July 20, 1995
Sirius knew instinctively growing up that his parents were not the best of people. He knew that in comparison to other parents, they were wicked and cruel. Even knowing this, he was still often in awe of just how different Mr. and Mrs. Potter were when he went to live with them.
Mrs. Potter made his favorite meals often, pinched his cheek occasionally as if he were the most adorable boy in the world, and never yelled at the boys, no matter how much trouble they caused. Mr. Potter was strict, but he loved to have fun with his boys, and he had the perfect balance of a strong but kind nature.
However, though the Black household and the Potter household were as different as night and day, there were some similarities. James and Sirius had both been raised as pureblood wizards, and as such there were just things they did and did not do.
And one of the things they did not do was attend muggle movie theatres.
As a result, it had actually been Lily that took the two friends to experience their first showing of a muggle movie on the Christmas holiday break of their seventh year. It was a film that the Americans had gone positively mental over and Sirius was sure he would roll his eyes at, but Star Wars had ended up fascinating the cocky wizard.
Though Sirius didn't mind muggles, anything that annoyed his mother was ok in his book, he also had never been overly impressed with them. But sitting in front of that big screen for the first time, he couldn't help but think that muggles might possess their own type of magic.
Now that Remus had arranged for a television to be in their home, and with Harry in his room serving a two hour sentence, Sirius found himself with little to do other than turn the new set on and figure out how it worked. After tinkering for a while before finally figuring it out, it just so happened that he found that same Star Wars playing, and he was so engrossed in the story again that before he knew it, it had been two hours and fifteen minutes, and Harry still hadn't emerged from his room.
Harry really was a good boy, and on the rare occasions that Sirius felt a consequence was needed for truly bad behavior, Harry was usually genuinely penitent and accepted his fate without much complaint. However, that didn't mean that the boy wasn't also overjoyed when the predetermined punishment was over. In fact, one time when Sirius had taken Harry's broom privileges, Harry didn't request broom time the entire length of the punishment, but he did wake Sirius up at 6 AM the morning the punishment ended and ask for his broom back so he could get into the air.
So it was more than a bit unusual for Harry to not have even attempted to leave his room yet. Sirius figured that perhaps Harry had just lost track of time and was waiting on permission to leave his room, or perhaps he'd even fallen asleep since he was firmly told to rest, so he paused the movie and made his way to his son's room.
Harry was in the process of tying a letter to Hedwig's foot when his father knocked and then let himself in.
"Hey kid. Your sentence is up. You're free to go."
Harry nodded over his shoulder before concentrating on the letter again. "Ok." He finished and opened his window, setting Hedwig free.
"Writing to Ginny?" Sirius asked curiously.
"No, Remus," Harry answered sheepishly as he looked back at his father. "I figured I owed him an apology too."
Sirius hummed. He was sure Remus had no need of such a letter to forgive his son, but if Harry felt compelled to write one, he wasn't going to object. "Well, that's probably a good idea. Now come on, I want to show you the first movie your mum took your dad and I to see," Sirius told him. He was already walking out of the room when Harry responded, "Just a few minutes. I want to finish cleaning up in here a bit."
Sirius stopped in his tracks and pivoted back towards his son. He quickly glanced around the room. It wasn't the cleanest room in the house, there was some laundry on the floor and some items that could use some straightening, but for a teenage boy it was relatively tidy. He lifted an eyebrow skeptically, "You want to finish cleaning your room?"
Harry nodded. To avoid his father's scrutinizing gaze, he began putting away the extra parchment on his desk. Before he could finish, he felt himself begin to float in the air. He glared at his father.
"Put me down!"
Sirius was snickering as he held his wand towards his son and watched him wiggle just a few feet off the ground. "Not until you tell me who you are and what you've done with the real Harry Potter."
Harry figured there was no point in fighting the spell anymore, so he crossed his arms. "Is it really so bad that I want to clean my room?"
Looking around, Sirius could admit the room wasn't tidy, but it wasn't necessarily messy either, especially not by Sirius's standards. Remus, when he lived with them, would speak to the boy from time to time about his room, but Sirius never found much occasion to. It was generally expected that Harry would not let it get out of control, and Sirius could count on one hand the number of times he had to get stern with the teenager about the subject. Harry just generally did a good job, and Sirius could admit his standards were fairly low. How the room was now certainly wouldn't have earned any kind of rebuke from the father. He looked back up at his son. "Tell me why you're so adamant to clean your room and I'll let you down."
Harry rolled his eyes. "I just like a clean room."
Sirius snorted. That was certainly not true. Though Sirius's standards were low, Harry's were definitely lower.
"Try again."
Harry sighed, and Sirius began to realize that his teasing was bothering the boy more than he intended. He waved his wand and deposited Harry on the bed. Before he could scramble to his feet, Sirius stood in front of him and caught his shoulders.
"Tell me what's going on, Pup."
Harry turned his head, but he was currently in his room for lashing out rather than telling his father how he felt, so as embarrassing as it was going to be, he had to be honest. "I told you. I'm grounded for a week."
"Oh," Sirius said. "Grounded huh?"
Harry nodded.
"Ok," Sirius responded slowly as he sat down beside his son. "But I thought I said a week wasn't necessary. And last time I checked, I was the dad around here."
Harry looked down. "I just feel so bad about what I said," he replied quietly. Truthfully, he felt guilty about a lot of things.
Sirius rubbed his back. "You know, one time, your grandmother made me so angry, I shouted that she wasn't my real mother and that she could go to hell."
Harry looked up, his eyes wide. "You did?"
Sirius nodded shamefacedly.
"What did she do?"
"Cried," Sirius responded, "and told me she loved me, which was awful. I would have much preferred her yell back."
Harry nodded his understanding. He would have preferred Sirius yell something snarky back at him earlier than to see his father so distraught on their couch. "So you didn't get in trouble at all?"
"Oh no, your grandfather expressed his immediate displeasure to my rear end, trust me."
Harry looked at him. "Well, unless you're planning to do that, then I think I should be grounded."
Sirius sighed. The few times Harry had been grounded with him, he'd practically begged nearly every time to be let off early. So if the boy was insistent on punishing himself, then he would probably be over it within a few hours anyway. Who was Sirius to stop him?
It wasn't as if Sirius wanted Harry wallowing in guilt. He certainly didn't. But he also was physically and emotionally exhausted from the last several days, or perhaps their entire summer, and this just didn't seem like something he was capable of devoting mental energy to at the moment.
"Fine," Sirius agreed, holding up his hands in surrender. "Ground yourself if you want. I'm not going to argue with you. But even when I ground you, you're not confined to this room, so get your rear end out here and watch this movie with me." He pulled Harry to his feet and out the bedroom door before he could protest.
July 21, 1995
Although it had been necessary at the time, Sirius knew that the classes Harry dropped in his fourth year so he could concentrate on the tournament were going to be needed by the time his OWLs rolled around this year. He wasn't sure exactly what he had missed, but he knew what Harry should know before the test, so he was working on a study plan for his son when he heard the floo chime. He leaned to the side so he could see into his foyer and caught Remus's eyes.
"Hey Moony," he greeted as he pulled an astronomy book from a shelf and sat back down at this desk.
Remus walked into the study and sat across from his best friend. "What are you working on?"
