["And I can stop running…. I can finally stop running. Life will be boring, so boring…..

And I'll never have to run again."]

Tears trickled down my face as I stared up at the ceiling; I was presently laying on my back over top of my bed covers. Everything hurt, every inch of skin, every organ, every cell and fibre of my very being. It was like a red-hot knife was repeatedly plunged into my heart, carving up and down to my stomach and lower abdomen. The pain was so unbearable, it was almost impossible to breathe….. I hadn't felt this way since the day they delivered the telegram of Father's departure.

Why….? Why did it have to turn out this way? For so long I dreamed of going to Westalis and reuniting with Father finally. I hadn't expected our lives to be grand or exciting over there; the exact opposite in fact. Life would be boring, and I was content with that. Boring but peaceful and free…. And we'd be together- him, Mr. Henderson, Raul, and I.

But I never thought in a million years that leaving Berlint would be this torturous. I never thought I'd actually dread going…. That anything or anyone would compel me to stay here. I was so sick of running- always constantly running towards my goal, which forever seemed just out of reach. And now that it was in my grasp, I was so sad…. For the first time ever, my hand hesitated to reach it….. To reach for it. God, what's happened to me? How could I have changed so much in the course in a couple of months? Was I really so different now? Had he… made me so different? A few lost tears trickled down the sides of my cheeks as I closed my eyes, resting the back of my hand on my forehead. My eyes shut and my breathing lightened. What's wrong with me? I've been running for so long now….. How can it be this agonizing when I'm so close? I wish…. I wish…..

"Anya," not realizing I'd drifted off into a state of half-sleep, my mind began to hallucinate, hear voices that weren't there. I knew on a subconscious level that I was still alone in that room and this was all my head, but I was too mentally drained to fully regain consciousness. I simply re-opened my eyes to roll onto my side where the voice was coming from. That beloved, precious voice I hadn't heard in so long.

A tender, sleepy smile bloomed across my lips when I saw Father, or his image, standing off at the other side of the room opposite my bed. He looked just as I remembered him; hadn't aged a day. I'm sure that's not what he was really like now, but it's how I envisioned him these last fourteen years. His voice still sounded the same too….. His gentle, fatherly gaze lowered onto me fondly.

"Don't you worry, Father…. I'll be there soon," I muttered in a dazed whisper. That's when his warm smile began to fade; his shoulders relaxing slightly. I too lost my grin at this, seeing his saddened expression. "What's wrong?" "Always remember, Anya, how precious you are to me. You are my beloved daughter- the one thing in this world I truly cherish, and you'll never know….. how much I love you." Those words…. I remember them; I've heard them before. He's told me them before…. My eyes softened a tad as I absorbed his presence so near me, even if it was merely a fantasy of my own making. My head pressed down a bit more into the blanket underneath me. "Yes, I know, Father…. I've always known," a sigh escaped my lips.

"What makes you think your father is still alive over there?" Another voice made me suddenly blink over to the desk chair, where a vision of Mr. Henderson was sitting. His back was straight and he had his hands clasped together on his lap. "Mr. Henderson?" I was a bit more surprised to see him than Father, who was still in the room with us and watching me endearingly. My guardian lowered his head a sliver. "You must understand how hard this is for me. You are like a granddaughter to me, Anya. I can't stand the thought of losing you either…." I remember this too…. Him staying this. My head lifted up so I could give him a reassuring glance. "You're not going to lose me. Father and I will do everything in our power to smuggle you across the border once I'm there." His eyes lowered onto me from behind his monocle. "You deserve this…. It is time; you deserve to go find him, as much as Loid deserves to be found." "Mr. Henderson…." "I'm just so incredibly thankful… Westalis is not like Ostania. Your life will be different over there, and I'm so happy for you….."

"He's right, miss," my head next turned to see Raul propped up against the door, arms folded and grinning back my way. "Raul? You're here too?" He flashed me such an amorous expression. "I knew you were nice, but I didn't know you were kind…." "Are you saying that because I want to bring you to Westalis too?" He shook his head soundly before giving me another loving smile. "You'll dodge the draft for wartime factory workers and nurses…. And you'll finally be free." Mr. Henderson nodded in agreement. "I am happy, Anya. I want you to be reunited with your most beloved father. And I want you to live somewhere you can be free."

I grinned back at them a little before lowering my eyes to peer down at the covers in misery. "I'll be free…. But I'm still so sad. I feel so broken-hearted…. So broken. I never suspected I'd be leaving in such a state…" Mr. Henderson's gaze stiffened questionably. "The youngest? Mr. Desmond's second son?" My lips parted a sliver reluctantly. "You were right, sir. He'd developed….. a strong regard for me." Raul's head tilted upwards a tad. "What is it you have? What is that something you have….. That's making him so soft and human?" "I think it's him who's making me more human. I never saw myself as "romantic" before; I never imagined what it would be like to fall in love….." I paused here to lower my eyes in a tender fashion. "But it was so easy….. so effortless with him. I'd grown to love him… before I even knew it was happening." Raul's shoulders straightened up thoughtfully. "You're allowed to want things for yourself, besides freedom. Loving another person doesn't require a total sacrifice on your end." Yes, I remember this….. "Raul…." My eyes started to drift up in his direction. He met my glance with another warm, deep smile. "You want to be with him. That's enough of a reason, isn't it?"

Before I could answer, a fourth male voice sounded inside the room. Slowly- very slowly- my head spun back around over to the window, which was open so to let a warm summer breeze bring in little pink cherry blossom. I saw him and my heart immediately skipped a beat- several beats. "That's when I started experiencing it….. Something I've never known….. Happiness….. I'm happy, we're happy... Happy together."

"M-Master Desmond," I gasped, releasing the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. His eyes immediately locked onto mine, adoringly so….. "You once asked me…. if I had developed a regard for you." "Master Desmond….." I repeated his name, savouring its taste in my mouth. He took a step towards me, followed by another, then another. His eyes didn't move off me the entire time; each step was quick and resolute. His arms were stiff at his sides, not even swaying a little bit. "And you already know….. how precious you are to me." Tears fell down my face as he approached me. Ever so gently, he took both of my cheeks in his hands, press his palms into the sides of my face. I could hear him breathe… hear him sigh. His head leaned in closer to mine as he exhaled so passionately. "Precious... So precious. You are so precious to me." "I-I love you….. I love you, Master Desmond," weeping uncontrollably now, I shut my eyes and lifted my hands up to press overtop of his. He breathed so tenderly again. "I love you… so much."

My eyes winced in sudden pain upon hearing this. My lips pressed tight together; they were trembling so hard. "But I have to go to Westalis in less than two days…. We may never see each other again." And Damian sighed, closing his own eyes. Both our eyes were shut when his forehead leaned in to rest against mine. "Fool…..

How can I think about that now?"