"Alex, can't we go home now? This place is creepy!"
"Harper, noooo! Not until we've talked to Frasier! I mean, duh! That is the whole reason I came here! I have to talk to him about Justin and Max! Especially Justin! He's
driving me crazy!"
Harper sighed and smiled dreamily as she clutched her hands to her heart.
"Oh... Justin's so cute; I can't imagine him being anything less than adorable!"
Alex rolled her eyes. "Oh he's less, all right. A lot less!"
Harper glanced at the blue sign on the side of the large building. "K-A-C-L..."
She read. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Alex laughed "I don't know, but maybe it stands for 'Kids Are Cool Losers!"
"Why would you want to get advice from someone who thinks you're a loser?" Harper asked.
Alex sighed irritably. "Not me! Justin and Max! Come on, Harper. Let's go find Frasier so we can get out of here! Mom and Dad will go through the roof when they find
out that I used magic to get us to Seattle and I'll probably be grounded for a year! But... if it gets Justin and Max off my back, it'll be totally worth it!"
They entered the building and walked down the hallway.
"Wow, this place is cool!" Harper exclaimed. "But are you sure that this Frasier person really lives here?"
"That's what Mister Doctor told me." Alex replied.
"Who?"
"Mister Doctor! The guy in that weird looking Starbucks! Café Ner-voos-whatever it's called."
"You mean the guy who cries?"
"Yeah, him."
"So Frasier is his brother?"
"I guess so."
"How'd they get such weird names?"
"Beats me. I guess I should be thankful that my parents gave me a normal name." Alex said.
Harper rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah... A girl named Alex. That's really normal!"
They continued to walk through the hallways. "You know, this place looks more like an office building than someone's house." Harper remarked.
"It's called eclectic." Alex said
"What the heck does that mean?" Harper asked.
"I have no idea." Alex replied. "But my mom says stuff like that all the time. Maybe it's Spanish. But then it would be e-clec-tico!"
"Whatever... Whoa! Those are some really weird looking people!" Harper said, glancing at the pictures on the wall.
Alex scoffed. "Yeah, I know. And I thought that my relatives were weird! Look at these names... Gil, Noel, Bulldog..."
"Someone callin' me?"
Alex and Harper turned to find themselves face to face with a short, stocky guy with barely any hair.
"Why would we call you?" Alex asked, looking at him with disgust.
At the sight of the two girls, the creepy guy grinned. "Well... you two are a little young for me, but I don't see anyone else around and-."
"Eww!" Alex said, backing away from him.
"Alex, what's going on?"
"Harper, don't you get it? He's trying to hit on us!" Alex said.
Harper made a fist and took the stance of a Kung Fu Warrior.
"Well, you'd better watch who you're dealing with because I can put up a pretty good fight, so back off, Mister!"
"Harper, he's not going to hit us! At least, I don't think so."
The man held up his hands and laughed. "Hey, no need to get violent! So... what are your names?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Alex said, smiling sweetly.
"Yeah, your name and your phone number!" The guy laughed.
"Bulldog!" came a booming voice.
They looked up to see a rotund man wearing a suit glaring at the man that was apparently named Bulldog.
Geez, Bulldog's mom must have been in a weird mood when she named him!
"Wow, your dad looks really mad!" Alex said.
"H-He sure does!" Harper said, clutching onto Alex in fear.
"What? Are you chicks' crazy? He's not my dad!" Bulldog yelled.
"Don't you have a show to do?" the rotund man asked; his hands on his hips. He did a double take when he saw Alex and Harper. "Hey! How did you kids get in here?"
"Um... well..."
"I'll give you five minutes to get out, or I'm calling your parents!"
"Oh no..." Harper said, turning white as a ghost. "W-we're sorry! We really are! W-we just..."
"It was my fault for being so harsh. I'm Kenny, the station manager." The rotund man said.
Angrily he turned to Bulldog. "You see what you've done? Now you have thirty seconds to get in there and do your show! I'm not paying you to broadcast a lot of dead
air! But first... apologize to the girls! They look terrified!"
"Oh... all right." Bulldog said, glancing sheepishly at Harper and Alex. "All right, um... look... I'm sorry if I freaked you out, okay?" He extended his hand, prompting
Harper and Alex to put their hands behind their backs.
"Okay... how about this?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out some dollar bills which he shoved into the slot of a nearby candy machine. Seconds later he
removed two chocolate bars and showed them to Alex and Harper.
"No hard feelings, okay?" he asked with a laugh.
"Oohhh no!" Harper said. "We can't take candy from strangers. Right, Alex?"
Slowly she moved toward the rotund man, using him as a shield.
