Alright, so I have this question…Do any of you ever…like, wonder if Masashi Kishimoto reads fan fiction? Like…seriously. I wonder if he like…comes on this website…and reads what people write about Naruto or whatever …I wonder if he has favorite pairings too….Well, probably not since there's no pairings in the show…yet. Heh…right? I haven't been caught up lately…But like, seriously…think about it…
Masashi Kishimoto…if you're reading this right now…
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HI!
Disclaimer: I own nothing mentioned in this fic, nor will I ever. The people in this fic don't belong to me…NOTHING! I OWN NOTHING!
Yay, Gaara's turn! Wonder if he'll talk. Hmmmmmm…
Oh, and by the way, Random Narutard….I expect that waffle… XD
-x-x-x-
Previously….
Kurenai leaned over and pulled Asuma into a hug.
"Awwww."
So damn freaking adorable.
"I love you, too, Asuma." Kurenai whispered.
"Good. Because I wasn't going to take no as an answer."
Well, isn't that just so fucking sweet?
They pulled away, and Asuma snatched the bottle.
"MY TURN IS OVER! YAY!"
YAY is right!
"Shut up. Anyway, so it's my turn to spin! And I think, for fun, it'll be another Double Dare…Bwhaha."
Asuma spun the bottle…
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
…Stop.
It landed on…Gaara.
…
…
…
Everyone froze. They all stared at the bottle…and looked over to see who it landed on.
Gaara glared down at the bottle, then looked up. Everyone flinched and avoided eye contact.
Asuma scratched the back of his head. "Heh…uh, can I…can I spin again…?" he asked.
"No…that goes against the rules." Temari said, eyeing her brother. Gaara…didn't…really do…anything.
He just sat there…
Like…he always does.
Not…saying a thing.
Just glaring…
Like always…
GAARA DOESN'T DO CRAP!
Geez…
"Are you sure…because we could pretend-"
"You know the author won't allow it." Temari interrupted him. Asuma rubbed his temples and sighed.
"But…what…how…what do I dare him to do with out…you know…" Asuma said.
Gaara glared…even more…at Asuma. Asuma let out a pathetic and awkward laugh.
"I'll kill you." Gaara mumbled.
OH MY GOD HE SPEAKS!
"You too." Gaara growled.
…Heh…heh…heeeeehhhh….you can't kill me.
"Yes."
No.
"Yes."
Noooo.
"Yes."
SAY IT AGAIN! I dare you…
"…Yes."
THAT'S IT! ! ! ! !
GO LIGHTNING POWER!
Naruto was then struck with lightning. "Ahhhh!"
Oops…I missed.
"Naruto!" Sakura exclaimed, pulling Naruto…who was now burnt to a crisp.
"Sakura…I…I…I see…the l-light…" Naruto reached up and cupped Sakuras cheek. Everyone gathered around the two, and watched.
"S-S-Sa-Sakura…if…if I…don't make I-it…" Naruto coughed. "…I want y-you to know…I…love y-you…more than ra-ramen…"
"Oh, Naruto…" Sakura's vision blurred with tears as she grabbed and squeezed Naruto's hand.
"S-Sakura….te-tell the Author….to go…to Hell…"
That's not very nice.
Naruto's eyes began to close slowly. Sakura gasped. "No, Naruto! Wake up! Don't die!"
It was too late…
Naruto died that day…
Cause of death…
Struck by lightning…
"Okay, are we REALLY doing this?" a voice said from behind them.
Everyone looked back and saw the Author…and he had someone with him.
It was a girl with long, black hair, and brown eyes. She was very short…and for some reason…she was wearing a…Gaara…t-shirt.
…They have Gaara T-shirts?
…I never knew that….
Everyone blinked, and question marks appeared above their heads.
"Why are you here…and who the hell is she?" Shikamaru asked.
"Well…I'm here because it's Gaara's turn…I don't support character death unless necessary-""Then why'd you kill Naruto! ? ! ?" Sakura screamed.
"AND NEJI! ? ! ?" Tenten exclaimed, as well.
The Author's brow twitched in annoyance. "Alright, first of all, Neji is not 'Dead'…I was just kidding. God, Tenten…what would Neji say?"
Tenten shrugged. "It doesn't matter what he says. He's never away anymore…"
"Well," the Author sighed, " we now know who wears the pants for sure."
"Damn straight." Tenten agreed.
"Yeah…as for Naruto. He's not dead. He's just…there. I missed with the lightning, because it was suppose to hit Gaara…but then the fan girl stopped me."
"Fangirl?" they all asked.
The Author pointed at the girl with him. "This is Hana. She was our 300th reviewer…and she's…a Gaara…fangirl…yeah." The Author said flatly.
Everyone turned and looked at the girl. She waved at them…but then her eyes landed on Gaara…
Gaara glared at her…but then she let out a…squeal?
