[OMG. I'm staring at my kitty cat and he is just so adorable [his name is Tom] Okay imagine a kitty sitting normally. Now keep his back legs the same way with his butt sorta sticking out and move his front paws to top stretching distance with a sleepy head in the middle. So cute.]
[Chapter inspired by FinalFallenFantasy, garrashikasasukefan and FrankIeroRules whom actually decided to leave nice reviews, which I enjoyed.
[FinalFallenFantasy: HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER. Hope it's worthy of your review. . So yah, you are awesome. This one will be about Roxas/Axel instead. . . . But Seifer and Hayner will be in it. Added caffeine for you
garrashikasasukefan [I think you are Tsuki Mei now… someone switched account names] Whoa! Motivation and working hard. Thank you for reviewing happy]
FrankIeroRules: Have a sequel if you're interested
It's been a day since Hayner found out his feelings. It's been a day since Roxas found himself crying on Axel's shoulder. It had been a day since~…. Roxas swallowed the clump in his throat.
He stared at himself in the mirror the morning after.
He needed a distraction from everything. Nothing distracted him from thinking about Hayner, except Axel. And then he had to worry about Axel's feelings. It was too much to think about.
Generally being around Hayner made his feel safe and warm, but after the rejection, the pain was so, so hard. Figures the way it works is that the one who warms you up is also the one you care about the most. If only it could just be your friend who you count on for support, because friends don't hurt each other like that. . . except if you're in love with that friend.
Roxas continued to look in the mirror oh so angsty. Time's up. He had to run to slam his alarm clock. Stupid snooze button, being all obnoxious.
When he got to school Roxas looked in every way depressed; Dark eyes, clothing that looked like they were just thrown on, messy hair . . . . More messy than usual; If that was possible. He knew that sometime he had to confront Axel. When he got to school he realized they had a project due. With all the thinking about Hayner and Axel, it was hard to keep everything straight.
"Hey Roxas, you okay" Hayner looked over kind of happy but worried. He obviously meant the best, but Roxas just couldn't stand to see him. Roxas felt like crap but couldn't admit it. He needed to get his energy back up. . Be like he was when he didn't have to worry about these things "I think I need something to clear my head" He mumbled, rubbing his head and avoiding looking straight at Hayner "Hey, I heard Fuujin has some energy . . . she might not like you but if you have some munny on you then . . . "
Roxas went to Fuu and bought her strongest drink. He didn't like her either. It just showed that Hayner was so close to Seifer's friends, knowing small details like that. Ever since a stupid petition you weren't allowed to buy energy drinks at school cause of those 'studies', they were impossible to find, unless of course you knew someone who had tons in her locker . . . She had them for selling purposes only . . . The vague remembrance of a smile appeared on his face as he thought up Fuu on energy drinks~ . . .. That girl was quite but had spunk. If that ever got out it would be very interesting. The first time she spoke more than a few words on her own she seemed to know everything. Little genius she was. The less you participate the move you can observe.
A few minutes earlier:
"So what do you plan to do about Roxas right now?" Asked Seifer before school where they met up.
"I don't know, but he's still a friend. I can't leave him and I don't want to break his heart any more than I have"
Seifer just agreed "Should we….? Put our relationship on hold for a bit?"
Hayner knew he would be able to count on Seifer "Only for a little bit. I'm sorry"
"It's okay" Seifer leaned in to give him a quick kiss "I'll see you later." He also included "By the way Fuu said she was going to sell energy drinks around today. You seem kind of tired. Might want to buy one"
Back to the present
Roxas opened the drink, downing it as though it were water, coughing hard and looking like he was crying. He sat down in his first period class. He had this class with Olette, Fuu and Rai. Half the days the 2 groups ignored each other, but the other half they would compete on everything. He was wishing so hard this day they would just leave him alone. Olette sat down next to him. He couldn't tell her.
"Good morning" He gave a tired wave and glanced at her. She looked very pretty in bright colors. She was always so happy. He looked away and crossed his arms. He knew she had been worried.
