Many thanks to my betas, MsAmbrosia and Browns. I adore them and you should too.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

BPOV

I took my time getting dressed. I didn't feel the need to rush out there for more Emmett-style embarrassment.

When I couldn't put it off any longer, I exited the bathroom and made my way up the hallway to the living room. Edward was standing in the kitchen, his back to me, working over something on the stove. Emmett was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey," I said softly as I came up behind him.

Edward spun around, a fork in his hand. "Hey yourself."

He leaned over and tried to give me a kiss on the lips, but I turned my head so his mouth landed on my cheek instead. He looked confused and a little hurt.

I smiled and tapped my mouth. "Morning breath."

The corner of his eyes crinkled as he smiled. "There's an extra toothbrush in my bathroom. Toothpaste is in the drawer under the sink; the toothbrush should be in there too. It's the second door on the left." He emphasized the directions to his room and I rolled my eyes.

"That information would've been helpful last night when you dumped my butt on the floor."

Edward immediately looked contrite. "Oh babe, I'm sorry. I was just so comfortable and next thing I knew, I was out. It takes an army to wake me up once I'm asleep."

"Yeah, I noticed." He still looked upset so I squeezed his arm. "I'll be right back."

Edward's bathroom was huge, with a large tub and shower stall and two side-by-side sinks that were so far apart they weren't really side-by-side at all. I found the toothbrush and toothpaste without a problem, impressed with how clean and organized his bathroom was.

He is definitely one of a kind.

There was still no sign of Emmett when I got back to the kitchen; Edward was plating up some eggs, bacon and toast for us.

"That smells great." I smiled at him as he handed me a dish. I began to sit down at the counter where there were two bar stools, but Edward motioned me over to the dining area on the far side of the living room. It had a beautiful view of Puget Sound.

"This is gorgeous." I breathed, as I sat down and took in the sight before me. A ferry was shuttling over from Bainbridge Island and the sun was bright on the horizon.

We sat eating in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the food and the view. I kept glancing at Edward and found him looking back at me every time with a sweet smile on his face.

We had finished most of what was on our plates when suddenly he stopped eating and put his fork down. I looked at him, puzzled.

"Are we okay? After last night, I mean? Are you okay with everything I told you?" Edward ran a hand through his hair, letting me know he was definitely nervous. He wouldn't meet my gaze.

I put down my own fork and reached over to pull his hand off his head. "Hey, look at me." I tugged at his arm until he did. His eyes looked so sad.

"We're good. We're better than good – we're great. I won't lie and tell you that some of what you told me last night didn't bothered me…a bit. But, I also realized something."

I paused, biting my lip, because now I was nervous. Taking a deep breath, I continued.

"There's something about you that makes me feel things I never felt with anyone else. I trust you on a level I trust few others. I feel…connected to you in a way I never could've imagined. I don't know where this is going, but it feels like it could go somewhere really good – really, really good. And I want to explore that and see if I'm right….if you're okay with it."

Edward gave me the biggest smile I'd ever seen. He stood up, and walked over to my chair, pulling me up out of it. One hand reached up and traced down my cheek while the other wrapped around my waist.

"I am definitely okay with that," he whispered, before leaning down and giving me a kiss that left me breathless.

We parted a few moments later when I heard a loud wolf whistle nearby.

I'm going to have to ask Edward if he'd be willing to move out of state, otherwise my face is going to be permanently red.

Emmett was standing behind their couch, arms crossed over his uniformed chest, cheesy grin on his face.

"Awww, look at the love birds. I hope you know what you're giving up by choosing him, Bella." Emmett did some sort of weird pelvic thrust and hip shimmy. I buried my face in Edward's chest, groaning while Edward laughed.

"Oh Em, lay off. She's not used to having you around so much; you have to ease her in to your crazy ass ways." Edward kissed the top of my head and let me go. He turned and picked our dishes up off the table and walked them over to the kitchen, cleaning up.

Emmett vaulted over the couch, ignoring Edward's yell and was at my side before I could blink. "You're not really mad at me are you?"

He looked like such a sad, little puppy that I couldn't help but laugh. "No, Emmett, I'm not mad at you. You're a pain in the butt, but I still like you…kinda."

He punched my shoulder gently and said, "Good. Now I have more time to work on other ways to make you blush. If you were mad at me, I'd have to chillax on that for awhile."

I rolled my eyes at him and rubbed my shoulder where he punched me. Dude's way stronger than he thinks!

Emmett's smile fell. "Um, Bells, I do want to apologize for last night…. I had no idea you were in my room. I was fucking beat after work and wasn't paying attention when I crawled into bed. I was out as soon as I hit the damn pillow."

I was amazed. Emmett's actually squirming!

