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Oh. I curse in my stories...so if you don't like that...I'm sorry.
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. And I don't own the short story, The Lady Or The Tiger. And I don't own the story, Diary.
If you've never read the lady or the tiger...it's this short story where this guy is in an arena. He can choose one of two doors. one door has a lady behind it and the other had a tiger behind it. And if he picks the door with the lady, he has to marry her, no exeptions. But if he chooses the tiger...well you know. But you soon find out that the princess is in the crowd and she and the man are in love. And if he chooses the door with the lady, they can't be together. (Of course, he has no idea what door has which behind it) So, the man is in the arena and he looks to the princess and she signals to go to the right door. He walks to the right door and...
That's when the story ends. You're free to make your own opinions.
I think that this story is even online! Go and read it! It's pretty short.
Clare
Silence.
That was all she heard.
The dining room table was silent and the breakfast was hard to swallow due to the heavy tension in the air.
"Where's dad?" Clare asked, her mouth full of pancakes. Mrs. Edwards shot her a dark look, one that was code for shut-your-mouth. Clare closed her mouth and swallowed. "Where's dad?" She tried again, and Helen Edwards looked even more agitated.
"Can I have the salt, Clare?" Mrs. Edwards asked and didn't answer Clare's question. She was too busy reading a magazine, not paying attention to her daughter.
It's just a stupid magazine, with stupid people, and stupid words, Clare thought. And she reached over to grab the salt.
"You want the salt? But what if I steal it?"
Eli
"Fuck, yes!" Eli hollered, after having success with opening his locker. The few people that were in the hallway stared at him, but he ignored them. He had been fighting with that fucking locker all week and finally, he had opened it on the first try. He really didn't care if they thought if he was crazy or not.
Life is good, Eli thought smugly. And he didn't even care that it was slightly pathetic that he was smug over his victory with a stupid metal locker.
Eli put everything in his locker and started down the empty hallway. He had came early to school to print out his homework for Dawes. Last night, his printer decided to break, and after many curse words later, he sent it to his e-mail.
He walked into the computer lab and there was only one other person in there. It was the boy that Eli sat across from in English. The slightly feminine one, the one that always wore beanies. The boy was quiet and always had his arms over his chest.
"'Sup?" The boy muttered to Eli, and Eli snickered in his head.
'Sup?
Oh dear lord...
Eli nodded and sat down at the first computer chair. He turned the computer on and waited for it to load. He spun himself in the chair, trying to keep himself busy. He had learned that the computers were known for being slow. As he spun around, he noticed that the boy-whatever his name was- was staring at him. Eli smiled awkwardly and spun around again so that he was facing the computer. He tapped his nails on the desk lightly, his patience wearing thin.
"Are you printing your English assignment?" A voice popped up right behind Eli and he jumped up slightly.
"Jesus-fucking-Christ!" Eli sputtered out and the boy behind him put his hand on Eli's shoulder.
"Oh, man. I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
Eli cut him off and spun around, with a slight smile. "Nah, it's okay. I'm used to people creeping up on me in the morning, nothing big."
"Good to know, bro, good to know." The boy grinned and then gasped. "Oh! My name's Adam."
"Adam?" Eli repeated.
"Yeah, you know, like Adam and Eve? Adam Brody? Adam Ross-"
"Adam Ross?" Eli interrupted, his voice rose with excitement.
"Yeah! Deadhand!" Adam's eyes shone brightly and he smiled widely. He pulled his plaid jacket away and underneath it was a DeadHand shirt. Eli grinned and pulled back his black jacket, revealing a very similar shirt, except the coloring was black instead of brown.
"Did you ever see them in concert?" Adam asked and he pulled up one the of the spinny chairs and rolled it over to where Eli was. He sat in it and leaned closer to Eli, his gaze intense.
"Twice." Eli said smugly, a proud grin on his face.
"Fuck you, man." Adam muttered, an awed expression on his face. "How was Adam Ross? Was he-"
"God-like?" Eli asked, his smile was wider than it had been in a while. "Jaw-dropping? Fucking amazing? You have no idea. Just hearing him sing...best experience of my life."
"Shit." Adam groaned and leaned back into his chair, his head in his face. "I've never been so jealous of someone. Not even when I was little and my mom took my brother to Sesame Streets on ice, but didn't take me. And man, I was jealous then."
Eli snickered and shook his head in amusement. "They're coming to Toronto. You should go."
