Kate stared at the strange flesh exposed on his back . "Justin. What - what is that?"
His expression changed; his eyes closed and his shoulders slumped in defeat. But he quickly rallied and explained in a halting voice, "I - I have a skin condition. A rare genetic anomaly -"
She might have believed it, except he'd been too anxious to avoid the ER and the doctors. He'd practically crushed her phone with his need to stop her. She said quietly, "Justin. Don't lie to me."
He let out a breath. "I tried to keep you out. You need to turn around and walk out of here. Forget what you saw."
Which was oblique confirmation that she was right. Instead of leaving, though, she took a step closer to see better in the reflection. "It's skin," she realized. It was not human. It couldn't be human.
Her eyes met his. He'd always had such beautiful eyes. "Justin, what are you?" she asked in a whisper.
He looked away. "I can't," he refused. "I can't say. You already know too much. It's dangerous."
She narrowed her eyes at that blatant evasion. "No. You don't get to do that," she declared. "I married you. I loved you. And you've been lying to me -"
"I never lied to you," he responded defensively, moving back against the sink. "Not about anything important."
"And it's not important to mention you're not even human?" she exclaimed.
Flinching as if she'd hit him, he replied, "No! No, it's not! I live as one of you. All I've ever wanted is to live my life as a human. To build a life here. To have a family to love. To not be ... " he trailed off, eyes flickering with some deep emotion.
He sounded so sincere, so hurt, she could feel her anger slipping away. She asked, "To not be what?"
He took a moment to answer and had to swallow before admitting, "Alone."
She shook her head in confusion, not able to figure out what to do. This was nothing she knew what to do with. Leo would know- and suddenly all his games and movies seemed smarter than her law books. "You - you're from another planet? Seriously?"
Justin hesitated for a long time but since the truth was so obvious in the mirror, he didn't bother with a pretense. "Yes. I've been here, living in secret, trying to blend in. I can't let humans know what I am, and I'm a refugee from my own people."
He abruptly turned and threw up again. She had a glimpse of pale greenish fluid before he washed it down the drain. Then he splashed water on his face and stared at himself in the mirror "Sometimes I forget I wasn't born one of you," he murmured. "I know that must sound ridiculous, but it's true. Most of the time I don't think I'm different. It's been such a long time."
"How - how long?" she asked.
"Thirty years. We grafted the human skin on so it became a part of us - altered ourselves - intending a peaceful contact. Then... it all went to hell," he murmured and shook his head at the dark memory. He swayed, losing his balance, before he caught himself on the sink.
"Justin? Are you okay?"
"I'll heal," he said. He twisted a hand up his back to try to put the loose skin back.
Reflexively she reached out to help him. Her fingers touched that strange under-skin and flinched away. It was soft and slick and slightly ridged, and it did not feel human at all. "Oh god."
He turned quickly to put his back to the wall so she couldn't touch it. "Sorry. I - I'm sorry, Kate." He let out a sigh, looking pale and defeated. "You don't have to do anything. I'll take care of it."
She shook her head and laid a hand on the outer curve of his shoulder to caress down his arm lightly. He still felt like Justin to her fingers.
He shrugged her off. "Don't. You shouldn't."
His attempts to push her away were starting to annoy her. It was as if he expected her to be some delicate flower who would faint at the first sign of something strange. Even though it was obvious to her that, while Justin's claim of being born in San Mateo was a lie, the essential Justin-ness of him was intact. The fact that he was trying so hard to convince her otherwise confirmed it. "Are you still the Justin I ate lunch with an hour ago?" she asked.
His eyes were hurt, flicking toward her. "Yes."
She smiled and grabbed his hand between both of hers. He wasn't wearing his ring, and she rubbed the spot with her thumb. "Then why are you surprised I want to help you? You got hurt saving me. So unless touching you is ... poisonous or something weird, let me help."
"You shouldn't know about this," he insisted, looking rather adorably confused that she wasn't throwing things or trying to call in the army, or whatever scenario he'd built in his head.
"Too late for that. I already know," she pointed out. "Let me help."
His eyes flickered to the broken door, and he surrendered to the inevitable. "Okay. Put the skin back in place, and put gauze over it. It'll knit on its own."
