Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto's and Tenten's past when mentioned is based on a good friend of mines.
A/N: Hey guys, I am so sorry it took me so long to get this next part up. I really didn't mean for it to be this long in between updates but life and other things got in the way. Especially work and school. But I did finish school finally! Anyways thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed. It means so much to me to know what you guys think and that you're enjoying the story. It really makes my day and you guys are awesome. So here's the next part and I hope you enjoy it for that is why writer's write.
X
Whether it came from back talking his sensei, the heat of the day, his injuries or a combination, Lee wasn't sure. But he knew he had never felt worse in his life. Not even after being beaten by Gaara had he felt so humiliated and broken.
His sensei was telling him to rest now. The one person who pushed him was now trying to hold him back. Lee knew his sensei was worried about him. That they all were. But knowing they were worried, and felt compassion instead of pity, didn't make accepting his limits any easier. Not when he'd worked so hard to overcome them. Not when the one person who always told him to push himself was suddenly on a 'Lee rest' kick like everyone else was.
Even after the incident with Gaara, Guy-sensei had never told him to just rest before. He'd encouraged him to take it easy, and be careful, but never to just stay still. As soon as he was out of the hospital, Guy had helped him put together a training routine. Sure it was easier, but it was still something. So why now was he acting this way?
Ever since he'd had that meeting with Lady Tsunade, he'd been acting strange. Like he was afraid of something but he wouldn't say what and whenever Lee brought up the meeting, he seemed to grow either sour or distant. That's how the fight had begun. He had asked once again if something happened with Lady Tsunade right before his physical therapy and Guy had dismissed the question with a smile and laugh. It wasn't genuine though, and before Lee could stop himself, he had called his sensei out on it. Saying he needed to know if she'd said something.
Then after therapy the meeting had come up again, this time Guy simply said it wasn't important. Lee hadn't pushed, but when he headed towards the small training room at the back of the springs, Guy had tried to stop him. Giving him no explanation besides stating what they were here for, and that he needed to listen without question.
Lee shook his head. He should have just accepted that. He knew it was wrong to question his sensei! But...he didn't so much want an answer about why he was being held from training, as why Guy was acting so strange. He wanted him to be honest about what happened at that meeting like he was honest with everything else.
'Liar. You're sensei is a liar...' Ryudoin's voice whispered in Lee's ears and he felt himself stiffen. 'He finally sees that you're worthless. He's just trying to break it to you gently...he's not as cold as others...'
Lee clutched his head to try and stop the voice and started racing deeper into the forest. It was coming from inside his own mind and fears though. The more he tried to run, and the tighter he gritted his teeth or held his head, the louder the voice became. Before long, he was running blindly into the woods, trying to get that picture of Guy's back to him as he left with Ryudoin, out of his head! He knew Guy didn't know he was watching or mean to hurt him. He knew! But that didn't change the fact he left or that he probably hadn't even thought of asking him to come because of his injuries. Knowing didn't change the fact that once again he was left behind. He was watching the one person in the world he wanted to please the most walk away! It...
"AHhhh!" Lee let out a cry as his crutch twisted and he went flying forward. He tried to go down in a roll so he could come up again, but when he went into position, he slammed his shoulder against sharp rocks, twisting around mid roll and going off to the side towards an embankment. He tried to stop himself but he continued to skid until he tumbled over the side of a three foot drop and landed hard in muddy sand.
He lay there for several minutes, trying to catch his breath and stop the world from spinning overhead.
"At least...you didn't land in the water..." he tried to comfort himself with a forced smile as he finally turned over onto his stomach and pushed himself up into a sitting position. His right leg was throbbing and sticky sand clung to his clothes, hair, and sat uncomfortably between his toes. He never understood why ninja's wore open toed sandals, but he figured it was probably for an important reason. Shaking his hair wildly to get the sand out, he started to feel his right leg.
"Lee? Lee?"
He froze and his eyes widened. Sakura? Despite his current state and the voices that still whispered to him, he felt a genuine smile light up his face.
"Lee? Lee where are you?"
"I'm over here." he raised his hand, hoping it showed above the sandy wall as he waved it around.
"Where? Keep talking."
"Over here. Over the embankment..." he called out again, and seconds later, he heard her footsteps coming closer at a frantic pace. Soon, her head popped over the side and she stared down at him.
