Abby's eyes grow to the size of saucers. She looks over at her partner in crime. He shakes his head.
"Abby, I told you this was a bad idea."
"You installed it," she reminds him.
"But it was all your idea. Where did you ever come up with that idea, anyway?"
"It just came to me."
"It just came to you? Really? One day you were sitting down here, in your lab, and you thought to yourself, gee, wouldn't it be a good idea to put a bug in the men's bathroom? Not just any bug. A bug that is wired into voice recognition software. Voice recognition software, that only reacts to Ziva's voice?"
"No," she shakes her head, "That's not how it happened. I was sitting at lunch. Some guy came out of the bathroom. I didn't mean to listen, but I did. I didn't hear the sink. He didn't wash his hands, which reminded me of Ziva."
"How?"
"She may have mentioned that every time she follows Tony into the bathroom, there is someone else in there. The someone else leaves, and doesn't wash his hands."
"And then you thought that you should install a bug, in the men's bathroom?"
"I just thought that I would like to know, what Tony, and Ziva discuss, when they go into the men's restroom."
"And then?"
"And then I decided that it would be morally reprehensible, to spy on them."
"Mostly because you didn't know how."
"And then you were droning on about a new, highly sophisticated voice recognition software."
"And two plus two equals four, which is how we got to where were are now?"
"Another ten?"
"I'd give it five seconds."
"You think that she'll shoot me?"
"You are the one who put your elbow on the keyboard. And you are the one who said it out loud."
"I know, I know. I broadcast it, to the whole world."
"No, just to me, and the men's bathroom."
She looks at the ground.
"Right, Abby?"
"I may have bugged a couple other bathrooms, and the men's locker room."
"Abby! What if there were people in there?"
"They will be extremely confused. I'm not the only one to blame, here."
"I didn't do anything."
"But you listened. It could be worse."
"How?"
"We could have installed camera's."
"Right," he nods.
"Timmy? Is there something that you want to tell me?"
"I may have installed a camera in the men's bathroom."
"Eew! Gross!"
"It is only activated, when the voice recognition software detects Ziva's voice."
"You mean, we could have been watching them, the whole time?"
"You like to listen. I like to watch."
"Is it live feed?"
"No it's a recorded feed."
"Is the sound enabled on the video?"
"Of course."
"Way to go, McGee," she smacks him on the back of the head.
"What's that for?"
"Now we there is evidence of our crime?"
"Do I want to know?" another voice joins the conversation.
They spin around. The looks on their faces, compare to kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
"Nope, nothing to know here," Abby answers too quickly.
"What are the two of you doing? Do you know where Tony and Ziva are?"
"No," McGee shakes his head.
"McGee, why aren't you in the squad room?"
"I got a text from Abby, she said it was urgent."
"And my other two agents?"
"No comment," Abby answers. She drags her fingers across her lips, to demonstrate that she's zipping them.
Gibbs gives them a look. "I want to see what the two of you are up to."
"I..." McGee chokes.
"Promise you won't be mad," Abby begs.
"Abby," he scolds.
She nods to McGee. He hits a few commands on the computer. Video pops up. Gibbs looks, and then quickly looks away.
"Take it down, I don't need to see that."
"See what?" Abby questions.
Gibbs points to the screen. Abby turns around, and looks at the video. She finds Tony, and Ziva, still in the bathroom.
"At least the sound is on mute," she mistakenly says.
"Sound? There's sound? The two of you knew about this?"
"Boss..." McGee calls after Gibbs, but it's too late. Gibbs boards the elevator, and rides up. The elevator door open, and he gets off. He storms towards the men's restroom. He stops at the door, and bangs on it.
Inside, Tony stops. He looks at Ziva. She looks at him, and smiles. She wipes the lip gloss off his face. She points to his tie. He attempts to re-tie it. He points to her hair, she steps past him, to look in the mirror. She pulls an elastic hair tie out of her pocket. She quickly collects it into a pony tail, trying to conceal the evidence.
Gibbs bangs on the door again. He huffs.
"I'll be out in a second," Tony responds.
"No, you're coming out now!" Gibbs replies, sternly, from the other side of the door.
Tony looks at Ziva, in horror. He shakes his head. "You don't think he knows what was about to..." he begins to whisper.
"No," she shakes her head, "How could he?" she replies in a hushed tone.
"I want the both of you, out here, now."
"I stand corrected," she answers.
"Crap," he takes a step towards the door. He takes a deep breath, and pulls it open.
"Both of you, out here, now!" he barks.
They exit the bathroom, like a pair of scolded puppies, with their tails between their legs.
"I don't think that the director would be happy, if he knew the two of you, were attempting to make porn, in the bathroom."
Tony furrows his brow. "What are you talking about?"
"I am good, but not that good. Abby has the bathroom under surveillance."
"What?"
"It must be voice activated, or something, at least, I hope."
"This is all on tape?"
"Apparently, there is audio, too."
"We can explain," Tony admits.
"I don't want to know. I can see what's in your pocket."
Tony looks down, in confusion. Gibbs shakes his head, and taps the box, in the breast pocket, of his shirt.