"Really? No stitches? Cool." she asked, impressed. He sat on the toilet and turned away. She smoothed up his back, carefully and gently putting the torn flesh back where it was supposed to lay. He held himself still and tense, jaw tight as she worked, flinching as she touched the raw wound by accident while laying the gauze pads on top. The wound had mostly stopped bleeding, which helped.
He lasted until she taped the gauze edges, and then rose to puke up green stuff again. "Justin. That doesn't look good. You might have internal injuries."
"If it's more serious than I can heal on my own, there's nothing I can do about it," he answered calmly.
She was going to protest, but stopped. He was an alien, living in secret. Of course he couldn't go to the ER and have normal surgery. She hesitated, and asked, "But maybe you could find a doctor who could keep a secret?"
He shook his head before she finished. "No. Even if I thought a human doctor could help, I can't risk it. One word in the wrong place would get me killed. Hell, if it went too public, it might put the whole planet in danger."
He would be killed? The whole planet was in danger? She swallowed in dismay. Then she realized what else that meant, and her heart caught. "And yet, you stood in front of a car, knowing it was going to hit you. You risked everything to make sure I was all right."
"Of course I did," he answered as if it was an impossibility to think anything else. "No matter what you think about me now, my feelings are the same. I love you - I've always loved you. And I'm not going to stand by and watch you get killed to save myself."
"Justin..." she started to say, hand to her throat, unable to speak as her eyes prickled with heat.
He pretended not to notice, turning to rinse his mouth and grab a towel to dry his face. When he turned back to her, his expression was more guarded, but he looked better. "Thank you," he told her and looked tempted to kiss her before he thought better of it. "I - well, there are some things I have to do now to get ready to go."
"What?" she asked blankly. "Go where? Back to work?"
"No. To the bank; to HR at work to file for leave." He moved past her into the bedroom and took out a new set of more casual clothes. Stripping off the bloodied trousers, he grimaced and added, "And put these clothes in the incinerator."
She followed him, frowning. "What are you talking about? Where are you going?"
His expression was sad, as he put a foot into his clean khakis. "I have to leave. Justin Patrick's life is over; it's time to move on."
"What- what - no- Justin -" she stammered, unable to find the right words, so shocked by his. "You don't have to go."
"You know the truth," he said. "I tried to keep you out, but you wouldn't. So now I have to start again. Someplace far from here. And you -" he drew in a breath and said, "And you have to forget Justin Patrick ever existed."
"I can't do that," she refused. "No. Justin, you don't have to go. You're talking like you think I would tell. I would never tell anyone, I swear. And I'm the only one who knows."
He shook his head stubbornly and then said, with no little frustration, "It's not as if we're together anyway, and now you know you didn't even marry someone human. You should want me gone."
She wasn't sure what she wanted but she was sure she didn't want that. She'd never wanted that, not really. "No. You're the one who wants us to split up," she retorted.
His eyes widened in incredulity and he shook his head at her, hands frozen before fastening his pants. "What? You filed for divorce in the first place."
"We were barely seeing each other. And you didn't try to contest it."
"What was I supposed to do?" he demanded. "Fight to make you stay if you wanted out? How does that make sense? Besides, I know what I am, and I knew someday it would force an ending anyway."
"You were so sure I can't handle the truth?" she accused. "How can you think so little of me?"
"I'm not some illegal with a fake social security number, Kate. You have no idea what I really am," he said impatiently. He raised his hand between them, palm toward his face, and twitched his arm in a peculiar way. Like something out of a horror movie or a very large cat, each finger sprouted vicious-looking long nails. They were narrow and pointed, claws not nails.
She managed to keep from leaping backwards, but it was a close thing as her heart jumped to a much faster rhythm. But she knew she couldn't back down now, or she would lose him. Licking her lips, she raised her eyes back to his face. He looked grimly satisfied that he had shocked her. "What are you trying to do?" she asked softly. "Make me afraid of you? You stood in front of a car for me, I'm not going to believe you would ever hurt me."
"No, I'm trying to show you I'm not who you thought I was. I am a fake, and a monster," he told her with savage self-loathing, "and I should never have gotten involved with you in the first place. I knew it would end badly, I knew it - it always does," he finished bitterly.
