Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thanks as always to Ms. Ambrosia and Browns. They put up with my tense changes, my plot issues and the fact that I still have a hard time knowing when to use laid, lay or lie. I can't thank them enough for sticking with me through it all. They're the best and I heart them, lots.

BPOV

I woke up early to call Dr. Reilly's office and hopefully reschedule my appointment. They informed me that they weren't able to get me in until the end of the month, which was another two and a half weeks away. Dr. Reilly was one of the best OB/GYN doctors in the state of Washington and was in high demand. It was only because of Edward's intervention that I had been able to get an appointment with him in the first place. I briefly considered trying to find another gynecologist, but ultimately decided it wasn't worth the trouble. After being off the pill all these months, there was no way another few weeks would make much of a difference. Before I hung up with the receptionist, I made sure she had my cell phone on file as my primary number instead of the apartment phone and told them I would see them at the end of the month.

After making the call, I went to the bathroom and realized that there was no reason for us to worry that one of our unprotected moments had resulted in a pregnancy.

I had gotten my period.

I let a few tears escape. I had worried – and hoped – for weeks that our actions during our weekend away as well as our moments of comfort after Tanya dropped her lie might have resulted in Baby Cullen. Part of me was relieved to know the worry was over, and this wasn't something else we would have to figure out how to deal with at this point in our relationship. We had more than enough on our plate already, thank you very much.

Yet there was another part – it was smaller, but it still existed – that had almost hoped that those moments would have resulted in me carrying Edward's child. I had no doubt that the two of us were meant to be together forever and a child would have been a symbol of our lifelong love and devotion to each other.

I gave myself a few moments to allow that part of me to feel some sorrow before accepting what was and moving on. There would be time for babies later and I wouldn't allow myself to wallow in something that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Edward was lying in bed awake when I came out of the bathroom, smiling at me as I padded across the room toward him. Sliding back into bed, I snuggled up against his bare chest.

"I think this is my favorite spot ever." I nuzzled my nose into the light hair sprinkled across his pecs and he chuckled underneath me.

"I'd be ecstatic if you stayed there forever."

We laid there silently for a bit, just enjoying the quietness between us. My brain, though, reminded me that there was something I should be talking to him about and there was no better time than the present.

"Babe?"

"Hmmm?" He kissed the top of my head and I tightened the arm I had slung over his stomach to squeeze him.

"You asked me the other day what made me finally call to get some help with everything…"

He tensed beneath me, just a little, but enough for me to notice. "Yeah?"

"It was something more than just taking your advice." He tensed further and his arms came up, trying to move me from where I was wrapped around him. I knew he wanted to look at me, but I needed to get through this and I didn't know if I could while he was looking at me.

"No, just…let me just get this out first, okay?"

"Okay."

I sighed and started again. "The night you came home in the middle of your shift to tell me about Tanya and the baby? Later that night, I had… an incident. I was getting ready for bed, and I was just standing in front of the bathroom mirror when suddenly I looked up and…I just wasn't here any longer. I was back in Jacksonville, in the hospital, and I could see all my wounds and bruises and hear Charlie calling to me through the door. The next thing I knew, I was back here in the present, on the floor covered in vomit." I looked up at him. "I don't know what happened or why. It was the night I called Dr…the therapist."

This time I didn't stop him when he turned us both so we were lying on our sides facing each other. His eyes were wide and his hand came up and drifted over my cheek. "Jesus, Bella. Why didn't you tell me?"

I closed my eyes. "It wasn't that I was trying to keep it from you, but I couldn't tell you while you were at work or over the phone. By the time you got off shift, it had been a couple of days, my appointment was set up and I still had to hear the whole story about Tanya. I just…I promise, I wasn't trying to keep it from you."

I needed him to believe me. I was walking a very fine line between traveling this journey on my own so I could get better and letting Edward in enough to support me. It was a line I was worried about and I knew I was going to make mistakes – kind of like I had the night before. I hoped he had the patience to deal with me when I messed up, because as much as I wanted to do this on my own, I also knew I couldn't imagine doing it without him standing beside me.

He was silent for a bit and I finally opened my eyes to see what he was doing. His eyes instantly met mine and they held everything I hoped for – love and understanding. Leaning forward, Edward placed a gentle kiss on my lips that didn't last nearly long enough before he pulled back.

"Have you ever had one of those flashbacks before?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Okay. Thank you for telling me. I assume you told your doctor about this?"

An eyebrow rose when I bit my lip and didn't say anything. "Bella…"

Burying my face in his chest, I spoke. "It was my first time meeting the guy; please cut me some slack, okay? I was lucky I was even able to walk into his office."

Edward sighed. "Baby, you have to tell him. These are the kinds of things he needs to know in order to make sure he's helping you in the right way."

"I know, I know. It's just easier said than done sometimes, you know?"

His fingers ran through my hair. "I know."

There were no more words after that; instead we just lay there and enjoyed being together.

