And we're back! It's still Gaara's turn…heh…Fangirls. I think this will be the last chapter for Gaara…so, Gaara fans…enjoy this last chapter because we'll probably never hear from Gaara again…because apparently, he doesn't like to talk unless I make him. I'm already Dead as it is…Hmmm…who will be Gaara's poor victim? I haven't decided…but I'll figure it out at the end of the chapter…Hmmmmm…Anyway…
Disclaimer: I own nothing mentioned in this fic. Also, if I offend any of you with making fun of the characters or other people…sorry(not really) but I own nothing. So don't sue. I don't have anything.
Enjoy.
-x-x-x-
Previously…
Kankuro came onto the plat form. "GLOMP GAARA! 10 BUCKS EACH GLOMP!
In within an hour…Kankuro was rich.
Serious.
"Now I can start my puppet show…" Kankuro mumbled.
- Back at Narutos -
"I'm going to kill you all."
"We know already!"
"Just reminding you."
Asuma smiled. "While we were out watching you strip…I came up with your next dare…
….
….
….
….
….
Gaara…I dare you to-"
…
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…
….
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…
Asuma smiled. "…Just kidding. I got nothing'."
"ASUMA!" Everyone shouted at him.
Asuma flinched back, and put his hands up in defense. "W-what? The Author needed something exciting to end last chapter…and what's more exciting then a crappy cliffhanger…?" Asuma replied.
"Very true!" the Author exclaimed from the Emo Corner.
Gaara glared at Asuma, and growled, "Look, if this next dare involves fangirls…you're going to be the first to die."
Asuma gave a nervous chuckle.
Sorry Gaara…I think you're forgetting someone…
"GAAAARA!" Hana shouted, appearing out of no where. Gaara's…eyebrow….less…ness….twitched…
Why doesn't Gaara have eyebrows?
Hana hugged Gaara from behind and said, "Because he's Gaara…he doesn't need eyebrows to be hott!" She kissed his cheek and giggled.
Gaara glared at her. "I hate the fangirls."
"Then you shouldn't have been so hott." Kankuro said, crossing his arms. "I told you to let me be the hott one…But nooooo…GAARA has the be the hott one. No eyebrows beats make-up!" Kankuro shook his head as he began to sob quietly.
Awwww…Kankuro! I'm sure you have fangirls!
Kankuro sniffled. "Yeah…but they always pair me up with KIBA in fanfics…" he mumbled.
"WHAT! ? ! ?" Kiba exclaimed.
Kankuro nodded. "I don't know how or why…but they do…"
"WHY?"
"I just said that I didn't know."
Kiba shook his head. "I hate fangirls…"
"Agreed." Gaara said.
Kiba blinked. Hmmmm….Gaara just agreed with me…but what does it MEAN? he thought. The world is coming to an end. We're all going to die. Good thing I bought that helmet.
Good for you.
Kakashi began to giggle. Everyone looked at him questioning.
"Kakashi…? What are you reading?" Naruto asked, looking over his Sensei's shoulder.
"Fanfics…I understand why people pair Kiba and Kankuro up…it's HILARIOUS!"
"WHAT! ? ! ?" Kiba and Kankuro exclaimed. They rushed over and took the fic away.
"Hey! I wasn't finished! I still have to review!" Kakashi complained.
Kiba and Kankuro began to read the fic.
When they were finished…they looked up.
"You people are sick."
Heh...
Hehhhh…
If you support it…don't sue.
Hinata then took the fic away, and began to read it. She let out a giggle. "This is kinda funny…" she mumbled.
"HINATA! ?" Kiba exclaimed. He took the fic away from her and tore it apart.
"MY FIC!" Kakashi cried, reaching out.
Kiba ripped it into tiny pieces. He pointed at Kakashi, and harshly said, "If I catch you with something like that again-"
"I won't read it anymore! Fine! God!" Kakashi said, but he pulled out another fic.
Kiba and Kankuro glared at him.
Kakashi shrugged. "It's not about you…Honest." he told them. Naruto looked over Kakashi's shoulder.
Naruto's jaw dropped. "I would NEVER do that to Sasuke!"
Everyone sweat dropped.
Asuma sighed. "Okay, I can't think of anything, Gaara." he said, trying to get back on topic.
Gaara tried to push Hana away, but she had herself attached to his hip…and she wasn't going anywhere…
All fangirls be jealous…
Errrr…
…
…
…
NOW!
Jealoussssss.
Excellent.
"Yeah…" Asuma said.
