A/N: Okay, so I've been hugely busy - I had this major Latin exam, and I had to practice for our musical at school, which we just found out is in SIX WEEKS! Also, I went to London for a week, and came back to find out that my computer has this virus and wouldn't give me Internet connection... grrr... and now, I have STREP! So, right now, my life is fan-freaking-tastic.

Okay, sorry, I just had my little meltdown there. I WILL update soon this time, so long as that annoyance they call reality doesn't come knocking on my door. Without further ado, I present you with Chapter Whatever-it-is.

"Mo, sweetie?" Lauren stepped tentatively into Maureen's hospital room.

"Hey, Laur," Maureen rasped.

"Hey. Uh, there's somebody I want you to meet."

"Okay." Lauren turned.

"C'mon," she told someone Maureen couldn't see. A woman stepped into Maureen's room, grasping Lauren's hand. She had a high blonde ponytail and gray eyes.

"You're Maureen!" The woman looked Maureen up and down, beaming.

"Yeah. Um, Mo, this is my little sister Claire." Lauren smiled.

"Hey," Maureen greeted.

"Hi hi!" squealed Claire, bounding over to Maureen's bed. "I'm Claire!"

"Nice to meet you, Claire."

"Really?" Claire grinned wider. "Thanks!"

"Claire's autistic. She's 19," Lauren explained, stroking Claire's hair fondly.

"So you're Mimi's age?" Maureen asked.

"Who's Mimi? I like her name!"

"I told you about Meems earlier, remember?" Lauren reminded.

"Oh, yeah! Mimi, Deemi, Keemi, Reeni..." Claire rambled off into rhyming.

Maureen smiled at the last one, which sounded like Collins' name for her, Reena.

"Do you like Skittles?" Claire asked suddenly, looking around the room. Lauren reached over and tugged gently on her sister's wavy blonde ponytail.

"Yeah, do you?" Maureen asked, but Claire seemed to have moved on.

"What stories do you have about the bohos?"

"Which one?"

Claire scrinched up her face, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Joanne."

Maureen paled, and Lauren said, "Claire, that's not the best choice."

"But you NEVER tell me about her!"

"Yeah, well, Mo won't either."

"I will," Maureen said, surprising herself. "I'll tell you about our commitment ceremony, if that's okay." She glanced over at Lauren, who was frowning, but continued. "Well, Joanne and I were celebrating, and I went over to get some champagne or something. The lady was pretty nice, so we started chatting, and she started talking about her boyfriend, Marcello, who was on a business trip to Puerto Rico. She told me that Marcello had given her the necklace she was wearing, so I leaned in to see it. Joanne saw this, and thought I was flirting and stuff, so she got annoyed. She asked what I was doing, and I told her we were just talking. She didn't believe me, so I said it again. She said, 'Maureen, please do not do this today.' I asked some guy to hold my glass, and I got up in her face. 'You know what, Miss Ivy League? I can't take much more of this,' I said. She looked shocked, but I was mad. 'This obsessive compulsive control-freak paranoia,' I told her. She was confused, so I gave examples of when she was being all up in my business. She got mad when I mentioned this club, and she reminded me that I was flirting with a woman in rubber. I told her, really loudly, ethat there will always be women in rubber flirting with me!"

"Give me a break!" Maureen felt everyone staring at her, but she didn't care. "Every single day I walk down the street I hear people say, 'Baby's so sweet.' Ever since puberty everybody stares at me - boys, girls, I can't help it, baby! So be kind and don't loose your mind - just remember that I'm your baby. Take me for what I am. Who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn, take me, baby! Or leave me." Maureen climbed onto the table, draping her jacket over the ice statue's shoulders, sneaking a look at her friend's, nearly laughing at Mimi's stunned face. "A tiger in a cage can never see the sun. This diva needs her stage, baby, let's have fun! You are the one I choose. Folks would KILL to fill your shoes! You know you love the limelight, too, now, baby. So be mine, and don't waste my time-" Maureen had run around the table, lifting her shirt slightly to bare her flat stomach. "-saying, 'Oh, honeybear, are you still my, my, my baby?' Take me for what I am! Who I was meant to be, and if you give a damn, take me, baby, or leave me." Joanne had gone up the stairs and looked back at Maureen, who was smirking slightly. "No way can I be what I'm not, but hey! Don't you want your girl hot?" Joanne had rolled her eyes at the sight of Maureen. "Don't fight! Don't lose your head!" Maureen crawled up the stairs to Joanne. "'Cuz every night, who's in your bed? Who?" Maureen pouted. "Kiss, Pookie." Joanne rolled her eyes again, pulling Maureen up.