He looked even more uncomfortable when I said nothing. "Well, you know, I just didn't want you to think I'd take advantage of you like that. You know, 'cause that's just not cool. I mean, not that you're not cool, but I wouldn't do that to my little brother, ya know? Fuck, Rosie would kick my ass. Shit, Bella, you know what I'm saying, right?"

I let him flounder for a few more seconds before taking pity on him.

"Emmett, it's fine. We're good. Mistakes happen."

Once he realized he was off the hook, he relaxed. Grinning, he pounded me on the shoulder once more before moving toward the front door. He grabbed a jacket and called out, "I'm off to save Seattle from dirt bags and drug dealers! Peace out, my peeps!" And then he was gone.

I looked over at Edward. "Is he always like that?"

Edward shrugged, still washing dishes. "Usually. You get used to it after awhile."

I moved to his side, picking up a dishtowel to dry the dishes that he finished washing. We worked in a comfortable silence until everything was clean. When we were done, he took my hand and pulled me over to the couch.

Settling into the comfy cushions together, Edward pulled me onto his lap. We didn't talk for a while, preferring to just smile and stare at each other in between long, lingering kisses.

"So, Ms. Swan, what's on your agenda for the weekend?" He asked, stroking my cheek with his finger.

"Probably just working on stuff for my classes, making sure I have everything in place," I shrugged. "What about you?"

"Well, I was hoping that I could get this incredibly gorgeous woman I know to go out with me again. Maybe spend the night with me this time, rather than in my brother's bed."

I raised my eyebrows. "Somehow I don't think Emmett's going to be okay with you asking Rosalie out…." I started laughing as Edward began tickling me.

"Uncle! Uncle!" I cried, tears in my eyes, as Edward's fingers tickled over my stomach and my ribs.

He stopped as soon as the first "uncle" left my lips and he was grinning like a goofy little boy while I tried to catch my breath.

"Not….fair…" I gasped out, pulling myself off his lap.

Edward snickered. "Sorry, but that crack about Rosalie called for it."

"Nothing ever calls for tickling." I couldn't help but laugh though. I loved having these moments with him. It was something that I hadn't even known was missing in my relationship with Joe, but now that I was with Edward, I realized that Joe and I hardly ever spent our time laughing and having fun with each other. My relationship with Edward was a wonderfully different change.

We agreed that Edward would bring me home so I could shower, change and get some work done. He said he had some errands to run and would come over to the apartment when he was finished. From there, we would decide on our plans for the evening.

The important part was that we would have plans for the evening – together.

Twenty minutes later, I was keying into my apartment, having said a prolonged goodbye to Edward in the car. It was hard to leave him – harder than it should've been considering we had our first date only last night – but we finally separated so I could go inside and he could go off and do whatever it was he had to do.

I could hear music coming from the direction of Alice's room, and I wondered if I could sneak by without her hearing or seeing me. I was a little worried about her reaction to me not coming home last night, as well as the third degree I was sure I would get about the date.

Tip-toeing up the hallway, I approached Alice's slightly closed bedroom door with the caution of someone approaching a sleeping tiger.

My BFF must have super spidey hearing because the minute I hit her doorframe, she yelled, "Bella, you're home!"

Her bedroom door swung open and Alice smiled at me. Her room was covered in clothing and accessories and Alice looked more disheveled than I had ever seen her.

"Ali, are you…okay?" I asked, slightly concerned.

She waved off the mess behind her. "Yeah, just going through some stuff; early spring cleaning and all that." She tilted her head and grinned at me. "So…. how was the date?"

I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face. Apparently that was answer enough for her.

"Excellent! When are you guys going out again? Should I make myself scarce tonight?"

My grin faltered a bit when I realized she wasn't going to ask for details. This was definitely not like Alice.

"Um, we're getting together later…Ali, are you sure everything's okay?"

Alice smiled. "Bella, everything is fine! I'm going to get back to my cleaning and I'm sure you have stuff to do, so…" Alice left the door open as she moved back into her room, turning her back on me.

I stood there for a minute, biting my lip. Despite Alice's reassurances, I knew something was off, but I couldn't put my finger on what. She smile seemed sincere and her tone was light and friendly, but something was wrong. Deciding I would shower first so I could think about how to approach things with her, I left her room and headed for mine.

I took my time in the shower, replaying last night and this morning. Other than the situation named Emmett, things had gone better than I expected. I believed Edward had been nothing but truthful with me. The things he shared hadn't placed him in the best light, which is what truly made me think that he was hiding nothing from me. I knew without a doubt that I could trust him with my heart. Knowing that, I couldn't help the joyous feeling that spread over my body.

Alice had been right; moving to Seattle was the start of a wonderful new life.