Eventually though, we decided to get up and face the day. We showered and dressed, and talked about what we wanted to do that evening.

Edward was making us sandwiches in the kitchen, while I sat at the island, flipping through Facebook on my laptop.

"I was thinking that since I have to work all weekend, we should go out for dinner tonight, you know, romantic date night or something." Edward sliced a tomato and looked up at me expectantly.

I nodded. "That sounds wonderful. Where do you want to go?"

"Emmett told me about this Mexican restaurant that just opened near Rosalie's place; they went there not long ago. How does that sound?"

"Perfect. I love Mexican."

As usual though, things didn't go exactly as planned.

When Edward called Emmett for the name of the restaurant, Emmett decided that it would be more fun if we all hung out together and played laser tag. Edward tried to argue and get us out of it, but couldn't hold out against Emmett's determination. He pouted, mentioning that the Cullen siblings and their significant others hadn't seen each other in a while and we should spend some quality bonding time together.

So our Friday night date night turned into Friday night Family Laser Tag night.

Emmett had chosen a place outside of Seattle called Laser Quest, and we decided to all drive down together in his SUV. From the minute he picked us up, he started talking smack.

"Little brother, you're going down. I'm going to beat your ass so bad you'll be crying for Mommy at the end of the night!"

"Mommy, Em? Really? You're over thirty. I think you can start calling her Mom now." Edward quipped back, rolling his eyes at his brother's ridiculousness.

"Shut it, punk. You know what I meant. Ass," he grumbled from the front seat.

Alice laughed at Em's disgruntled expression, which was easy to see when he glanced over his shoulder to give Edward the stink eye. Meanwhile, I had a death grip on Edward's hand in the back seat, biting my lip to keep from screaming at Emmett to watch the road. Rose smacked his arm lightly, forcing him to face front once again. I sighed in relief and Edward squeezed my hand.

We arrived at Laser Quest in one piece and Emmett was the first one out of the car. Rosalie sighed and turned to me.

"I'm apologizing in advance for him. He has no shame and loves to compete. I made him promise to behave, but honestly…"

I smiled. "No one can control Emmett; I understand."

Rose grinned back at me and linked her arm through mine, walking us inside. Alice and Edward followed behind.

Emmett was chatting anxiously with the guy behind the counter, who he seemed to be on a first name basis with.

"Emmett knows the laser tag guy?" I leaned over and whispered into Edward's ear.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Em takes his laser tag very seriously. I swear he has a membership, he's here so often. I think it's his way of practicing his aim or something. When he says he's shooting at the range, I think he really means he's here playing."

The guy behind the counter shuffled us over to the mission area, where someone else was there to give us a quick orientation and rules for the game before having us suit up. Edward winked at me as he tightened the belt around my waist.

"You ready, baby?"

"I guess so. Are we on the same team?" I hadn't truly been paying attention when the girl who was giving us the orientation was talking, and I had no idea what I was walking into.

Edward explained that we were playing a solo game, so it was every man – and woman – for themselves.

He gave me a quick run down as we walked into the arena. Hide. Don't get hit. Physical hits were illegal. Once you got hit, you were out of the game for at least five seconds. If time was called and you had the most lives at the end, you won.

I tried to get my bearings as we walked inside the arena, but the lights were already down low and it was difficult to see anything. The girl asked if we had any last minute questions and when we said no, she wished us luck and stepped out.

The lights went out and the music came pouring in at a deafening level.

I heard Emmett give a shout and decided I'd better run or I was going to be the first one shot. Rose, Alice and Edward had already scattered.

I had one thing going in my favor. I might not have been able to hide without being found, but I was an excellent shot. My father was the type of cop who was convinced there were bad guys on every corner, so he did all he could to make sure I was protected. He made sure I grew up knowing how to shoot a gun.

Many might consider it bragging, but I had excellent aim.

Emmett wasn't going to know what hit him.

Twenty minutes later we walked out of the arena, Emmett with a stupefied look on his face. Rose was doing her best to contain her smile, but Alice and Edward had no such qualms, letting loose with huge belly laughs that left them gasping for breath.

"I just don't…how? I'm a fucking cop, for Christ's sake. How the hell did some puny English professor beat me?" Emmett was moaning as we turned in our gear and the guy behind the counter printed up our score sheets, handing them to Rose.

"The puny English professor grew up with a dad who was also a cop. He taught me how to shoot before I was thirteen." I winked at Emmett. Edward walked beside me and slid his hand into mine. Bringing it to his lips, he smiled.

"You are my hero. Thank you for giving me something that will allow me to torture my brother for years to come."

Getting back in the car, we drove back toward Seattle, discussing where we should eat dinner. Emmett was still grumbling about losing, especially since he was the one who had made the last minute bet that the loser had to buy the winner dinner. I almost felt bad when he couldn't seem to let it go, but Rosalie assured me that he'd get over it. "Losing is good for him from time to time. It teaches him a little humility, which he needs in droves."