Naruto was disgusted by the fic Kakashi was reading, Sakura started reading and couldn't say she hated it, Sasuke was on tour with the Pussy Cat Dolls, Kakashi was enjoying his fanfics, Shikamaru was for some reason braiding Ino's hair, Ino was painting her nails, Choji had left and come back with a plate of food, Asuma was thinking of something for Gaara to do that wouldn't get him killed later, Kiba and Hinata decided to make out for some odd and OOC reason, Shino was…brushing his afro, Kurenai was poking Asuma, Neji was still unconscious, Lee was trying to touch his hair, Tenten was stabbing pins into Lee's arm for doing so, Gai was giving Gaara another youth speech, Kankuro was having dirty thoughts, Temari was also having dirty thoughts, and Gaara….was trying NOT to kill Gai…oh, and Hana.
The Author was getting tired of this.
He came up behind Asuma, laptop in hand, and said, "Alright…since you can't think of anything…and I can't think of anything…it leaves us no choice…We must…consult the reviews."
DUN DUN DUUUUN.
Asuma smirked. "Alright." he said, taking the laptop. He looked through the ideas the reviewers gave…and smiled.
"Alright, I've got it this time."
"For real?" Shikamaru asked.
Asuma nodded. "For shizzle my nizzle!"
…
…
…
…
…
"Never do that again." Kurenai said.
"Sorry. But yes, for real this time." Asuma said. He looked over at Gaara…who was surprisingly having a decent conversation Hana.
"…So then, I used my sand, and I caught him in it…then I used Sand Coffin on his ass."
"You're so dreamy…" Hana sighed.
Everyone sweat dropped.
"Erm…Gaara? I have your final dare…" Asuma said.
Gaara looked over at him. "What is it?" he asked, emotionally.
Asuma smiled, and said, "Gaara…I dare you…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
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DO EVERYTHING THE REVIEWS SUGGESTED!"
…
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…
…Really?
Everyone turned to look at Gaara's reaction.
"Oh, and I think most of them are fangirls." Asuma added. "If not, they gave an idea."
Gaara twitched. "Let's just get this over with." he grumbled.
Asuma held up the laptop, and gave a proud smile. "Alright Gaara, some one said….you have to destroy…your teddy bear."
…
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…
"Oh…God." Temari and Kankuro said.
Gaara began to twitch uncomfortably. He stood up. "Who said that?" he growled.
Asuma put his hands up in defense. "Um…it's private?" he said it like a question.
Gaara was fuming. "I…WILL….NEVER…HURT…. MR. CUDDLE MCWUDDLES!"
Everyone froze.
"…You…named your teddy bear…Mr. Cuddle McWuddles?" Asuma asked, trying to hold in a laugh…knowing that if he DID laugh…Gaara wouldn't need his sand to kill.
"YES." Gaara replied.
"That's….cute?" Asuma said.
"THANK YOU."
Temari frowned, and placed a hand on Gaara's shoulder. "Gaara…you have to destroy it."
Gaara turned and glared at her. "NO! NOT MR. CUDDLE MCWUDDLES!" he exclaimed, slowly rising his hands to her next.
Temari pushed his hands down. "Look, Gaara, if you want…after the game finishes…I'll buy you a new teddy be-"
"NO I WANT MR. CUDDLE MCWUDDLES!" Gaara cried out.
"Gaara." Temari said, placing her hands on his cheeks. "We'll go to build-a-bear work shops and we'll make you a new teddy…okay? Is that okay?"
"NO! I WANT MR. CUDDLE MCWUDDLE! I DON'T WANNA HURT HIM! I DON'T WANNA! I DON'T WANNA!" Gaara screamed, and began thrashing around. Temari grabbed his arms, and Kankuro helped her pin him down.
…Hm.
Gaara reminds me of that kid that's ALWAYS at Wal*Mart, crying because he can't get that candy…
Fantastic.
Mr. Cuddle McWuddle was suddenly in Gaara's gasp. "I WON'T LET YOU HURT HIM! HE'S MINE!"
Temari grabbed the bear, and tried to pull it away. "Gaara! It's part of the dare! You have to do it! I'm sorry, and I'll buy you a new-"
"I DON'T WANT A NEW TEDDY! I WANT MR. CUDDLE MCWUDDLES!"
"I know, Gaara, I know." Temari comforted, pulling her brother into a hug. Gaara cried into her shoulder. Kankuro patted his back, trying to comfort as well.
Everyone watched with blank looks on their faces.
"Just destroy the teddy bear Gaara." Asuma said. "You're too old anyway."
Gaara stopped crying and looked at Asuma. "Yeah, you're right." Gaara agreed. "This teddy is nothing but bad memories."
Gaara threw the teddy on the ground and began to stomp on it.
"DIE, MR. CUDDLE MCWUDDLES, DIE!"