Sirius pulled his glasses off and looked at him. "Trying to come up with a study plan for Harry for the subjects he missed. I don't want him doing poorly on his OWLs just because of that bloody tournament."
Remus nodded his understanding. "I have to go to Hogwarts at least once a week. Let him come with me, and I'm sure Hagrid will have him caught up on Magical Creatures in no time."
Sirius creased his forehead as he thought it over. "That could work, but I'm holding you responsible for making sure Hagrid doesn't do anything dangerous or moronic. Or both."
Remus grimaced. "I'll do my best. Where is Harry, anyway?"
"Quidditch lessons," Sirius answered absently as he surveyed his plans again. "If Hagrid helps us out, that just leaves History and Astronomy. Binns will be useless, but you reckon Professor Sinistra would be willing to send what he missed?"
Remus nodded. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind." He shifted slightly in his seat before speaking again. "You know, Thursday is supposed to be my day with Harry, but I let you have him yesterday since you were just coming home. You think I could borrow him this afternoon?"
Sirius looked up in amusement. "Borrow him?"
Remus nodded. "Mm-hmm. But I think it'll be worth his time. Dora wants to go into London to search for maternity clothes. In her words, she is 'as big as an erumpent' and can't fit any of her clothes. That part I don't mind too much, but she then went on to say that I have the fashion sense of a flobberworm and we should look for some new clothes for me too while we're there."
Sirius chuckled. "Well she's not wrong, but what does that have to do with Harry?"
Remus crossed his legs before answering. "Nothing really, but Dora wants me to go shopping with her in London, which I have no desire to do, so we compromised. She said Andromeda could go with her and I could take Harry to play tennis at the club nearby, and then we would all meet for dinner."
Sirius nodded his understanding. "Well, you can ask him, but I should warn you, he is grounded. He…"
"Grounded?" Remus questioned before Sirius could finish. "Because of his cheek yesterday?"
"Well, yes actually, but…"
"Oh, Sirius, don't you think you're being a little hard on him? I mean, teenagers are snarky from time to time. It's not a big deal," Remus chastised.
Sirius sat back and crossed his arms. He had planned to tell Remus that his son had grounded himself out of guilt, but now that his best friend was lecturing him, he kind of wanted to see just how much of Remus's own foot he could fit in his mouth. "So, you think I'm being too hard on him?"
"Well," Remus said hesitantly. "Yes, I do. He was quite rude, but he apologized, right?"
Sirius nodded.
"He even sent me an apology letter. Did you make him do that?"
Sirius shook his head. "Nope, did that all on his own."
"And I'm sure you addressed his behavior, and I gave him the smacking…"
Suddenly, Sirius sat up. "You what?" He wasn't angry at his friend, just shocked.
Remus's cheeks reddened. "He…He didn't mention that?"
Stunned, Sirius did his best to pick his jaw up off the floor to answer. "He did not. You gave him a smacking?"
"Not really a smacking," Remus said sheepishly. "Just one single smack, and I feel horrible about it. Does he hate me?"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "No, he doesn't, I'm sure. He didn't mention it, but I'm sure that's because he was embarrassed, not angry. I am curious though," he said as he paused and leaned forward, "You spanked him, but you think I'm being too hard on him."
"One single spank," Remus corrected, holding up one finger, "and I didn't really intend to. It's just, the way he spoke to you and what he said to you was so spiteful, and I hated to see you hurt like that, especially after all you've been through. I felt like I needed to do something to get his attention."
Sirius smiled at his friend fondly. Remus had been a good friend to him for so long, and maybe it was time to end the teasing. "Well, it seemed to work. He was quite apologetic. But I know teenagers tend to be snarky. I certainly was…"
"Well then, why ground him?" Remus questioned again.
"I didn't ground him," Sirius told him. At Remus's puzzled look he added, "He grounded himself."
"Oh," Remus answered with much more understanding than Sirius was anticipating. "I see. And you just let me sit here and make an arse of myself?"
"Yep," Sirius responded slyly.
Remus nodded. "Thanks."
Sirius had no chance of concealing his smirk. "Still think I'm being too hard on him?"
"No," Remus shook his head. "No, I think he's being too hard on himself. Although I can't help but notice he didn't ground himself from quidditch."
"Actually he tried to," Sirius countered, propping his feet on his desk, "but I absolutely forbid it. Besides the fact that he would be miserable and Brankovitch would probably murder him next week, I paid a lot of money for those lessons, so he was going whether he wanted to or not." He shook his head before adding,"Grounding himself. Can you imagine?"
"What? You never did that?"
"Punish myself?" Sirius asked incredulously. "No, every time I got in trouble, I acted just like the spoiled, arrogant prat I was, even with the Potters. James did the same."
That was a fair point. Sirius and James may have been good friends that grew up to be good men, but they were also over-indulged boys who thought way too highly of themselves. Remus hummed as he thought back to his own childhood. He'd harbored so much guilt for the way his condition affected his family, there were many times when he was harder on himself than his parents had been. Pushing that thought aside, he looked back up at Sirius.
"You did spend 12 years in Azkaban when you could have escaped at any time."
Sirius met his eyes and sighed. "That was…different."
Remus raised an eyebrow, making Sirius squirm in his seat. Fortunately for him, he was saved by the chime of the floo alerting them to Harry's return home.
"Hey kid," Sirius called out.
A very sweaty and windblown Harry stuck his head in his father's study. "Hey, I'm going to get a shower." He noticed Remus sitting down but pretended not to, still too embarrassed to face the man. Sirius didn't miss how his son's cheeks turned a rosy shade though.
Sirius nodded. "Do that. I can smell you from here," he teased.
Harry rolled his eyes playfully and loped up the stairs.
Remus raised an eyebrow at Sirius. "You think he didn't notice me or isn't speaking to me?"
Sirius snorted. "He definitely noticed, but I think he was embarrassed. He was blushing. If you were worried he hated you, he probably thinks the same thing about you."
"Fair point," Remus agreed with a grimace. "I'll go chat with him after his shower. Oh, do you want me to stay with Harry tonight?"
Sirius looked up in confusion. "Why?"
"You're signed up to stay at Grimmauld Place tonight with Amelia," Remus reminded him. "Did you forget?"
Sirius cursed and rubbed a hand down his face. "Yes, yes I did." He cursed again before adding, "I swear I don't know how Molly and Arthur keep up with their own schedules and 7 children. I have enough trouble with just mine and Harry's."
Remus shot him a sympathetic look. "You've had a lot on your mind lately. It's not uncommon for stress to make people forgetful."
"Well if that's the case, I should have forgotten my own name by now," Sirius responded with a sigh. "Can I let you know about tonight?"
Remus nodded.
...
When Remus knocked on his door, Harry just assumed it was Sirius, who always let himself in, and didn't respond. After a few seconds, there was another knock, and Harry looked up at the door in confusion.
"Come in."
The teenager's cheeks automatically blushed again when Remus opened the door.
"Oh, hi Moony."
"Hello Cub," Remus greeted warmly, hoping to convey to his godson that he harbored no ill feelings. "Is it ok if you have visitors?" he asked curiously as he leaned against the door frame.
Harry's forehead wrinkled in confusion.
"Well I heard you were grounded," Remus clarified.
"Oh, well aren't you always allowed, even when I'm grounded?" Harry questioned.