We ended up at a pizza joint near Emmett and Edward's condo, a place that Em swore had the best pizza ever. He wasn't wrong; it was delicious. We polished off a couple of pitchers of beer as well, and I was feeling all sorts of tipsy by the time we got home. I barely remembered Edward kissing me softly as he poured me into bed.

"Bella? Bella, sweetheart? Are you ready to go? Phil's starving. He's ready to get to the game and chow down on some stadium dogs."

I call out through the bathroom door where I'm inside getting ready. "I'll be out in a second!"

I take one last look around the bathroom, making sure I haven't missed anything I should have packed. It's the last day of our trip and we're heading to Turner field to watch the Atlanta Braves play the Los Angeles Dodgers. After the game is over, we're driving the five and a half hours back to Jacksonville. Mom had tried to get Phil to stay overnight in Atlanta, but he said between the three of us, we should have no trouble making the trip.

I take a deep breath and run my hand across my forehead. I have a pounding headache and it's causing me to be nauseous. I didn't sleep well last night, only catching an hour or two thanks to an uncomfortable hotel bed. I'm debating asking Mom and Phil if I could hang out here for a bit and rest, and catch a cab to the stadium a bit later. However, I know we have to check out, so it's pointless. I'm hoping Mom has some Advil or Aleve on her.

The baseball game lasts until almost six in the evening and by the time it's over, my headache is back with a vengeance. I'm hoping Mom or Phil won't mind driving the first leg of the trip home so I can rest in the back seat.

Rest does not come easy. I'm tossing, turning, and the air conditioner in the car is on the fritz. August in the south is scorching, so this is not the time to be without one.

We stop for dinner and it seems everyone is wilting a bit under the weight of the heat and the long trip we've been on for the last month. Mom keeps talking about sleeping in her own bed and I know exactly how she feels. My mind flits to Joe and I sigh, realizing we haven't talked in almost a week. Things had been tense when I left Sacramento for Florida, and I'd hoped the trip would have given me some time and space to figure out what to do about our relationship.

It hasn't.

Mom drives this leg of the trip with Phil passed out in the backseat. My head still hurts, but it's tolerable. My stomach is turning and I just feel… off. I can't get comfortable in the front seat and I'm feeling bitchy thanks to the heat and my discomfort.

Mom and I talk for a while about nothing of importance; we tell our favorite memories from the trip and she asks me if I'm looking forward to going back to California soon. We discuss my possible plans for Christmas and she tells me that she and Phil might come out to see me since I've been here with them all summer. We discuss the possibility of getting Charlie to come down from Washington to join us for the holiday, and both of us agree that we have a good chance of convincing him.

It amazes me sometimes that my parents have been able to have such a good relationship despite their divorce. I'm thankful for it.

Our conversation ebbs and flows until we finally fall silent and I lean back, watching the passing scenery. It's twilight, and the sun has sunk low in the horizon. I hum along to the songs on the radio and hope that maybe I'll find a comfortable position so I can get some rest.

I'm not sure how long I've been asleep when I feel Mom shake me awake.

"Bella, would you mind driving for a bit? I'm so tired." Renee does her best to stifle a yawn, but doesn't quite succeed.

"Yeah, sure." She finds a rest area to pull over and we all climb out of the car to take a bathroom break. We're back in our seats minutes later, with Phil still in the back and Mom taking the passenger's seat.

The night grows darker and both Mom and Phil fall asleep, leaving me with only the radio to keep me company. I curse the few hours of sleep I got last night, and the fact that I didn't get a nap this afternoon. The window is rolled down as far as it can go, but the breeze is still warm, which does not help to keep me awake. I debate turning the radio up, but don't want to disturb my mom and Phil.

Finally, I see the sign that welcomes us to Jacksonville. I'm within ten miles of Mom and Phil's house and I can feel my body relax with the knowledge that we're so close and I'll be able to sleep soon.

It sneaks up on me out of nowhere. One minute I'm yawning, and the next thing I see is a car bearing down on us. My sense of direction is off and I'm not even sure where we're orientated on the road. I have no time to react, no time to swerve out of the way. By the time I even notice the car, I hear the squeal of breaks, the crunch of metal…

"Bella! Bella, baby, wake up. Jesus, wake up! Bella!"

I heard his voice before I registered his words, and it took me a few seconds before I stopped screaming. It took a few seconds longer for me to get my bearings.

I was in Edward's arms, where he was holding me tight against his chest. The pounding of both our hearts was echoing in my head. There were tears streaming out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

I had to vomit.

I pushed against Edward but it took a few tries before he let me go. I yelped in pain when my hip twisted as I tried to climb over him. Untangling myself from Edward and the sheets, I limped swiftly toward the bathroom. I made it to the toilet just in time, Edward right behind me.

He rubbed my back as I purged my dream into the white porcelain, whispering words of comfort and love as I sobbed and shook with the remnants of my nightmare. I heard a noise and lifted my head weakly to see Alice standing in the doorway. I barely registered how pale and nervous she looked before my stomach heaved again.