"You are not a monster." To prove she believed it, she walked to him again and deliberately reached out for his clawed hand. He let her take it, not sheathing them, watching as she examined the hand and claws curiously. The claws had come out beneath his nails, an inch long and sharp. Then she put that palm against her cheek. "You are still Justin," she murmured. "I'm not afraid of you."
She felt as his hand twitched and the claws retracted, leaving his fingertips gentle on her skin. "You - you're crazy, you know that?" he asked, his voice breaking. "Any normal person would run screaming if their husband was an alien freak."
She smiled at him and teased, "Don't be silly. Now I understand why you're so strange sometimes. It explains a lot." She slid her hands around his waist, careful of the bandages, and laid her head on his bare chest. He held very still as if she was some wild animal he couldn't risk spooking. She could feel him breathing and when she concentrated, she could hear the beat of his heart under her ear. It was the same as it had always been - if it was different from a human's, she couldn't tell.
At first he didn't move and he didn't touch her back, but then his hand settled on her head, stroking her hair. "Kate. You can't pretend nothing's changed. You know the truth, and you can't take it back. I'm not human. I was born of a race that travels the stars, and underneath this adopted flesh is something a little closer to a reptile than a primate. My people are cold and orderly and I'm one of the few who learned how to feel love and empathy. I do try, even if sometimes I fail at it."
She heard the trace of hurt, from memories of old arguments and now understood why her calling him heartless had cut him so deeply. She caressed his sides and found she didn't care that the smooth skin wasn't the skin he'd been born in; it was familiar and she knew he felt her touch. "You have a belief in the system, Justin, but that doesn't mean you don't care about people. You do. I know that, even when I'm mad at you for not doing what I want. And you might be an alien, but you're not a heartless monster," she murmured. "You're a good man." Then she stopped and looked up, reconsidering her choice of words. "Is that insulting? It seems very ... human-ocentric."
He chuckled and his arms finally wrapped around her in a tight hug. "It's fine. That's what I want to be."
That didn't seem right to her. It was common for immigrants to try to shed all trace of where they'd been to assimilate, but she thought Julie's family had handled it better, not leaving all of Korea behind. It seemed like it should be true for outer space immigrants, too. "But... you don't have to live a lie, not when I know the truth. It must be hard on you," she frowned in sudden concern. "I mean, living in secret like that, every day. That stress. So if there's something, I don't know, some part of your culture you want to follow that you've kept from me, I want you to feel comfortable," she told him. "I want to learn about it. I want you to be... you."
She felt his breath on her hair and then he inhaled deeply, as if drawing her scent in. "I shouldn't," he said, but the temptation in his voice gave her hope. "I know I shouldn't. It's dangerous."
"Justin." She framed his face with both hands to angle it down to hers. "Trust me. I would never betray you. I think - I think this may be what we need to start over. And this time, we'll spend real time together, and we'll talk like real people do. I want to try."
He gave a sigh and then smiled. "I guess I can always run away later."
She chuckled. "That's the spirit." She tugged, drawing him down, and twined her arms around his neck. Their lips met, familiar as always, and the tingle passed right down to her toes. She'd never had anyone's touch make her feel all that his did - from the very first moment their lips had met, she'd wanted more. He at first seemed stunned that she would dare, before leaning into the kiss, and his hands slid down her hips to hold her tightly.
"My feelings haven't changed either. I still love you," she murmured, breaking apart to look into his eyes but keeping her hands on his shoulders. "And I don't want you to leave. Not for divorcing, not for alienness, not for anything. I want us to make it, Justin."
"Even if it's never worked before?" he asked, still wary.
"There's always a first time. And they weren't us." Smiling, she let her fingers rub the soft hairs at the nape of his neck. "So, how about we negotiate intergalactic peace, right here? Or at least a little private mediation?"
His smile was slow but full of wonder. "You are amazing," he whispered and bent to kiss her again.
Hearing that out of the mouth of someone who had been born on another planet and traveled between the stars made her grin, and she muttered against his lips, "You're pretty amazing yourself."
But then she was lost in his lips and the touch of his hands, and she decided only this moment, right now, mattered.
end.