Hey guys! I'm so sorry for the delay, but it's been hectic here. Yeah, I was planning to update on Christmas, then on New Years Eve, then on V-Day, then on the first of the month…but that didn't quite goes at planned. Heh, but all that matters is that I'm here now, and back with a new chapter! So, as I began writing this, I truly realized something: THIS STORY IS ALMOST FINISHED! AHAHAHA! Ohhh I'm excited! Erm…Sorry, but I am. Not that I didn't enjoy this story…it's just…y'know. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I worked hard on it. :D
Disclaimer: I own nothing mentioned in this story. The characters used are the property of Masashi Kishimoto.
Enjoy!
-x-x-x-
Previously:
Neji was then hit over the head with a shillelagh.
"HA!" Shikamaru laughed. "I win."
Neji rubbed the top of his head. "WHAT THE HELL!" he shouted.
Shikamaru smiled. "It was re-QUESTED!" he sang.
Tenten took the shillelagh away and began to chase Shikamaru around with it.
"LEAVE MY SHIKA-POO ALONE!" Ino gasped, and joined the chase.
Neji continued to rub his head, and began, "Anyway, as I was saying…This is going to be a…Marriage."
Naruto and Sakura stopped making out and gasped, Sasuke walked through the door just in time to hear what was happening, Kakashi blinked with surprise, Shikamaru stopped running and gasped, Tenten began to jump and squeal, Ino ran into a wall, Asuma found a real cigarette but then choked on it, Kiba and Hinata were still in the other room, Shino was so shocked that he squished his mini-me spider, Kurenai blushed, Lee began to clap his hands in wonder, Gai did his good guy pose and his teeth went ping, Temari gave a quick glance at Lee, Kankuro hugged his puppets, and Gaara prayed to the heavens and above that he would have nothing to do with this next turn.
Oh wow. O.o
Marriage…Well…this is certainly going to be interesting…
Neji looked around. "Why's everyone shocked? I figured that you guys would have done one of these already."
Naruto shook his head. "Nope…we haven't…" he said.
Sasuke took his sunglasses off dramatically, and exclaimed, "What'd I miss!"
Everyone looked over at him, but didn't say anything.
Sasuke stared at them. "FABULOUS!" he cried out.
Anyway…
Neji shrugged. "Well, we'll just have to see what happens."
Neji then spun the bottle…
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
Everyone watched the bottle, stiff as boards. Their eyes followed the bottle as it spun around and around. Everyone looked like statues. I mean, this was MARRIAGE! Not one of them wanted it to land on them…well…most of them…then Kiba and Hinata don't know anything…for now…so they're safe…
Let's take a look into their minds and see what they're really thinking:
Naruto: Crap! I'm too young for marriage! Oh God, what if I had to marry SAKURA!
Sakura: Ohhhh if it landed on me…I could marry Naruto then I would have complete CONTROL OVER HIM FOR EVER AND HE WOULD WORSHIP THE GROUND I WALK ON! …LAND ON ME!
Sasuke: Oh no! I lost chibi number 35! Where'd he go! THIRTY-FIVE!
Kakashi: Maybe if I stand up slowly and leave quietly they won't notice I'm gone…
Kiba: I like Hinata.
Hinata: I like Kiba.
Shino: I like grasshoppers.
Kurenai: This is NOT going to end well, I can just see it! Why in the world would someone play a game where they could possibly get married in? But then again…look at me…sigh. I'm going to die alone…
Asuma: If I married a carton of cigarettes…THEN I WOULD NEVER BE LEFT WITHOUT A SMOKE!
Shikamaru: This is getting very troublesome…will the bottle just stop spinning? The suspense is even killing me…
Ino: Land on me, land on me, land on me, land on me, land on me, land on me…
Choji: Land on me, land on me, land on me, land on me, land on me, land on me…
Neji: Oh wouldn't it just suck if it ended up landing on Gaara? :D
Tenten: Neji has pretty hair.
Lee: LAND ON ME! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE YOUTH, LAND ON ME!
Gai: If Neji's sexy, I'm sexy…If Neji's sexy, I'm sexy…
Temari: I don't want it to land on me…yes I do…Then I could talk Lee into letting me marry him…then he will be mine… Mine… MINE!
Kankuro: I wanna marry Miss Piggy.
Gaara: I'll kill all my fangirls if it lands on me. I swear to you I will.
Hmmmm… You don't want to know what I'm thinking right now.