I could only hope that Edward would be by my side through it all.

Wandering to Alice's room after showering and dressing for the day, I found her gone. There was a note on the counter that read:

Bella,

Decided to make myself scarce, just in case.

Have fun.

Love to you both,

Alice

Biting my lip, I read the note again, wondering why she felt the need to leave and leave so quickly. Her lack of questions about the date might be able to be explained away by the tentative truce we called earlier in the week on the subject of Edward, but I thought for sure that with me being gone all night she would've quizzed me to death.

Instead, I'm left with barely two sentences on a cryptic note.

Taking my cell out my pocket, I dialed her number. Four rings later, her voicemail picked up.

"Alice, it's Bella. Um, I just want to make sure everything is okay…um, I'm sorry you left before we had a chance to talk. I really hope you didn't leave on account of Edward coming over. Um, call me back, okay?"

I hung up, worrying my bottom lip with my teeth. Something was definitely off with my best friend, but I had no idea what it was. There was nothing in her attitude or tone that made me believe that Alice was anything less than happy for Edward and I, but something wasn't right with her. Yet, until she decided to come clean with me, I was at a loss about what could possibly be wrong.

Deciding there was nothing more I could do at the moment, I went back to my room and booted up my laptop. I opened iTunes and, settling in with some classic rock, I started planning out assignments for my classes.

I was startled when I heard a loud knock on our front door. Glancing at the clock on my laptop, I realized that almost two hours had passed without my noticing. The knocking sound came again, and I jumped up, moving toward the foyer.

I glanced through the peek hole – Charlie's lessons are always with me - to see Edward standing on the other side. I couldn't get the door unlocked and opened fast enough.

The minute I had the door open, I was swung up in his arms, his mouth covering mine.

Is it possible to be this happy?

We finally pulled away from each other, grinning into each other's faces.

"I missed you," Edward breathed, his eyes searching my face as if he hadn't seen me in years rather than just hours before.

"I missed you too." It was true. I had gone almost 28 years without him doing any more than just passing through my life at brief interludes. One date and a bunch of huge confessions later, I couldn't imagine being without him.

I pulled Edward into the apartment and he shut the door behind him. We stood in the entryway, just holding hands and smiling at each other. I was giddy with happiness.

Edward leaned his head down to mine, our foreheads touching, gazes locked. We were silent, not wanting to break the spell around us with unnecessary words.

I can't stop smiling.

"So, Ms. Swan, how's your day been so far?" Edward stepped back a bit so we could see each other better.

"Good, I got some more work done, so I should be set for the first couple of weeks of the semester at least." I sighed happily, thrilled to be in Edward's arms and satisfied with the amount of work I finished while we were separated.

"That's great! Are you at a good place to stop and maybe go get something to eat?"

"Sure. Where do you want to go?"

"There's a sub shop not far from here, is that okay?" Edward reached up and brushed a piece of hair out of my eyes, his fingertips ghosting over my forehead.

"Sounds good. Let me just grab my wallet." He released me and I headed back to my room.

"Where's Alice? I thought maybe she could come with us," Edward yelled from the other room.

I threw on a pair of sneakers and grabbed my wallet. "She's not here," I answered him, walking back to where he was waiting for me.

"Oh, okay." Edward tilted his head and looked at me appraisingly. "Is everything okay?"

I shrugged as we walked out the door and got on the elevator. "I guess so. She seemed a little manic when I got home this morning –"

"So she was acting normally?" Edward chuckled as he opened the passenger side door of the Volvo for me.

I smacked his arm. "Be nice. That's my best friend you're making fun of."

Edward held his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. But remember, she's my little sister, so taunting, mocking, and just general making fun of her is in my job description."

I shook my head as he shut the door and walked around to the driver's side. I waited until he was in the car before I continued. "Anyway, she was cleaning out all the stuff in her room and there were things everywhere. She seemed fine, but…" I trailed off, not quite sure how to describe it. Maybe I was seeing something that wasn't there.

"But…." Edward prompted.

I sighed. "I've been your sister's best friend for over ten years, and never once has she not bugged me relentlessly about my life. From my job, to the men I dated, to what I ate for breakfast, Alice has always been abnormally interested in what's going on with me. So, not only was I expecting the third degree when I walked in the apartment this morning, I was almost counting on it. But she never said a word. She asked if we had a good time and then wanted to know if she should leave the apartment so we could have some time alone."

Edward didn't say anything, so I continued. "Alice and I had a fight earlier this week." He turned his head to look at me, his face curious. "We had a…difference of opinion about something I was going to do. She had no problem telling me what she thought I should do and how I should handle it. I thought she should mind her own business, and I told her so. She didn't think she was doing anything wrong and we kind of had it out."