Adam breathed in air and it suddenly came out with a 'whoosh'. "What a wonderful idea! But I have no money, and apparently you need money to get tickets? Who knew?"
"You don't say?" Eli said, his voice mocking.
Adam laughed and Eli looked at him.
"I'm Eli."
.
.
.
"Today we're reading The Lady or the Tiger." Ms. Dawes said, handing out photocopied copies of the story. "I'll put you into groups of three or four and you'll read it by yourself, and then you'll discuss it."
Eli looked down at the short story, a little irritated that he had already read it. He sighed and waited for Ms. Dawes to pick partners. He didn't really know anyone yet, other than Adam, so he didn't really care who he got stuck with. He just didn't want to get stuck with the girl in front of him.
Her hair is extra curly today, Eli thought. And he stared at the girl, Clare.
She's very beautiful, Eli thought and that was the exact reason why he couldn't be partners with her.
"Adam, Clare, and Eli." Ms. Dawes called out and Eli almost laughed in irony.
Karma is a bitch.
The three turned their desks around so that they were facing each other. Clare smiled awkwardly at the two of them and dived right into the booklet. Eli and Adam grinned at the girl. She was obviously not used to being in the attention of the male eye. Because Eli had already read this story, he looked around the class room while Adam and Clare read.
"Aren't you going to read?" Adam whispered and Eli shook his head, whispering that he had read it before. Adam nodded and looked back down at the photocopied pages.
Eli took out the sharpie from his pocket and began to draw on his nails, something that he often did when he was bored. The black marker started to dry on his thumb and he went over it again, trying to make the black darker than the thin coat it was now. He wasn't really sure why he did this, but it started when he was in sixth grade. He saw his father wearing nail polish, so Eli grabbed the next best thing: A sharpie. Bullfrog was in hysterics when Eli got in trouble for coloring his nails with something permanent.
He felt a pair of eyes look at him, so he glanced up and saw Clare. Her blue eyes were settled on his black nails. Her gaze was neither harsh, nor judgmental, she was just simply staring. After a few moments, Clare looked up and her eyes caught Eli's. Eli felt a mixture of feelings towards the girl. First off, her gaze sent him into a tailspin and he had no idea why. Second off, before, when they were turning their desks to face each other, their hands touched. And her touch was fucking electric.
"I think it was the lady behind the door." Clare blurted out, unable to take Eli's intense gaze. Adam was still reading and his eyes went faster, so that he could be apart of their conversation.
"No. It was definitely the tiger." Eli leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head. Clare shook her head, her curls bouncing around her.
"It was the lady behind the door. When you love someone, you'll do everything in your power to keep them safe." She leaned forward, her eyes blazing with a fire and set a foreign feeling in Eli's stomach.
"I actually think-" Adam started, but was interrupted by Eli.
"You have obviously never been in love. When you're in love, yeah, you want your loved one to be safe, but sometimes you're selfish. Sometimes you love them so much that only you want to be with them." Eli leaned forward, too. He flicked his hair out of his eyes and looked right into Clare's blue eyes, and immediately regretted it.
She has the most beautiful eyes that I have ever seen, Eli thought, and mentally smacked himself across the head.
"Oh, right. Like you've been in love." Clare retorted, a frustration growing in her voice. Her voice was taunting and that set a fire in Eli.
"I think-" Adam started again, but Clare glared him down, and he shrunk back down in his chair.
Eli's chin stuck out and his eyes narrowed. "I actually have been, hence why I'm arguing with you."
"That's complete and utter-"
"Oh! Finally! You are discussing it!" Mrs. Dawes turned to the class and clapped her hands in excitement. "Class! Now, this group right here is doing what I want! I want you to dissect the book. I want you to relate it to your life. I want you to look into it and mold this story into your life! Come on, people!" The class looked at her blankly and she sighed, and turned back to the three.
"You obviously work well together. You'll be English partners!" Ms. Dawes looked pleased with her idea, and she smiled.
"I don't need a partner...I don't need partners." Clare corrected, looking back at the two boys.
Ms. Dawes sighed and looked at Clare. "You're a great writer, Clare. But, and yes there's a but, you're writing is very impersonal. I get no emotion from you. And that's what I'm looking for. Writing is not supposed to be about the facts. It's supposed to come from the heart."
What is this? Some 80's movie? 'Come from the heart' ...maybe I'm not the only 'emo' one, Eli thought, and snorted.