"Lee!" she let out a sigh of relief, and dropped down next to him. His crutch was in her hand. "Are you alright? What happened?"
"I am fine." he smiled. "Just...wasn't paying that much attention to where I was going and..." he felt himself flush as she picked a large clump of sand from his hair.
This close he could smell her scent, and see how the light reflected in her eyes and off her slick skin. She must have just come from the hot springs...
He bit his cheek to keep his thoughts from wandering into less than wholesome areas.
"From how far away I found this," she pointed to the crutch after dropping the sand. "You must have been going pretty fast."
"I..."
Sakura sighed as she sat back on her legs and folded her arms.
"Lee, what do you think you were doing? You're injured enough as it is. The last thing you need is to be running around and falling off of things."
"I..."
"And don't even try to tell me about your stupid self imposed rules. Those things are going to get you killed one of these days."
"They're the ultimate two step process!" Lee tried to explain. "You fail at something then you use another thing..."
"I know how they work." she narrowed her eyes at him. "But following them like you do isn't going to help you right now. Your rules don't allow you to give yourself any slack even when you need it."
"But I don't need it." Lee said only to be stopped as she planted a hand on his shoulder.
"Yes you do." her voice was stern, then slowly melted into something softer as she lightened her touch. "I may not have known you for very long, Lee, but I've known you long enough. You want to get stronger. You're way of the ninja is everything to you, and you even risked an operation that could have killed you to fight for it. Strength isn't something you seem to ever run out of, no matter what."
His face grew more and more heated as she spoke.
"But common sense is something you're very low on. You're not letting yourself see the big picture like you should."
"The operation though..."
"Was a success. But it didn't make you invincible. Your body is still recovering, your ankle was fractured from that sparring match and..." Sakura cut herself off as she saw Lee's face drop, and what looked like a shiny film came over his eyes. "Lee..."
" Please...Sakura. You know...how I feel about you, but...please do not speak about something you don't understand like you do." he bit his lip, hating the fact he looked like this in front of her. He couldn't help it though. The more he tried to stop himself from feeling this way, the worse it became.
"What don't I understand?"
"I understand the risks. I know that continuing to push myself like this is foolish. I really do know...but I can't stop." he whispered. "You're a very strong person, Sakura. Stronger than you give yourself credit for and you've proven it to everyone. But me...everyday, I have to prove my worth all over again. Everyday, I have to show everyone that someone who has no natural talent is worthy to be a ninja, because if I don't...only a few people remember." he wasn't talking out of self pity. He didn't care that he had to prove himself everyday. Did he want to? No. But he knew that until he made it to be the best ninja possible, he had to remind those around him constantly that he was worth something. He had to remind himself that he was worth something. Everyday was a fight against the lie he'd been told years ago, and grown up believing until only two years ago.
"That's where you're wrong. No one forgets how strong you are. Not even those who might have once thought you were weak. Do you know that even though you lost to Gaara at the chuunin exams, everyone still talks about what you did? I've helped out at the academy before and at least once a month someone tells that story. You're not weak, Lee. You're a hero!" she cupped his face in her soft hands, forcing him to look at her. "Don't you know that?"
He wanted to say yes. He wanted to nod and stand up proudly and proclaim his worth! That's what he wanted to do, and then show off how strong he was. But his eyes betrayed him, and the answer was clear. No. He didn't know he was a hero. Everyday, he struggled to believe he was something. To believe in himself like he was supposed to. He was getting better at it! But overcoming a lifetime of being told he was pathetic and a loser, wasn't something he could just do overnight. Much as he'd like it to be.
Wiping his eyes, Lee swallowed hard and tried to force a smile back on his face.
" Please forgive me, Sakura. I did not mean to burden you with such nonsense. I am fine. Really...just out of it because of the fall. I landed on my head." he laughed as if it were nothing. When he tried to move though, Sakura held on. "Sak..."
"Lee...please. Right now...I don't know what to say to help you. If I had the magic words I'd use them in a heartbeat...but I don't. All I know is that you're my friend, and I'm worried about you. I really am..." she wiped away what was left of the tear trail with her thumbs, ignoring the way the boy's cheeks turned pink and careful of his bruise. "So please, for me, just for awhile, stop training...please?"
