A/N: This story is getting very succusesful! Thank you all for, once again, being by my side. This whole story has taken tool on everyone of you and me as well. I'm so glad that I decided to update and I'm returning to my natural routine. Which means updating it how I usually do. But like before I am going to take my time with the chapters. :3
Now with out further ado please read You're Not Alone. Hahaha.
Chapter Thirteen
"Let Love Bleed"
May 17, 2009
Today I managed to get through another day of therapy even though there was alot of screaming involved. But I got through.(Sortof)
It's been four months and I still have the erge to cut. Why did Julia leave me this way? Oh I know why...Because of me. Right? This whole situation has taken a very thin tool on my life. basically I've learned that the only thing you can do to get past the hurt is to stop pretending. And some rational part of me wants to. It's the only way. The only way I can stop the bleeding. The bleeding that is eternal inside of me. The one that I can't run from. Can't escape.
...Effortless...
My eyes converted off of the page. I couldn't read anymore. It was to painful. Eli's time in Crodane frightened me. Very badly. It made me scared to think of the possible things that could be going on there right now. Like is he getting the right help that he needs? Is this whole thing going to change him? So many things clouded my mind. I had no room to think, or even calm myself. I was indeed effortless.
I heard footsteps approaching the downfall staircase and I hurried and closed the journal. I placed it back to where it originally was. Then with a sprint-like run, scurried into the hallway.
When I thought I had made it intime CeCe was the person I clashed into. Her eyes were so strained and her hair was a mess. I remembered when my mother would come home like that. Every Friday she'd walk through our front door and have cuts and scrapes running along her arms, knees, body. The memory made me on the verge of crying and I just erased that I even thought of it. Stupid me.
"Sorry." She shook her head, sighning me that it was fine.
"It's okay. by the way..." She paused mid-sentanced and pointed to the Eli's door. CAUGHT! I clutched my night-gown fiercly and shrugged.
She did a weak smile and said, "I don't even want to know. Night Clare." And with that she entered her room. I got a glimpse of Bullfrog in his boxers (And I'm talking nothing but boxers) I giggled and reentered my room.
My bed sounded really good to me right now. I could just feel my body lying in it and sounding off into an unbreakable sleep. Mhmmmm.
I dug my way in and got comfortable. After everything that is happening. Rest is the best thing for me right now. Nothing but it.
.
.
.
.
.
The next morning, I had therapy. Yes. Isn't it spectacular. Just a couple more weeks of this and Clare was all mine. I loved the sound of that. I had already had gotten my clothes on and was just about to leave when Brook stopped me, pinned me to the door and open mouthed kissed my neck. Sending shrills down my back.
"You taste so good..." She said through a moan. I wanted to push her off so badly but this actually felt...good. So instead of pushing her away I pulled her closer to me. So that our bodies were so close to eachothers there was no way that google earth could fit inbetween. That's how tight it was.
We moved to the bed nearest to us and we plopped onto it. Her hands began to travel low below and that's when I stopped her.
"Brook..." I breathed. God damn she made me feel like a live wire. "You need to stop. Clare and I are compatable. We get eachother. This isn't gonna work out."
"I understand you more than her!" She screamed. I stood up and headed for the door, only to find Brook infront of it again and blocking my innocence.
"We are in here for...Some of the same reasons. Were so much more compatiable. Your just to blind."
"Brook-"
"No! Eli...You'll be out of here in what...A couple of weeks. I'm in here for an eternity. What Clare doesn't know won't hurt her."
This girl was crazy. I'm practiaclly betrothed to Clare. Were irrseperatble. Brook's an intruder. Besides I had other things to worry about. Like getting the hell out of this dump and protecting Clare for 'X'.
My green gems were now fixated on Brook. Afraid of what more she'd do to me.
So I pulled her hands off of the door handle and walked out into the hallway. The only thing I last heard coming from her was,
"YEAH! SEE YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT, E! YOUR TO AFRAID!" A smile corscaded my face and I laughed mentally.
On my way down to Dr. Greggory. More therapy sessions. Just what this loner needs. More pethetic and effortless help from a total idiot. The halls of Crodane were filled with miserable and downer people. Is this what I really am. This psycho? It made me scared to even think that. I never considered my self that low. But what we don't see is usually right infront. Awkward...But sooo true.
When I entered the familliar room, Her eyes darted to me and a smile that said Greatwhyareyouhereagain greeted me. I took the seat right infront of her. It captured every single part of her body and it made me huvver. Memories flashed back to me. Once that I once forgotten and put in that damn journal. The journal I sworn to never touch, see, or breathe.
"Mr. Goldsworthy, I see your...issues are back." She notified me. I tried not to roll my eyes so I mentally rolled them. Same old Mrs. Greggory I see. Always addressing my problems with hesitation. It made me sick to even think this woman could possibly help me. Hahaha. Pricless.
I slouched down in my chair and nodded.
"Now what seems to be the reason for your sensless cutting? Are you hurting inside?" Hell yeah.
"Uh...The usual. Afraid to do this...Yata, yata, yata..."
"Elijah." She warned. Her light brown hair moved in it's high ponytail as she shook her head with frusrtration...Towards me. "We here at Crodane don't think this is a matter to laugh at. You here? We don't want to send any 'patients' home who we haven't gotten through to...Yet. And apparently, we haven't gotten through to you. Must be why your sitting in the same spot you were in two years ago." She was really starting to piss me off.
"Would you just shut the hell up! You really think your all this great when the truth is the only thing your good at is stating the facts. Your a bunch of bit-"
"That's enough." She cut in. She averted her eyes to the manella folder just beneath her elbows and studied it carefully. I guessed the file was on me. (Der)
"Look can we just finnish this tomorrow when I'm in a better mood?" I suggested. Mrs. Greggory peered her eyes down toward me thorugh her glasses and a smile came on her face. A nodd greeted my eyes.
Now she's making sense.
"Fine. Better mood tomorrow..."She stacked the papers and folder together. "...I expect it." I stood at the symbol of leaving and walked into the mysterious hallways of Crodane. Joy jumping inside of me but my expression...Stone.
Like my old friend Adam used to say...
The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced.
(End of Chapter 13)
A/N: How do you like them apples? Haha! So i'm basically having a huge marathon of updating more of this little fanfic here that's putting excitment in my somewhat boring life. :3 so yeah...Um...I have a few things to say
1.) Adam's character in this like I said on one of my last A & N's that his character is gonna make you... I can't say no more on that subject. (Don't hurt me!)
2.) THIS IS IMPORTANT! YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION!
...Hi...lol
Review! Rate me! Love it! (Or hate it I don't care.)
P.S. Yes I do!
-Saphy :3