Fuu and Rai came into the room. He wanted to look as unnoticeable as possible but he was such a mess. "Ha, we'll beat you so bad on this next test" Roxas stood up and simply left, walking straight by them though the door, not caring at all for their confused faces. He knew the bell was about to ring but he couldn't care less. He found himself a nice lonely corner and slipped down against the wall, cuddling up into a ball.
He just stayed like he was for a few minutes. Then he felt his cheeks burn, tears rolling down. He tried to wipe them off but he was crying so hard. He bit his lip to prevent any sort of sniffling or whimpering sounds. Worst part is that all he wanted was for Axel to be there to comfort him, but he didn't have anything to give him back. He was always looking after Hayner.
Roxas waited for things to sink in again and then went to the bathroom, washing his face. His eyes were only slightly red. He stared in the mirror and decided it was enough, it had to be. He wiped off his face and tidied his clothing. He also went to his locker and grabbed a brush, making his hair look like it normally did.
He slowly prepared himself to go back to class. As he walked in he heard a "late". He was surprised it wasn't already the next class. It felt way longer when you could only think depressing feelings.
He sat down, getting his book out. He leaned over It seemed to Ollete "I'm fine now" She looked extremely worried but nodded. "M'kay. It's okay by the way. Ms. N hasn't really started the class." It seemed a certain group were annoying the teacher so much she had to go deal with them, giving him a time delay. Mr. N then walked into the room and started the class.
He proceeded to listen to the most boring lecture he had ever witnessed. History was all of his least favorite subject. And the classes after that continued just like that. He didn't see Hayner until third period. That had the classic wonder of why humans can't fly and other random science questions.
Finally it was the end of the period. He had been trying to avoid Hayner that period, which was thankfully pretty easy since their seats weren't that close. He sat in his next classroom spacing out mostly. So many boring periods. Roxas spaced through the lot of them. It was already 4th period. He looked aside to the outside, surprised at what he saw.
Axel was outside the window and waving. Class was over in 2 minutes. Roxas looked away. It was almost lunch and they both knew it. He looked back at the front of the classroom ignoring Axel.
When the bell rung he got his stuff together slowly. He went outside giving a sort of harsh look towards Axel. All the other students had used the indoors exits. "What do you want Axel?"
"I just wanted to see that you were all right" It was weird how well Axel blended in the high school punks. Who would have thought he was from a different world. Then again they wouldn't have thunk it of Roxas either but he had grown up there, or at least he thought he had.
Roxas stared "Is that all?" He said coldly.
"Yes"
Roxas put down his bag against the wall "I'm . . ." He looked down.
He felt Axel's hands on his shoulders and looked up just when he was pulled forward into a hug.
He bit his lip. It was so warm. "Stop doing this. You're only doing it so you can get something" He heard a soft "no" and pushed Axel away "Every time you do this, you're wanting something in return. Don't lie"
Axel had been pushed away but he knew Roxas still felt lonely, hugging him again. "This is enough"
Roxas felt a sort of jolt. "No, it's not" He tried pushing him away. He pulled him hard, moving his mouth against his and then pushed him away again "That's what you want! Stop it. Stop trying, stop"
Axel expression had dropped, and he pushed him firmly against the wall and simply pinned him there, standing straight, with his torso giving him room to breathe "You stop" His words sounded almost breathless. He had Roxas pinned but he wasn't doing anything except keep them close. He didn't grip Roxas' hands, just blocked him from attacking him. Roxas' heart was beating so fast.
Roxas stopped at the words. He wasn't allowed to move, forced to feel Axel's warmth. He wasn't being pushy at all...well mentally, about the things that relationship should have "Why don't you demand anything?" This time his words were soft. He bit his lip. Axel's face was above him, so they couldn't see each other, just feel. A soft whimper escaped his lips. He felt like he was going to cry, eyes burning. "Why are you like this?" He said and leaned slightly on Axel.