"Had it out?"

"We argued, I stormed off, she called Jake, he called me and gave me a kick in the ass –"

Edward interrupted me. "He did what?"

I rolled my eyes. "Stop being so overprotective. He gave me a verbal ass kicking, which, I will admit, I needed. Alice came home, we talked and we made up. I thought we were okay – we seemed okay –but today, something just seemed…off."

Edward didn't move for a few moments and then finally, shrugged. "Maybe she's butting out like you asked her to do."

I shook my head. "Maybe, but I don't think so. It was more than that. It didn't have the feel of Alice trying to stay out of things…something else was going on. I just can't figure out what."

We arrived at the sub shop then and I waited until Edward joined me on the sidewalk before continuing. "I might be overreacting, but something just didn't seem…right."

Edward reached down and took my left hand, bringing it to his lips for a quick kiss. "I believe you. I'll try talking to her later, see if I can get anything out of her. Have you called Jacob to ask if he's spoken to her?"

Shaking my head, I sighed. "No, not yet. I figured if she hasn't talked to me about it, she probably hasn't talked to him either."

Edward squeezed my hand, which was now intertwined with his. "Or, she might not be ready to talk about it with you yet, so she called him."

I literally took a step back because the thought of Alice turning to Jake, and not me, hurt. It hurt a lot. There was nothing that the three of us haven't shared with one another, at least anything that I knew of. I always told them both when something was going on, but Edward's comment made me wonder if they had been sharing things with each other that they hadn't shared with me.

"Bella?"

I looked at Edward, the pain and confusion written clearly on my face.

"Oh sweetheart, please don't worry. I'm sure Alice will talk to you when she's ready. You're both going through some big changes – the move to Seattle, both of you starting new jobs, learning to live together as best friends and roommates – you're bound to be going through some growing pains. If Alice is talking to Jake, then I'm sure she'll be talking to you soon too. Please don't worry about it. Alice will be fine. Your friendship with Alice will be fine, I'm sure of it."

I nodded, trying to believe him.

Edward squeezed my hand one more time before we walked into the shop. We held hands until we reached the counter, and then separated to order our sandwiches. One turkey on a hard roll and one pastrami on rye later, we were sitting at a small corner table eating quietly.

We hadn't gotten far into our sandwiches before Edward asked, "So what was the difference of opinion that you and Ali had?"

Crap.

I really hadn't wanted to tell him, which is why I kept it purposely vague. I knew that telling him that I had been considering canceling our date would hurt him, and I wanted to do anything to avoid that. At the same time, he had come clean and been truthful when I asked him questions last night, and he should only expect the same from me.

Edward looked at me expectantly, but didn't say anything. He didn't have to; I knew he was waiting for me to tell him why Alice and I had argued.

"The day after you asked me out, I panicked a bit." Edward raised an eyebrow and I gave a humorless laugh before continuing.

"Okay, I panicked a lot. I had spilled my guts to you over dinner, telling you things I hadn't told anyone and it freaked me out a little. So in my panic, I figured the best way to keep from freaking out in the future would be to just not see you again."

Edward looked down at his plate. "I see."

I took his hand. "Do you? Edward, my freaking out didn't have a thing to do with you. It was me, doing what I do best – running when things get tough. I tend to avoid things that I'd rather not face and I was trying to avoid how you made me feel."

Edward's face was impassive as he looked at me. I wondered what he was thinking, but when ehwhenhe remained silent, I figured I should continue. "It took an outburst with your sister and a kick-ass phone call from Jake to help me pull my head out of my butt. But that's where things have been dicey with Ali."

"What happened?"

"I didn't do a good job of explaining to Alice where my head was and why I was thinking of not going out with you. That being said, I was also getting slightly irritated with the fact that she just wouldn't back off when I asked her to – or butt out for that matter. We had an argument that basically consisted of her trying to convince me to go out with you and me begging her to back the hell off."

"So, you only went out with me because Alice badgered you into it?" There was no mistaking the hurt in his voice or on his face.

"No! God, no! No matter how much I love your sister, I would never have gone out with you if I hadn't wanted to, no matter how annoying and irritating she was." I squeezed his hand tighter and I hoped he could see the sincerity on my face.

Edward stared at me silently for a moment, before nodding his head and giving me a small smile. "I believe you."

I couldn't help myself. I stood up, walked over to his side of the table and grabbing his face in between my hands, laid a sweet kiss on his lips. "Thank you," I said, when I finally pulled back. I began to move back to my seat when Edward grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down to him, crushing his lips to mine.

It took me a few minutes to remember where we were and that I wasn't that big into public displays of affection. He gave me one last peck on the lips, and I pulled away, my cheeks flaming and slid back over into my seat.

