A/N: Yay! Continuation of Sam's leaving.

I'm a bit worried some of the dialogue might be a bit out of character, so please let me know if you think so too, and if you have any pointers, I would love to hear them.

As earlier; Your comments and reviews have been great so far, and I'd just love to hear what you think about this one =D

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or its characters or anything related to the series in any way, shape or form.

Chapter 5

Early October

She'd grabbed his vest and actually pulled him out of the car. He was surprised at her strength as she slammed him, in his opinion, a tad bit harder than necessary, into the side of the squad car.

"McNally." He said warily. "I don't think..."

"You. Be. Quiet." She said punctuating each word with a poke to his chest. Her left hand was still tightly gripping his vest.

"But..."

"How could you even think of not telling me?" She asked loudly.

"McNally." He tried again. "People are looking."

"I don't care. How could you not tell me?" Her voice was still in the too loud spectrum and they were starting to draw a crowd.

"Andy. People are looking. We're in uniform."

She went to say something but stopped herself and looked around. There were at least five people in near proximity to them, and the people in the diner were pressed up against the window. She looked back at Sam, her eyes were huge and she looked very embarrassed.

"Get in the car." She said through gritted teeth. As she let go of his vest he could see the color returning to her hand. She was really mad. He definitely should have told her as soon as he'd found out. But did she really have the right to be this upset? He didn't belong to her. They weren't together. She was with Callaghan. They were just friends. Now that he thought about it she had no right!

He slid into his seat, started the car and pulled out onto the road. Because the car was filled with the anger and the tension between them, they rode around for a while in silence. But after some time the silence got to him. His mind would keep replaying every time she'd chosen Callaghan over him, every time he'd been there for her when Callaghan wasn't. How he'd gone out of his way to patch her relationship back up every time she'd had a problem with it.

How could he have been such an idiot? He should have stopped caring a long time ago. Now his whole life revolved around only her, and her happiness decided if he was happy. He couldn't take it anymore. Maybe that was why he had said yes to go back undercover.

Of course he wanted to put Petrov away but he also needed distance. He couldn't stand seeing her in the arms of the tall blue-eyed poster boy anymore.

"You really have no right you know." Sam couldn't keep it in any longer.

"Right to what?" She snapped, her emotions seemingly still going a mile a minute.

"To be mad at me." He said using a whole lot of willpower to stay calm. Losing his temper while driving was not something that would help the situation.

"What? How can you even say that!"

"What's your reason?" He shot back quickly.

"I..."

He forced a cocky grin at her silence. "Cat got your tongue?"

She glared at him. "I'm mad because…" He could almost hear her mind working to figure out why. "I'm mad because you're leaving."

"But you knew I'd probably leave at some point. I told you that."

"Yes, but..." Her voice was calmer. He was happy that she'd been able to calm down somewhat and had activated her mind. This would be their last day together after all and leaving while she was furious with him wasn't really something he wanted.

"I don't know... I just didn't think it would be so soon. I thought maybe…" She fell silent and started rubbing her thigh as if trying to remove a non-existent crease.

"Maybe?"

She just sighed.

"You don't want to tell me?" He asked daring to look at her for the first time since they'd gotten back into the squad car. He had an inkling of where she was going, but he wanted to hear her say it.

"Yes... But no."

"Why?"

"You scare me."

"Well, you scare me too." He tried to say it jokingly, but he could tell that the sincerity of his words shone through.

"It's not like it is with Luke. That's easy. Well except for being ignored." She trailed off, apparently somewhat surprised by her own statement. "But he's not dangerous."

"I'm dangerous?"

"Of course you are! Look what you made me do!" Her words contained some anger, and he got somewhat nervous of her going off again, but he heard her take a deep breath and regain control. "You can hurt me so badly. You already have." She whispered

"I don't want to do that, but I have said yes. And if you put yourself in my position maybe you could understand?"

"And what position is that?" She asked before lowering her voice in an impression of him:

"I have a possibility to do this awesome bust that will make everyone see how excellent I am as a cop, even though they already know this. I get to do the kind of police work I love which involves putting myself in unnecessary danger to put away a bad guy. I get to leave all of my friends behind and play the part of the loner I want everyone to think I am." Her impression of him involved her putting on a serious, brooding expression and he had to try hard not to roll his eyes at her.

"Is that it? Cause I really don't see it. You're putting a case in front of the people you care about. Kinda remind you of someone?" She said in her normal voice. It was filled with frustration.

"That's a really low blow McNally. And you only got part of my position anyway." He had decided that Oliver's tip may not have been so bad after all. He was going to tell her.

"And the other part?" She questioned. The frustration was still heavy in her voice but it also had a hint of curiosity.

"The other part," He paused to get his thoughts in order. He decided to pull over to the sidewalk, but was not going to do the same mistake he'd made earlier that day of getting out. His seatbelt felt tighter and tighter on his chest so he unbuckled it, but the pressure didn't go away. –Great. He thought. –This is going to be hard.

"The other part..." He started again, but couldn't make himself continue.

His hand, which had been resting on his thigh suddenly felt warm, and as he looked down he saw her hand resting on top of his and for some reason the tightness in his chest dissipated. He glanced over at her and their eyes met. She gave him an encouraging smile before he turned back to look at their hands.

"Yes. I want to put this guy away. He's a horrible person. What he's done. And the kids... It makes me sick. So if I can help. I want to. Yes. I love working undercover. I love the danger, I love the adrenaline, and yes, I kind of enjoy the isolation. But I don't have anyone. No one special..." He looked at her and her expression showed some hurt. "…that is mine." Her look turned into one of slight acknowledgement.