Really?
Alright…
"GAAAAARA!" she screamed…and ran towards Neji…oh wait, no Gaara. Sorry.
GLOMP
Yes…Hana just glomped Gaara. All the fangirls out there…maybe next time.
"What the hell! ? ! ?" Gaara said, trying to push the girl off of him. "Why isn't the sand-"
"Oh yeah, so you don't kill anyone…I took away your sand. Safety precautions." the Author shrugged.
Suddenly, Lee burst in…oh wait, Naruto doesn't have a house anymore…Lee appeared out of no where.
Tenten grabbed ahold of Neji and pulled him closer.
"Lee? How'd you escape that dragon?" Tenten asked through grinded teeth.
Lee burst out laughing. "It's a long story…"
"Don't tell it." Tenten growled.
Le scratched the back of his head. "Tenten…I know we have our differences…but I have a confession to make…I…I'm not in love with Neji."
Le GASP!
Tenten blinked, confused. "Are you lying? Because if your lying I'm gonna shove a kunai right up your-"
"TENTEN!" The Author exclaimed.
Tenten rolled her eyes. "You get the point." she mumbled.
Lee nodded. "I'm not lying…but, while that dragon was trying to eat me…I realized…my heart belongs to another…" he said.
Le GASP once again…
"And who would that be?" Tenten asked…not at all curious.
Lee smiled, and turned around…but then gasped.
"WHAT THE HELL! ? WHO IS THIS STRANGE GIRL GLOMPING MY GAARA! ?" Lee growled and turned red with emotion.
"You're…in love with…Gaara?" Temari asked. "First…I lost you to NEJI…now I'm loosing you to GAARA! WHAT THE HELL!"
Hana glared at Lee. "You had your chance."
Lee then began to cry.
Gai came up from behind Lee, and began to choke him. "LEE! You are forgetting the most important thing about love!"
"Ahd agh wha gah would that ag be?" Lee asked between gasps.
"YOU HAD TO CONFESS BEFORE THE FANGIRL GLOMPS! BECAUSE WHEN THE GIRL GLOMPS…it's all over."
"Really?"
"No."
"Oh."
Naruto was…'dead', Sakura was crying about 'dead' Naruto, Kakashi was reading fan fiction, Kiba was asleep, Hinata was asleep as well, Shino was picking bugs out of his…hair?, Kurenai was staring at Shino with disgust, Shikamaru was upset about Ino's hair, Ino was happy about her hair, Choji was crying about his chips, Asuma decided to quit smoking, Neji was still unconscious, Tenten was in shock about Lee, Lee was trying to pull Hana off Gaara, Gai was trying to stop Lee from pulling Hana off Gaara, Temari was trying to pull Gaara away from Lee, as was Kankuro, and Gaara…Gaara was in Hell.
"I'm in Hell." Gaara said.
"Exactly." the Author said. He snapped his fingers, and everyone flew back…like, literally.
"Owwww." everyone whined.
"Great, don't mind me. Can we continue the story…fans are getting pissed. Gaara's first dare please. Oh, and Asuma?" The Author pulled Asuma up off the ground and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"All the fans love Gaara…as you can see…and they are all counting on these dares…so if you screw up…they'll kill you. And I be able to stop them. No pressure!"
Asuma sweat dropped.
The Author chuckled. "I'll be in the emo corner writing." and with that, the Author went to the Emo corner…and began to write…duh.
Asuma scratched the back of his head.
"Will you get off me?" Gaara snapped at Hana. Hana smiled at him.
"Nope! I'm here until your chapter is done! Ohhh, you're so CUTE! With your red hair, and no eye brows, and your tattoo! Ohhh adorable!" she replied.
"I'm going to kill you." Gaara said, referring to the Author.
"You do that!" the Author replied from the Emo corner.
Gaara turned and glared at Asuma, who flinched back in reply.
"Tell me what to do. Let's get this over with. So then this…fangirl…will leave. Hurry."
Asuma began to twitch. Great…I have to reviewers and Gaara after me for these dares! What the hell am I going to do! ? What's something good I could do for Gaara? Ugh… Asuma thought. He didn't know what to do…after all…the fans were putting their faith into him to give Gaara a great, funny, awesome dare…
…
But…Asuma had nothing.
Kankuro then tapped on Asuma's shoulder. "Hey, I have some ideas." he whispered.
Asuma raised a brow. "You wanna help me…embarrass your murderous…brother?"
Kankuro's eyes got watery, and whispered, "When…when Gaara and I were younger…I spilled milk on Gaara's teddy bear…and so, for revenge…Gaara…Gaara…" Kankuro couldn't even finish.
Asuma nudged him. "Continue!" he said.
Kankuro sniffled. "Gaara…trapped me under ground…and…and…made me watch…Britney Spears…shaving her head! 60 TIMES IN A ROW!" Kankuro then began to cry.