The bottle continued to spin…at the same rate…it hadn't even slowed down…
Neji raised a brow. "Hm, I think I might if spun it too hard." he muttered to himself, looking around at the group of people. They all looked like zombies, not one of them blinking.
"Yeah…I think you did too." Tenten agreed.
After a few minutes, the bottle was still spinning at the same speed. The wait and suspense was killing each and every one of them.
Who was it going to land on? Who could it possible land on?
"It's now slowing down…" Naruto mumbled, not taking his eyes off the bottle. He was right. The bottle had been spinning the past ten minutes, and it hadn't even slowed down a little bit.
"Yeah," Sakura said. "…Should we just stop it?"
"That'd be cheating, wouldn't it?" Ino said, raising a brow.
"No one has to know…"
I'll know, and I won't allow it! There will be no cheating!
"Awww."
They sat there…still.
Man, this Writer's Block is KILLING me!
As the Author was trying to think of something to write, Choji finished up another bag of chips. He wasn't too worried about this turn. Besides, if it were to land on him, he wouldn't care. He would have a hard time finding a woman who's interests consist of food, wrestling, and pandas anyway…
Choji threw his chip bag away, and reached behind him. He felt around and noticed that he wasn't feeling anything…no chips..
His eyebrow twitched, and he turned his whole body around to look behind him…
Nothing.
No chips in sight.
Choji slowly turned around, and faced the rest of the group. They were all watching the bottle…STILL…not even blinking…But that had become the least of his problems. If Choji didn't have his minutely dose of chips…
What was he going to do?
Okay…Choji, it's…it's just chip, he thought, just…delicious, crunchy, barbeque…salty…mouth-watery…
He couldn't take it anymore…
And he did the worst thing possible…
Choji…
Ate…
…
…
…
….THE BOTTLE!
…Serious.
Choji stood up, gave a holler of sheer pain, grabbed the bottle…and ate it.
Everyone's face: O.O
As Choji chewed the glass, he began to bang his fists against his chest. Everyone slowly looked up at him, their eyes wide.
"RAWR!" Choji screamed, and stormed out of the house to find a bag of chips…
Everyone sat there in silence for a while.
"I…can't believe he did that." Shikamaru said.
"Me neither…" Ino agreed.
Neji sighed. "Well, now what do we do?" he asked.
"I guess we get another bottle and spin again." Asuma said. He glanced over a Neji. "And more lightly this time." he added.
Neji rolled his eyes. "Well, sorry."
"It's your fault. If you had spun it right, it would have landed on someone and we wouldn't be having this conversation, now would we?" Asuma said.
"Shut up, Asuma." Neji replied, aggravated.
"Jus' sayin'."
"Shhhh!"
"Now, you two." Tenten said. "This is fixable."
Sakura turned to Naruto. "Naruto, go get another bottle." she said.
Naruto frowned. "Sorry, that was my last one…"
"Then go find one."
"Why do I have to go find one! ?"
"It's your house!"
"But it's not my turn! Neji can go find one."
Neji shook his head. "I'm not leaving."
Naruto crossed his arms, showing that he wasn't leaving either. Sakura was about to hit him, when Shino stood up.
"I have a bottle." he said, pulling a bottle out of jacket, and handed it to Neji.
Neji accepted the bottle, then looked up at Shino, questioning. "Uh, thanks…Why'd you have a bottle in your jacket?" he asked.
"I have many unknown things in here."
"…Oh."
Shino then pulled something else out, and held it out in front of Lee. "Bowling ball?"
"BALL!" Lee exclaimed, and was about to grab it when Temari swatted his hand.
"Don't touch that, Lee." she whispered. "You don't know where it's been."
Lee took it anyway.
Neji put the bottle in the middle of the circle once more. "Alright, now that we've wasted about ten to twenty minutes of our lives, lets waste the rest."
And with that, he spun the bottle.
The tension then rose once more.
Spin…
Who was it going to land on?
Spin…
Who was getting married…?
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
Spin…
The bottle began to slow…
Spin…
…
.,..
Spin…
…
…
Spin…
…Stop.
Everyone's heart stopped, and their eyes followed to tip of the bottle to see that it had landed on…
…
…
…
…
…The one and only…
…
…
…
…Kurenai.
Everyone gave a quiet gasp, and stared at Kurenai. Kurenai could feel her head speed up, and her face heat up as she looked at the bottle.
It was pointing at HER!
Oh dear…
Kurenai looked at everyone staring at her. "Oh, no." she squeaked. "No, no, no, nooo…"
Neji sighed. "I'm sorry Kurenai…but you're getting married today." he told her.
