*This story is written as a companion piece to my story "Right Here", which you can find by clicking my username. You don't have to read that to understand the story but it couldn't hurt. The dialog is identical but this story is told from Ron's p.o.v. instead of Hermione's, so beware of language. JKR is all that is awesome.
"Hermione, I'm in love with you."
Holy shit; why the fuck did I just say that? For a second she has no reaction and then my knees go numb because she looks shocked. I decide that shocked is probably a reasonable response and that I should give her a second to think but my bloody mouth won't stop because I'm picturing her in that dress last summer. "I wanted to tell you ages ago, at Bill's wedding but…but I just didn't think it was right… because of Harry and Ginny. Does that make sense? God, I hope that makes sense." I wait, willing myself to shut up for a second. My lead feet want to shuffle toward her but it's no use.
"Really? You're in love with me? Then how, Ron? How could you leave me?" she says in a small voice. It's not a happy voice; it's confused. It's the voice that's searching for all the answers that I'm responsible for giving her.
I take a deep breath because there's no turning back now. I just hope that as it all spills out that it makes some sort of sense to her. "The locket told me things, things I was already thinking. I'm an idiot, Hermione," I remind her for good measure.
If she accepts all this then I'm a fucking lucky bastard. If not…well, she should have more than me anyway. "I've liked you for…ages and then bloody Viktor Krum wanted you too and it killed me. I knew I couldn't compete with him. He's so famous and just insanely rich. I felt like I shouldn't even try because…well, you deserve someone like that, Mione, someone who can give you everything. Then Ginny told me he kissed you and I lost it. That's the reason I snogged Lavender so much. I wasn't into her, and I feel awful about it but I was immature and jealous." I'm thinking of blonde hair and giggles smothering me and I can't believe how immature I had been with Lavender.
Just keep breathing and keep going. "I know the locket is no excuse but it made me so sure that you wanted to be with Harry instead of me." And there it is, that image of Hermione and Harry snogging, Harry's hands all over her, and Hermione moaning in pleasure. I try to shake it away. "I can't blame you of course, and something that night told me I shouldn't fight for you because you deserve a great guy like Harry, not some pathetic wanker like me. Why would anyone want to be with me when Harry Potter is right there?" I pointed to where Harry was probably sitting on watch.
She approached me, close enough to stick her finger in my chest repeatedly. "So you felt like you weren't good enough for me? Is that it? Guess what? I will decide who is good enough for me, Ron, not you! And regardless, you still shouldn't have left me, you know! You should have told me the truth, maybe asked me howI felt about you! Did you even think of that, Ron?"
Dammit, she's right, I should have asked her. And I did think about it, all the time in fact but I never thought…her gaze is aimed to kill and I answer. "Yeahhh," I began awkwardly, "but I was scared to death of what you'd say. I still am actually."
"Well, you're back to where you started then, aren't you?" She threw up her hands. "Except now you've walked out on me and I have to live with the fear that you might do it again." Her tears start to fall again and I try to wipe them but she moves away from me. She moves quickly, harshly and I feel like she is disgusted that I tried to touch her. I can't handle that feeling, and I won't let it be this way between us. I can't let her walk out of this tent with all of this hanging over us. I take a deep breath and grab her arm, pulling her around to me. I meet her bright, blue eyes for a split second before a lay my lips on top of hers.
A few seconds pass and she's not pushing against me so I decide to deepen the kiss. Her lips are exactly like I imagined them, soft and easy against mine. After hanging on for a few more selfish seconds I reluctantly pull back, still gripping her tightly, not sure if she'll try and leave again.
I look into her eyes and she's waiting for me to say something and I know I need to because she deserves more than a kiss I forced on her…even if it was bloody amazing.
I'm so aware of every inch of her that I'm touching. My fingers run over her cheek and my stomach and groin are right up against hers. But suddenly it's more than that, suddenly we're more than that and I know telling her the truth wasn't a mistake, even if she stays angry.
I speak again, slowly and softly. "Hermione, all I can say is that I wasn't in my right mind when I left. It's no excuse, I know… and I bloody hate myself for doing it. But I would die before ever leaving you again, and I mean it. Please know that." I search her eyes to see if I can gauge any of her thoughts but she either has none or far too many. I realize she's not ready to speak so I sigh, "I don't deserve your forgiveness and I don't expect it, but you had to know the truth and I had to tell you how I…really feel about you."
A moment passes and a stunning smile grows on her beautiful face and I almost fall to the floor in relief. "You're really in love with me?"
She's going to make me say it again? What if she doesn't love me back? Alright, Weasley, time to grow a pair. "I love you, Hermione. And, I bloody hope you feel something for me…" And then before I can grab and hold another agonizing breath she's kissing me again. Does this mean she loves me too? "Hermione?" I ask, desperate for an answer.
She laughs a bit and wraps her arms around my neck, "I love you too, Ron. I love you so much and I've wanted to tell you..." Thank Merlin! I can't believe Hermione Granger loves me! I let out the incredibly large breath I'd been holding as she reaches up to kiss my neck. I hope she doesn't feel me shaking. I'm so happy and relieved and in awe, and suddenly a realization washes over me, a new purpose for fighting this damned war. We shouldn't waste any more time. We should be together now. I lean in close to her and speak, "I want to be with you. I'll fightto be with you, I don't care what famous, rich bloke comes along next. If You-Know-Who himself were after you, I'd protect you. I want to be the one to make things right with you…if you'll let me."
She nods; even smiles a bit, but it's a sad smile. "I want all those things, Ron. I want to be with you but…I can't." Oh god, she can't? Is she in love with someone else? Just as I'm trying to figure out who the sonofabitch could be she continues, "We can't. You said that you didn't tell me how you felt at Bill's wedding because it wouldn't be fair to Harry. It still isn't fair. We would be starting this in front of him and he doesn't deserve to..."
"To see us happy?" I spring into her sentence, my words filled with too much angry sarcasm for this moment. I also add, 'To hell with Harry, then.' but I can't form the words.
"No! To feel sad, or left out, any more so than he already does." She adds, playing with my collar. I study her for a minute, trying to come up with any reason to counter with but there's none. I pull her closer to me and whisper, "You're right. God dammit, you're right."
And then her voice speaks quietly and even though it's sad it's got to be the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. "But I do love you…and I want to be with you, when all of this is over."
I roll my eyes up toward the tent's ceiling and say a silent prayer to the universe that we'll get to see that day. "I love you too and I promise as soon as this thing is finished I'm going to show you exactly how much." I mean it. I only hope I have the chance to.
The wind is picking up again over the tent, whipping the canvas back and forth. Hermione speaks over it, her voice overwhelmed with emotion. "Harry can't know. We have to promise to wait, no matter how long it takes. We wait until this is done. When I lift the silencing charm we are back to just being friends, alright?"
I place my hands around her face and try to sound reassuring even though her words have broken my heart. "It will be worth it, Hermione. I promise you it will be worth the wait." I see her hand come up, wand ready to lift that damned charm but I reach out and stop her. I have to stop her. I'm not ready yet. "One more for the road?" I say with as much charm as I can muster. She smiles and I take that as a yes and immediately press my lips to hers. I kiss her with as much feeling as I have because I have no idea when our next kiss will take place, if it will even be in this lifetime.
Somehow I manage to pull away then, because I know I need to put some space between us or I will literally not be able to let her go. I lead her back to her cot and tuck her in. I want to say something to let her know that even though things have just changed forever between us, things will always be the same. But all I can think to say is "I'll be right here if you need me," and I mean it.