Asuma gasped, and patted Kankuro on the back. "I…I am so sorry."
I have nothing against Britney Spears…
So no "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! SHE'S ONLY HUMAN!"
Yeah…
"Know what you are, what you are, baby womanizer woman womanizer your a womanizer oh womanizer oh you're a womanizer, you're a womanizer, baby!"
Shut up, Sasuke.
Once Kankuro stopped crying, he patted Asumas shoulder. "I shall help you!" he said.
Asuma gave him a thumbs up, and smiled.
They went to a corner…and planned.
Two hours later…
"Huh…nothing." Asuma said.
"Yeah…nothing." Kankuro agreed.
Yeah…we're not getting anywhere…
SUPER BRAINSTORMING POWER!
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…
….
…
I've got it. It's long…but that's okay.
Asuma suddenly came up with something so ridiculous…that he couldn't even believe he was thinking about ACTUALLY using it. He tapped Kankuro's shoulder.
"How does this sound?" he asked, and whispered the first dare into Kankuro's ear.
A giant smirk appeared across Kankuro's face, and replied, "It's perfect. Let's do this!"
Asuma jumped up.
"I have the dare!"
"It's about time. This…fangirl….keeps trying to…kiss me." Gaara said.
"You know you love it." Hana defended.
"So…what is it?" Naruto asked.
"NARUTO! YOUR AWAKE!" Sakura exclaimed, hugging Naruto.
"Yes, Sakura, I am awake." Naruto said.
Sakura then pressed her lips against Naruto's. She pulled away and hugged him again.
Naruto's face went dreamy. "Sakura-chan…." he sighed.
"Yeah, back on track…" Asuma said. He looked at Gaara, who was glaring at his…and still being hugged by Hana….
Asuma gulped. "Since you can't kill me…I thought of the most messed up thing…ever." he said.
Asuma took in a deep breath, and said, "Gaara…I dare you to…
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…
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…
…
…
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…Cosplay and do a strip tease…
…
…
…
….for the whole village."
…
…
…
…
Two words.
…
…
…
…
…
…
Oh.
….
…
…
…
Shit.
Everyone slowly turned their heads to look at Gaara…
Gaara wasn't glaring…
Gaara wasn't moving…
Gaara wasn't blinking…
But…then Gaara began to twitch.
Badly.
Gaara then gave Asuma the hardest, scariest, meanest glare anyone had ever seen.
If looks could kill…
Asuma would be in the pits of Hell right now.
Wow.
"No." Gaara said through gritted teeth.
Kankuro put a hand on Gaara's shoulder, and smiled. "Oh, come now, Gaara. It's not that bad. Besides…it could be worse. Lee could be part of the dare."
"HEY!"
"Quiet, you."
"Aww."
Gaara gave Kankuro a death stare. "When I get my sand back-"
"Gaara!" Temari interrupted. "Gaara, you have to do it. The Author is here…and he could make it worse…"
"How…"
Well… I have my ways.
"You better not play…the Pussy Cat Dolls…I hate them." Gaara said.
…
…
…
"Hey, where's Sasuke?" Ino asked.
Naruto turned and looked at her. "You didn't hear?"
"Hear what?" Shikamaru asked.
Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Well…remember how Itachi killed his whole Clan and everything but left Sasuke alive…?"
"Yeah…?"
"Well…Itachi missed a few members…It turns out, Sasuke is the forth Jonas Brother."
"….That explains…a lot."
"Yeah, Sasuke's on tour with the Pussy Cat Dolls."
- Meanwhile somewhere else in the world -
"LET ME HERE YOU SAY…DON'T CHA WISH YOUR GIRL FRIEND WAS…HOTT LIKE ME! NOW EVERYONE! DON'T CHA….DON'T CHA…"
- Back at Narutos -
Wow…
Anyway…
"Heh, no worries…they won't be apart of this…that I know of." Asuma said.
Gaara glared, but stood up. He shook Hana off of him, and began to walk.
"Where are you going?" Temari asked.
"To do my dare."
"You need to cosplay first!" Kankuro said.
The Author appeared in front of Gaara, stopping him in his tracks. He was holding two costumes.
"Alright, Gaara! Let's get you dressed! Now, you can either cosplay as Usagi Tsukino from Sailor moon….or as Naruto…"
"HEY! GIVE ME BACK MY JUMP SUIT!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Ha! Nice underwear, Naruto!" Ino laughed.
"THEY'RE NICER THEN YOURS!"
Gaara grabbed the Sailor Moon outfit glared at the Author. The Author smiled. "Good choice. Here's your clothes back, Naruto."
- In the middle of Konoha -
Gaara was in his outfit…heh…funny how he'd choose a dress over Naruto's jump suit.
"SHUT UP!" Naruto exclaimed.