The atmosphere was relaxed, with only a slight current of sexual tension running underneath it. We finished our sandwiches, chatting happily about everything and nothing. We left the shop hand-in-hand about a half an hour later, with plans to head back to my apartment.

Alice hadn't returned by the time we got there and I had a feeling we wouldn't be seeing her anytime soon. I wondered where she was, hoping she was okay. I felt horrible thinking that she felt like she couldn't even stay in her own apartment – an apartment she was paying for – because she might intrude on Edward and me. It seemed ridiculous and silly. I appreciated the sentiment, but at the same time, I also didn't feel comfortable feeling like I was keeping Alice away from her home.

Edward settled down on the couch, turning on the Discovery Channel and making himself at home. His sneakers had been toed-off next to the coffee table and his feet were propped up on it.

"You better hope Alice doesn't come home and see those," I pointed to his feet, "on her brand new coffee table."

Edward smirked at me. "She's young, she'll adjust."

I laughed. "Have you been talking to my dad?"

Edward shook his head and grinned. "No, why?"

"He says that all the time, usually in reference to me complaining about something. It was funny to hear it from you too."

Edward pulled me down on top of him, my legs straddling his waist. "Are you comparing me to the great Chief Swan?" he asked, nuzzling my neck.

"Okay, it's time for you to stop talking about my father and kiss me." I moaned as his teeth grazed over the column of my throat.

"Your wish…" Edward trailed off as his lips met mine.

He bit my bottom lip before swiping his tongue over it, begging me to open for him. I did, meeting his tongue with my own. He tasted of peppermint and soda, pastrami and mustard. It was an odd, but comforting and comfortable taste. I moaned softly as his lips left mine to travel down my jaw and throat.

I'm not sure how long we sat there and made out like two teenagers, but eventually our hips started moving in time with one another, grinding our bodies together. My underwear was soaked and the hard bulge in Edward's pants left no doubt he was as turned on as I was. I felt barely coherent enough to wonder if I should ask him to my room, which was followed quickly by the thought that it was entirely too soon for us to make love.

But it's not too soon for us to screw like bunnies.

Is there a difference?

Um, yes, of course there is.

Oh hell, he's licking my collarbone.

Where'd my shirt go?

Too fast, this is moving entirely too fast.

And there goes my bra.

I was quickly losing what was left of my control and knew that if I didn't pull back now, I would find myself doing something that I might later wish I had waited a bit longer for.

My body was screaming at me to invite him inside of me, to feel his warm hardness filling me.

Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!

Oh. My. God. What this man can do with his tongue should be illegal.

Too fast…moving too, too fast….

What the hell do I know? It's been seven months! Continue to get naked and go for it!

No sooner did I think the word "naked," I froze.

Edward would see me – naked. Every part of my body would be exposed to him.

Including the scars left behind from the accident.

My hands flew up, pushing against Edward's shoulders as I scrambled off his lap. I barely registered the surprised confusion that was written all over his face as my arms came up to cover my bare breasts. My eyes darted around the living room, searching for my shirt. Edward began speaking, but I was too lost in my horror to make sense of his words.

I felt vulnerable and unprotected, unwilling to show Edward just how scared I was of him seeing the scars that littered my stomach and lower half of my body.

I sprinted up the hallway toward my bedroom, stumbling as I crossed the threshold. Running for my dresser, I pulled too hard, spilling the contents of one of the drawers onto the floor. It wasn't until I had a t-shirt pulled down over my head and covering my torso that I even realized that Edward was in the room with me.

I couldn't face him. I was mortified, embarrassed – even more so than I had been the night of our first dinner. That evening, I had allowed him to see a small part of my fear and shame. Today brought everything to a whole new level.

"Bella?" I heard him speak softly behind me.

I couldn't turn around. I brought my hands to my face, covering my red-hot cheeks. I felt the wetness there and was surprised, as I hadn't even realized I was crying. I shook my head, trying to get my bearings.

"Bella, love?" Edward was closer now, but I still could not turn around and face him.

"Ed…Edward, I…think that you…should…probably go…" I forced the words out of my mouth, afraid I'd break down if I said too much.

"Sweetheart, please turn around."

I shook my head, refusing to do as he asked. There were muffled footsteps and then I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Bella, please turn around."

I shook my head again, but the effort was less this time. I felt the gentle pressure of his hand, urging me to turn and face him. I resisted for only a moment before turning and throwing myself at him.

"I'm…sor…sorry…" I said, through hiccupped sobs.

"Shhhh…I'm sorry. I never should've..."

Hearing that, I just cried harder. It was bad enough I was having second thoughts, now I had to deal with the knowledge that Edward was regretting what happened as well.

