Camp Rock 2 Tour
I walked back into the room where my friends were passed out on the floor. My head was pulsing violently. I was piecing together the events from last night. I gave up. I honestly didn't want to know what happened. Everything ached, but I knew that I needed to exercise. I promised myself the night before that I would, and I didn't need another reason to hate myself. I changed and went out on a jog.
What city was I in? I couldn't even remember. It looked familiar, but then yet again all American cities had a similar quality to them. On my jog, I passed a sign that said Cincinnati, OH. I might have been here before… I really couldn't remember. I began wheezing from my run. I was so weak. I HATED my body. It couldn't power through. I needed this weight gone, but no. My body just doesn't listen. I got so tired and fatigued that I had to stop. I put my head between my legs in fetal position. I was glad no one was around to see me like this. When I got back to my room Shorty was awake.
"Hey girl! Did you just go on a jog?"
"Yeah. I think I'm gonna take a shower now. See you tonight." As I took off my clothes, I noticed cuts on my thighs. Did I do that last night? Did anyone see me? My heart sank into my chest until I remembered that I came into the bathroom in the middle of the night while everyone was sleeping. I was so dizzy that I fell in the shower. Barely being able to pick myself back up, I decided that I wouldn't condition my hair today.
After my shower I went backstage to chill with the dancers before soundcheck. I leaned against a wall because I couldn't even hold myself up. I tried to drink a thick load of water, so that I wouldn't fall again. The dancers and crew have started talking about my mess-ups. I think they could tell something was up, but I would constantly crack jokes about how clumsy I was.
Joe and Nick walked in about to go out for soundcheck. Nick walked over and talked to me. I loved him like a brother. Through everything he was always there for me, when I wasn't even there for myself. I hugged him a little tighter than I should have and when he let go there was a massive amount of concern on his face. Kevin senior called Nick to get on stage and I wished him luck. We didn't always speak, but we honestly didn't need to. We always knew what was going on with each other. I shot Joe a quick wave. Pretending like nothing ever happened between us was the easiest way of dealing with it. I just missed his friendship. He was my best friend. But it was just something else I messed up in my life, and he seemed quite happy with Ashley. I knew she wouldn't last long though. She was too high maintenance for him, he would tire of her almost as quickly as he tired of me.
As the night went on I became wearier and wearier. The intense dancing and belting was hard on my body. But I needed the work out. I needed this weight gone. It was what was holding me back from EVERYTHING. From love, from happiness, from life.
After my set I gave nick our famous elbow-five then went backstage for wardrobe change and reapplication of makeup!
I was sooooooooo tiiiiiiiiiired and dizzy. I couldn't even remember what I just preformed five seconds ago. Nothing seemed real these days. As I got up to join Joe in our amazingly awkward love duets, I passed out.
"Demi! Demi! Demi!"
"Hey Demi, are you okay." It was Lauren. I guess I had zoned out.
"Hey what's up?" I replied.
"I was just wondering if you still wanted to go to art class today with ME?" She pressed her hand out and made a pouty face. This girl was too much.
"Alright, alright I'm coming if you promise to never look at me like that ever again," I said with a smirk. She gave me a Boy Scout salute, and I giggled at her cuteness. Lauren and I had become inseparable. We never talked about problems. We just enjoyed each other's company.
We made our way down to the art studio and Lauren was complaining about not being able to be on facebook.
"Do you know how looooooong it is gonna take me to catch up on allll of my school's drama?" I shook my head.
"FOR-EEEEEVER!" I have her a look of utter pain, pretending to feel so sorry for her.
In class Lauren would only draw flowers. The teacher asked her to paint a scene from her life and she drew flowers. This girl had me face-palming and shaking my head like a grandmother at her grandchildren, but I loved her. She was a very good escape. Tami came in the class and pulled me. She told me someone had been waiting to speak to me.
"Hello," I said.
"Hey Demi!" It was Selena. I started looking forward to her calls. She reminded me of good times, times where I had mutual love and friendship.
"How have you been? Is the album doing well?"
"I'm doing well and it's doing well! How are you?" I hated hearing that concern in her voice. I didn't want her to hurt like I was. It wasn't fair for her.
"I'm doing better, Sel'" that was about as far as we got to talking about my treatment. I didn't want to worry her with what was going on with me and she didn't want to hound me. I hated how our friendship ended. We were always good friends, but we weren't the best friends that everyone expected us to be. We had other friends. But the press would act like we broke every time we ever chilled with someone else. It was hard to be there for each other when there was so much pressure. We were just children with the pressure to be life long sisters. It was just too much. But I was glad she was talking to me now. It would take us both a good enough time to heal, but you had to start somewhere.