Edward stayed where he was behind me, and spoke quietly to Alice. I caught the words "clothes…hospital…call…" before I realized what he must have been telling her.

"Not….going…" I rasped out, hoping he understood what I was telling him.

I felt him lean his forehead against my back. "Baby, you need to get checked out."

"No…I'm…fine…" My throat burned with the acid from the bile I'd thrown up and it hurt to push the words out.

"Bella." Edward lifted his head and spoke into my hair. "I want you to get looked over and make sure you're okay. With the vomiting and screaming, and the way you went leaping off the bed, I'm afraid you may have hurt yourself. Please go and get looked at."

Sighing, I fell back away from the toilet and into his chest. I was weak, my limbs heavy and my body covered in sweat. My head pounded, my hip hurt and my throat ached. My breath was still coming in heavy pants and I could feel my pulse racing.

I felt like I got hit by a truck…all over again.

Suddenly, I began laughing. My previous thought struck me as funny and I couldn't seem to contain the giggles that burst out of me. It hurt, but I couldn't stop myself. Then just as quickly as it began, my laughter turned to sobs.

I heard Edward say something to Alice, but I was crying too hard to make out his words. I barely noticed when he removed his body from mine, or when he picked me up and carried me in his arms. When I realized he was taking me out of my bedroom, I just cried harder.

I tried my best to slow my sobs, but I couldn't seem to gain control.

"Oh, sweetheart …"

I barely registered the car ride to the hospital or Edward carrying me into the E.R. I thought I heard Alice at one point, but I was so exhausted that nothing around me was sinking in to my numb brain. My head and body felt overloaded and I did the only thing that made sense.

I drifted off into the numbness.

I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep before I woke. What I did register was that I was at home in my own bed, which was a huge relief.

My body still felt heavy and I had a slight headache. However, the panic that had overtaken me the night before had settled into a sort of calm acceptance, and for that I was thankful.

It was the first time that I had dreamt the actual, accurate memory of what happened the night of the accident. It obviously affected me in a way I hadn't been prepared for – but then again, how do you prepare for something like that?

Dr. Whitlock was going to have a field day with me on Tuesday.

Once I realized that in the light of day I was actually okay – or at least better than I was – my worry for Edward and Alice overtook me. It had to be incredibly scary for them to see me like that, especially since it was the first time they had seen me react to a nightmare in such a way. I was somewhat used to it, as it was reminiscent of how my dreams were when I first woke up from my coma.

Edward was scheduled to work, although he wasn't scheduled to go in until that evening. I was glad, as I didn't want what happened the previous night hanging over us for three days while he was at the hospital.

I gingerly rolled out of bed, testing my weight on my hip before walking toward the bathroom. There was no pain, not even a hint of an ache, which made me happy that I hadn't done any permanent damage during my mad dash.

After taking care of my bladder, I undressed and stepped into the shower. The warm water felt good against my skin, loosening my tense muscles. It also helped clear my head and drive away the remains of whatever medication they had given me in the hospital. I had no doubt they drugged me to calm me.

I didn't turn when I heard the shower door open, knowing it could only be one person. His scent surrounded me in the steam-filled chamber and I breathed in deeply, letting it calm me further. His arms came around my waist and I felt his lips leave a kiss on my shoulder.

"Hi," I whispered, moving my hands up to thread my fingers through his where they laid across my stomach.

"How're you doing?" His voice too was quiet and I leaned my head back against his shoulder as the water pounded down our skin.

"Better. I feel…better."

He didn't respond, instead he just kissed the spot where my shoulder met my neck. We stood that way for a while, silently wrapped up in one another. After a bit, Edward moved and when I protested, he brought his hands around my body once more to show that he had my shower gel in his hand.

"May I?" he asked, his voice still low.

I nodded and his hands disappeared only to show up moments later on my back. His hands and fingers slipped and slid over my skin, kneading where my muscles were tight, ghosting over others. His movements weren't sexual, instead full of just love and tenderness. He moved from my body to my hair, massaging my scalp to work the shampoo into my wet tresses. Once I was rinsed off and my body was sufficiently cleaned and pliant, he quickly washed himself before turning off the water and stepping out the shower.

I followed him and he was there, as he always was, holding a towel for me. His was slung low across his hips and despite the lack of sexual mood that was around us, I felt a shot of lust at the sight. Seeing the look on my face, he gave me his crooked grin before wrapping me up in the fluffy cloth.

We both dressed and I went to dry my hair while he made the bed and straightened up the room a bit. When I was done, I joined him where he was sitting on the bed, leaning back against the headboard. Edward pulled me into his arms and I laid my head against his chest.

"I'm sorry about last night," I murmured quietly. I didn't want to break the comfortable silence that had settled around us, but I knew we needed to talk.

I wondered if we'd ever get to a point in our relationship where we could enjoy moments like this without having to talk about anything.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about. I'm sorry you had such a bad nightmare." His hand ran over my head in a soothing motion and my eyes closed at the gesture.