"It won't work. I look before I leap. I love margins and disciplines. I make lists in my sleep. Baby, what's my sin? Never quit, I follow through. I hate mess, but I love you." Joanne ran her hand up Maureen's thigh as Maureen thought about the last statement, which seemed contradictory. "What's to do with my impromtu baby? So be wise, 'cuz this girl satisfies. You got a prize, so don't compromise!" Joanne threw off her jacket. Maureen caught it, folding in in her arms. "Take me for what I am!"

"A control freak," Maureen said.

"Who I was meant to be!"

"A snob, yet over-attentive!"

"And if you give a damn,"

"A lovable, droll geek!"

"Take me, baby, or leave me!"

"And anal retentive!" shouted Maureen, bitterly, following Joanne into the pool room.

"That's it!" they both cried.

"The straw that breaks my back!" Joanne said.

"I quit!" they said in unison.

"Unless you take it back..." Joanne said, but Maureen wasn't going to give in.

"Women!" they both scoffed.

"What is it about them?" Maureen asked.

"Can't live with them or without them! Take me for what I am! Who I was meant to be! And if you give a damn, take me, baby, or leave me. Take me, baby, or leave me!" they cried together. Maureen had somehow made her way over the pool table to get nose to nose with Joanne. She walked to the side of the table.

"Guess I'm leavin'!" they shouted, turning in different directions. Maureen raised one hand dramatically as she strode out of the room, past Mark, Mimi, Roger, and her parents.

"I'm gone!"

"It's okay, Mo," said Lauren, giving her ex-girlfriend a hug as the brunette started crying.

"Tell a happier story!" exclaimed Claire.

"Okay..." Maureen sniffled, leaning back. "Um, well, you guys saw my Over the Moon protest on TV? Well, after that, we all went to the Life. Benny was there, and he was with his girlfriend, Muffy's, dad, Mr. Grey. We wanted them to leave, so when Benny told us, and I quote, 'Bohemia, Bohemia's a fallacy in your head. This is Calcutta. Bohemia is dead,' we all started having a mock funeral. I jumped on the table and started dancing and stuff... but, anyway, Joanne, well, I kissed her, right in front on Mr. Grey. He looked stunned, so I'm all, 'Hey, mister! She's my sister!' And then later, he's like, 'Sisters?' and I smirked, and I'm like, 'We're close.' We ended the night there with all of us kissing, Collins and Angel, Mimi and Roger, me and Joanne, and honestly, I didn't see Mark, but he was probably making out with his camera. I don't know. There aren't really many happy stories to tell. I mean, Jo and I broke up every week."

"What about Collins?"

"Oh, he's cool. I remember this one time, when we were walking, and Collins sees this guy getting beaten up, and he's like, poor dude, so we go over and kick some bully butt, and then, they run away, finally, but not before pinching Collins' wallet. It was funny, 'cuz the only thing in his wallet was a picture of all of us - Ang, Meems, Jo, Rog, Marky, him, and me. Mark had some homeless guy take it, and so I promised the homeless guy that I'd protest for him, hence the Over the Moon thing. Anyway, we got the kid that was being bullied cleaned up, and Collins looked all surprised. Later, he told me that the kid we saved had bullied him in school. I was kinda surprised that he still helped the kid after that, but that's Collins for you. Heart of gold, just like Angel." Claire smiled.

"Well, Claire has to get home," said Lauren, giving Maureen's forehead a soft kiss. "I'll be right back, Maur."

"Bye, Maureen!" squealed Claire, skipping out of the room. Lauren lingered behind.

"Thanks, Mo. You're a good influence on her. She's never acted that normal before."

"She's a cute kid, Laur. Take care of her." Maureen hugged Lauren again, and the blonde flounced out. Lauren was on her way back to Maureen when her phone started to ring. She jammed her hand into her pocket, silently cursing herself for wearing Maureen's skin-tight jeans. There was no way she was getting that phone out of her pocket. She sprinted down the hallway, knowing only Maureen could get it out. It had stopped ringing by the time the brunette could wedge it out of the pocket, but Lauren still checked her latest missed call. It was from Joanne. Lauren brushed her lips against Maureen's forehead and moved away to call Joanne back.

"Hey, it's Lauren."

"Lauren?" came Joanne's panicked voice. "Ohmigod, um, I need you to get the doctor's to get Mo out of there and to the park across the street. Like, quick. I'd call her myself, but I can't talk to her now."

"Calm down. What's wrong?"

"It's Collins," was Joanne's weepy reply. "He's dead."

Dun dun dun... *cackles evilly*