Was this how she looked when she asked Sasuke to stay? Her eyes were wide and filled with emotion, and her heart seemed to be completely open as her voice begged for something. Not for her own gain, but for someone else's. Was this the last thing he saw? If so...how could he have left?
Lee didn't know, but he knew he couldn't hurt her in the same way. Even if it killed him inside, even if it was just for awhile, he'd pause his training. He'd try and keep himself from doing anything to hurt her.
"A...alright. For awhile...I will stop." the words twisted inside of him and he felt something inside his chest snap. But the smile on Sakura's face eased the pain somewhat.
"Thank you. Now, lets look at that leg of yours." she said and after examining the leg, readjusting the bandages, and finding an easier way out of the ditch, she helped him out, and walked besides him back to town.
X
"I want to prove to everyone that even a person who can't use ninjistu or genjutsu can still become a splendid ninja. That's your shinobi path isn't?"
His fist hit harder and harder against the dead trunk.
"It's a great goal. One that's really worth fighting for."
His leg struck against the wood so hard a chunk splintered off nearly clipping him in face, only to be demolished by a palm strike.
"It's the path you've chosen so have faith and follow it! Become such a strong fighter that I can just sit back and enjoy the show."
An axe kick came down on one of the remaining branches. Severing it completely and showering splinters everywhere.
"You got that Lee?"
"Yes sir!"
"HIYAH!" his cry cut through the clearing, sending a flock of birds shooting from their nests as his fist crashed through the center of the thick wood. When he pulled it out, it was embedded with splinters and tiny trails of blood ran across his knuckles and the top of his hand. Guy didn't feel it though. Not past the stinging that was already there.
He couldn't believe he hit Lee like that. Sure, he'd socked the kid a few times to get his attention and more than once slapped him upside the head and made him run until he dropped. But not when he was injured. Not when he was already going through enough that he didn't need anything more, and he had never left without saying something afterwards. Usually after a short lecture he excused his student's mistake and let it be. Engulfing him in a hug to let him know all was forgiven.
This time though...he didn't know what to do. He had been so close to just grabbing Lee by the shoulders and shaking him while he explained what the Hokage had told him. He wanted to do that...but he couldn't. It shouldn't have been this hard to talk to Lee about this. They'd had talks far more serious and always pulled through. What was making it hard this time though was that he couldn't give Lee an absolute promise that nothing would happen. Even if he stopped training now, he couldn't guarantee Lee that Tsunade wouldn't take him away or...that he thought it was the wrong thing to do. When he first heard the idea, he'd been so against it he felt like carving NO into Tsunade's desk.
Now he wondered. The physical therapist said Lee was doing better, but that could easily change. She told Lee, to his face, that if he tried pushing to hard he could permanently damage something. So what does the little fool go and do? He wants to see if he can beat his record of pull ups as soon as they're out of there!
He wanted to do...exactly what Guy would have wanted to do in his situation. Lee was following his example more than Guy ever thought he would without even thinking about it. And that could kill him.
"No matter what it takes, even if I have to die for my dream, I will do it." he remembered Lee announcing to him as he waited to learn how to open the inner gates. He remembered the fire in the boy's eyes and how he'd helped stoked it till it was an inferno! Then he remembered that sickening sound of cracking bones, tearing muscles and the scream that ripped from Lee's throat as he was crushed under Gaara's sand.
Pinching his eyes shut, Guy tried to avoid reliving the memory, but it was impossible not to see and after that, the way he stood again. Near death, but unwilling to give up. He had proven himself that day to be a ninja, who perhaps could one day surpass even the most talented jounin.
Guy had helped him reach that. He'd helped push and push and push him. Never taking an 'I can't' or cry of pain as an excuse. When Lee fell, he'd help him up but expected him to go ten times harder at the challenge than before. His promise to dedicate his life to training Lee depended on the boy as well.
"S...sensei...I...I can't breath. I can't..." a flash from a hospital visit raced through his mind. He'd been sitting next to Lee, reading something and talking when all of the sudden the boy started coughing. He couldn't stop and soon red flecks were coming from his mouth that grew in size. Later, Guy found out that a rib had punctured one of Lee's lungs and caused internal bleeding. That was the day he found out Lee had been training despite his injuries.