"Come on, take it!" Bulldog yelled, thrusting the candy bars at the girls. "My bark is a lot worse than my bite!" He barked loudly, and then laughed, causing the girls to
scream and run down the hallway.
"Come on Harper, this way!" Alex yelled, trying to catch her breath.
They rounded the corner, shrieking when they almost collided with a distinguished looking man who wore a really nice suit.
"Dear God, I am sorry!" The man said. "I'm afraid that I was completely engrossed in my reading and wasn't watching where I was going. I'm terribly sorry if I scared
you. Are you two all right?"
Harper scoffed. "We will be as long as that Bulldog guy doesn't come after us again!"
The man laughed. "Ah yes... Well, Bulldog... He's been quite an addition to our family at KACL."
"His dad's totally weird too." Alex said.
The man's eyes narrowed in confusion. "His dad?"
Suddenly Alex recognized him. "Oh my God! You're Frasier!"
Frasier smiled. "That's Doctor, and thanks for listening."
"I'm Alex and this is my best friend, Harper."
Frasier extended his hand and smiled. "Well, it's always nice to meet a fan or two."
"Oh, we're not fans." Alex said.
"No way! Not at all!" Harper said proudly.
"I beg your pardon?" Frasier asked.
"Um... She means that we heard about you online." Alex said nervously.
"Oh... Well, I'm flattered that you were doing research about my work." Frasier said.
"Actually I was just looking for someone to talk to about my brothers." Alex said. "They're driving me crazy!"
Frasier looked at his watch. "Well, I have a few minutes. Why don't we go over here and talk?"
Alex nodded and followed him to a row of chairs in the corner of the hallway.
"So..." Frasier said when they sat down. "You said you were having trouble with your brothers."
Alex rolled her eyes. "Totally."
"Are these your older brothers or younger brothers?"
"I have one of each."
"Oh I see. Well whey don't you tell me what's bothering you? And remember... I'm listening."
"Yeah, whatever. Um, I have two brothers, Justin and Max. They're always bothering me and never leave me alone! Especially Justin, my older brother. He's the worst!
Whenever I ask him to help me, he just laughs at me and tells me how lame I am! I thought older brothers were supposed to help their little sisters! Not make fun of
them! Although I have to admit that making fun of him is a lot of fun!"
"I'm sure it is." Fraser said. "And I can certainly relate. I have a younger brother myself."
"Mister Doctor." Alex said, proud that she'd remembered the man's name.
"Come again?"
"Mister Doctor! Short guy, nice clothes. Really good at pretending to read, and even better at crying. Don't you know your own brother?"
"Well of course I know my own brother! Niles is... Dear God! Did you say he was crying?"
"Niles! That's his name! Yeah, he was totally crying! I couldn't believe it! I mean, my dad doesn't even cry in front of people!"
Frasier's expression turned serious. "Oh Lord. I knew he was hurting, but I had no idea it was so serious. I should have sensed it, though. First this fight with Daphne,
then his patient jeopardizing his career. Losing his place in our wine club. I simply must call him, so if you'll excuse me-."
"But what about my brothers?" Alex asked.
"Oh, right. Well, sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up. You are all going through changes and the road to adulthood is indeed a bumpy one. Conflicts are bound
to rise sooner or later. As much as I hate to admit it, there is still quite a bit of professional and personal competition between Niles and I, even as adults."
"But I still don't understand!" Alex whined.
"The key to successful relationships-at any age-is communication. It seems like you have a lot to work out between you and your brothers. Just try to open the lines of
communication and resolve the situation rationally."
"You mean, like talk to them?"
Frasier sighed. "Yes, Alex. Talk to them."
"But I can't just invite them into my room and talk! It's totally embarrassing!"
"How about going to a place that you all like, such as a favorite hang-out as my son likes to say?" Frasier asked.
"Um... Okay. I'll think about it. Thanks, Doctor Frasier!" Alex said.
"Anytime, Alex." Frasier replied.
Alex rose from the chair and dutifully shook Frasier's hand. "Oh and Doctor Frasier?"
"Yes?"
"Tell Niles that I'm sorry I ruined his life while trying to give him a perfect one and that I hope things are back to normal now."
"Alex!" Harper hissed from behind her. "You can't tell him that! Niles is supposed to have forgotten all about you! Remember?"
"I'll be sure and give him the message." Frasier said, giving Alex and Harper a weird look. "Nice meeting you both by the way."
"All right. You ready to go, Harper?" Alex asked when they were alone.
"Yeah. This place is too weird!" Harper said.
Alex looked around to make sure that no one was looking, and then twirled her wand over and over her head.
Seattle is nice and very savory but we prefer to be in Waverly... Place.
Suddenly Alex and Harper disappeared among a shower of glittery sparkles.