"I don't want to play any more. I'll just lea-"
"Kurenai, you can't leave." Neji interrupted her, patting her shoulder.
Kurenai was still in shock as she shook her head. "Can't we just spin it again…?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer.
"Sorry, Sensei, but the rules say we can't. You can't back out." Shino told her, placing a hand on her other shoulder. He then pulled something out of his coat. "Tissue box?"
She shook her head at him, and turned to Neji. "I can't get MARRIED! I mean, I'm in love with Asuma!"
Asuma then stood up. "Yeah! She's in love with me! And we all know Neji's not just gonna let her marry me because that would just be to freakin' obvious!" he exclaimed.
Sadly, he's right…
"I'm sorry, Kurenai and Asuma, but, Kurenai, you have to do it…"
Kurenai bit her lip, trying to think. "I can get a divorce after wards, right?"
"Sure."
She sighed. "Alright, then go head."
Hmmm…Y'know, the most logical thing to do would be tell her to marry Asuma…seeing that they're in love and crap…but then would that be any fun?
Speaking of Asuma…
Asuma was in a panic. How could he convince Neji and the Author to let him marry Kurenai…?
…Unless he used bribery.
Asuma scooted closer to Neji, and slipped him a twenty.
Neji took it. "What's this?"
"Just…a little gift. Hint hint."
"I'm not choosing you to marry her."
"WHY NOT! ?"
"Because if I do, the author will yell at me!"
Asuma glared at Neji. "So what?"
Neji glared back. "SO…I don't want to get yelled at!"
Asuma then let out a pathetic laugh, and lifted his hands up. "Fine. Fine. I quit." he said, then turned to Kurenai. "Good-bye."
Kurenai stood up. "Asuma, wait-"
"I'm sorry my love! But I cannot stand this!"
"Asuma-"
"I must take my leave!"
"You're being ridiculous-"
"GOOD. BYE."
And with that, Asuma left.
Kurenai watched him leave, and gave a sad sigh. "Can we just get this over with?" she asked, grabbing one of the tissues out of Shino's tissue box and wiping her eyes.
Neji nodded, feeling sorry for the woman in front of him.
…And then a thought popped into his head. He knew exactly what he was going to do. And, yes, it was going to end in divorce.
…Just like 30 percent of marriages…
…Yeah…
…
…
…
Anywho…
Kurenai began to think of just how serious this was. She didn't want to get married! And if she had to get married, she wanted it to be to Asuma, not who ever Neji is about say! And she didn't ever want a divorce! She rubbed her temple, and felt to sorrow run over her. Maybe booze would help with this…Because…Booze solves…EVERYTHING…
Erm…
No, not really…
If anything, that's makes things worse…
Not that Kurenai really cared about that…
Kurenai looked at Neji, and frowned. "Alright, let's do this. But first, some one had better give me some sake." she said. Shino then reached into his jacket, and pulled out a huge bottle of sake, and handed it to her.
"Thank you." She busted it open, and took a huge gulp. "Alright, I'm ready."
Neji eyed the sake, and said, "Well, I have the person whom you are going to marry."
Kurenai took another gulp. "Just say it."
Neji took in a deep breath. "Kurenai…
I…
…
…
…
…Want you to marry-"
"OH NOOOOO! ! !" Kakashi interrupted. Neji turned and glared at him.
"Okay, really! ?" Neji exclaimed.
Kakashi then began to cry. "SHE CAN'T DO THIS!" he exclaimed. "SHE'S TOO YOUNG! SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT! THIS IS MADNESS!"
"No, this is Sparta." Lee mumbled
Ignoring that last comment, everyone glared at Kakashi. "Kakashi, I'm only a bit drunk, but I have to do this. And thank you for thinking I'm so young." Kurenai said.
Kakashi stopped glaring at her, and replied, "I wasn't talking about you! I was talking about Koko!" He then pointed at his pervy fanfics. Everyone fell over.
Kakashi held the fic to his body. "Oh, Koko, please don't marry Iruka! I'll treat you better then he ever could! DON'T YOU SEE YOU'RE THE ONLY WOMAN WHO COULD EVER CHANGE MY DEVILISH WAYS! ? !"
And with that, Kakashi returned to his fic.
Everyone shook their heads.
"Can I kill him?" Gaara asked.
"Sadly, no." Sakura said.
"Can I continue?" Neji asked.