"Well, that's Sirius's rule, but I heard he isn't the one punishing you this time," Remus answered, raising an eyebrow at his godson.
Harry looked down at his hands. "You're allowed."
Remus nodded and strolled inside. Harry was seated at his desk, so Remus walked over and leaned against it.
"I need to ask a favor of you," he began.
Harry, who had previously been avoiding his godfather's eyes, looked up, intrigued.
"Dora wants me to go shopping with her and her mother today, and I'd rather do just about anything else, so I thought perhaps you and I could play some tennis and meet her for dinner instead."
Harry shifted uncomfortably. He wanted to go, because he did love spending time with Remus, but that nagging voice in his head telling him he didn't deserve it wouldn't just shut up.
Because truthfully, Harry wasn't just punishing himself for his flippant comment to his father. That was his excuse, but really it was more than that. He was punishing himself for the enormous guilt he felt about everything.
Before the third task, the prophecy had constantly been at the forefront of his mind. He felt personally responsible for ending Voldemort, and now that the evil wizard was really dead, he felt personally responsible for the entire aftermath. Not only his own nightmares, but any suffering his father went through as well.
He also really, really wanted to be ok with Sirius dating Amelia, and to an extent he was, at least in theory. But when it got real, like when she moved into Grimmauld Place, Harry couldn't help how he felt, and he obviously couldn't express that to Sirius without biting the man's head off.
So added all up, the guilt Harry carried on his own shoulders would have crushed Hercules.
Of course, Harry wasn't saying any of that, mostly because he wasn't fully aware of it himself. He really thought his guilt was centralized to his hurtful jab at Sirius. So instead of weighing whether he had suffered enough at this point, he took a more practical approach.
It didn't hurt that that gave him exactly what he preferred.
"Ok."
Remus blinked a few times in surprise. "Really? I thought you would take a little more convincing."
Harry shrugged. "Dad says if I ground myself, I have to follow his rules for it. And his rules say I can go with you when I'm grounded."
Remus hummed. He was happy the boy wasn't forcing himself to stay home, but he wanted to chat a bit more too. "Well, ok then." He pulled out his wand and tapped Harry's laundry hamper, transfiguring it into a chair for himself, which he then sat right in front of Harry's. He sat down and looked his godson directly in the eyes.
"So, you're still grounded?"
Harry squirmed again. He was really hoping Remus would just accept the yes and move on, but it was clear he wasn't getting off that easily. "Yeah."
Remus nodded his understanding and leaned back in his seat slightly. "I'd like to tell you a story." He waited for Harry to nod before he continued. "My fourth year at Hogwarts, right before the Christmas holiday break, the rat tapped me on the shoulder during an exam and asked for an answer. He hadn't studied at all, of course, and I wanted to be a good friend, so I told him what I knew. Unfortunately, Peter was too stupid to keep his voice down, and McGonagall caught us. She was understandably furious. She failed both of us on the exam and wrote to our parents. The owl was waiting in our kitchen when we all got home from the train station."
Harry frowned. "I'm guessing this is a story where you punished yourself."
Remus nodded. "Correct. I confessed to the whole thing before my dad even read the letter. I felt awful, and my mother looked so disappointed. Grounded myself for the whole break."
Harry looked down at his hands for a moment but then worked up the courage to meet his godfather's eyes again. "So, what happened?"
Remus chuckled. Though never to the level of the Potters, his mother had cherished her only son and felt awful for his condition. As a result, she tended to spoil and pamper him when she could, and his self-imposed consequences were no different. "Well, at first my parents were disappointed, understandably, but it only took a couple of days of me confining myself to my room before my mum couldn't take it any longer. Even my dad, who was usually more content to let me pay the price for my actions, felt I was being too hard on myself. He stepped in, gave me the lecture I deserved about cheating, and sentenced me to spending as much time as possible with him and mum."
Remus paused and leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees and lacing his fingers together. "Here's the thing, Harry. I wasn't really feeling guilty about helping Peter cheat. I mean, that was a little of it, but my guilt went much deeper than that. You see, though they never complained, my father had to switch jobs and move our family every few months. We'd settle somewhere and just as I was beginning to make friends and my parents were beginning to enjoy it, I'd start having injuries every month and people would talk, or my dad would have to miss so much work to care for me that he'd lose his job. Inevitably, we would have to move again. But when I went to Hogwarts, it was different. My parents could settle down. No one thought twice about their son being at boarding school. That's when they bought the cottage I live in now. So in a way, I felt like I was putting that in jeopardy by getting in trouble at school. What would happen if I got expelled? That would be devastating for them, and I hated to be the cause of that. But also, I just felt guilty about everything they went through in caring for me."
Harry looked at his godfather with sympathy. "That must have been hard."
Remus nodded. "It was. But in time I learned that taking care of their children is just something parents do because they love them. Even when it's hard, even when they get in trouble, even when they turn into a vicious monster once a month, they love them." He reached forward and tentatively tapped Harry's knee. "Even when they're snarky teenagers, too."
Harry looked up at him and then back down again.
"Now, another question," Remus prompted, causing Harry to meet his eyes again. "My guilt wasn't really about the cheating, it was about my lycanthropy. So, what is your guilt really about?"
Harry looked away again. He reached for a quill on his desk and fidgeted with it as he thought about what to say. He really didn't want to say anything right now, and his godfather could tell. Remus sensed his discomfort and patted his knee before standing up. "Just something to think about. I'll pick you up after lunch and we'll go, ok?"
...
Harry had watched Sirius face dangerous situations as if they were nothing, barely batting an eye as he rushed headfirst into battle. Sirius was brave and confident, even in tough situations, which was how Harry knew that the way he was nervously fidgeting at lunch meant that he had something to discuss with Harry, rather than anything being truly wrong. Just as Harry finished the last bite of his sandwich, Sirius looked at him.
"We need to talk."
Harry gulped, and Sirius quickly tried to reassure him.
"Nothing's wrong, and you're not in trouble."
Harry didn't quite believe his father, judging from the grim look on Sirius's face, but he nodded nonetheless. "Ok. What's up?"
Sirius laced his fingers together on top of the table. "I need to ask you a question, and I want you to be completely honest with me."
Harry nodded again.
"Before I came home yesterday, and we had our little tift, I signed up to stay at Grimmauld Place with Amelia tonight."
Harry blinked a few times before responding. "Ok…but that's not a question."
Sirius sighed. Harry didn't seem to have much of a reaction to that, but he couldn't figure out if that was because he wasn't bothered or he was just trying his best not to show his true emotions.
"Would you like to go with me?"
Harry couldn't hide his reaction to that as his eyes went wide without his consent. "Go-Go with you?" he stammered.
Sirius nodded. "Yes, go with me. We don't want Amelia alone in case anything happens, but there's very little chance anything could happen while she's at Grimmauld Place, so there's no reason you and I couldn't do this Order mission together."
Harry slouched a little and twisted his lips as he thought. Meeting Sirius's eyes again, he asked, "Why do you want me to go?"
"Well," Sirius began, "For one, I don't want to leave you again. I think I've been away enough here lately. And two, I think it would give you and Amelia a chance to get to know each other a little better." He reached out and gently placed his hand on Harry's arm. "You do like Amelia, don't you?"