Gaara picked up the teddy and began to bite him. Gaara bit the head off, and tore out all the stuffing.
All three year olds…look away.
Once the Mr. Cuddle McWuddles was destroyed, everyone looked down at the pile of shreds that was left.
Gaara looked back at Temari. "We're going to that workshop after this." he told her. Temari nodded.
Gaara looked over at Asuma. "What's next?" he asked.
Asuma looked down at the screen and said, "Umm, you have to sing…a funny song…"
"A…funny song. You're kidding, right." Gaara said dryly.
Asuma shook his head. "No, but I just found a list of funny songs! Oh! You should sing Barbie Girl!"
Gaara's eye twitched. "No."
"You always so no but you end up doing it anyway." Asuma told him. "NOW SING, BARBIE!"
"He needs someone to be…Ken…." Everyone turned and looked at the Author.
The Author looked up, and glared at them. "No, I don't think so. Just because my name is Ken doesn't mean I have to be apart of this!"
"I think it was destiny." Shikamaru said.
No, it wasn't.
I don't sing.
"Sing with me, you loser." Gaara said, pulling the Author away.
BUT I DON'T WANNA!
"Sing, or you're next."
You can't kill me. I'm the Author.
"Who said I was going to kill you?"
Umm…You did?
Gaara smirked. "Oh, no…I won't kill you…No, no, no…I'll stick you underground though…and I will force you to watch Britney Spears shave her head…." Gaara threatened. "Over , and over, and over….and over…and over again."
…
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…
Fine.
I'll sing.
But I won't like it.
Gaara smirked, and said, "Let's get this over with."
Lee for some reason had radio, and turned the Barbie song on.
The music began to play….
…
…
…
Hi Barbie.
"Hi Ken."
Wanna go for a ride.
"Sure, Ken."
Hop in.
"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world…" Gaara said…with no emotion…at ALL. Heh, I'm not one to talk. "Life in plastic…it's fucking fantastic."
Ehhh…
"You can brush my hair." Gaara ran his fingers through his hair.
"And Undress me everywhere." Gaara…then ripped off his top. Hana gave a fangirl scream and fainted…as did Lee….and you.
"Imagination…" Gaara pointed out at everyone. "Life is your creation."
Come on Barbie…Let's go party…
"I'm a Red-Head bimbo girl, in the fantasy world…" Gaara blew a kiss…
"Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly…" Gaara grabbed a dress and held it up…
You're my doll…rock'n'roll…feel the glamour in pink….
kiss me here… touch me-oh God…
…hanky panky...
"You can touch… you can play…if you say: 'I'm always yours'" Gaara ran his fingers down his chest.
"Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please…" Gaara, still emotionless…began to do a cat-walk…
"I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees…." Hana woke up, and Gaara bent down on his knees in front of her…kinda like a cat…and she fainted again…
Come jump in… bimbo friend…let us… do it again?
Hit the town, fool aro-GOD! CAN THIS SONG GET ANY DIRTIER! ? ! ?
"Oh, Ken, I'm having so much fun…"
Well Barbie, we're… just getting started…
Oh, I hate you, Ken…
…
…
…
…
I never realized just how dirty that song was… until now.
Every clapped their hands and all the fangirls tossed roses and their…underwear…at Gaara.
Gaara gave a nod, and looked at Asuma. "Next…"
Asuma, still in shock about was just happened, shook his head, and looked down at the screen.
"Umm….Next…someone wants to see you pick up some random chick off the street…?" Asuma replied.
…
…
…
…
"Seriously?" Gaara asked.
Asuma nodded.
Gaara sighed. "It can't be as bad as singing."
Agreed.
- In the Middle of Konoha -
"How about her?"
"Fake."
"Okay…her?"
"Nose is too big."
"Fine…her?"
"Fake boobs."
"Okay, you're too picky."
Kankuro was trying to help Gaara pick out some random girl to pick up….It wasn't going well.
Kankuro pointed at a red-head. "Her?"
"That's Ino, moron." Gaara replied.
"Watch yourself, Kankuro." Shikamaru warned.
Kankuro threw this hands up in the air. "I give up. You're on your own. Gaara."
Gaara shrugged, and looked through all the woman that walked by.
Hana jumped up and grabbed a hold of Gaara's arm. "This is a stupid dare." she complained.
"I know." he agreed.
Gaara turned and looked at Asuma. "What do you even mean by picking a girl up, anyway?" he asked.
Asuma scratched the back of his head, and replied, "Well, seeing as this is a T rated story, it can't be something sexual. So…maybe flirt, and give a kiss or two…because pick up can me take them home and…hanky panky…"
…
…
…
I hate you, Asuma.
