Kingdom Hearts: Memories of Nobody
Chapter Six
Seventh Circle of Hell
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.
RFF: Xenia's hair used to be brown and was extremely long and wavy. Since her hair got on her nerves, she chopped it off and dyed it.
Last time: I don't know how to paraphrase the last chapter… sorry!
Okay, if Xemnas calls one more goddamn meeting at three in the morning, I'm going to go on a murderous rampage. Luxord had to wake me up, since Axel, Demyx, and Xigbar are prohibited to be anywhere near my room.
And since I refuse to walk this early, I forced the Gambler of Fate to carry me. A bitchy, non-morning girl can get very far with just a few threats. Many that include getting shanked with a spork. Yeah… I'm really not a morning person.
When we finally arrived at the Round Room, we were late. I ignored Xemnas's lecture completely, since I was on the verge of falling asleep. I really wished I had a Monster or an Amp or anything with high caffeine! But we had to stop serving coffee since Demyx drank some and acted like the chipmunk squirrel thing in Hoodwinked.
"We have captured a spy that has been sneaking around the castle," Xemnas announced. Can't we just kill the guy and call it a day? I mean, seriously, what are we going to do, hold him for ransom? If we need munny, we just ask Luxord.
Axel stood in the middle circle with a figure at his feet. They were bound by ropes, and had a black bag over their head. The pyro pulled the bag off, and revealed a girl with cyan colored hair, and eyes that were brighter than her hair. She was gagged, obviously, and was giving everyone in the room death glares.
Xemnas nodded to The Flurry of Dancing Flames, and the flame head untied the cloth that prevented her from talking. "What's your name?" Xemnas asked calmly.
"I'd rather drink acid than tell you anything!" she spat.
"That can be arranged," I replied. She glared at me. I was sitting with Lexaeus, since I had nothing better to do. I smiled, and leaned back, only to almost fall out of the chair.
"Smooth move," the prisoner commented.
"Can I kill her now?" I asked Xemnas.
"No, we'll keep her until she talks, and then you may do as you please Xenia," Xemnas answered.
"Xenia? What kind of name is that?" the captive laughed.
"Fuck you bitch. At least I don't get caught when I spy on people," I retorted. I'm totally PMSing right now, but that slut down there is lucky that I don't chop of that pretty little head of hers right now! When we have no more use for her, then I'll make her suffer. I'll wait until then.
Well, because of that small argument, I was completely awake now. But due to MPD, I was thinking about killer unicorns with rocket launchers attached to their backs. Random, yes, but it was funny as hell. There was this one unicorn, it was completely black, but it's mane and tail were red, it had a grey horn, and it blew up this bridge with a lot of people standing on it, and the water was actually acid so the people's skin started to burn off-
"Zexion, I leave the girl to you," Xemnas cut of my train of thought. Well, the train crashed and burned actually, but that was such an interesting thought really. Our Superior left, and then Demyx fell out of his chair. Oh hey, he was asleep! He hit the floor with a thud, followed by my laughing so hard that Lexaeus had to catch me, literally catch me, when I began to fall off the chair.
I wiped an imaginary tear from my eye, and my laughter died down. I was clutching my stomach, and practically hyperventilating. Our prisoner rolled her eyes, which royally pissed me off. I summoned Screaming Eternity, well, only one of the claw daggers technically. The one I did summon was on my right hand. The claw part was still inside the gauntlet, and when I did make the claws come out, I alternated the sound to make everyone in the room hear a rake scratching against a chalk board. Everyone except me.
Vexen, Roxas, Saїx, Xaldin, Lexaeus, Marluxia, and Luxord all left. I jumped down from my chair, with Screaming Eternity still attached to my arm. Larxene followed me, but she didn't summon Foudre, her throwing knives. Demyx was still sleeping on the floor, and Zexion was reading his Lexicon.
"Listen, what's-your-face, just be glad that I don't sever your head right here and now. I run this show, but in a technically Xemnas does… HOWEVER, if you get on my nerves, no one will be able to recognize your body after I'm done with it," I threatened. I slid the claws across her cheek, drawing blood. She winced, and Axel replaced the gag so she couldn't reply to my threat, which is more like a promise now.
The Flurry of Dancing Flames left, seeing that he wasn't really needed. Zexion closed his Lexicon, and jumped down from his chair, walking rather… gracefully… to our prisoner. Her death glare sort of faded into a normal, everyday annoyed glare. That's an improvement, I think.
"Xenia, I'm going to the kitchen. Wanna come?" Larxene asked. I glanced at the prisoner, and then shrugged to the Savage Nymph. Might as well, I'm starving. Besides the fact that it's three in the morning, and I didn't eat anything yesterday, I was about to fall over from hunger. We left in style. And when I say we left in style, we disappeared in a swirl of darkness.
Kitchen
Define 'raid'. Now, define 'raiding the refrigerator'. You get a small image in your head of someone just going through it right? My version of raiding the refrigerator: throwing the things that I don't want to eat behind me, and stuffing my face with mostly candy. My metabolism is rather high, so I really never gain a lot of weight.