And he'd praised him. He'd warned him of course, and told him to be careful, but without thinking, he told the boy that's exactly what he would have done.
Only now though, was he truly beginning to see how dangerous his words could be.
Maybe it would be better, if just for awhile, Lee was assigned to another team. He wouldn't have to stay there forever, and they'd hold his spot open without question! But maybe, even if it hurt him now, it'd be better in the long run...
As this thought settled inside his mind, Guy found himself for the first time, truly hating Ryudoin. The first time he'd felt such hatred rise up was when he was trapped in the castle fighting Lee. The second time, was when he found out what he'd said to Lee. This time though, was the first time he hated that man so much he wouldn't have minded killing him. This was the first time he ever found himself wishing death would find him. Because if he hadn't misunderstood his father, if he hadn't sought revenge in a cowardly way, then maybe they wouldn't be here right now. Maybe Lee would be doing better and Guy wouldn't have this choice to make or thought in his head!
Or maybe, he hated Ryudoin so much, because he forced an unexpected issue to come up faster. If it hadn't been against him, Lee might have had to use his technique against someone else. If not then, then eventually, and more than likely before he was completely healed. He would use the technique again, Guy knew. Perhaps next time though he wouldn't be as lucky.
"It's none of my business what that child means to you, and I'll spare us both the lecture about not being governed by your feelings...but you crossed a line on this!" Kakashi's voice rattled inside his head. "You disappoint me Guy."
Even if Kakashi later said that he probably would have done the same thing in Guy's place, it didn't change the fact that right then, he spoke the truth. Guy had crossed a line. He knew he was crossing one when he taught Lee and he didn't care. He...just wanted to help the boy so much that he put him in a situation where he could have been killed. A situation Lee followed him into, completely trusting him with every ounce of innocence he had.
Resting his head against the rotten trunk, Guy felt a burning sensation in his eyes. He never meant to hurt Lee. That was the last thing he ever wanted to do, but his influence was so great over the boy and since he couldn't change he who was...maybe he needed to change who Lee looked to for guidance. Though it killed him to think about it.
"Sensei?" a sudden voice cut through his thoughts and Guy turned to find Tenten standing behind him. Her wet hair was down and clung to the back of her black shirt, and a concerned look was written all over her face.
"Tenten, what are you doing out here?" he asked, forcing his voice to be light. "I thought you were enjoying the hot springs with Sakura-chan."
"It's hard to enjoy when you overhear two people fighting." she said softly.
Guy's eyes widened, and his attempted smile fell as he rubbed the back of his head.
"So you heard then."
"Yes. We weren't spying or anything...we just...well we heard you and I've never actually seen you two fight with each other. I didn't even know it was possible for you two to disagree."
Guy let out a hollow laugh. He'd heard a few jokes over the years that he and Lee must share a brain. It wasn't surprising his students thought so as well.
"It was over nothing important. Just..."
"If it wasn't important there wouldn't have been an argument." Tenten said as she came closer.
Caught, Guy looked to the side.
"Lee was being a little over zealous was all. He needs to learn to accept his limits..."
Tenten's jaw dropped.
"Alright! Who are you and what have done with Guy-sensei? I want to know right now you imposter!" she pointed a finger at him, going into a crouching position as if to attack. When she saw her humor fall flat, she stood up straight.
"Why are you telling him to limit himself all of a sudden? Usually you're telling Neji and me to try and keep up."
"Its...different this time, Tenten. It's not really something I can..."
"Did Lady Tsunade say she'd take Lee off the team?"
The shock her question brought was almost enough to make Guy double over and all the breath left his body as if he'd been struck. How did she know? Tsunade wouldn't have went behind his back and told the others would she? Did Lee know? Was that why he was trying to push so much harder?
"Sakura mentioned something..." Tenten went on. "She told me not to mention it but...I didn't think it was something you wouldn't know about."
His silence was saying it all. Yes, he knew about it. And no, he hadn't told Lee. His body language was betraying him as he tried to regain his wits and put some air back into his lungs. Every breath hurt though. Thinking about what happened was one thing. But having it vocalized made it all so real and worse than he imagined.
"I don't know why the Hokage would do that...but..."
"She's worried about Lee's safety." he managed.
