Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

AN: So this is just a spoof that I managed to crank out in a day. Completely OOC, but what am I to say, my perverted muse has gotten to me. 3

Enjoy

Alex huffed as he unpacked his bag in the hotel. "I hate hotels."

"Why?" Yassen asked, raising an eyebrow at the…panties in their shared knapsack? He turned to the younger, offering the offending article of clothing; "Is this yours by chance?"

The Rider turned and took one look at the flimsy garment before he gagged, "Hell no!"

Yassen shrugged, tossing the pink horror in the garbage, "Ok."

"It's because they mess up so fucking much!" Alex continued to rant. "I mean, one bed!? Why couldn't it be like…no couch or a crappy view or something?"

"One," Yassen started, "Your American accent is sounding better, and two, that's what hotels are for…"

Alex jammed his finger closing the drawer in the wardrobe, "Ow! Say what?"

"Well, hotels are one of the most cliché places that people get laid…" Yassen continued as he placed a black drawstring bag into the bottom drawer of his side of the wardrobe.

Alex faced the elder and smirked, "Are you hitting on me?"

"Tch, confident aren't you?" the Russian snorted. "I'm not surprised: golden hair, maybe not the baby blues, but probably a nice…pretty…cock…" He whispered as he brushed past heading towards the bathroom.

The Rider flushed bright red. "Wh-what?"

Yassen tsked, "Ah-ah-ah, I see we're not ready for that yet…"

"What're you talking about?" Alex retorted, trying to regain his composure. "I'd outlast you any day in bed."

"Nonsense," Yassen joked, poking the younger lightly in the chest. "You have never even had sex."

Alex opened his mouth to defend himself, but ended up being swatted lightly on the ass.

"Cat got your tongue?"

Alex groaned and continued to unpack his clothes.

"Stop squirming," Yassen murmured, turning around on the cushy mattress of the single bed in the room, to face the wriggling teenager. "If you wanted my attentions so bad, you could have just asked…"

Alex scoffed, "Come on, it's fucking freezing! Can't this damn place up the temperature a couple degrees? They have a hot tub in the bathroom for heaven's sake!"

The elder growled as he pulled the younger to him and wrapped strong arms around Alex's slim waist, "Warm? Now shut up and sleep."

"Oh god!" Alex dramatized, "I'm spooning with the Yassen Gregorovich! However can I resist his charms?"

"What part of shut up did you not understand?"

"Your presence is just too distracting, I can't comprehend your words," Alex continued.

Yassen chuckled darkly, "Don't get too ahead of yourself, Mr. Virgin. Someday I'll make you mean those words."

Alex swallowed nervously at that, and tried to fall asleep while desperately attempting to block out the feel of that lithe body against his.

TBC

Yeah, ok, so I hope Alex isn't too scarred from that encounter, cuz he better prepare himself for what I have in store for him. *evil grin*

But anyways...reviews? Anyone? And before people start flaming me for totally destroying this chapter, this was for the humor, so laugh (and give me happy reviews :3) at it...please.

Thanks for all the support :D