2-5 times-a-day on one meal, to having 3 meals a-day with no way of getting rid of it. I would fight Tami on a regular basis. Telling her that it was wrong to make someone eat when they weren't hungry. I honestly forgot what it was like to be full and stay full. Feeling food stay in my stomach depressed me. I would go insane. I would try to sleep extra hours because you lose weight in your sleep. I would try to hide the food I didn't eat, but I underestimated the TC. They obviously knew what I was doing, and I would have to write extra diaries or go to more mandatory meetings when I gave up on myself and tired to return back to my harmful past.

Tami was always by my side. She was there for me through it all. I loved her the most, but then again I hated her the most. I was having a really hard day. I tried throwing up my breakfast, and refused to eat lunch. At dinner I finally succumbed to their orders and ate normally. During our reflection time I went out to the courtyard and listened to "Strong Enough". Tami came by me with two sets of needles and two balls of yarn.

"I'm going to teach you how to knit." Tami was odd. She was reserved and seemed to just be a shadow most of the time, but now I KNEW she was mental.

"To what?" I said holding back laughter.

"Once you knit you never quit!" After this I DIED laughing, I decided to give Tami and her knitting a chance and ending up loving it.

A few days pass

After dinner, I was in the courtyard knitting a hat for myself when I heard screaming. There were high-pitched squealing coming from the main entrance. I could make out at small brunette girl in the main entrance. I wondered if I looked that ridiculous coming in. Also remembering the snickering girls, I decided to stay put. The girl obviously didn't need anything else to piss her off.

The next day

I went to breakfast the next day when I saw the tiny brunette at a lunch table alone. She had her own 'shadow' (I called Tami a shadow, I never really learned what her official title was) that was sitting next to her at the table. I walked over to the table and asked

"Do you mind if I sit here?" She small girl looked up at me, with a strange shocked look on her face. Oh shit! I almost forgot, I'm Demi Lovato. Her shocked expression quickly turned into a look of disgust.

"I actually do mind. Please don't sit here." I was so shocked by her response that I stood still in front of her table for a good minute until I got up the courage to walk away. I felt her eyes on me as I walked on.

"I sure to hell hope they don't make me fat like you, man you have gained weight." My heart dropped. Fat. I haven't been called fat to my face since…

FLASHBACK

The day went on horribly. I got evil looks all day long, and the worst part was when I would walk into a class everyone would get quiet. They were talking about me. I swore that every paper my classmates had was another "We Hate Demi Lovato" petition. Days went on like this. I thought it would have gotten better by the next day, but it only got worse. My house was egged. I was getting hate phone calls all through the night. My myspace was flagged with millions of hate comments. Every day I would have at least one kid tell me they hated me. I started spending most of my days in the bathroom, until I noticed I wasn't even safe there. The girls started a "We Hate Demi" collage on one of the bathroom stalls. Each day someone added to it. I noticed Britney had written the initial response. Why did she hate me? We did EVERYTHING together we were best friends, or so I thought. I decided I was going to confront Britney, in front of EVERYONE.

It was lunchtime again. The time I dreaded the most. I walked into our middle school cafeteria, over to the table where I had spent so many lunches.

"Britney, we used to be friends can you just please tell me what I did?" She sat there for a moment and seemed to ponder, as if she didn't even know. Then she blatantly said

"Because you are fat Demi, and you cannot be a singer, or whatever the hell you think you're going to be if you are FAT."

I dropped my tray. There it was again. The word that started it all. It took one word to completely wreck EVERYTHING and ALL the progress I had made.