Asuma shrugged. "Just pick one out and flirt, and kiss…and stuff." he said.
Gaara sighed. "Fine."
Gaara decided to just get it over with. He walked over to the first girl he saw, after shaking Hana off, and tapped her shoulder.
She turned around, and looked at him with curiosity. She had golden blond hair that touched her shoulder, and bright green eyes.
"Can I help you?" she asked.
"You're cute." Gaara said…with, again, no emotion…
The girl blushed, and looked away. "Why, thank you…That's sweet."
"I'm Gaara." he said.
"N-Naomi." she stuttered.
"Want a kiss?"
"Yes."
Gaara placed his hands on her cheeks, and pressed his lips against hers.
Everyone watched in shock.
They didn't think Gaara could do it…
…and so fast.
"WHY! ? ! ?" Lee and Hana cried out,
"Huh…who knew." Kiba said, and Hinata nodded.
"Player." Kakashi said.
Gaara pulled away. They stared at each other for a moment. Naomi pulled out a pen…or whatever, and grabbed Gaara's arm.
"What are you doing?" Gaara asked.
"Here's my number." she replied.
"'Kay, thanks."
After that, he walked away.
"CALL ME!" Naomi called out.
Gaara waved at her. He turned to Asuma. "Next."
Asuma blinked, and looked at the screen. "Next, they want you to sing Sexy Back to all your fangirls…"
"…Dammit."
…
…
…
…
…
"So do it." Asuma said.
Gaara shrugged, and a plat form suddenly came up out of the ground, and Gaara stood on it.
Even though it was just announced less than a second ago, all the fangirls were back, and ready from some action.
Kankuro appeared with a microphone, once again. "AND HERE'S GAARA!"
The fangirl went wild.
Gaara stood there…and remember how he put his shirt back on…
…
Well, he ripped it off again, and threw the remaining pieces into the crowd.
Many casualties were caused over those pieces…
Nice…
"I'm bringing Sexy back…" Gaara said.
"All those other guys don't know how to act." Gaara pointed at the guys.
"I think your special…what's behind your back…"
The fans went crazy…
Right now…you're picturing this…and screaming.
Nice.
Before Gaara could even finish the song…the fans got past security…and glomped Gaara…
Good thing he doesn't have his sand…
- Back at Naruto's…place…His house is destroyed…remember? -
Gaara managed to escape the fangirls…but not by much.
Everyone barely got out of there…
Fangirls…are crazy…
Fanboys too…
O.O
Lee…
"What?"
Exactly.
"What's next?" Gaara asked.
Asuma looked at the screen. "One more…They want to know why you have no eyebrows…"
"Because I brought sexy back." Gaara answered.
…
…
…
…
…
…
Seriously?
"Yes. I'm sexier than all of you and I don't even need eyebrows." Gaara said.
Kankuro scratched the back of his head. "Gaara, you do know that's not the real reason, right…?"
"Shut up, Kankuro."
"I'm just saying…you have to tell them the real rea-"
"I said shut up, Kankuro."
"No! You have to tell them!"
Everyone stared at Gaara…
Waiting…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
"Well, tell us."
Gaara took in a deep breath.
"Lee stole them."
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…
…
"So THAT'S where these came from!" Lee exclaimed. "I didn't know they were yours!"
Gaara glared at him. "I want them back."
…Seriously?
WHY?
"…Huh?" Lee asked, reaching up and touching the brows.
"I want them back. Give them to me."
"NO! I may love you, but not enough to give you my youthful eyebrows!"
"They're MY youthful eyebrows…Now give them back!"
"No!"
"GIVE!"
"NO!"
"NOW!"
"NO!"
- Five Hours Later… -
"Owww…" Lee whined…rubbing his eyebrow less…face.
Heh…check Gaara out.
Gaara had re-applied his newly found eyebrows…
Now…picture Gaara with Lee's eyebrows…
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…
…
…
HAHAHAHAHAA!
"I'll kill you."
Nah.
Gaara frowned. "Is my turn over yet?" he asked.
Asuma nodded, and handed him the bottle.
Gaara took it, and said, "Dare."
He spun the bottle…
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
…Stop.
It landed on…Neji.
-x-x-x-
THIS….was a very…very long chapter…Well, I've probably had longer…but it feels longer…
Anyway…We have finished Gaara's turn…yay. Fangirls…enjoy. Hope you all liked it …and REVIEW!
Hana...hope you enjoyed your...fangirl...ness...yeah.
What will Neji do? Isn't he still unconscious…Hmmm. We'll just have to wake him up…or skip his turn. Either one. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, Review, and I'll see you all next time on Neji's turn. BYE!