Edward was rubbing my back in soothing circles and I could feel his breath stir the hair on top of my head.

Suddenly, I just felt exhausted. It felt like my body could no longer stand under its own weight. I sagged against Edward, who immediately noticed the change in me.

"Oh baby," he murmured softly. He turned our bodies so that he could lift me up and carry me over to my bed. My face was pressed into his shoulder, my tears ruining yet another shirt.

Edward leaned down but didn't let me go; when he finally laid me down, I realized he had pulled my comforter back. He placed me in between the sheets and tried to back away, but I refused to let him go. I couldn't look him in the face, but the comfort of just having him there was more than I could stand to lose.

Thankfully, Edward seemed to understand. He laid down next to me on the bed, over the covers, pulling my body to his. I continued to cry into his shirt, as he whispered nonsensical words to me.

Eventually the torrent of tears ended and I was left feeling drained. Edward stayed quiet, his hands running up and down my back in a calming motion.

I fell into an exhausted slumber with Edward humming against my ear.

I'm not sure how long I slept, but when I woke, my room was dark.

Shifting a little, I realized I was still secure in Edward's arms. Part of me wanted to close my eyes and go back to sleep, to ignore my earlier meltdown, but I also knew that wasn't going to happen.

Edward wouldn't allow me to hide, not from him.

I sighed, moving away from him a little, knowing I was going to have to face what I'd done.

Looking up, I met his eyes. He looked down at me, a small, sad smile on his lips. "How are you?" he asked quietly.

I paused before answering, really considering how to answer his question. "Drained…embarrassed…angry…sad…exhausted…" I trailed off, not completely sure if I was done describing all that was going on inside of me.

One of Edward's hands came up and he ran it through his hair. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I never should've pushed you into doing something…please, forgive me." His voice was barely a whisper by the time his sentence ended.

I reached up, taking his hand from his hair and brought it down to the bed in between us. "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you."

His voice was fierce as he answered me. "No, you have nothing to be sorry for either. I'm the one who couldn't control myself."

I shook my head, and bit my lip, trying to stop the apology on the tip of my tongue. At this rate, we'd spend the rest of the night apologizing to each other.

"Can we both agree that we're sorry and move on?" I finally said, my tone weary and soft.

When Edward didn't say anything, I looked back up at him and saw his green eyes were regarding me seriously. Finally, he spoke.

"I'm okay with accepting each other's apologies and moving on from them. But I think we need to talk about what happened earlier and deal with it so I don't upset you again."

"Edward, you didn't –"

He cut me off. "Obviously I did, or you wouldn't have reacted the way you had. Bella, please, tell me what I did wrong."

I sat up, pulling out if his warm embrace, and ran a hand through my hair.

I'm already picking up his habits.

The thought made me smile.

I turned so I was sitting facing him, crossed-legged. I reached down and took his right hand, interlocking our fingers. Edward continued to lie where he was, left arm behind his head, his eyes watching me carefully.

"You're into the communication thing, aren't you?" I asked, stalling for time.

He answered me seriously. "Yes, I am. Carlisle and Esme were very big on talking things out as a family and it stuck. Talking – and listening – is important to any relationship."

I nodded, and looked down at our hands. "I'm just not used to it. Charlie isn't a big talker and Renee," I ignored the hitch I felt in my heart, "Renee would just tell me that an apology was enough, that there was no point in rehashing what was done. I guess I carried that into my last relationship and I never learned how to do this whole communication thing real well. I wasn't kidding when I told you I would rather run than face confrontation or trouble."

Edward's hand tightened on mine. "Bella, the only way this is going to work, the only way we are going to work, is if we talk things out. I thought I showed this to you last night when I told you about Tanya and my feelings for you. That wasn't easy for me and honestly, I know how much of an ass it made me look. But I did it because I knew that if I didn't, we would be starting this relationship on the wrong foot. I want to do this right, Bella, because it matters. You matter."

It couldn't be helped, the tears started again. Every word he said went straight to my heart and I knew he was right. I mattered to him, but more importantly, he mattered to me.

Taking a deep breath, I began.

"Everything was fine. I was fine with everything you were doing, what we were doing. Part of me was worried that we were moving too fast, so I'm not sure how much further we would've gotten anyway, but…I panicked when I realized that you were going to see me…see all of me."

Edward's hand came out from behind his hand and he reached out to stroke my cheek. "Bella, you're beautiful. Everything about you is perfect and gorgeous."

I glanced down at our hands again, unable to meet his eyes. There was no way I could doubt the sincerity in his voice. But he hadn't seen all of me yet. I wondered if – when – he did, if he would change his mind.

How I would handle it if he did?

No point in prolonging the torture.