"My other friends, I've been away from them before, and they were still there when I came back. They'll be okay. Now you… I…" He sighed heavily and she tightened her grip on his hand. "I… I care about you. A whole lot." He gave her a pointed look with his last words. "And as difficult as it is to leave you, it's even worse seeing you happy with someone else and even worse than that; seeing you unhappy with someone else. But you keep going back. I want you to be happy. But I can't watch it anymore. It's not good for me." Her grip on his hand loosened and a shiver went through him as the warmth of her hand disappeared. He just sat there frowning at his hand which now felt colder than he had ever felt before.

"You should have said this before." He looked over at her when he heard her meek statement.

"I probably should. But you know me. I'm not much for the talking game." He put on his best boyish grin, and felt a ton of weight leave his shoulders when the slightest smile tugged at her lips.

They made a silent agreement not to talk about it anymore and the rest of their shift went by slowly with them picking up a flasher in the park and doing the required paper work. Why anyone would walk around flashing people in October was beyond Sam, and the flasher seemed to be thankful of the warmth of the squad car once he'd gotten inside.

It wasn't long until Sam found himself in the locker room for the last time in a presumably long time.

"So, I'll see ya later then? You're coming to the Penny right?"

Sam found himself, for the second time that day, in a situation where he felt the need to lie to his friend. No one was really supposed to know he was going undercover until he actually had done so, but three people in his division already knew. Granted, one of the three was his staff sergeant, who would have known no matter what, but his partner, and particularly said partner's boyfriend should not have known. He cursed silently to himself as he debated whether to tell Ollie or not.

"Hey, Sam?" Oliver was using his concerned voice again. "You're really out of it today aren't you?"

"What?" Sam was pulled out of his internal debate, without really having been able to make a decision. "Yeah. A lot on my mind." Sam admitted as he bent to untie his boots.

"We'll talk about it at the Penny." Oliver said with a smile.

Sam looked over at him and gave a small nod. He must have looked extremely tired because Oliver's next words were "Or next week's poker game if you're not up for it today."

Sam just gave the same small nod and Oliver saw it as a hint to take his leave. "See ya." He said as he turned around and left Sam alone in the locker room.

Sam had removed one of his boots and was trying to pull the other one off his foot when she came in. She was wearing tight blue jeans and a plain green tank-top, and he could not ever remember her having been more beautiful.

"Hey." She carefully said in a strained whisper.

"Hey." He said still tugging at his boot, which for some reason did not want to come off his foot today.

She chuckled slightly and gestured to his foot. "I guess your shoes don't want you to leave them either."

He sighed and put his foot back on the floor, boot still on it. "I guess not."

"Here, let me help you." She said as she walked over and knelt in front of him.

"It's not. You don't have to." He said futile protest as she grabbed it. It easily slid off his foot.

"Now, why couldn't I do that?" He pouted deliberately.

"Aww. Poor Sammy can't even take his shoes off?" Andy said playfully as she stroked his hair like a mother would her son's to make him feel better. She then realized what she was doing and her cheeks darkened as she quickly withdrew her hand from his head, got up from her kneeling position and sat down next to him on the bench. "So, I guess this is it huh?"

"Yeah."

They both sighed heavily in unison which made both of them chuckle.

"How long will you be?"

"I don't really know. Need to get my informants in order you know? Takes time." Once again he felt the warmth of her hand on his, and all the trouble of that day, the past and the days to come seemed like they were long gone.

"Maybe I'll bust you again and get you off." She joked.

He gave her a look at her choice of words making her blush slightly. Then he chuckled and remembered the day they first met. "I'll do a better job of fighting you off next time."

She scoffed. "You wish. I'd tackle you easily any day."

"Yeah, you probably would." He said with a sad smile. He turned his hand over underneath hers so that their palms were facing. Then their fingers interlocked and they just sat there, both of them staring at their hands.

"Hey, Sammy!"

Their hands quickly separated and they jumped apart at the sound of Jerry's voice.

"What's up?" Sam asked as he got to his feet to meet Jerry at the door so that he wouldn't see Andy sitting in the men's locker room and start getting any ideas. But he wasn't quick enough. Sam was half way in between Andy and the door when Jerry entered.

"I was just checking to…" Jerry abruptly stopped talking when he saw that Sam wasn't alone. "Oh. Hey." He said with a sheepish smile in Andy's direction. He then turned to Sam. "I'm going to the Penny. How on earth are you not done changing yet?" He said thoughtfully. He then looked over at Andy, and back at Sam again. "Yeah. Uhm." He sighed, obviously not knowing what to make of the situation. "Yeah, Penny." He turned and walked out.

Sam just stood there wondering what had just happened inside Jerry's head.

"That was…" Andy searched for the right word. "Awkward. Definitely awkward."

Sam turned back towards her. "Yeah. Uhm. I should really just change and get going." He said as he started unbuttoning his uniform shirt and pulled it off. Without thought he made quick succession of his t-shirt as well and was in the midst of unbuckling his belt before he suddenly realized he was standing there half naked, and Andy hadn't left the room. He looked over at her to find her staring at his chest. When more than just a couple of seconds passed, and her gaze hadn't moved, he said. "See anything you like?"

Embarrassment crept over her face and she looked him in the eye. She then got up and slowly made her way over to him. He just stood there, unsure of what to do until she was inches from him. "I'm going to miss you." She said before she threw herself around his neck.