Axel pulled back to give Roxas some space and simply hugged him again.
Roxas didn't freak out this time. His volume had seeped out, now a quite whisper. "He's with Seifer. Everyone knew it was coming. Suddenly they're best friends? Yah, right. I don't get why, why it had to be him. Why?"
Axel paused, drawing him closer "People can't change the way they feel" He said softly.
"Why not?" He wanted somebody's feelings to change; Seifer's, Hayner's, his, maybe even Axel's feelings. It would make things less difficult. "Why can't you change the way you feel?" His voice shrank a bit "You know I'm not -" With the close hug he could feel Axel's heartbeat. It had sped up.
Axel 's hug had suddenly been much less comfortable. He had tensed up "How would I change it? How do you think I could possibly . .?" He realized he had tensed and relaxed a bit "I, I'm sorry"
Roxas didn't move to get out. His body was reacting to the reactions, heartbeat moving faster as well. In his mind he couldn't help but think 'Would I want it to change?' He stayed there for another minute and waited for everything to go back to regular time. "I. ." after a long pause "needToGoEatLunch. SeeYouAnotherTime" He said pulling away from Axel and grabbed his backpack. He was out of there as fast as possible.
Axel stood there lingering and then softly put his index finger on its side to his lips. His ears were a bit pink in the back. He stood zoned out for a couple of minutes before leaving. Roxas was his only reason for being anywhere near a school. Other than that he might as well call it an alligator pit.
======================
His head drooped as he continued to walk silently. And that's when he saw it, the instant he decided to finally look up. The last thing he wanted to see. In Seifer's arm was Roxas' best friend curled up lips not just softly touching. And Seifer's hands were way too low in the back. The way they were so rabidly kissing. His backpack, only previously on one shoulder easily dropped to the ground. Both Hayner and Seifer looked over alarmed, breaking apart
Before any words could be said, Roxas was running out of there leaving his backpack. He would've heard something if he'd stayed but the other two were too shocked to speak, mostly because of how betrayed he looked. It felt like he couldn't breathe. That tightening in his chest, what could he do? God, why did this have to happen to him.
And that's when Roxas ran straight into someone, not noticing who it was. He plowed his way through but felt himself get pulled back. He looked around, just for a second to see; Axel held onto his wrist "Tell me, what happened?" How could he deal with this. The tears were already streaming from his eyes.
Axel held Roxas "Why always when I'm like this?" Roxas said softly, biting his lip to hold back the sniffles. "No one sees me like this. Never, and then you show up and . . "
Axel couldn't help feeling a jab. Maybe he wasn't helping Roxas when he was being like that; maybe he brought it out of him. "I, I didn't mean t-" He was pulling his arms away.
"Don't let go" Came the soft whisper. "Don't let me go. . .I" He had seemed to calm a little, turning awkwardly towards Axel to face him. His expression was so sensitive, so desperate. How could he stop himself feeling all this?
Axel allowed him space to turn around and then hugged him again. "I only want you to feel-"
"Quiet" came the quick response. It was quiet but powerful, shutting Axel up. Roxas was held so tightly. The feelings echoing through his body; He slowly hugged Axel back, hands moving around Axel at his hips where his pants met his shirt, hands feeling skin. The more contact they had, the more he felt his heat the calmer he became. He felt a shudder from Axel and started moving his hands away.
"NoThey'reColdThat'sAll" Said Axel as fast as he could possibly speak. He pulled his left hand back to take hold of Roxas' right hand, bringing it up to eye level and squeezing it tight, bringing it to his chest. "I could warm them up if you want." He said shyly.
Roxas, who was now far enough from him so they could see each other's faces didn't know how to reply. He looked aside. "Only if you want to" He said softly. He felt a flutter in his heart. It was hard to notice but in contrast to the chaos, it was such a change of feelings. Calm swept over Roxas.
Axel pulled his other hand back and opened Roxas' hand, rubbing each side with one of his hands and blew a bit of hot air on it. Roxas had looked back, blushing softly.
