Summary- Bill writes a book of poems. (Basically he takes a classic poem and twists it to make it as insane and messed up as possible.)
Disclaimers: I do not own Gravity Falls
Author's Notes: So my sister wanted me to write another book written by Bill and since you guys seemed to like the last one I thought I'd give it a shot. This first one Is Roses are Red... Bill Style hope you like it.
A Bloody Pine Tree Is Red
(By: Bill Cipher)
A bloody pine tree is red,
A choking shooting star is blue.
I'm going to rule this world someday Sixer,
So what should I do with you?
Peace And Quiet (By: Bill Cipher)
Turn it up please: can you scream A little louder?
The silence in my head grows more deafening by the hour!
I don't need rest, or even peace and tranquility.
What I need is a constant stimulation of excitement and hostility!
Don't ask my mind to relax and take a break.
What do you expect me to do? Just sit here bored to death and meditate?
I'm used to loud noise, and the pounding chaotic pace!
Of the madness that's became what was once The Human Race!
So feed me screams and explosions that take away my breath.
Give me a taste of anarchy and a double dose of death!
Give me a world where all the pine trees are burned to the ground.
Where shooting stars are no longer around!
Where shrine hat's and Six fingered people are banned from the town.
Please help me escape 'cause I don't wanna be…
hmmmm? I forgot where I was going with this?
Never mind just feed me a steady diet,
of chocolate and human soda; if you got it!
But please hold the peace and quiet!
Pigheaded Stan and know-it-all Ford (By: Bill Cipher)
Pigheaded Stan was an obstinate fool,
And his brother, know-it-all Ford was such a tool.
They always argued no matter the topic,
shedding their opinions with an outrageous amount of drool,
And anger that bordered psychotic.
Most folks ignored Pigheaded Stan,
While others called know-it-all Ford a jerk
And shrugged off their need to be right,
Until on one night Stan drove Ford berserk,
Who challenged Stan to a fight.
Now Stan was a boxer when he was much younger,
And knew how to throw a good punch.
Outside where he dragged the poor twit with his anger,
Where Ford's incisors soon went crunch.
Needless to say Stan got real nervous when Ford called the coppers,
And shortly a lawsuit ensued.
For Stan had no money to buy Ford new choppers,
And Judge Alfredo was shrewd.
And sentenced the boxer to ten months of labor inside Ford house day and night.
Where Ford had to listen to his brother's rubbish and blather,
much to Bill Cipher's delight!
(Story Mode)
Bill cipher sighed deeply,
the urge to reach out and touch his little sapling was almost unbearable!
Pine Tree had his face buried in some book...AS ALWAYS!
'He should be looking at me! NOT SOME STUPID BOOK!'
If he reached out his hand he could brush the kid's messy hair out of his face...That's how close he was!
And Pine Tree had no idea that he was floating, invisible, right in front of him.
'One of these days I will take you away from them, you will be mine and mine alone. And you will be mine forever, and one day you will forget them all! YOU WILL KNOW ONLY ME!'
Bill sighed at the thought and then it hit him.
'I should write a poem for my dear Pine Tree!'
with that thought still fresh on his mind Bill opened his book of poems to a blank page and
began to write...
I AM (By: Bill Cipher)
I am the darkness which will always remain,
who follows your footsteps and whispers your name.
My little Pine Tree I linger behind you, a reminder, a refrain,
who sings you sweet nothing, as you play all of my games.
I move with all of your gestures and mirrors your soul,
I am your gray side, the blackness, the coal.
I live without substance and burn without fire,
I am your truth, your mimic, and liar.
I chase you without running, I follow your lead,
I'm always behind you sapling.
I am the darkness you bleed.
I'm not going to leave you; you are mine till you die.
I'm your nothing, your everything, a flicker, a sigh.
so run if you will, but I'll always be near.
I'll follow you always,
your echo, your darkness,
your shadow, your fear.
I am your Everything Pine Tree, my dear.
(Story Mode)
Bill sighed once more and lazily stuffed his book back in his Pocket? (Did demons have pockets?)
Oh how he wished he could watch his Pine Tree all day, but of course he had a kingdom to reclaim.
"Soon my Pine Tree." he whispered and floated away.
Completely unaware of the fact that his book of poems had just fallen out of his pocket and
onto the floor...
Right in front of his Pine Tree!
(Story Mode)
'I'm so bored!' Dipper thought with a groan as he threw his novel across the room. 'I wish I had something to do.' Dipper looks around the room and notices a small book on the floor. 'Hey what's this.' he picks it up and reads the cover. "A Book of Insane Poems By: Bill Cipher-" Dipper can't help but laugh 'Bill writes poetry, oh this I got to see!' He looks around to make sure he's alone before he opens it, but once he begins to read he soon regrets it.
'Seriously Bill!' He threw the book in a silent fit of rage; it might as well have been a murder book of his family. And the last one, ...well, Dipper shivered. He didn't even want to know what the last one was about! 'Someone should teach that triangle jerk a lesson' he thought.
Suddenly a sly smile found its way onto his face. he picked up the book, pulled out one of his chewed-up pins and began to write.
'And I know just how to do it!'
(Later That Day!)
'Hmmm I think I'll write another poem today.' Bill thought to himself and reached into his pocket for his book of poems.
it wasn't there!
'But where could it have gone; I haven't been anywhere but...PINE TREE!' Bill snapped his fingers and was upstairs in minutes where he soon found his book lying on the floor. Bill picks it up and sighs in relief. 'Woo wee for a minute there I thought I was going to have to skin the bark off a certain Pine-' He freezes as he realizes his bookmarker has been moved a page ahead, he opens it and reads:
"All Pines Go To Heaven" (By: Dipper Pines)
All the Pines go to heaven (or so I've been told).
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a Pines family delight?
Why, because there's not a single Dorito in sight-"
(Story Mode)
Bill turns a dark shade of crimson as the book is engulfed in blue Flames "PINE TREEEEEEEEEE!"
Chapter End Notes
IDK why Bill is suddenly into poetry or why he is slowly getting a little stocker-y when it comes to Pine Tree. But hey who cares, it's just something you guys are supposed to laugh at.
The next Part will be up soon!
Anyways thanks for reading, and as always I ask you to leave a comment.
With that said,
This is Emily signing off... :)