Tenten's eyes widened.
"Why? He got hurt but all shinobi get hurt. It's..."
"It's not just that he got hurt. It's that he's been getting hurt again and again." he forced himself to look straight at the girl. "Under my care. You know...I taught Lee forbidden techniques." if he couldn't be honest with Lee, at least he could be honest with someone.
"Yeah...but it's not like you're the first. And you told him not to use them unless he had to. I was at the castle, sensei. I know what you were up against. If you two hadn't used..."
"That isn't the point. The point is I taught him, and it could have killed him." there was a strange emotion that settled in his eyes. A mix between horror and grief. "In teaching him that, I could have put all of your lives in danger. If he had ever used that against Neji as I intended to let him in the final round...he could have killed him."
Tenten's face paled, and Guy felt as if he'd slapped her.
"Then why..."
"Because I wasn't thinking about that. I was only thinking of helping Lee and I let my emotions cloud my judgment. I should have never taught him that."
Tenten nodded. Then this wasn't just about him worrying about Lee. Guy was worried about all of them and doubting himself as a teacher. He was worried he would put them all in jeopardy.
"After the fight with Gaara, I never told him to rest. I never explained to him why limits can be a good thing sometimes. Even I have mine, and there are some I don't push. Such as opening the eighth gate. But I never told him that and now..." he rubbed between his eyes, ignoring the way he smeared blood on his face as he turned away from Tenten towards the trunk, and began striking it again.
'Have I done the same to you and Neji?' he wanted to ask. He always tried to push them all has much as possible, but had it affected them in the same way? He was never that close with Neji, though he tried and though few, there were times the boy would come to ask him for help. With Tenten though...he was almost as worried as he was about Lee. She was known for her independence and her easy going manner, but ever since she was five he had acted as somewhat of a father to her. Could he have done something throughout the years that would hurt her later? He quickly ran through as many lessons as he could remember, trying to be certain he had never taught her anything foolish.
He didn't think he had...though he had come close one time. Part of him was still debating teaching her a special trick to use with the weapon scrolls she carried, but after what happened with Lee, he wasn't sure.
It was ironic in a way. He had once told Lee that all his hard work was useless unless he believed in himself. Now, years later he was at a similar place, with doubts of his own.
"Guy-sensei..." Tenten bit her lip as she came closer, and he turned to look at her once again. Before he could blink she had launched herself at him and was wrapping her arms around him in a fierce protective hug.
"Tenten..."
"It's not your fault." she said as she held tighter. "Maybe it was stupid to teach him those techniques, but it's not your fault he got hurt. Back then Gaara would have tried to kill whoever he was fighting." she pulled away some, so she was looking straight up into his eyes. "As for pushing him, you're the only one who ever has. Lee needed that. At the academy none of the teachers ever did that. Even I never pushed him."
Guy hid a smirk. Tenten never pushed Lee, because she was always there to try and fight his battles. He still remembered one day when he had to pick her up because she'd beaten up a boy who'd called Lee a loser.
"Then you came along and...I don't know what you did. But you inspired Lee. It was like watching someone pick up broken pieces and make them into something that no one expected." a smile lit her face as she touched a scar on her cheek that had been the result of one of her father's drunken rages. Guy had treated it along with the others. "You're good at that you know. Fixing things no one else thinks to."
His chest swelled and his eyes burned. Wonderful. Of all the times to cry! Why did his students always have this affect on him?
"So...just quit worrying alright? Even if you've made mistakes before, that doesn't mean you can't make better decisions today. The Guy-sensei I know, would be the first to agree with me." her dark brown eyes latched onto his and Guy felt himself smiling despite the tears that were leaking out as he wrapped her in a crushing hug.
"Thank you, Tenten..." he said, squeezing harder. "I think...that is just what I needed to hear." who was he kidding? Lee wasn't leaving his team. Why did he even think about that? It was complete foolishness and as soon as he got back to Konoha he'd let Tsunade know that. If she insisted on it...well then he would go down as history as the first one to defy her and live! More than likely he would be broken all over, but he'd be alive.
"You're...welcome..." Tenten gasped. "But...you're crushing me..." she wheezed and instantly Guy let up.
"Hehheh. Sorry..." he ruffled her hair, shinning a genuine grin. "And I did not mean to burden you with such things. It..."