"It was a memory more than a dream, really. I dreamt about exactly what happened the day and night of the accident." My throat got tight and I swallowed against the tears I knew were coming. "So…yeah."

I felt his lips against the crown of my head. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I sniffled and wiped my nose and eyes before I answered. "No. Maybe in a day or two, but not now. I feel better, but still…raw…from it, if that makes sense?"

"Yeah, it makes sense." His hand moved from my hair to my back and I snuggled further into his chest.

"I'm sorry you had to take me to the hospital."

Edward sighed. "I'm sorry I had to take you. But between your screaming and vomiting, I was afraid you had done some damage to your throat. Plus, you were so…out of it…I knew you didn't have anything here to calm you down and I was afraid without it…" He trailed off, unable to voice his fear, but I understood what he wasn't able to say.

Still rubbing his hand in soothing motions across my back, he continued. "They re-filled your prescription for the Vistaril and said you should rest your voice as much as possible, eat soft foods for a couple of days, and definitely nothing spicy." Edward paused. "Are you seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist? Or a mental health counselor?"

"A psychiatrist. Why?"

"Well, whomever you were seeing should know what happened last night as well as what medication you're on, but a psychiatrist can adjust it and change it if need be without having to go through your primary care physician. It…saves a step, so to speak."

"Oh." The type of doctor Dr. Whitlock was hadn't factored into my decision to see him; he was just who had been recommended to me. I supposed it would explain why he asked me to give the okay for him to have access to my medical records from my time in Jacksonville.

The silence settled over us once again and I was on the verge of falling back to sleep when Edward spoke.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Edward left for work with lots of kisses and hugs, and made me promise before he left that I would call if I had another nightmare. Alice was going to sleep with me with the hopes that if I did have one, she could wake me up before I did any more damage to my throat. Other than taking the pills prescribed to me and continuing with my therapy, there was no true way of preventing them, but it was everyone's hope that with someone close by it would keep me from having to fight through one for too long.

Both Esme and my father called to check on me. Alice had called them from the hospital to let them know I was there, since at the time, they were unsure if they were going to have to admit me. Alice was convinced the only reason the hospital let me go home was that Edward was going to be with me; he had fought tool and nail against them keeping me there, knowing it would only make me panic when I finally woke.

Charlie was his normal stoic self, but I could hear the relief in his voice when we spoke. He tried to crack some lame jokes, which I laughed at not only to make him feel better, but because they were kind of funny.

He took the news of me seeing Dr. Whitlock the same way he had always taken news of things that made him uncomfortable – a few questions, some "hmms" and then changing the subject. I hadn't wanted to tell him, but he had been bugging me about talking to someone for months now and I supposed it was time to let him know I was finally taking his advice. Once he knew I was doing what he had asked of me, the subject was closed as far as he was concerned. This "touchy-feely stuff" wasn't something he needed to know about – he just wanted to make sure I was doing what I needed to do in order to get better.

Esme, on the other hand, wanted to know every little detail, down to exactly what happened last night, what had caused the nightmare – if anything – and how I was going to deal with it. It was a bit easier talking to her about it, but I still felt strange. I was not used to baring the details of my life, especially the parts of it I was struggling with. As usual though, Esme was her kind and loving, non-judgmental self. I felt a little lighter after speaking with her.

The next three days passed swiftly and before I knew it, I was sitting in Dr. Whitlock's office explaining what happened on Friday night. He took a few notes, made some non-committal noises and, when I was done, he looked at me, his expression full of kindness.

"Are the nightmares a common thing?" he asked, looking at me over the rim of his glasses.

"Not so much lately. I had them nightly from the moment I woke up from the coma, but they tapered off once I got to rehab. They started up again when I moved back to Forks, and then again when I started seeing my boyfriend." I shrugged, not completely sure how to explain myself. Some weeks I went without having them at all – at least not that I could remember anyway. But since meeting Edward, and especially since he convinced me to start talking about things, I'd been having them more often.

"Okay. We'll explore what's happening around you when these cycles seem to start and see if we can find a connection. It's very likely it's just your subconscious's way of dealing with the trauma and loss you suffered. I think as we continue our work, you'll see them taper off once again, but we'll just have to get you through them until that happens. There's a number of ways we can try and deal with them, including using meditation and yoga." He took another look at his notes. "Do you like the medication you're on?"

I shrugged again. "I…guess. It helps with the panic attacks, usually."

"If you're comfortable staying on the Vistaril for when you have the actual attacks, we'll keep you on that. I would, however, like to talk about maybe having you go on some meds to help with your day-to-day anxiety and depression."

Blowing out a breath, I stopped myself from immediately saying no. It was not something I wanted to do, but maybe the medication would help. I was constantly stressed and worried, and even I couldn't deny that I was depressed, even if I was better since Edward entered my life.

He was my safe haven, but he wasn't my cure-all and I couldn't start treating him as such.

