Mido stands in front of the entrance to the Deku Tree. As the three Links try to get around him, he moves and blocks their way.
Black: Okay, no biggie. Distract him, and I'll go take a rock, get behind him, and-
Mido: STOP!
Black: …Too late.
White: Mido, I know you enjoy being an ass, but we have to go see the Deku Tree.
Mido: WHAT? Deku Tree call YOU not ME? How this HAPPEN?
White: I don't know, stop yelling.
Mido: You no PASS if no have SWORD and SHIELD!
White: How come?
Mido: Too DANGEROUS without SWORD and SHIELD. Big scary MONSTERS and STUFF!
Navi: What kind of monsters?
Mido: Big PLANTS that SPIN around much!
Navi: …Screw you.
The four go up to the nearby shop.
Kokiri Girl: Hey! Talk to me!
White: Uh, sure. Hi, how's it going?
Kokiri Girl: Isn't that awesome? You're talking to me!
White: Yeah, that's just great.
Yellow: Whatcha doing up there, anyways?
Kokiri Girl: I climbed up here with a ladder, and now I can't get down, so I amuse myself by making people talk to me.
White: Well, okay then…
Kokiri Girl: Hey, any chance you could throw some food up here? Like a hot dog? Or maybe even a potato? …Man, no one ever listens to me…
The four enter the shop
Yellow: Hi, we'd like to buy three swords and three shields.
Storeowner: That will be *falls down, jumps up again* impossible, because *falls down, jumps up again* this store sells shields *falls down, jumps up again* but not swords!
Yellow: Oh, poo. How much do the shields cost?
Storeowner: 40 Rupees *falls down, jumps up again* each!
White: Okay, I have enough. * pays storeowner * But come on, you seriously don't sell swords?
Storeowner: Nope! * falls down*
White: What's in that room behind you that's labeled "the room that sells stuff that's actually useful"?
Storeowner: * jumps up again* Nothing! *falls down *
Black: Okay, distract him, and I'll take a rock and…
Navi: Shut up, Black! Listen, storeowner, you better open that door or… something bad will happen.
Storeowner: Nope! *falls down*
Navi: *sighs*Okay, fine, Black, we'll distract him. Hurry up.
Storeowner: Wait, you're *falls down, jumps up again* seriously going to do that?
Navi: I don't know, you wanna wait and find out?
Storeowner: Fine! * falls down, opens door behind him * We have bazookas for 5,000 Rupees, bottle of Advil for 4,200 Rupees, a hot dog for 3 Rupees, a sword for 300 Rupees, an industrial-strength condom for…
White: The swords! We'll take three! Here's 900 Rupees.
Storeowner: *jumps up again* All right, wait here, and *falls down, jumps up again*I'll go get it for you. *falls down, goes to the backroom *
Yellow: Hey, guys, you know what rhymes with Deku Tree?
Navi: What?
Storeowner: Here are the swords.
White: Awesome! Thanks!
Everyone leaves, except for Black
Black: So when you say "industrial strength", you mean like…
White: Black! Hurry up!
Black: Coming! *leaves*