"Yeah," Harry said truthfully. He really did like Amelia, very much, and he loved how happy she made Sirius, but as their relationship grew, the thought of having to share Sirius was becoming more real and more uncomfortable. "But don't you two want…you know…alone time?" he asked, managing to hide how completely mortified he was at the thought.
Sirius actually blushed, which was such a rare occurrence that the sight of it eased Harry's anxiety just slightly. "No, I mean yes, but…." He rubbed a hand over his face, with the blood seeming to drain out of it as his hand passed down, before continuing. "I'll be there on official Order business, and any alone time we may want, we can find another time for that."
Harry sighed and asked his next question before he had time to talk himself out of it. "Well, does Amelia want me there?"
This was another insecurity of Harry's. Though he and Sirius agreed that Harry would regularly join the couple on their dates, Harry had never actually done that yet. Having grown up in a house of people who very much did NOT want Harry around, it was only natural that he questioned whether Amelia would even want him there at all. Even though he knew, deep down, that Amelia was a wonderful and lovely woman, Harry still had a fear that once she had Sirius to herself, maybe she would convince him to let the boy go.
The whole idea was utterly ridiculous, because Harry knew that Sirius loved him more than he loved anyone ever, but it didn't stop that nagging feeling in Harry's gut.
"Of course she does," Sirius replied vehemently. "Harry, Amelia thinks you hung the moon, trust me, and she's always happy to have you with us. In fact, she's asked for you to join us sometimes, it just hasn't worked out yet."
Harry could see the sincerity in Sirius's eyes, but it didn't help much. Sirius could sense his son's agony and tried a more humorous approach.
"She may even like you more than me if I'm being honest."
That at least elicited a smile from the teenager. Though Harry still had his shoulders slumped and his arms wrapped around himself protectively, he sat up slightly and nodded. "Ok, I'll go, if you want me to."
Sirius was hoping for a little more enthusiasm, but he'd take what he could get. "Thank you."
...
Narcissa Malfoy normally despised spending any time around muggles, but she couldn't take another trip to the Wizarding World today. Everywhere she went, someone had a comment for her.
There were those who despised her husband and everything he stood for and felt the need to tell her that he was getting exactly what he deserved.
And there were those that admired him, knew he was an upstanding citizen that couldn't possibly be guilty of the crimes of which he was accused, and felt that he was being unfairly persecuted. "Just because he believes the truth, that magical blood is superior, they associate him with You-Know-Who. It's simply despicable," one witch had commented.
Narcissa didn't know which was worse.
She knew the truth. Her husband had been a follower of Voldemort. They both had. But Narcissa had begged him not to go back that night. She'd endured his trial once before, went through all the feelings as she faced the possibility of raising Draco alone, and she was terrified that if he went back, that would be what would inevitably happen.
And it had been exactly what happened.
So she had gently grabbed his arm and pleaded with him to stay away from that nonsense this time.
At the word nonsense, he'd slapped her so hard that his hand print lingered on her pale cheek for two days after.
Now here they were. Narcissa was right, of course, and she was now raising Draco alone while Lucius waited in prison for his day in court.
So she'd come to a muggle restaurant just to escape the stares, whispers, and rude comments. Draco was visiting those wretched Crabbe and Goyle boys, so she'd taken the opportunity to get out of the house and read a book where no one would know her.
Unfortunately for her, she did in fact see someone she knew, though they hardly noticed her. She was sitting in a corner booth with her head buried in a book when she saw her older sister, Andromeda, walk into the restaurant alongside a young woman who had to be her daughter. Narcissa hadn't seen Andromeda in years, but she recognized her and knew she had a daughter. Though she cherished her Draco, Narcissa's heart had always longed for a little girl and she felt a pang of jealousy as she watched Andy laughing with her own.
Her eyes went wide as she took in the belly of the young woman with her sister. She wasn't very pregnant, but she definitely was, and her tight fitting, muggle clothes did nothing to hide that fact. So Andy was going to be a grandmother soon apparently. She shifted her eyes from her book to the mother and daughter, not able to stop her curiosity. Andromeda was her older sister, after all.
What she really didn't expect was for the half-breed that nut Dumbledore had hired and the famous Harry Potter to stroll into the restaurant just a few minutes later and sit with them. Without thinking about it, she slid deeper into her seat to avoid being seen, but she was curious about this group. She watched as they chatted and ordered and laughed, so much laughter. They were so full of joy that it almost made Narcissa sick.
Mostly it made her envious.
It had been so long since she'd felt that kind of joy, if she ever really had, and she had no idea if she ever would again.
So lost in her own self pity was she that she temporarily forgot she was staring until her eyes met the eyes of who was surely Andromeda's daughter.
She cursed as she looked down at her book and tried to hide the fact that she couldn't look away.
"Mum," Tonks whispered to Andromeda. "Isn't that Aunt Narcissa?"
Harry and Remus had their backs towards the other woman, but they both sat up a little in alert.
Andromeda frowned but leaned past her daughter to get a better look. Once she saw confirmation, she excused herself from their table.
Please walk past. Please walk past. Please walk past, Narcissa silently pleaded as her sister approached. No such luck.
"Cissy?" Andromeda said softly as she sat in the empty seat across from Narcissa.
Narcissa had no choice but to look up from her book. "Andy," she said boredly. "Out with your muggle-loving friends, I see."
Andromeda ignored the attempt to insult her and reached forward, placing a gentle hand on her sister's arm. "How are you, Narcissa? I can't imagine what you're going through right now."
For just a moment, Narcissa wanted to answer honestly, mostly because no one had bothered to show any empathy to her whatsoever, or ask her how she felt without asking about her husband, but in an instant she recovered and jerked her arm away. "I am fine, Andromeda. Can I help you with something?"
Andy frowned at the strong-willed woman. All the women in her family were strong-willed. Unfortunately, some of them were just too passionate about the wrong things. "Ok, Cissy, I can take a hint, but if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me." Her eyes were sad as she stood to leave.
Before she could think better of it, Narcissa called her sister's name. "Andromeda?"
Andy turned back around curiously. "Yes?"
Narcissa swallowed and looked up at her. "Is…is that your daughter?"
Andy smiled kindly. "It is. We're expecting a grandson in a few months."
Narcissa didn't smile, but she didn't exactly frown either. "Congratulations," she said with little feeling.
Andromeda smiled anyway. "Thank you."
As Narcissa watched her older sister turn and leave, she couldn't help but wonder about the choice she had made with her own life. She'd done exactly as she was supposed to. She made excellent grades, like any pureblood should. She'd married a pureblood, been a loyal companion to a pureblood even though he was rarely loving and sometimes downright cruel towards her. He was a good father, though harsh at times. She was raising her son to respect blood supremacy as well.
Andy broke all the rules. Yes, she was an excellent student at Hogwarts, but she fell in love with a muggleborn and eloped with him shortly after they graduated. They'd both been successful healers, though, Narcissa knew that, and her relationship with her daughter and her husband seemed good. No, it seemed more than good. Andromeda's face when she was interacting with her family was pure joy.
Narcissa had never known pure joy in all her life, and for just a brief moment, she found herself longing for what her sister had.
...
Sirius stepped through the floo to Grimmauld Place to find Amelia and Arthur Weasley chatting in the sitting room.