"I won't lie, I'm not a fan of the drug thing. But if you think it'll help, then I'll try it."

Dr. Whitlock regarded me over his glasses once more. "It's an option and one I'd like to explore. There are many different ways for people to deal with their day-to-day worries and stresses. But in your case, I think if we go with a short-term plan, to help you as you navigate your way toward getting healthy, you'll be okay. We'll explore different options of how to mange your stress once you're feeling a little more even in your life. But if you're willing, we'll find some meds that work for you and see how it goes."

I nodded slowly. "Okay."

"I'm still waiting on your records from Florida, but they promised to get them to me this week. I know we haven't discussed the actual accident or your resulting injuries, but we'll take our time with that as well." Dr. Whitlock gave me a small smile. "Bella, this is a process, and it's one that will take time. We'll go through it step by step. Having an accurate record of what you were dealing with physically will help me in drawing a total picture of where you were, so I can best decide how to get you where you want to be. Does that make sense?"

"Actually, yes, it does."

Dr. Whitlock gave me a brighter smile. "Good. Just based on what you've told me so far, I can tell that you're going to get through this journey just fine. You're a strong woman and I'm proud of you for taking these steps. I know they're scary, but you'll be healthier for it in the end."

His words made something inside of me release and I felt a bit lighter as I walked out of his office.

Over the next couple of weeks, I settled into a routine. I would work or go to my office hours, and see Dr. Whitlock twice a week. He never rushed me to share more than I was ready to, though he did sometimes ask leading questions, especially once he got my records. He never came out and said it, but I got the feeling he was probing for something more than I was giving him. I couldn't imagine what it was though, as I had told him as much as I remembered from that night and after I woke up from my coma. We briefly touched on the subject of Joe, but it was something Dr. Whitlock said we'd come back to.

The nightmares continued, especially on nights after my therapy appointments. If Edward wasn't beside me soothing and comforting me, Alice was. All three of us were exhausted, but the two of them refused to leave me alone to deal with them. Dr. Whitlock did not seem overly concerned; he just kept reminding me that this was my mind's way of dealing with what I had been through. He was sure that they would taper off as my therapy continued.

I had to believe him or I'd go mad.

Despite the nightmares though, things were going better than I had expected. Therapy wasn't the hardship I thought it was going to be and I sometimes found myself wanting to go see Dr. Whitlock just to purge what I was feeling on any particular day. The journaling helped for when we didn't have an appointment scheduled and I found myself writing pages upon pages of feelings and memories, along with everyday things almost daily. I tended to write more when Edward was working, since I had the time and the privacy.

He was never nosy about my journal, although I saw him look at it speculatively from time to time. However, he respected my need to not share everything with him and didn't push. Writing was easier when he wasn't around though, because when he was, all I wanted to do was spend my time focused on him – on us.

The last weekend in March, Edward surprised me. He had Friday and Saturday off and decided that we needed a break – and needed to give Alice one as well.

"I can't believe you're doing this again." I moaned from the front seat of his Volvo. "Why won't you tell me where we're going?"

It was Friday night and he had been waiting for me when I had gotten home from class. He looked amazingly hot and sexy in a black suit with a red tie. He had red tulips waiting for me as I walked through the door and I almost swooned when he handed them to me.

"Good evening, my love." He winked at me as he handed me the bouquet.

"H - hi. What's all this?" I asked, sniffing the flowers and allowing my eyes to rake over his body.

"A surprise. There's a vase on the counter for the flowers and a dress hanging up in the bathroom for you to change into. Pack a bag for overnight, because we're not staying here."

My mouth dropped open in surprise. "That's…I'm…okay then…"

He gave me his big crooked smile and, with his hand on the small of my back, gently pushed me toward the kitchen. "Go get ready, baby. We've got reservations."

Which is how I found myself in his car wondering what the love of my life was going to surprise me with that night.

My eyes widened as we pulled up to the restaurant. "Canlis?" I asked, breathlessly. It had been on my to-do list ever since I had seen the pictures Jessica had shown me after her parents brought her there to celebrate our graduation from high school. It was all glass, rock and wood and, from what I heard, had stunning views of Lake Union.

Edward just winked at me as we walked inside. After he spoke to someone, I expected us to be taken to the main dining room.

I forgot who I was dealing with.

We were led, instead, to the upper floor of the restaurant and into our own private dining room.

"Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan, welcome to the Caché. Your personal server is Jared; he'll be right with you." The man gave a slight nod of his head as he left the room.

I whirled around on Edward with wide eyes. "I…wow…"

"I love it when I leave you speechless." He leaned down and placed a soft kiss against my lips. I protested when he pulled away far too quickly, but he just swiped his thumb over my bottom lip. "Later."

Jared entered the room then and gave us the run down of our amenities, which included not only him as our personal server, but a telescope to look at the sky over the lake and a custom sound system. Edward handed Jared a disc with a smile and I shook my head at the lengths my boyfriend went to to make it an unforgettable evening.