"You're making the rest of me cold" He said, looking a bit shy. Axel wanted to be close to him, and that was okay. It was more than okay.
Axel didn't know how to react and then kissed his hand, dropping it and then hugging him tightly again. "Whatever you want"
Roxas had reacted to the kiss, face turning a bit more pink. Since Axel paused there for a second he didn't know whether Axel would do anymore and he had imagined Axel biting his fingers softly, licking, anything. His hands softly went under Axel's shirt, moving up into it, his hands so cold compared to the hot skin "Why are you always so warm?" He said so gently, biting Axel's chest, which ended up being more of his shirt.
"What are you doing?" Axel said, chest thumping. He stared as though surprised, happy, and suspicious at the same time.
"You haven't answered my question yet" Pulling back a little. He couldn't believe he had just done that. The embarrassment showed clearly on his face. His mind was completely blank moving on instinct instead of thoughts/
"I. . .I don't know" He said shivering as Roxas' hands moved even higher into his shirt. "Your hands they're . ."
"Are you asking me to move them?" He said pulling back a bit more.
"Don't! I. . sorry. Like it" He said feeling his beating go faster "Roxas, are you?" He paused for a moment as though he was about to say something bad or ridiculous. It was quite a gamble "are you trying to tempt me?" He felt stupid just asking it, hoping Roxas wouldn't pull away because of his statement.
Roxas didn't feel like answering, pulling his hands back and facing away. "I should see you tomor~"
"Don't go! I" Axel said kind of panicked "I!" There was a pause "I'm sorry. You can. . .whatever you want"
"It's okay. For now i just wanna go home. I'll" he looked down nervously "I'll see you tomorrow won't I?"
Roxas was deliberately asking him to go see him and possibly not because he was depressed. There was no way that Axel would possibly ever in his lifetime pass up an opportunity like this. Axel stared at him curiously "Defiantly" said Axel looking at him straight on. "You will"
-scene change-
It wasn't till the next day that they saw each other again. Roxas decided to skip 4th period, going outside instead. He looked around. No one interesting except a random kid cutting class to smoke. Roxas didn't much care. That guy was getting an early death and deserved it by the looks of it. Turning he saw Axel, fidgeting with his...whoa! Was Axel really wearing what he thought he was. He was wearing a plad TIE and apparently trying to figure out how to tie it, as well as a white button-up and plad pants. He came over as Axel was still preoccupied and without any warning fixed it.
Axel completely oblivious to his presence prior looked at him really surprised and then "You weren't supposed to see that. I totally know how to tie a tie" dotdotdot "with a good instruction manual" He looked extremely embarrassed at that remark.
"Business class" Roxas said hesitantly "So what's with the outfit"
"Well, you said I look really weird last time, or suspicious, so this blends much better" He said doubtfully. He wasn't exactly mister fashion. "So how come you're out here early?" He looked around as though expecting the rest of the class to be outside too.
"Just didn't feel like staying in school on such a nice day"
"Is our obedient Roxas becoming a troublemaker?" Axel said teasingly. "Business classes haven't done their effect now"
"Never mention it and I'll let you kiss me" Said Roxas, completely straight faced. At Axel's confused 'are you serious!' expression he looked away, feeling slightly hurt "unless you don't want to?" He said almost questionably.
"Of course i do" Axel said, back of the ears turning bright red. He slowly looked Roxas in the eyes and then moved in close to his face, soft breath tickling the blonde's lips. He paused, fascination and joy overwhelming him. He proceeded to very gently brush his lips against the other's, eyes slipping closed and instantly pulling back, face red.
For all that anticipation Roxas didn't just want a mini half kiss, grabbing Axel's tie and pulling him into a REAL kiss, full on lip contact, feeling a muffled gasp of surprise. He was even so bold as to introduce a tongue in the mix, slipping it softly against the hot lips and the response was another tongue against his own for just a moment before Roxas pulled back again
Axel then hesitated and made that face like he thought he was about to say something stupid. "Can i? Can i kiss you again?" At the soft nod from a boy who was looking down, he pulled said boy's chin up so they were looking at each other and went in for a kiss, this time with more than a second's tongue and softly open mouths. Their eyes had slid closed and their arms went around each other.