"Hello, Sirius," Arthur greeted, shaking Sirius's hand.
"Arthur," Sirius answered with a nod. "I trust nothing happened at the ministry today?"
"Not a thing," Amelia confirmed. "Just another boring day at the office."
Arthur nodded his own confirmation before shuffling towards the floo. "Well, I better be going." As he reached for a handful of floo powder, he looked back at Sirius. "Oh Sirius, do you think you and Harry will be able to make the grand opening next week?"
Sirius lowered his eyebrows in confusion. "Come again?"
"Harry didn't tell you?" Arthur questioned. "Well, the store is having its grand opening next week. We're having a big celebration. I'd love it if you and Harry could be there."
Sirius instantly looked uncomfortable. He knew that eventually he and Harry would have to really step back into the wizarding world, but he was in no hurry. He also found it odd that Harry hadn't mentioned it to him. It sounded just like the sort of thing that Harry would be excited for. Was the boy so sure that he would say no that he found no need to ask?
Arthur could tell Sirius wasn't exactly thrilled, so he spoke again. "We have a floo in the back of the shop you're welcome to use. No need to walk through the Alley."
That did make it slightly better for the worried father. Perhaps this was the best time to just dive head first back into public.
"I'll have to give it some thought," Sirius answered honestly, "But I will consider it. I appreciate the invitation."
Arthur smiled. "Wonderful. Well, I will see you all later." He waved to his friends and disappeared into the flame.
Amelia walked over to Sirius and wrapped her arms around him. "I didn't know my security for the evening was going to be so devilishly handsome and sexy," she whispered seductively before kissing him.
Sirius would have loved to continue their kiss for a long time, but unfortunately he had more pressing matters. He gently pulled away from her lips but kept his arms around her. "Well, I should tell you that your sexy bodyguard's son is going to be joining him this evening."
Amelia's eyes went wide for only a moment in surprise, as if Harry were there to catch them in an intimate moment right then, but then they filled the most genuine joy that Sirius fell even harder in love with her in a matter of seconds. "That's wonderful! Is he coming now?"
Sirius couldn't deny that there was a small part of him that was almost testing his girlfriend with that statement. He loved and trusted Amelia, and he knew she loved him and Harry, but he couldn't help the worry. He would always, always put Harry first, and any woman he dated, and ultimately married, would just have to accept that.
But she passed his test with flying colors. There was no denying that she was legitimately happy that Harry would be with them for the evening.
"No, Remus had him for the afternoon and is feeding him dinner, but he should be here in about half an hour or so," Sirius explained.
Amelia smiled at that. "Harry is very close to Remus," she observed as she picked up a pillow from the couch and sat down in its place.
"Very," Sirius nodded in agreement as he took a seat beside her. "He's like a second father to him, actually, and I'm very thankful for that. I don't know what I would do without him, really, but please don't tell him I said that." He winked at her and she giggled.
"Your secret is safe with me," she replied before her face grew concerned again. "Was Harry ok yesterday? He seemed really upset on the mirror call."
Sirius's stomach twisted. "Yeah, yeah he was fine. He was in a bit of a bad mood. Apparently Ron let it slip to Ginny that he went out with a girl in Italy, and she wasn't so thrilled."
Amelia grimaced. "I don't imagine she would be." She studied Sirius a moment before adding, "It probably didn't help that his dad's girlfriend moved into his second house."
Sirius looked up in surprise. "How did you know?"
Amelia shrugged. "Lucky guess. So he wasn't happy about the new arrangement?"
Sirius sighed as he crossed his legs. "Not especially, no. But he was also irritable from being sleepy, dealing with Ginny, and I took his broom yesterday too. I think after a good night's sleep, he's more understanding."
"It can't be easy on him," she observed, and Sirius detected a note of real insecurity in her eyes, something she so rarely showed.
"Harry likes you a lot, Amelia," he explained. "This is all just so new to him."
Amelia nodded. "I know. I like him a lot too, but I also completely understand him being protective of you." She shrugged again. "Being a teenager is hard."
"You know, I used to think that too," Sirius responded, "But now I think being the parent of a teenager is harder," he teased.
She rolled her eyes good-naturedly and leaned over on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her and rubbed his hand up and down her arm tenderly. After a few silent moments, she looked up at him. "Can I ask you a question?"
Sirius nodded. "Always."
"Why do you think Harry didn't tell you about Arthur's shop opening? Seems like something he'd be thrilled to go to."
Sirius sighed. "Well, I'm not certain, but I think it may have something to do with the fact that he grounded himself yesterday, and he probably thinks he's punishing himself by not telling me."
Amelia scrunched up her face. "Grounded himself?"
Sirius nodded. "Yeah. He was being rather rude, so I sent him to his room. He made a shirty comment about being in prison, and then Remus reminded him that I personally know what prison is like, which made him feel terrible, and he apparently wasn't satisfied with the punishment I set. I guess I'm getting too soft," he finished with a smirk.
"Wow," Amelia said, her eyes wide. "Poor kid…and poor you."
Sirius kissed her forehead. "I think I'm going to survive the whole ordeal. I just wish the kid wouldn't be so hard on himself."
Amelia nodded. "I said some pretty awful things to my parents as a teenager. What I wouldn't give to take them back now."
"I think we all feel that way," Sirius agreed.
"But, you are going to take him to the joke shop?"
Sirius sighed. "Well, I'd like to, but I'm not going to make him go. Also, to be completely honest…"
"The thought of going to Diagon Alley with Harry terrifies you?" Amelia finished for him.
"Yeah," Sirius confirmed. "But eventually we'll have to go, won't we? I can't hide him away forever."
Amelia nodded. "Eventually, yes. Really, I doubt Harry will be in much danger there. You heard Snape, retaliation isn't likely."
"Well, I'm not sure I'll ever get over my fear of having Harry in the magical world. Voldemort may be dead, but there's still those out there that agreed with his evil beliefs and aren't Harry's biggest fans. But to be honest, I'm not completely worried about retaliation as much as a mob of people that want to see The Boy Who Lived Again," he explained. "I'm not sure Harry is quite ready for that."
"Or Sirius?" she questioned with a raised eyebrow.
"Him either," Sirius confirmed, his cheeks blushing. He decided a change of subject was in order to keep this conversation from getting uncomfortable. "If I can brave it though, maybe I can get an idea of something to give him for his birthday. He hasn't given me any hints. Speaking of, aren't women supposed to be really good at giving gifts?"
Amelia laughed. "I'm not sure we all are, but we do pay attention to details a little more than men do. Has he mentioned anything lately he'd like to have?"
Sirius shook his head. The truth was that most of the time, if Harry even hinted at something he wanted, Sirius would buy it right away, and Harry didn't ask for much. "Not really."
"Well, does he need anything?"
Sirius shrugged. "His trousers are getting a bit short, but that's hardly a birthday present."
Amelia shook her head. "Definitely not. How about a trip? You could go to your beach house."
"Yeah, but we just got back from there. Maybe we can come up with somewhere else, somewhere we haven't been before." He rubbed his beard as he thought, then looked back at Amelia. "I did see where Nimbus has put out a new practice bludger. It will chase you around so you can practice dodging it, but it's soft, like a balloon, so if it hits you, it just bounces off. He might like that."