"Don't worry, sensei. Even you need a dose of self confidence once in awhile." she beamed as she grabbed his hand. "Now, lets get back to the hot springs!"
Guy chuckled as he followed behind her and for the first time he felt some sort of relief. He still needed to talk to Lee, but now it didn't seem as hard as he thought it would be. All he had to do was explain why he'd been acting how he had and just talk to the boy. Lee would understand.
Taking in a deep breath of forest air, Guy let it fill his lungs and then smirked as he looked at Tenten.
"Last one back does two hundred laps!" he yelled and took off with a dash.
"What? No! Sensei!" Tenten cried as she took after him. "C'mon! That's so not fair!" she whined.
Guy only laughed louder, kicking up dust behind him as he ran.
"I'm not even going full speed!"
"Well...ugh!"
He knew he'd win from the second he started, but Guy decided against making Tenten do two hundred laps. Maybe just fifty. A little exercise was good for the heart! As well as good for keeping doubts at bay. Tenten's words were like an ointment he'd desperately needed, but the wound created earlier was still there and it still throbbed. He just needed to talk to Lee is all. Once the boy understood then everything would be fine. All he needed was a little bit of luck along...
"SAKURA! LOOK OUT!"
Guy had a split second to see everything happen as he snapped his full attention in front of him and watched as Sakura crossed his path, only to be shoved out of the way by Lee. He tried to stop. He pulled back and tried to stop, but he was going to fast and before his student had a chance to move, he'd careened right into the boy. Slamming him to the ground and skidding a few feet as they both rolled in the dirt and over rocks. He heard something snap as it happened and he felt his entire face drain of color as he dug his hands into the ground to come to a halt. When he did, he was up in a flash, and over at Lee's side.
"Lee! Are you alright? Lee..." he helped turn the boy over onto his back and ease him into a sitting position. Lee let out a soft groan as he sat in the dirt, and Guy instantly began inspecting him.
"I'm fine sensei. I'm alright." Lee said.
"I heard something crack..." Guy said only to have Lee point off the side where his crutch lay in two pieces against a rock. He let a shaking breath. Lee was alright. He was fine and safe and nothing was wrong. He was fine. "They certainly don't make those things like they...Lee. Don't try and stand." he put his hand on Lee's shoulders, but then saw Lee wasn't trying to stand up. He was pushing himself into a kneeling position, and soon had his forehead pressed to the dirt. "What..."
"I am sorry, Guy-sensei. I...I shouldn't have argued with you. It's not my place to ask you why...I am really truly sorry. Please forgive me." his tone was mixture of thick and numb at the same time.
"Lee...Lee it's alright." he pushed the boy back up, but when he looked into his eyes, he felt like he had been struck by lightning. They looked so...dead. There was a smile on his face, but his eyes looked completely blank. Like he had lost all the fire in them and the embers that remained were dying out.
Lee...
"Is he alright?" Sakura came up behind him, and kneeled down.
Guy nodded automatically.
"Yes, he's fine." from the fall, yes. Lee seemed to be alright. But the look in his eyes told Guy he was far from fine. This was in fact, probably the worst he had ever looked. But why did he look like this? What had happened...did Sakura tell him?
"I have promised Sakura that I will not train for awhile and I make that same promise to you, sensei. I'm sorry, I disappointed or worried you." it was all he had to say for Guy to feel like someone had stuck a knife into his gut and twisted with everything they had.
He needed to talk to him. He needed to talk to him so bad about what happened and...but not right now. Right now his mouth was dry, his heart was cracking, and the harder he tried to find the student he knew and loved behind those dead eyes, the harder it was to see a flicker of him.
"Lets...talk about it later. I have something I need to speak with you about later anyways." he said, carefully helping the boy to his feet, and guiding him inside. Sakura picked up the crutch and when she spilled out of the forest, Tenten took Lee's other arm around her shoulder.
All the while, voices continued to whisper to both student and teacher. Voices of doubts, fears, and twisted memories, that haunted them long after they stepped into the inn, and long after they went to bed that night.
To Be Continued...
A/N: Hope you guys like it, and I promise the next update will not be that far from now. Please let me know what you think and have a great day.
Be Blessed
Your friend
innocent-rebel