We dined on oysters for our first course before moving on to King Salmon and Live Main Lobster for our main courses. Dessert consisted of something Jared called Chocolate Covered Chocolate and after the first bite, I swore I had died and gone to heaven.

We were stuffed by the time Jared left us to enjoy the lights twinkling on the lake and the soft music playing in the background. Edward had chosen well; they were light melodies that just added to the romantic atmosphere.

"Dance with me?" Edward stood in front of me, holding his hand out for me to take.

"Anytime." I took his hand and he led me over to the window before drawing me into his arms.

We swayed to the music for a time, just breathing in each other and enjoying our closeness. We only stopped when Edward pulled back and looked at me. "Ready for your next surprise?"

I grinned, unable to help myself. "There's more?"

"Of course." With a kiss, he led me back over to the table where Jared was waiting with our coats. Edward tipped him and we said our goodbyes, making our way back to the Volvo and onto my second surprise of the evening.

I could only shake my head as he pulled up to The Edgewater Hotel. "Oh. Wow."

"Come on, baby. I've got plans for you."

He had reserved us the Waterfront Junior Suite, which gave us sweeping views of Elliot Bay, and a balcony we could use to take in that view. The four-poster bed took up the majority of the room and with the fireplace in the corner, I couldn't picture anything more romantic.

Edward shut the door behind us and locked it, raising an eyebrow at me when he saw me standing by the bed, a smirk coming over his face. I gave him my best seductive look and started toward him.

"Dr. Cullen?" I ran my fingers over the buttons of his shirt.

"Yes, Professor Swan?" He winked at me and I felt myself go all hot and wet inside.

"I want you." His eyes widened just a bit; I was normally a bit on the shy side when it came to telling him what I wanted.

"You want what, exactly?"

I bit my lip and then grinned. "I want you…to fuck me."

Edward's eyes glazed over a bit. "Oh yeah?"

"Uh-huh. I want you inside of me…."

"You want what inside of you?" His hands came up and ran over my throat to my collarbone before stopping just above my breasts.

"I want your cock inside of me."

His hand immediately went to my waist and he pulled me toward him, grinding his erection into me. His head came down as his lips attacked my neck, kissing and biting up to my ear. "Where do you want my cock, baby?"

I moaned as his teeth closed over my earlobe. My nipples tightened into hard peaks against his chest and I could feel the wetness of my arousal between my legs. "In my… inside of me. I want you inside of me – now."

He reached his limit and so had I. With a growl, he pulled back and ripped his jacket, shirt and tie off in record time. I had thankfully gotten the zipper down on my dress because he had it over my head seconds later, before throwing it to the floor. The minute it was off, I reached for the button on his pants as he unclasped my bra. He had it off before I could get his fly down, his hands palming my breasts before moving so his fingers could pluck at my nipples. I threw my head back and his lips were against my throat before moving down to my chest. His lips closed over one nipple, his teeth pulling gently while his fingers played against the other one. I continued to struggle with getting his pants down, wanting him naked but not wanting him to stop the delicious torture he was putting my body through.

He pulled my hands away from his body and took them in his, leading me over to the bed. Giving me another sexy smirk, he slid my panties down my legs and laid me down on the bed. Edward was on his knees in front of me and with a wink, he buried his face in between my thighs.

I grasped his head, pulling him closer to me and holding on for dear life. His lips, teeth, tongue and fingers worked in tandem to have me shaking and begging for release.

"Edward, please!" I was prepared to beg him just to get some relief from the overwhelming sensations he was creating in my body.

He moved away from me for just a moment, and then his mouth was suddenly on mine. He kissed me hungrily, and I attacked his lips with just as much ferocity. He began to travel back down my body, but I grabbed at his head and pulled his face back to mine.

"Inside of me…I want you inside of me!" I whispered urgently against his lips.

His tongue plunged into my mouth, giving me a better taste of myself. I groaned at the intimacy that the act he just performed on me symbolized, running my fingers through his hair.

He separated from me just for an instant to grab a condom from his bag. Unable to wait for even the smallest second for him to return to me, my hand slid down my body and I slipped my fingers through my folds, finding my clit. My back arched at the sensation, and I licked my lips thinking of how good it would feel when Edward was finally inside of me.

He was back in front of me within seconds, his eyes darkened with desire and want as he watched my fingers play over my body. I swear I heard him growl before he leaned down and flipped me over onto my stomach.

"On your knees, baby…" I moaned at the lust I heard in his voice and the pleasure I knew was coming.

I lifted myself up, wiggling my ass a bit as I settled into a comfortable position. He settled behind me on the bed where he was now at the perfect height to enter me.

I glanced back at him over my shoulder and licked my lips once more. "Edward…"

He plunged inside me hard and fast. I was barely able to brace myself as he set a furious pace. My head hung down between my shoulders, my hair in curtains around my face. The room was filled with the sound of skin hitting skin, moans and pleas for more.

It was hard, fast, dirty – and I loved every second of it.