"Oh, don't get him that," Amelia squeaked. "Definitely not."
Sirius raised an eyebrow at her. "And why not?"
Amelia smirked. "I bought that for him two weeks ago."
Sirius let out his bark like laughter. "Fair enough, I suppose. Any other ideas?"
"You could buy him a motorcycle," she suggested cheerfully.
"Well Minister Bones, are you suggesting I break the law?" he teased as he reached forward and tweaked her nose.
"I said nothing about charming it to fly," she countered, pretending to be stern as her eyes sparkled with mischief.
Sirius laughed heartily. "Ok, ok. Well, while I would love to buy the boy a motorcycle and make some legally vague adjustments, Harry has never really shown any interest in mine. I'm out there tinkering with it all the time, but when I try to teach him he seems bored to tears."
Amelia hummed. "Well, what does Harry like?"
"Sports, just like James. Quidditch is his first love, of course, but he's into muggle sports too. He really likes being outside too."
An idea popped into Amelia's head. "Didn't you say Harry was really interested in the camping memory you shared with him? Has he ever been camping?" Amelia suggested.
Sirius shook his head. "Well, except before the World Cup last year. You're right, he is really interested in it. It's no wonder, James loved it. Ok, I might do that. Spend the weekend camping with him."
...
Harry was enjoying a large bowl of ice cream with his godfather, Tonks, and Andromeda in their cottage kitchen when Remus looked up at the time before looking back at Harry.
"We better get you to Grimmauld Place. Sirius will be wondering where you are."
Harry tried to hide his displeasure at that comment, but, though he was pretty good at bottling up his emotions, he wasn't particularly skilled at hiding his feelings on his face.
"What was that look for?" Tonks asked him.
Harry shifted uncomfortably. "I just don't like staying at Grimmauld Place. It gives me the creeps."
Tonks wrinkled her forehead. "Well Wolfy could stay with you at your house. Or you're always welcome to stay here, you know that."
Harry's eyes lit up until Remus spoke. "While that's true, Sirius really wants him to stay at Grimmauld Place tonight."
Harry made a face at that. "He just suggested that to be polite. Don't you think he and Amelia would enjoy a nice evening alone?"
Tonks giggled, but Remus was less than pleased. "He did not suggest it to be polite. He suggested it because he wants you to be there with him and Amelia. Now gather your things please so we can go."
Harry frowned. "But Grimmauld Place is so awful," he protested. "Can't I just stay here? Please?"
Tonks was less than helpful to her husband's cause. "He has a point, Remus. Grimmauld Place is creepy," she pointed out, waving her own spoon in the air.
Remus gave her a mild glare before looking at his godson again. He knew instinctively that something else was going on and he needed to take a gentler approach. He kneeled down in front of Harry and looked him in the eyes. "What's going on Pup?"
"I just don't like…"
"You had no problem going to Grimmauld Place when it was for Order meetings, so that excuse isn't going to work. Try again," Remus interrupted.
Harry sighed and crossed his arms, but he couldn't manage to make any noise come out. When his godfather just continued to stare expectantly at him, he finally was forced to speak. "Why does she even need a bodyguard anyway? Grimmauld Place is like the most protected place on the planet."
Remus considered the question. "Well, because she can't just stay locked up there all the time. She'll need to travel back and forth to the ministry, even if she gets Kreacher to do all her other shopping. And the floo there is certainly not connected to the ministry, so she has to leave even if for a very short time. Someone needs to verify she makes it back and forth safely."
That made sense to Harry, partially, but he wasn't quite ready to let go of the bitterness yet. "Ok, so make sure she's there, then leave. Come back when she has to leave again."
"Well it's not quite that simple," Remus explained.
Tonks decided to help her husband this time. "Amelia is the minister, Harry. She could get called to the ministry at any time of the day or night."
Harry bit his bottom lip. "Well, I don't see why I have to be there. Like I said, they could just enjoy the evening without me."
Remus thought they might be getting somewhere now. "Harry, you do like Amelia, don't you?"
Harry nodded quickly. He really did like Amelia a great deal. What he didn't like was the idea of sharing Sirius with anyone. "Yeah, I do."
"And Sirius has explained to you that he thinks he may marry Amelia some day, correct?"
Now Harry was just plain uncomfortable. "Yeah, I know."
"I was under the impression you said you were ok with that. Are you not?"
Harry let out a long sigh. Before he could stop himself, all his feelings on the matter came out. "I want to be. Yes, I like Amelia. Yes, I want Sirius to be happy. Yes, I'm ok with the idea of them getting married. But I don't know where I fit into that. What if she gets tired of me? Then who will Sirius choose?" His face drained of color as he realized what he had just said.
Remus placed his hands on Harry's shoulders and looked him directly in the eyes. "You, Harry. Sirius will always choose you. Nothing will change that."
Harry felt tears brimming his eyes, so he tried to blink them away as he nodded. Deep down, he knew that to be true. But almost two years of love and safety still couldn't quite erase 12 years of being not wanted. Not loved.
Remus gave the boy a minute to compose himself before he spoke again. "Sirius loves you Harry, more than anything else in this world. One day, I hope you will understand that. But if you're wondering how you fit into his relationship with Amelia, tonight is a good time to start seeing how that will work. You're going to have to spend time with both of them. And I think when you do, you'll find that Amelia is just as fond of you as she is of Sirius."
...
The floo didn't chime in Grimmauld Place the way it did in their home to alert of a visitor. Like so many other aspects of the home, it roared unhappily, which was a fitting match to the grumpy teenager Remus had practically dragged through it.
"There you are," Sirius greeted his son with a smile. "I was beginning to worry," he added, cutting his eyes to Remus.
"Yes, well my apologies," Remus told him, giving his friend a knowing look. "I uh, lost track of time." He and Sirius met eyes and seemed to have an entire conversation without saying a word.
Harry wasn't happy to be here, but he'd promised himself and Remus that he was going to do his best to make the most of the evening. He hugged his father and waved towards the sofa. "Hi, Amelia."
"Hello, Harry," she greeted. "How was your tennis match?"
That question immediately brightened Harry's mood. When he wasn't actively trying to find reasons to not like Amelia, he remembered that his conversations with her actually came quite naturally. He smirked and looked at his godfather. "Great. I actually managed to beat Moony this time."
"Only in the first match," Remus countered, reaching out to ruffle the boy's hair. "I still won matches two and three."
"Yeah, well I had quidditch this morning. I was getting tired," Harry reminded him. "Next time, I think I can take you."
Remus chuckled. "We'll see about that. I better be getting home." He said goodbye to Sirius and Amelia and headed towards the floo.
Harry crashed on the couch beside his father while Amelia took a seat in an armchair.
"You must be knackered," Sirius observed. "Quidditch practice and tennis, all in one day."
Harry nodded, though he didn't seem particularly tired. "True, but I had a huge bowl of ice cream with Remus."
"Of course you did," Sirius remarked with a chuckle. He hooked an arm around his son and pulled him closer.
Harry looked up at him. "So what did you do all day without me? Did you miss me?"
"Nah, I mostly just enjoyed the peace and quiet…"
"Hey!" Harry answered, wholly offended.
Sirius snickered. "Of course I missed you, brat. I mostly worked on your study plan for the summer."
"Oh yay," Harry said sarcastically. "I can't wait."