"WAIT!" Kurenai took another gulp. "Alright, go!"
Cue dramatic music.
"Kurenai, the name I am about to say will become your future husband…" he started.
Everyone itched forward.
"Kurenai…
…
…
…
You…
…
…
…
…
…
Will be marrying…
…
…
…
…
…
…SASUKE!"
Le GASP!
Betcha didn't see that coming.
Or maybe you did.
Hm.
Kurenai was taking a drink of sake, only to spit it out as soon as the name was said.
"SASUKE? !" Kurenai screamed.
"Me?" Sasuke questioned.
"Sasuke?" Sakura and Ino gasped.
"Sas…uke?" Naruto mumbled.
"Uchiha?" Gaara asked.
"Sasuke-kun?" Tenten said.
"SASUKE!" the chibi's giggled.
Sasuke…?
"SASUKURE! ? !" Everyone yelled.
…Okay.
Kurenai looked at Sasuke, to Neji, to Sasuke, and back to Neji. "Are you insane! He's like…fifteen! I'm not fifteen! I'm not a pedophile!" she exclaimed.
"That's exactly what a pedophile would say…" Lee said, suspicious.
"Oh, Burn."
"Shut up, Lee!" Temari said, covering his mouth.
"Shut up, Naruto!" Sakura said, punching Naruto.
Neji shrugged. "Technically, this was the Authors idea. Talk to him."
HEY! Don't be blaming me for everything!
Sasuke then cleared his throat. "Um, guys we kind of have a problem…"
"Oh, let me guess," Neji started. "You can't marry Kurenai."
"How'd you know?",
"Lucky guess."
"Ah." Sasuke then stood you dramatically, and grabbed Kurenai's hand.
"Kurenai, you are a beautiful woman, but I am terrible sorry. I cannot let you accept my hand in marriage…for, you see, something happened while I was on tour…"
Oh, no…
Sasuke clutch his right hand and placed it over his chest. "Kurenai…
…
…
…
…I AM ALREADY MARRIED!"
Oh, geez.
"And there's the plot twist." Shikamaru mumbled, and Ino nodded in agreement.
Neji frowned. "What do you mean you're already married! ?" he asked.
Sasuke then held out his left hand, which held a ring on the wedding finger, and sighed.
"Well…this is how it happened…."
Flashb-
"Are we really going into a flashback for this?" Kankuro asked.
"Yep." Temari replied.
"Can't he just tell us what happened?"
"That wouldn't be as fun."
"…That's stupid."
Erm…Flashback.
"DON'T CHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS…HOTT LIKE ME! OH! OH! OH! YEAH! THANK YOU LAS VEGAS!" Sasuke sang as he walked off stage.
"Good job, ladies, you did good! Looked hott!" Sasuke said to the Pussy Cat Dolls.
"Love ya! Sorry, but I've gotta go! I'm gonna get a drink before I turn in!"
And with that Sasuke went to the outside bar…because there was a bar outside...yeah. Sasuke took a seat as all the fan girls ran up to him asking for his autograph. Sasuke told the chibi's to distract them so he could have some alone time, and it worked wonderfully.
"I'll just have some water." he told the bar tender. Once he received his glass of water, he took a sip and sighed. He missed home. Sure, it was great on tour and all; having all his fans throw their panties at him, partying at the raves, with all the booze, and PCD singing along with him...but believe it or not, Sasuke missed those losers who were know as Naruto and Sakura. Oh, and the pervy sensei. Believe it.
...But he missed one person most of all...his one and only love. Oh, how he missed her.
"WHADDA YA MEAN YOOOU DON'T SERVE SSSAKE! ?"
"Ma'm, I'm sorry but-"
"DAMMIT! DO YOU KNOOOOOW WHO I AAAAAM! ?"
Sasuke's head lifted at the sound of this woman's voice. He turned to see his one and only...true love...Drunk as can be...
Yeah...
"Listen, lady-"
"I'M THE FUCKING HOKAGE! AND THE HOOOOKAGE WANTS SOME SAKE!" Tsunade yelled, and began to beat up the bartender.
Sasuke still couldn't get over her beauty.
"Really...? This flashback sucks."
"Shhhh!"
...Erm...
Sasuke couldn't get over her beauty. He then stood up and walked over to the woman.
"Tsunade?" he whispered softly. Tsunade then stopped beating on the poor, almost dead bartender, and looked up at him.
"Orochimaru? Is that you?"
"Um, no-"
"DON'T CHOO LIE TO ME!" she exclaimed, jumping up.