Lightning…
"Nevermind…"
That's what I thought…
Anyway…
STRIP TEASE TIME WITH GAARA!
For some reason…there was a plat form in the middle of the village…and Gaara was standing on it…in his dress…isn't he just so adorable? XD
"I'll kill you." Gaara mumbled.
That's nice….
Every fan girl got new of this event going on, and they all came to the center of the village to witness this….
Shikamaru looked around. "Look at all the fangirls…"
"I know…" Ino said. "They're so creepy."
Shikamaru looked at her. "Ino…YOU used to be a fangirl."
"And I was creepy."
"Yes…yes you were." Shikamaru agreed.
Kiba looked around, and sighed. "This is weird."
Hinata nodded.
"KIIIIBBBBAAA!"
Kiba and Hinata froze, and turned around. Hanabi was running towards them. They forgot that she had just become a fangirl…
Hanabi glomped Kiba, and said, "MY LOVE! OH HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU!"
"Get…off…me…NOW!"
"Sorry." Hanabi jumped off him, and smiled.
Hinata tapped her sister on the shoulder. Hanabi turned and frowned. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm with Kiba."
Hanabi stared at Hinata for a moment, before she burst out laughing.
"HAHAH! As IF Kiba would choose someone like you! He loves me!" she laughed.
Kiba shook his head. "Incorrect. You loose. You go home with nothing. Good-bye now." Kiba said, pushing her away.
Hanabi looked at him with hurt eyes. "Kiba…you can't be serious…"
"Oh? I'll show you serious, then."
Kiba grabbed ahold of Hinata's face, and crushed his lips against her. Hanabi gasped as Hinata wrapped her arms around Kiba's neck.
They pulled away, and Hinata smiled. "Sorry, Hanabi. Why don't you try Shino?" she asked, and her and Kiba went off into a corner to make-out.
Shino was suddenly by Hanabi's side. Hanabi looked up at him, and he wiggled his eyebrows at her.
She sighed.
Yeah, anyway…
With Gaara.
Kankuro came up on the plat form, a microphone in hand, and shouted, "NOW FOR GAARA!"
All the fangirls went crazy.
Yeah…
Even you…
You know who you are…
Kankuro left the platform…and Gaara just stood there…
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Cricket Cricket
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"TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF!"
"COME ON!"
"GAARA I LOVE YOU!"
All the fangirls began to complain.
"I CALLED FRONT ROW, LEE!"
"I WAS HERE FIRST, HANA!"
Wow…
Gaara looked around at all the fangirls…and sighed.
He might as well get it over with…
Besides…no one was going to remember anyway…
And if he didn't…then the fangirls wouldn't leave him alone.
LEAVE GAARA ALONE! HE'S ONLY HUMAN!
Yeah I'm done.
Gaara grabbed ahold of his shirt…and ripped it off.
The fangirls went crazy at Gaara's super sexy, toned body.
Must not…kill…them…ALL Gaara screamed in his head.
Hmm…how do you explain a strip tease…
Gaara removed his…skirt?
Hahahaha Gaara had a skirt on…
HA!
"I hate you." Gaara grumbled.
You still have one more dare after this!
"I hate you." Gaara repeated.
That's great.
Gaara tossed the skirt into the crowd…and Lee caught it.
"IT'S MINE! I GOT THE YOUTHFUL SKIRT!"
All the fangirls attacked Lee.
Gai went into save him.
The fangirls almost killed the both…
…
….
…
…over a skirt.
I will never understand womens love for fashion and skirts and whatnot.
Oh well.
Soon…Gaara was only in his underwear.
Cue fangirl screams…..NOW.
"AHHHHHHH!"
Perfect.
Gaara glared at the audience. "I hate you all."
God, your so emo sounding.
I'll fix that…in your next chapter. I can make you nice. Look at what I did for Sasuke!
Kankuro came onto the plat form. "GLOMP GAARA! 10 BUCKS EACH GLOMP!
In within an hour…Kankuro was rich.
Serious.
"Now I can start my puppet show…" Kankuro mumbled.
- Back at Narutos -
"I'm going to kill you all."
"We know already!"
"Just reminding you."
Asuma smiled. "While we were out watching you strip…I came up with your next dare…
….
….
….
….
….
Gaara…I dare you to…"
TO BE CONTINUED
-x-x-x-
This chapter is long…I'm sorry if it wasn't that great. I tried really hard to think of something funny and great and OOC for Gaara to do…and that was the best I could come up with so I hope you all enjoyed it. Don't hate me for the horrible cliffhanger Haha!
Also, Hana-01...I totally made you OOC…I'm sorry about that...heh, You weren't really shy in this…were you? I know you told me to do whatever…but still…tell me what'cha thought! I hope you didn't mind being a total...Gaara fangirl...heh.
So…I will see you all next time…REVIEW! Bye! XD