Amelia giggled at the father and son's interaction. "You know, my mother used to make us do a little school work every day of the summer holiday."
Harry's face was a mixture of outrage and shock. "Really? Every day?"
Amelia nodded. "She did. She was a Ravenclaw, and she wanted all of her children to be studious. It worked, I suppose, we were all good students, but we inherited our father's sense of adventure too."
"Were you all Gryffindors?" Harry asked.
"We were," Amelia confirmed.
Sirius sat back a moment and watched his son and girlfriend chatting so casually. Though he knew that Harry didn't want this evening to happen at all, he couldn't deny that so far it was going well. When Harry wasn't freaking out completely, he and Amelia actually got along quite well.
"Susan is a Hufflepuff, though," Harry observed.
"She is," Amelia confirmed. "Her mother was too."
"Didn't you mention before that Susan stays with you in the summer sometimes?" Harry asked with genuine curiosity. "Is she going to come this summer too?"
Amelia sighed. "Well, I certainly want her to, but I did not plan to be attacked and in the hospital for a week. It's put me very far behind at work. I'll need to do something with her though or she'll be terribly disappointed."
Harry nodded as an idea popped into his head. "Why don't you take her to our beach house?"
Amelia looked surprised as she looked between Sirius and Harry. Sirius seemed surprised too, and pleased.
"Well, that's a very kind offer…"
"It's a good idea," Sirius interjected. "It's in another country, has a bunch of protections on it, and you'd both enjoy it there."
Amelia thought it over another moment before she eventually nodded. "Ok then. I think we may do that. It'll have to be after the trials are over, but I think we can arrange that."
Suddenly, Harry's face grew horrified as he looked back at Sirius. "Wait, are you going to make me do school work every day?"
Sirius rolled his eyes at his son's theatrics. "Not every day, but at least 3 days a week you need to spend some time on it. On Wednesdays, Remus is actually going to take you to Hogwarts to work with Hagrid. That should take care of your Magical Creatures review."
Harry was excited about that possibility, but it also made him a little nervous. "You don't reckon Hagrid is still raising those blast-ended skrewts, do you?"
Sirius laughed humorlessly. "I hope not." He shifted and made a mental note to review Hagrid's curriculum before he sent Harry to him. "Speaking of the beach house, would you like to go there for your birthday?"
"Didn't we just get back?" Harry asked.
"I own it, Harry. We can go whenever we want."
Harry shrugged. "Maybe."
"Well, do you have any other ideas for birthday gifts?" Sirius pressed.
"Not really."
"Nothing at all?" Amelia prompted.
Harry shook his head. "Well, actually, there's this new practice bludger Nimbus has made. It'll chase you, but doesn't hurt when it bumps into you."
Sirius and Amelia exchanged an amused look.
...
Sirius had hoped the evening would be successful, but even he was surprised at just how well it was going.
After chatting for a while longer, Amelia had mentioned she enjoyed puzzles. Harry went on to say that he used to sneak Dudley's discarded puzzles to the back of their garden and solve them since his pigheaded cousin had no desire to do so. This led Amelia to mention that she had just purchased a 3-D puzzle of the Eiffel Tower, which she pulled from a bag that it could not have fit into without magic, and the three of them had set to building it.
"This is brilliant," Harry commented as he put on the last piece. "Where did you find this?"
"There's a muggle store a few blocks from here actually. They sell comic books, games, and puzzles. It's a neat little store," Amelia answered.
Sirius smiled at that information. "Sounds like a good place to look for a birthday present," he suggested.
"What other puzzles did they have?" Harry asked curiously.
"Hmm, I can't quite remember, but they did have Notre Dame. I'd like to do that one next." She hesitated for just a moment before adding, "We should all go there together sometime. A lot of the muggle games look interesting, but I don't know much about them. Maybe you could explain some of them to me, Harry."
Sirius and Amelia watched Harry carefully, and he seemed to have no negative reaction to that suggestion at all. Sirius breathed out a sigh of relief when Harry answered, "Ok."
But his jaw dropped when Harry added on, "But just so you know, you should never play muggle games with Dad. He always cheats."
Amelia laughed at Sirius's offended face.
"I do not always cheat!" he defended himself.
"Yes, you do," Harry retorted playfully. He looked back at Amelia. "We played this game called Jenga. You have to move these pieces in a tower without causing the tower to fall. Dad was charming it the whole time to stay up."
"Ok, so that was one time…" Sirius attempted to interrupt.
"We played this other game called Monopoly," Harry went on.
"Oh, I'm familiar with that one," Amelia told him.
"Yeah, well I couldn't figure out how I ran out of money so quickly. Turns out, Dad was banishing it."
"You can't prove that," Sirius attempted, but Harry wasn't finished.
"Then we played Scrabble. You would think you couldn't cheat at Scrabble. It's just a game where you use letter tiles to make words. But Dad found a way to change his tiles to be the letters he needed them to be."
Sirius just wagged his eyebrows, grinning that unfairly handsome grin that made it impossible to scold him. "What can I say? I like to win."
Amelia was laughing heartily at Harry's ribbing of his father, but her heart swelled everytime Harry called Sirius "Dad." Sirius was a wonderful father, and though Amelia had never desired children of her own, seeing him interact with Harry made her fall even harder in love with him.
"Have you ever played the game Clue?" she asked the boy.
Harry shook his head. "I don't think so."
"Susan introduced me to it. I'll bring it the next time we all hang out. It will be hard for Sirius to cheat at that one, trust me," Amelia explained.
"I accept your challenge," Sirius interjected.
Amelia rolled her eyes, but smiled at him. The three were in the midst of laughter when suddenly a small horn appeared beside Amelia's head and began blaring.
"Bloody hell! What is that?" Sirius exclaimed as he covered his ears.
Amelia pulled her wand quickly and waved it, causing the assaulting noise to cease. After a moment of quiet, she looked at them worriedly. "It's an alarm I put on my home. It's supposed to alert me if someone is at my house."
Sirius froze. "Are you telling me someone is at your house right now?"
Amelia nodded, her eyes beginning to show fear. "Apparently."
Harry looked between the two of them. "Well, don't you live in a muggle neighborhood? Couldn't it be one of your neighbors?"
Amelia shook her head. "Unfortunately not. I have a muggle repelling charm on my house. Whoever is there is a witch or a wizard."
Harry bit his lip and looked at his father. He understood, cognitively, that Sirius was here for the sole purpose of protecting Amelia, and for that reason it should be Sirius that went to Amelia's home to investigate. But, he absolutely hated the idea of Sirius putting himself in danger to do so.
Sirius's thoughts were much like Harry's. He was supposed to be the one that protected Amelia, and he'd gladly do so, if his own feelings were the only ones to consider. But they weren't. Judging from the look of sheer terror in his son's eyes, he wasn't sure he could leave Harry here waiting for him. It would be downright cruel.
Amelia also knew that Sirius was there for her protection, but she had never been one to sit back while others fought her battles anyway. Plus, Harry looked absolutely terrified, and she wasn't daft to what the boy, who had lost so much and suffered so much, must be thinking. She had no way of knowing just how much her next words would mean to the teenager, but Harry wanted to hug her as soon as she said them.
"It's my house. I'll go investigate."
Sirius wanted to object, he really did, but he just couldn't.