Larxene was raiding the cabinets. So far, she's been through a box of graham crackers, marshmallows, carrot cakes, chocolate chip cookies, and that strawberry stick cookie things. Me? A bottle of chocolate syrup, Kit Kats, left over pancakes, devilled eggs, an entire pack of Monsters, about three Pepsis, left over steak, and some White Castles.
The kitchen door opened, and Demyx walked in. Both of our heads snapped over at the Melodious Nocturne. The kitchen itself was a complete mess. Eggs were on the ceiling, milk was running down the windows and walls, pancake mix we was tossed all over, and spaghetti was hanging from the ceiling fan.
"Is… this a bad time?" the water manipulator asked. I hissed like a raccoon, and went back to devouring what I think was meatballs. Larxene's eyes narrowed and a bright flash filled the room. Demyx's face was completely charred, and his hair was standing out in every direction. He blew out a puff of smoke, and then promptly fell over.
20 minutes later…
There was officially no food left to eat. Unless someone wanted to eat it off of the walls, ceiling, or floor, there was literally nothing. "Think Xemnas is going to be pissed?" Larxene asked.
"We'll probably be in the seventh circle of Hell tomorrow… or in a couple of hours," I replied. We both shrugged, and walked out of the kitchen. Looks like no one is going to have breakfast, or we could just order take out… I vote for the latter.
The Grey Area
"What in the name of Kingdom Hearts happened to the kitchen?" Xemnas yelled as he stormed in, dragging in Demyx with him by his cloak hood. I was sitting on the couch next to Roxas. For some odd reason, I found petting his head like a dog's quite entertaining.
"I was hungry," I replied bluntly. I'm not lying when I say I'm PMSing. I swear I was cramping, and it felt as if I was going to have a bulimia attack.
"We have nothing to eat!" Xemnas boomed.
"It's called TAKE OUT!" I shouted back, just as loud.
Everyone stopped what they were doing. Luxord, Xigbar, and Xaldin all looked up from their game of poker, Zexion glanced up at us, Roxas stopped breathing… oh shit! Breathe damn you, BREATHE. Anyway, back to what I was saying, Saїx stopped writing something on a clipboard, and Axel woke up from his nap. "The clown has no penis," the flame head mumbled.
"What kind of twisted dreams are you having?" Zexion asked, terrified. Axel yawned, and waved Zexion's question away like swatting a fly with the back of your hand.
"Xenia, I have been letting you do whatever you pleased for the past 8 years, it's time you starting acting your age!" Xemnas retorted.
"Act my age? It's called I'm on my goddamn monthly, and Mother Nature is a bitch so go fall in a hole!" I screamed. The flames in my eyes put Axel's to shame.
After I said that, every guy in the room (that would be everyone) left, except Demyx who was still in shock. Hah, pun. I was high on caffeine and I felt the need to blow up a car. I stomped out of the room, and tripped over the Melodious Nocturne.
"WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING YOU DICK!" I snapped. I kicked him in the ribs, and then went back to being my bitchy-bitchy self.
The Round Room
"Is everyone here except Xenia?" Xemnas asked. The rest of the Nobodies nodded. "Good, good," he continued, "As you all know, when Xenia is on her… how should I put this… Well…"
"When she's bleeding from the crotch?" Axel suggested.
"When Mother Nature comes for a visit?" Luxord suggested as well.
"SILENCE! When Xenia is riding the happy train, you all know that she has a tendency to snap at people even though they haven't done anything, and is very violent as well as hostile for about a week," Xemnas said.
Roxas raised his hand. "What's the… happy train?" he asked. Roxas has been able to somewhat form a complete sentence now, to everyone's relief. Anyway, everyone face palmed.
"I'll tell you what the happy train is," I said. Everyone froze up, and looked down to the middle of the room. "You see Roxas, I'm a female, and females have this thing called a uterus. It holds a baby. Well, our bodies prepare themselves to have a baby, and every month, the lining of the uterus sheds and comes out the female genital part, in the form of blood. This also makes females extremely bitchy, demanding, and violent, along with fatigue, cramping, and bloating," I explained. I smiled and clutched my hips.
Roxas was completely horrified. Well, he should've paid attention in health class. "I can't believe you just explained that to him," Axel commented. I flipped him off, and then sat down, Indian style.
"Should you really be sitting like that?" Vexen asked.
"What part of I just really don't give a damn do you not understand?" I answered sarcastically.
"Someone needs a tampon…" Luxord murmured. I heard him however.
"You're about ready to have a tampon shoved up your ass!" I yelled, "And because of my bitchy, violent, hostile self, I want to play a game of dodge ball, NO GODDAMN QUESTIONS ASKED!" I continued.
I left in a puff of black smoke. "Looks like we're playing dodge ball," Xemnas sighed.
Yay! Chapter 6! And the first person to guess the movie the quote 'The clown has no penis' came from, will get a review for every chapter of every story, a story/author alert, and a favorite from me! Just say it in the review.
Next time: Dodge Ball
No preview because I want it to be a surprise! I'll tell you this however; the members are allowed to use their elemental powers! I'm going to wait for some reviews saying what team should the members be on, Xenia included, so, stay tuned!