"The accident," my breath hitched, "it left me with some…scars. They're not pretty. The doctor said that the lower half of my body was pretty busted up when I came in…the way steering wheel hit and the impact…well, it doesn't matter how it happened. They're not pretty; they're actually quite gross. Some of them are still raised and dark and…ugly. I don't…" My throat felt like it was closing up and I could barely get enough air to push the words out. "I don't want you to see them."

The silence was heavy and I kept waiting for Edward to stand up and leave me there, now that he knew I was anything but gorgeous and perfect. Yet, the silence continued and Edward never moved. Letting my curiosity get the best of me, I finally looked up and met his eyes.

His eyes were blazing and I could see the moisture gathered in their green depths. I was momentarily disarmed by what I saw in them, and then outright stunned when Edward shot up, wrapping his arms around me. He crushed me to his body and I could feel him shaking slightly. My arms came up to wrap around his neck, but I didn't hold him tightly. I could barely hold on at all.

Edward began talking as he buried his face in the groove between my neck and shoulder. "I can't fucking think of you like that, Bella. I just can't. It hurts to think what might have happened to you, that I might not be here holding you now if… Jesus, I can't fucking even think!" His grip tightened on me, and his breathing was shaky.

I tightened my grip around his neck, swallowing hard. I didn't want to cry anymore than I already had, but that's all I seemed to do around Edward.

This can't be healthy.

I tried to pull away from him, to give me some space, but Edward held on tighter and I didn't have the energy to try and move. After a couple of minutes, Edward loosened his grip just enough so he could lean back and look at me. When he saw I was crying, he used his thumbs to wipe the tears from my cheeks. I tried to shake my head away from him, but he refused to let go.

"Bella?"

I let out another sob. "All…I seem…. to…do…is…cry…around you."

"Oh, baby. C'mere." He un-folded my legs, grasped my hips and settled me into his lap, straddling him. He pulled my head to his shoulder, stroking my hair and telling me it was going to be okay. When I realized he wasn't letting go, the hands that I was pushing at him with became a death grip on his shirt. My legs locked tight around his waist.

"I'm so sorry…I don't know why I'm reacting like this. I don't want you to leave me. Please don't leave me. I'm not perfect, I'm not beautiful, and I know you can do better, but please don't leave me."

Edward stiffened under me and I gripped him tighter, afraid he was going to do exactly what I asked him not to do. His arms constricted around me and I barely heard him as he whispered, "I'm never going to leave you – ever."

We stayed in that position long after my tears stopped and dried on my face, leaving salty tracks down my cheeks. It wasn't until I heard the front door open and shut that I finally moved.

"Alice," I said quietly, pulling away from Edward. "I don't want her to see me like this."

I untangled myself from him and got up from the bed, my body aching and stiff for being so still and tense for so long. As I made my way to the bathroom, I heard Edward ask, "Will you be okay alone?"

I nodded, looking over my shoulder and giving him a small smile. "Yeah, I'm better now." I paused before adding, "Thank you, Edward."

He gave me a brilliant smile and just nodded. No more words were necessary. It was one more storm that we weathered together and made it through, fairly unscathed, to the other side. Being with Edward made me feel better and as much as I couldn't hide from him, being with him made things easier to face – or at least be honest about to myself. I knew we still had to talk some more, but for now the crisis had passed and we would move on.

I heard Edward greet Alice as I shut the bathroom door. I took my time washing my face and combing the tangles and knots out of my hair. My breakdown and Edward's subsequent soothing gestures had caused it to look like a bird's nest.

My rollercoaster of emotions had wreaked havoc on my face as well. There was a deeper paleness to my skin, dark shadows beneath my eyes and my mouth was drawn down in a sad frown. For the first time, I considered calling the therapist my doctor in Jacksonville had suggested before my move. I had put his card away, knowing that the odds of my seeing a doctor that practiced in Seattle while I lived in Forks were nil. But now that I was actually here in the city, I no longer had the excuse of distance. Had I been alone, I would have never thought twice about going to see him. I had done a very good job of convincing myself that I was dealing just fine with everything without intervention. However, being around Edward – and my numerous breakdowns when I was with him – were causing me to re-evaluate my decision. Maybe I did need help coming to terms to the changes I had been through and the loss of my mother, who had been like my best friend.

I put the brush down on the counter with a sharp click and straightened my shoulders. I would be stronger and I could get through this without help. I had been doing fine so far, and as long as I kept my emotions in check, I would continue to be okay. I would never be the same, but I would continue to survive.

I promised myself that if I continued to have these up-down, crazy mood swings, I would seriously consider talking to someone. But for now, I would try to live without doing so.

