Chapter 20

As I eat, B. is laughing at how I do not care that the plates chose what I eat and not me. So I decide to give her a shock and ask for a spice cake once more since I do love the spice cake. "Can I get that spice cake again?" I ask and B. was so shocked she nearly fell out of her seat. "See I do ask for things every now and then," I say laughing as she sitting up in her chair not sure what to think. "You do that on purpose! That was mean and I will get you back you do know that right," she said with a hint of evil in the tone of her voice. "Well I thought it would be funny to give you a shock and get a laugh out of it but do you worst I do not know what to expect from you yet so here is your one chance to get back at me," I tell her. After I ate, I was ready to go to bed as I got up B. asked, "Josh will you marry me?"

I did not know what to say for I do want to marry her but I am not sure if it is the right thing to do yet for we have only know each other for three months but I do wish that we could be married. "B. we have only known each other for three months. I am found of you it's just we do not know each other that well so no for now," I say. "Then good night," she said as she got up and left. "Good Night B." I call.

As I enter my room my two servants meet me and help me get ready for bed and I got in bed and sat there in bed thinking how I am not worthy of B. She never asks for anything but for me to marry her, she has given me so much, and I have yet to give her the one thing she wants from me. I get up and work on a song the very song that has been in my head since I decided to come here I know it is for her and I know how to end it now. I sit down and start to work on it and I do hope she can hear it so that it will help her it starts sad but turns into a lovely melody that is full of love and happiness and I do hope she realizes it is for her soon. I still need to know her name so I can name it after her. I am not sure but I believe it is Isabella and that means beautiful. She is a beautiful inside and she was once just as beautiful outside and will be again once I free her that is.

"Alice I do not how much longer I can remain hopeful. I do not think he will free me," I tell my sister. "Isabella Anna Beast do not lose faith. He will free you just give it some time," she tells me. "Alice do not call me by that name. I cannot stand it not now for I am a beast. And a beast does not need a name that means beauty," I tell her. "Do you think he cares about that? He has fallen for you even though you are a beast. So please just what for a bit longer and he will free just be patient," she is still so sure that Josh will free me. I do hope he will, for I have fallen for him and I do not care that he is not rich or a Lord or Duke, he is just a blacksmith and a carpenter.

I am sitting in my tearoom, I hear someone playing a piano, and I realize Josh is playing the song he has been working on since he got here. He has yet to finish. I hear it and I notice it is different that there are new parts and notes and it seems to me that it is better than ever I think he has finished it now. "Do you here that sister, I think he is working on a new song," she said. "It is not new but a song he has been working on it since he got here just has not been able to finish it but I think he has if finished it now," I tell here.

The next morning I get up and eat then go and walk around and find a great library and see B., is there reading a book. "Morning B. so this is where you stay most of the time then," I say as a joke. "Yes it is where I stay for there is little else to do here for me," she says. "Well have you tried to find anything else maybe the piano or paint or I do not know flower arranging. I do not know what else you could try for I do not know what the entire palace has to offer," I say. "Well it does offer what you said I should try I just never thought of them as ways to pass the time here, but I think I will try them now that you have reminded me of them," she said. "I finished that song last night. I could not sleep so I got up and worked on the song I just realized why I could not finish it I was not unsure of what to do. See most of my songs come to me when I am not sure of myself or what to do about something. Since I got here I was never unsure of myself so I could not finish it some of my best songs are form times I did not know what to do," I tell her. "So you do your best work when unsure of yourself?" she asks.

"Then how come you write songs for your sisters all the time? How is it the songs you write for them are great when you give them their songs," she asks before I get the chance to answer the question. "Well when I write songs for them I can tell what they will like and it is easier but for songs that have not been dedicated to any one yet it is harder for I do not know who it will be played for most and what they would like to hear," I tell her.

"I see so if the song is for someone you can get it done faster than when it is not for someone yet. And if you wright your best songs when you are unsure of yourself you write your best songs," she looks shocked and does not know think about me now. "I know it is strange but it is the way that works for me. I wish I could work on songs without being unsure of myself at times but for some reason I do not write good songs," I do not tell her that the only reason I finished the song was I realized it was for her. "So who is that song for it was very beautiful I heard it last night and I like it a lot. So do tell me who did you write it for?" she asks. "I have not yet fingered that out it just came to me so I worked on it. That happens sometimes and I can never tell who the song is for until I play it a few times in front of people and then it comes to me who it is for," I tell her. I do not wish for her to know it is for her until I free her. I have decided to agree to marry her in a month so that I can start to find a way for my family to meet her for the wedding. "You know I wish someone would write me a song like the ones you write for you sisters. They are lucky to have you do that for them I know they must miss you back home," she says. "I know they miss me but I think it is more for the laughter I bring them not the songs," I tell her.

"So you do not mind if your sisters laugh at you. Is that why you do not mind my laughter when you do something or say something that I find funny," she says. "Yes that and the fact that I do not think you have laughed in a long time. So you can use laughter more than I care about what people think of me," I say. "You are stranger than I thought you have pride but do not mind me laughing at you. You write songs but do not know for whom the song is for as you write it. You work for people even though you do not need to work. A man in the city likes you so much that he has given you two Great Horses as gifts and he would not even take some payment for them. You come to live here with me even though you know that you will not you may not ever leave here. Are you sure you are human? Because you sound more like an angel on this earth," she said. "Yes I am human not an angel. I like to help people and I like to work. Even though he did not take payment, I did send money to his stable with one of his stable hands to be left as a payment for some false job and I sent it with one I knew would do as I had asked and not take the money for his own," I tell her.

"You are strange Josh you pay for a gift and you know what that is not nice he wanted to give you a horse and you send payment for it," she says. "I did not send payment for Twilight Queen for he was giving her to me as a birthday gift and as a gift to my family for when we got to our new home we would have a horse to get to town fast if one of us needed to get to town fast that is," I told her. "So you sent payment for Storm Cloud who I might remind you was a gift as well," she said. "Not quite he was given to me since I was the only one that would take the time to bottle feed him for as long and as often as he needed to be," I told her. "So you did not see him as a gift but as him bringing him to you for you to raise then, I do not see how you do not see that the man gave you him for the fact that Twilight Queen would not last forever and he wanted to know you had a horse," she said.

"I know he had given me him so that when Twilight Queen passed I had a horse but I had already accepted her without pay I could not take Storm Cloud without pay as I had done with her. I know he will on day realize that I did pay him for Storm Cloud but it will be to late he would have already spent the money and I will not take the money back even if he had not spent it yet," I tell her. "You are a good man, Josh a very good man," she said. "No I was just raised to be fair and not paying Mr. Blake would not be far since he gave me Twilight Queen and I did not pay him I could not take Strom Cloud without paying as well. And I like to work and make new things with my hands so I work for Mr. Beast. I cannot let anyone give me things just because they want to if it is a gift for moving or my birthday but not just to give it to me," I tell her.

"You are something different Josh," B. said while shaking her head. "I thought we had already got passed that, and have we not already talked about this before?" I asked. "I believe we have but I just cannot get over how different you are from every man I have ever met," she says. "Why are you having a hard time with my being different it seems so strange that no matter many times I tell you about how I am so different you still cannot seem to believe it," I tell her. "It is because I have never met that will not take a gift that is just a gift. I never even thought someone could ever be as unselfish as you are see I have only met people that are not part of my family that are somewhat selfish. Even in my family there was something's that even we did that was selfish so you can see why I am not use to having someone as unselfish as you here now," she tells me.