"No, really! I'm not that long tongued freak!" Sasuke defended.
Tsunade then got all up in Sasuke's face, seeing for herself if it was her old team mate or not...it wasn't.
Obviously.
Tsunade hiccupped, and sat back down. "Yeah, you're not him." She ordered a sake, and she got one this time...because the bartender suddenly had some...unlike before.
Sasuke put his hands on both her shoulders. "Tsunade, do you remember who I am?"
"Orochimaru?"
"...No..."
"Oh..."
They sat there in silence, and it was too much for Sasuke to handle.
He snapped."TSUNADE! I THINK I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU!"
"That's what they always saaaaayyy..."
"I MEAN IT! I WANT...TO MARRY YOU!"
GASP!
"Oh, Jiriaya, you say the daaaarndest things."
"I'm not Jiriaya! OR Orochimaru!" Sasuke snapped. "I'm Sasuke, the man of your dreams!"
"The man...of my dreams...?"
"YES!"
"...But I'm going through menopause..."
"That doesn't matter to me! All that matters it that I have you!"
"...Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay."
"OKAY!"
And with that, Sasuke and Tsunade were married at a local Seven Eleven...because in Las Vegas, you can get married and/or divorced at a Seven Eleven. Yeah.
-End of Flashback-
Everyone stared at Sasuke, who had a dreamy look on his face from the flash back.
"Sasuke?" Naruto said.
"Hm?"
"...You're sick in the head."
"Huh?"
"That grandma is like...50!" Naruto exclaimed. "It's almost like if Jiraiya and Sakura hooked up!""Ewwwww." Everyone cringed at the frowned.
"AGE DOESN'T MATTER WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE!" Sasuke exclaimed.
"Bull crap."
"It doesn't!" Sasuke protested.
"YEAH!" the chibi's defended him as well.
Kurenai would feel her brain pulsating in her head, so she stood up. "What do we do now? I can't marry someone who's already married." she said.
Neji rubbed his temples. "I guess I gotta think of someone else." he mumbled.
"Take your time."
"Alright."
And so he did…
-One Hour Later-
Neji snapped his fingers. "I got it." he said. "It took awhile, but I got it!"
By this time, Kurenai had finished off the bottle of sake, and was a bit buzzed. She nudged Shino. "Got anymore booze?" she asked.
Shino shook his head, and reached into his jacket. "No, but I have fish sticks." he said, holding out a plate to Kurenai.
"Ohhh, yummy." she smiled, taking one.
"FOOD!" Naruto then glomped Shino and stole the fish sticks.
'NARUTO! Where are your manners! ?" Sakura exclaimed, pulling Naruto away.
Neji shook his head, and turned to Kurenai. "Are you ready?" he asked her.
Kurenai took a bite out of her fish stick, and replied, "Nope, but go ahead anyway."
Everyone stopped what they were doing and paid attention to Neji.
Neji took a deep breath. "Kurenai, I promise you that the man I've picked out is NOT married. Therefore, there will be no further interrupt-"
"WAIT!" Gai exclaimed. "Before you finish that sentence my youthful student, I need to use the restroom!"
…
…
…
"…Gaara?"
"Hm?"
"Kill him."
"SWEET!"
And then Gaara killed Gai-
WAIT! NO! NO! NO! NO CHARACTER DEATH!
"Awww."
Gai was then brought back to life.
"Whew! That was close!" Gai gasped as everyone glared at him.
Gai no lingered needed to use the restroom.
"This has been going on long enough!" Neji said. "From now on, who ever interrupts this turn will be killed-"
Neji…
"…Er…will be struck with lightning and lay unconscious for the rest of the story. Ka-Peesh?"
"Ka-Peesh." everyone agreed.
Kurenai finished her fish stick, and frowned. "So, Neji, who's my future man?"
"Kurenai…I have decided who you will be marrying…." Neji replied, and took a deep breath, "You will be marrying…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…Kakashi!"
…Gasp?
To be Continued…
-x-x-x-
Okay, this was suppose to be a WHOLE LOT LONGER but then it became too long! So, I've split it into two parts. Sorry about that. And I'm sorry for the delay.
So…what do you think? Please review and tell me what you thought. And, tune in next time to see what Kurenai and Kakashi's reactions are! And what about Sasuke and Tsunade? What will happen to their relationship?
NEXT TIME ON: Truth, Dare, Double Dare, Kiss, Tell, or Marriage!
Bye-Bye! REVIEW! :D