Alice's bedroom door was closed when I walked by and I could hear mumbled talking coming from inside. Thinking Edward was in there with her, I walked into the kitchen to get a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Want to grab me a beer?" I heard his deep, velvet voice ask from the living room area.

I jumped and gave a small squeal as I whirled around to face him. "Where did you come from?" My hand was on my chest, as if it would keep my hard beating heart from leaping out of my chest.

"I've been sitting here the whole time," he chucked softly, getting up to meet me in the kitchen. "You didn't even look my way when you came in."

"I thought you were in Alice's room with her; I thought heard people talking."

He shook his head, his face pensive. "Must be her TV. She came in, said hello, we exchanged hugs and 'how are yous' before she said she was tired and excused herself to her room."

My eyebrows furrowed. "Something is wrong."

Edward nodded. "I agree. But I also know that my sister won't talk until she's ready."

"She may not talk to you, but she'll talk to me. I hope."

Edward gave a small shrug. "Good luck. I'm just going to wait her out like I normally do. She'll talk to me when she wants, if she wants. I'm sure she's fine, Bella."

It was my turn to shrug. "Yeah, maybe."

Edward put his arms around me and pulled me close to him. "How are you feeling?"

I took a deep breath and answered him. "Better. I'm sorry I keep flipping out on you. There's something about you that tends to bring out my inner drama queen or something. I'm not usually like this."

He leaned down and kissed my nose. "It's okay. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to let your guard down and share things with me, even if it's not always pretty. I want to be here for you, Bella. I want to be whatever you want and need me to be."

How the hell did I get so lucky?

My hands moved from around his waist to travel up and cup the back of his head. I pulled him toward me and met his lips with my own. It was a slow, sweet kiss and with it, I tried to show him all the emotions he made me feel. I was overwhelmed by my feelings for him and so incredibly thankful that he was a part of my life. It amazed me that he had always been on the fringes of it, but now, when I desperately needed someone to help ground me, helping me feel optimistic and real, he was here completely. I hoped he meant it when he promised me he would never leave.

We finally broke apart, gasping for breath. Edward kissed my forehead, my nose, my eyelids, and my cheeks before returning to give me one last kiss on my lips.

"I'm sorry I ruined our evening." I laid my head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

"You didn't. We talked about some important stuff, although, we're going to have to talk more at some point."

I rubbed my cheek against the softness of his t-shirt. "I know…just…not tonight, okay? I'm wiped out."

Edward ran his hands up and down my back. "No, not tonight."

We stood there for a few more minutes in a comfortable silence before Edward finally broke it. "I was going to ask you to come and spend the night with me, but –"

My breath caught. "You don't want me to go with you anymore?"

His arms tightened around me. "No, baby, no. I just didn't know if you'd want to or if you'd feel more comfortable here."

"I'm more comfortable being wherever you are."

He didn't say anything right away and I could've sworn I heard him swallow hard. I moved so I could look up at his face, but he wouldn't let me go. "Okay, here or my place?"

"Is Emmett going to be there?" Either way, we'd have to deal with a Cullen sibling. After the fiasco that was this morning, I had no interest in seeing Emmett anytime soon. I also didn't want to make Alice uncomfortable in her own home. There wasn't an obvious choice here, but if it meant facing Emmett, I'd have to go with staying here.

"No, he's staying at Rose's tonight; he texted me earlier to let me know I'd have the condo to myself."

"Do you mind if we go there? I…don't want to make things weirder with Alice than they already are and I think a slumber party with her older brother might just do it."

"She's going to have to get used to the idea sometime, sweetheart. In fact, wasn't she the one pushing you and I together to begin with?"

"I know, but…" I didn't know how to put it into words. Something was up with Alice and I was kind of hurt that she wouldn't talk to me about whatever it was. Having some space from her would be a good thing. I think.

"Do you want to grab anything before we go?" Edward's hold loosened and I stepped out of his arms.

"Yeah, I'll pack some stuff."

Edward walked over to one of the bar stools and sat down. "I'll wait for you here."

Ten minutes later, we were leaving the apartment hand-in-hand. I had stopped by Alice's room before we left so I could tell her I was staying with Edward. She gave me a huge smile and hug, but her eyes held something that looked sad and lonely. I almost told Edward that I changed my mind and we should stay here, but Alice hugged me again and told me to have a good night and I decided to let it go. There would – hopefully – be plenty of nights where we would be staying here and I wanted to ease Alice in slowly. Plus, the thought of having an empty apartment all to ourselves was too tempting to resist.

That night, as I fell asleep in Edward's arms, in Edward's bed, I prayed that the worst was behind me, behind us, and that Edward and I could begin a relationship that was free of anymore drama and pain.

Sometimes, prayers come true.

But sometimes, I learned, they don't.