Back before the graveyard happened, he and Harry had many conversations about how sometimes Sirius, as an adult fighting for the light, would have to put himself in harm's way to do the right thing. Harry understood that, even if he resented that fact when he himself was punished for putting himself in danger, and Sirius never took unnecessary risks.
Then, the graveyard happened, and Harry had been tied up, injured, and terrified. He'd watched as Mad-Eye was murdered in front of him, and then he died himself. It had been the worst experience of Harry's life and left scars that no one could really see.
But Sirius saw them as clearly as the one on his forehead. Nightmares. Anxiety. Heightened fearfulness. It was all there. His son was not even close to getting over the events of that night, and who could blame him. It had been less than a month since they took place.
Sirius sighed and nodded. "Ok, but you shouldn't go alone. Perhaps we can call Kingsley."
"He's on a mission on Cokeworth," Amelia told him. Seeing the fearful look in Sirius's eyes, she quickly thought of another plan. "I think Dora is at home though."
"Does she have access to your floo?" Sirius asked.
Amelia cursed. "No, she doesn't." She rubbed her forehead, trying to think of any solution that didn't involve Sirius or her going alone.
"Take my necklace," Harry said suddenly.
Amelia and Sirius both looked at him.
"If you're in danger, you can portkey immediately back to our house," Harry explained, though Amelia knew exactly how they worked. "You could take Dad's mirror too."
Sirius looked from Harry back to Amelia as he lifted his hand to cup the back of Harry's neck. "It's a good plan."
...
Sirius was pacing back and forth in their kitchen while Harry sat at the table nervously fidgeting.
"Dad, I'm sorry," Harry practically whispered.
Sirius stopped and looked at him. "What on earth are you sorry for?"
"I know you wanted to go with Amelia," Harry answered. "You only stayed because of me."
Without a second of hesitation, Sirius walked right over to his son and sat across from him. He reached and grabbed Harry's hand and looked him straight in the eyes. "Harry, I volunteer with the Order because it's the right thing to do and I believe in the cause they fight for. Yes, I was here to protect Amelia, but my number one job in the world is to protect you. You needed me here, so that's where I'm going to be. Not because I have to, but because I love you. Because I will always choose you. I don't know how long it will take to convince you of that, but it won't ever change the fact that you are the most important person in my life."
Harry observed the sincerity in Sirius's eyes and heard the conviction in his voice, and he did truly believe him, but he didn't have time to respond before the mirror buzzed.
"Harry Potter."
It had only been about three minutes since they'd watched Amelia disappear through the floo, ready to take on whoever was trespassing at her house, but to Sirius it felt like eternity.
Sirius grabbed it immediately. "Amelia, what's going on?"
Amelia smiled into the mirror, causing Sirius's frazzled nerves to begin to relax. "Everything is fine," she quickly reassured him.
"Well, who was at your house?" Harry asked.
"A little girl, actually," she said with a slight chuckle. "She lives about three doors down. She and her friends were out selling cookies to raise money for her school. She was knocking on my door when I stepped out of the floo."
Harry and Sirius both looked puzzled.
"Don't you live in a muggle neighborhood?" Harry questioned.
"I do," Amelia confirmed. A look of understanding and relief took over Sirius's face, but Harry was still confused. "She and her parents don't know it yet, but she'll likely be a schoolmate of yours in a couple years, Harry."
Now Harry understood. "She's a muggleborn witch, like Hermione."
"Indeed. I think I may have to get to know her a bit better," Amelia said with a smile. "Anyway, I'll be back in just a minute."
...
Sirius's heart was still beating harder than normal over two hours later when Harry was safely in bed. He and Amelia met in the kitchen for a much needed nightcap.
"I hate to admit this," Sirius said as he poured their drinks, "but I think it may be time for me to step away from security detail. As it stands, I'm kind of the worst at it."
Amelia smiled at him. "Well, it's true I've never had someone in charge of protecting me that made me go towards the danger first," she teased, giving him a wink. Then she reached out and grabbed his hand, "So you may be the world's worst security, but you're the world's best father. Anyone can see that."
Sirius smiled back at her affectionately. "I'm trying."
"I think tonight went well," Amelia continued. "You know, before my house was invaded by an adolescent witch."
That caused Sirius to chuckle. "Indeed. I know I had a good time, and Harry seemed to as well."
Amelia nodded and held up her glass. "A step in the right direction."
"Cheers to that," Sirius responded before taking a drink.
Amelia leaned forward and kissed him as she stood up. "I probably should turn in. I need to get to the office early. Good night."
Sirius let out a slight whimper before letting her go. "If you must."
They stared at each other another moment, both of them wishing they could go to bed with the other, but both of them understanding without words why that wasn't a good idea right now.
"I love you, Sirius. Good night."
"I love you Amelia. Good night."
...
Narcissa stared out her window at the busy city below. Their barrister had recommended she and Draco move to a secret location as the ministry was putting more heat on them. It would likely be any day now that their home was raided looking for illegal items, which Narcissa knew they would likely find, no matter how well Lucius thought he hid them.
Draco hated it here in the middle of the muggle city, and truthfully she did too, but they were safe, which was what really mattered to Narcissa right now.
She sighed as she thought back to the conversation she'd had with Lucius earlier.
Before Amelia had been injured, she'd pushed through legislation that made life at Azkaban less torturous, while still keeping the same high level of security. As a result, prisoners were allowed occasional visitors.
Though Narcissa Malfoy had visited her husband, she hadn't allowed her son to yet.
Lucius was confident he would be out soon, but Narcissa did not feel the same. What he had told her had made her blood run cold.
Thorfinn Rowle and Corbin Yaxley were tasked with murdering the minister, but they had failed. Now the Yaxley brothers had another plan, one that would involve Walden Macnair, who most certainly wouldn't shy away from killing. He did it for sport.
"Lucius, please," she had begged. "If this fails, you'll never get out of here. Think of what that will do to Draco."
"We stand little chance of winning with Amelia Bones leading the ministry," Lucius had replied coldly. "She must be removed."
Narcissa hadn't known what to say. She'd wanted to say that they wouldn't be in this situation if Lucius had just listened to her in the first place, but that would have done them no good. She had to agree that, if it were successful, their plan was a good one, but what if they weren't successful…again.
She didn't want Draco to grow up without a father, but she was beginning to wonder, with the rapid changing of things in their world, would it be better in the long run for the boy to cut ties with his cold-blooded father. It wasn't as if Lucius was a bad father. He did spend time with Draco, but he was also at times harsh and tyrannical, and though Draco longed to please his father, Narcissa knew from experience that was basically an impossible task.
Lucius had made his choices, and now she was left to pick up the pieces. How would she put things back together?
She began to weep as she felt the cords of her old life unraveling. Almost robotically, like her mind hadn't caught up to what her hands were doing, she sat down at her desk, pulled out a parchment and began to write.
...
Sirius had accompanied Amelia to the ministry and made sure she made it safely to her office before he went back to Grimmauld Place to retrieve Harry and return to their home. When he walked into his study, he saw an unfamiliar owl waiting for him at the window.
Cautiously, he walked over and let the bird in. It dropped the note and flew away quickly, but Sirius barely noticed its rapid escape as he read the letter.
Sirius,
We need to talk.
Narcissa