Roxas finally pulled back, moving across the yard, and leaned against the brick wall, sliding down it to sit. "It really is a nice day isn't it"
Axel had to take a moment to breathe before speaking, not because he had been kissing Roxas but because his brain was so much on overdrive. His entire world was crumbling, in the good way. Axel sat next to him and looked up at the sky "Reminds me of destiny island."
"What?" Asked Roxas vaguely
"Oh it's nothing" responded the other, smiling.
"So, I heard you lost the struggle competition. What's up with that? I figure with your skills, you could easily win"
Roxas laughed "Of course I would if Hayner wasn't my opponent I would have kicked butt." He kicked at the grass confidently, making some swinging motions with his arms "I know you would have" A soft laugh escaping his lips "In fact, against the leading champion I got all 200 of them." Although, if Axel remembered correctly, the only reason reigning campaign got that title was by bribing the contestants. Might be good not to mention that though. They sat there talking for a while until it was lunch. Making bad jokes and then laughing at them. After a while their hands touched as they were laughing and they stopped. Axel gently moved his hand in to intertwine with Roxas' fingers. Neither said anything about it but talked about all the twilight town games, made fun of the grumpy old townsfolk and halfway through a conversation Roxas kissed Axel again without any warning. Neither of them saw it coming but went with it, simply kissing for a bit.
Roxas pulled back and grabbed his backpack. "Come with me" He said as he grabbed Axel's hand and dragged him away to the lunchroom. He saw Pense, Ollete, and Hayner "You eaten yet?" "umm. Yah " He pulled him to the table and set down his backpack "Hey guys, meet Axel. Be right back" He ran off to the lunch line, which thankfully right now was pretty much null.
He grabbed his food and then sat down across from Axel that was still standing up, although seeming to have a fun conversation with them about video games Roxas guessed Axel must have gotten pretty bored staying in Twilight Town. He wasn't exactly sure how that worked.
He saw Seifer and Hayner on the other side. It was slightly upsetting looking. He walked up to them, Hayner looking worried and Seifer looking regretful. "Sorry about yesterday. I just wanted to say. . .I'm ok now. So, whatever you choose to do, I really don't mind" His smile was completely genuine. They were both surprised but both seemed fairly happy with the outcome. "You sitting at our table today?" He asked the both of them. Hayner paused before "Yah" Seifer looked testingly at him "I guess I'll see you later?" "You don't want to join?" Roxas said. They were both consistently surprised by everything coming out of his mouth today. They. . .it was just so unexpected. "Sure" Seifer said. Wow, it was a surprise.
When they sat down, Roxas next to Axel, they somehow managed to get comfortable right away. Axel and Hayner were competing on who had better scores on Xbox overall while Roxas and Hayner laughed their heads off and joined the competition. Roxas realized how well Hayner and Seifer actually fit together. It was great. On the other side Pense and Olette had a side conversation about shopping. . . They understood Olette talking about it. Then they teased Pense for knowing way too much about girl's clothing and shopping "Well if she didn't drag me everywhere" He said defensively. Olette rolled her eyes and kicked him under the table.
So many mistakes had happened in the recent times; Hayner misjudging Seifer, Pense and Olette being detached, Axel telling Hayner Roxas' feelings, Roxas giving into Axel's comfort so much, finding Hayner and Seifer so close.
They were all mistakes at the time, but as they sat there, Roxas realized. Maybe mistakes weren't so bad.
Comments: 3 years! 3 years I worked on it on and off. This took so long to write. I kept getting scenes in my head so the hardest part was piecing it all together. I'm very glad with how this turned out and couldn't have done it without REVIEWERS. So thank you for supporting me and hopefully I'll get the wagon back on track. [The writing one]
Please REVIEW.