Thanks to his wonderfully tongue-enacted foreplay, it didn't take long for me to be on the edge of my release. I pulsed around him and heard him groan at the sensation.

"Bella…baby…uh…fuck! You feel…so damn…uh…oh…good!" He thrust into me deep and hard as his words came out from those gorgeous lips on breathless moans.

I came hard and fast, my arms collapsing, dropping my upper half to the bed. Edward had a firm grip on my hips and pounded into me mercilessly. He erupted not long after, roaring through his pleasure.

We both groaned at the sensation of him pulling out of me. He ran his hands over my hips and my backside in a comforting manner before moving away to deal with the condom. I sighed heavily as I rolled to my side and watched him through barely open eyes as he came back from the bathroom.

He gave me a lazy smirk as he crawled onto the bed with me. He lay down next to me so we were nose to nose, entangling his legs with mine.

"Hi," he whispered quietly once we settled comfortably.

"Hi," I answered back, just as softly.

Edward reached up and pushed a piece of hair off my cheek and put it behind my ear. "You okay?"

I grinned at him. "I'm freaking amazing, thank you very much."

I got an answering grin in return. "You got what you wanted huh, Professor Swan?"

"Uh huh."

His grin grew wider at my answer. "Well, I'm glad I could be of service." He leaned forward and kissed my nose and then moved down and kissed my lips.

We lay there until I shivered with cold. Swiftly, he had me gathered up and under the covers before I could blink. He threw on his boxer briefs to start a fire in the fireplace, but removed them before he got back into bed with me. This time we spooned, my back to his front, snuggling together as we watched the fire burn.

"I love you," Edward whispered in my ear.

"I love you, too. More than I ever imagined I could." I sighed, and bent my head to kiss the arm that was lying across my chest.

"Do you ever think about the future…our future?" His words were barely audible, but I caught them easily.

"Constantly." I didn't hesitate or even consider lying to him. I did think about our future; I thought about it all the time.

"What do you think about?" His nose skimmed across the back of my neck and I practically purred at the sensation.

"You really want to know?" My hands tightened where they lay against his arms, wondering if he'd really want to hear my secret fears and desires about our future together.

"Absolutely." His voice was a bit louder and his body seemed to tense slightly behind me.

I blew out a breath, giving me a second to put it all together in my head before I spoke.

"Well, if I'm having a bad day or if I've had a bad night, I wonder if we'll make it through unscathed. Sometimes I wonder if you'll continue to love me despite all my issues, or if you'll walk away when you get tired of dealing with my drama."

His arms squeezed me to him. "Baby…"

"But." I stressed the word so he'd let me continue. "Most of the time I think about living with you. I wonder how it'd feel to live together full time, rather than just this makeshift living together we've been doing for the last couple of months. I think about…good things, like vacations and lazy days in bed. I think about happily ever after."

The future I hoped and dreamed of with Edward was never far from my thoughts.

"Can I ask what this happily ever after consists of?" His lips were at my neck again, leaving a trail of kisses up to my jaw.

Normally, this question would make me pause, make me wonder if telling him what I really wanted would scare him off. However, being wrapped up in his arms, lying in this hotel suite after spending the most romantic night ever with the man I loved, I couldn't be anything but honest with him.

"I think about houses and puppies, weddings and honeymoons. I think about coming home from work, checking the mail and cooking dinner. I think about yelling at you to put down the toilet seat down and pick up your socks off the floor. I think about making love in a bed that's ours and sharing kisses over breakfast in the morning. I think about babies and being a soccer mom. But mostly, I dream of just being with you – forever."

He flipped us so I was on my back on the bed while he hovered over me. I looked up into his eyes and saw them shining with happiness. His whole face radiated love and I couldn't help but smile at the vision he created.

"I think about the all same things, all the time. I never want to be without you, Bella. Ever."

A tear fell from my eye and Edward reached up with his thumb to wipe it away. "I wasn't going to do this exactly this way, but sometimes the moment just seems to fit." He paused and I felt my breath catch, wondering what he had planned.

He wasn't going to ask me to marry him, was he? Now? I mean…oh crap.

"Bella, will you move in with me?"

A/N:

Bet you didn't see that coming, did ya? Yeah, neither did I. It's amazing what happens when you sit down to write one thing and your characters take over and lead you somewhere else.

I just want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for your reviews, alerts and favorites. It warms my heart each time I get an email letting me know that you're still reading, or have started to read, this story. It has taken me much longer than I had planned to write this and I appreciate more than I can say those of you who have stuck with me.

Now normally, this is the point where I promise teasers for reviews, but based on what I have written of Chapter 25 so far (which is about 4K), I cannot find anything that won't give some major plot points away. That being said, if I do find something, I will send it to you if you review. If I can't, I hope you'll forgive me this once and be content with my review reply without a teaser.

I'm still on Twitter - Scorp_112 - if you'd like to follow. I post teasers and update on where I am in the writing process, if you're at all interested.

Thank you again for reading!