Thanksgiving
I heard some quick paced footsteps coming toward my room when someone squeaked
"DEMI!" It was my baby sister! I opened my arms and she ran into them. I leaned down over her using every muscle in my body to squeeze her just to make sure she was real. She got so TALL! Seeing her cherry little face helped me to forget it all. I was no longer in treatment. I was back home in Texas making Maddie make herself sneeze while giggling myself to pieces. After Maddie walked in Dallas, my step dad and my mom. At that moment tearing starting streaming down my face as my mom starting walking towards me. We had been through so much! She raised Dallas and I by herself since birth. Even when my birth father and her were married, he wasn't around. Patrick Lovato was the first and certainly not the last man that let me down.
After our tear fest Tami came in to lead us to the dinner hall. I was reminded that I didn't want Maddie there. I protectively held her by my side. A treatment center was no place for an eight year old. Tami showed us our seats. Maddie sat at my right and Dallas at my left. My mom and dad sat across from us. I hadn't felt so at home in a long time, a very long time. My parents noticed the tension so they started talking about everyday life,
"Your mom and I have been playing basketball almost everyday, out in the courts. She has gotten really good!" My dad said.
"Yeah, mom scored like 6 touchdowns in a second," my highly intelligent sister, Dallas, added. At that moment when we all bursted out into laughter. My dad started wheezing he was laughing so hard. You could count on Dallas to make herself look a fool! She had dyed her hair blonde again… lets just say it suited her well.
My family was continuing to tease Dallas when I looked over at the other families. Parents tried so hard to be strong for their children, but they were breaking. I couldn't imagine how hard it must be for them, knowing that there was nothing they could do. As I was gazing at the other families, I noticed the small brunette and her family. She was with her mom. Her mom was a petite beautiful woman. She aged well. I was able to get a better look at the small brunette. She had tan skin (she most likely faked baked), a small chin, along with a small mouth. Her nose defined her face as it contoured down her face, and she had big green olive-shaped eyes. How could someone so beautiful hate herself enough to starve herself? I wasn't sure what her exact diagnosis was, but with her noticing my weight, I was sure she had some kind of eating disorder.
Thanksgiving was anyone with an eating disorder's nightmare. I would have done anything to rid of this dinner. It was so full in my tummy. I knew that if I allowed my body to digest it all, it would immediately turn to fat. I felt uneasy the rest of the night. My parents noticed my poor attitude and decided to call it a night. Again I was relieved but didn't want them to leave. My plan was to take my mom aside and manipulating her into taking me home. My dad probably saw this coming, so he stayed with her at all times.
We walked from the dining room back to my room. We said our goodbyes and Maddie took out a photo of her and placed it on my bulletin board. Little did she know, that picture would keep me strong throughout all of treatment.
After my family left, I still had about an hour before bedtime. I decided I would spend my time out in the courtyard. I would always bring something to do while I was outside, like a book, yarn, or a pencil and paper. But I rarely did anything. I loved being outside to reflect and there was just something about the courtyard that calmed me. Also no one else enjoyed being outdoors due to the fact that it was winter. But my body was so numb. It honestly didn't bother me.
Camp Rock 2 Tour
I woke up at noon. I was no longer keeping track of time or day or even the city we were in. I got up and noticed Claire, Shorty and Dani were passed out on my hotel floor. What did we do last night? I was in a fitted black corset with black pants. Claire, Shorty and Dani were also in lingerie-like clothing. Claire brought some yummy goodies last night from Cali and we blazed. Dani got an older crewmember to purchase us some jack and vodka. My head was banging, this was the worst hangover I had ever had. I went into the bathroom, splashed some water on my face and caught an image of myself. I looked like a dirty prostitute in the outfit. I hated myself when I drank. I became a completely different person, but I could purge more on alcohol. It messed with my stomach so much I barfed everytime that I drink. On the bathroom counter was a sony camera. I turned it on and looked through the pictures. What was I doing? I looked ridiculous pulling at my clothes like that. I made a note to delete them off the camera, until I looked closer. My stomach. I looked like a whale! I wasn't eating for weeks and I needed to up my purging and lessen my binging.
I heard footsteps come from behind me in the snow. I turned around and there was the small brunette. My heart dropped. I was so nervous. Did she come to tell me off? Now was definitely not the time.
"Hey, I'm Lauren. I think we've met, but I didn't introduce myself." I'm pretty sure you introduced yourself as the big bitch you are. Okay, pull it together Demi.
"Hi, I'm Demi"
"I know. I watched you on Camp Rock. It was a cool movie." I was 15 when I filmed Camp Rock. It didn't even seem like me. I continued staring at her. What did this bitch want?
"Its so cold! Why are you out here?" Ummm… Maybe because I WANT to be out here? The question is why the hell are you out here?
"I like it out here," I said with a smile.
"Makes since." Then from her mouth protruded something I guess you would call a laugh. It sounded like a bunny in labor. And I thought I had a weird laugh. At this point I couldn't help myself. I laughed in her face. I mean really? Who had a laugh like that.
She started laughing too. We were both laughing so hard that it looked like we smoked up a whole case of weed because of our breaths in the cold air. As soon as we pulled ourselves together Lauren joined me on the bench I was sitting on and said
"Demi, I am so sorry for what I said to you the other day. I was… I wasn't in the best place."
"None of us are."
"True. Which is why I shouldn't have said that. You are beautiful Demi. You aren't even a hair overweight. I think that our minds just distort bodies." Heck, I couldn't agree more. The thickest people were so much thinner than me. I would always pick out the heaviest and skinniest people in the room, and most of the time I labeled myself as the heaviest. Though most of the time it wasn't the case. Lauren noticed me drifting off and said
"Come on, you look like an icicle out here! Lets go inside."