The middle-aged teacher turned her stare towards Eli and gave him a scolding glare. "Mock all you want, Mr. Goldsworthy. But where else does the writing come from? Your pants?" Adam choked on his gum when she said this and Eli had to hit him on the back.
"Can I have an example? Can you show me examples of my writing that's impersonal, so I can work on it?" Clare frowned, she was still trying to figure out her writing, and paid no attention to what happened.
"Come on up. I'll have to find something." Ms. Dawes smiled and motioned for Clare to follow her to her desk.
They walked to Ms. Dawes desk and Eli stared at Clare. He couldn't deny it. She was beautiful. No, she was more than beautiful. She was angel. And my god, she made him feel more things in a minute than what he had felt in a year. And man, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. It wasn't just the fact that she was beautiful, though. And that surprised Eli. Sure, since she died he had noticed that certain girls were pretty, but he had never acted on that feeling. But with Clare-
"She's cute, huh?" Adam whispered, interrupting Eli's thoughts. "I'd never date her, she'd probably end up murdering me, but she sure is nice to look at." He said, referring to the spitfire in her.
Eli shrugged and looked at the girl speaking passionately to Ms. Dawes. Her arms were flailing and she was talking spiritedly about her paper. Eli smirked at the back of her and suddenly had a strange urge to wrap his arms around her and bend down to-
Stop, Eli commanded himself roughly, seeing her face flash in his mind.
"I've seen better." Eli murmured under his breath, even though Adam had asked the question ages ago.
I've seen better?
In the back of his mind, he knew that that was false.
And that was the scariest thing of all.
.
.
.
"Hey, Eli?" Julia asked, her eyes still on the musicians. Her feet swung dangerously over the balcony, but she held onto the railings.
"Mh-hm?" Eli turned to stare at his beautiful girlfriend, a bit confused. Julia was never one to talk during a concert. In fact, talking at a concert was against everything that she believed in.
"I like it up here." She admitted, making Eli smile. "It makes me feel...free, I guess."
Eli smiled and a part of him started to love her even more than he already did. Because Julia got it. She understood it. She understood him. And Eli couldn't ask for anything else. She was a gift that he was sure that he didn't deserve, but he took it anyway. He knew that he was being selfish, but he couldn't let her go.
"I like it here too." Eli whispered back, the powerful emotion that he felt for her was unnerving.
She grinned a rare grin that he barely saw, and had only seen when she was truly happy. "And, Eli?" Julia said as an afterthought.
"Yeah?"
"Do you promise that we'll always come here? Like, we'll always come to these concerts? Even if we're old and gray?" Julia looked at him, her intense glare piercing into him.
"I promise."
Eli sat up on the high sides of the venue, the lyrics pounding into his head like a hammer. He looked down at the playing musicians and tapped his foot lightly to the beat. His nails came kept the beat on the metal railings.
He slipped down onto the ground and sat down, with his feet swinging and hanging off the side. Eli wrapped his arms around the cold, metal railings. It was a whole new experience being up here. Being in the crowd was unexplainable, but so was this. There was something about being high above everyone else and watching the musicians that excited him. It was like standing on a cliff. In a way, it's scary. Especially when you're by yourself. But then you understand the beauty of it and you begin to relax.
But this was before...that happened. Before she died. Eli hadn't been up here since. He knew that memories would push outside of him and would steal his air. He knew that that would happen. And he was right. Memories that he had kept locked inside had come out, sneakily ambushing him. And now, the view was just scary. He could almost feel her next to him, breathing the words and humming the tune. He could almost feel her touch against his skin when her favorite part of a song came on. Even after all this time, he could still feel her.
Eli's stomach trembled helplessly. He felt sweat form on his body, even though the coldness of the railing had just left him shivering.
"I promise."
And he had done a good job keeping that promise, but the venue shutting down was out of his control. He couldn't do anything about it.
But...I promised, Eli thought. His teeth sank into his lip to control what he was feeling, I fucking promised.
The band stopped and Eli started to feel empty.
And he couldn't help but look down at the leaving crowd and wonder what would happen if he jumped.
.
.
.
"So, how's school?" Matt ask, trying to hold a conversation. He was counting the ticket money, the amount was less than it had been last week. Eli eyed the money with a trembling stomach.
What would he do when no one came? When no one paid?
That thought terrified him. Because he didn't know the answer.
Actually, he did know the answer. But he didn't like it.
"That bad?" Matt called, in response to Eli's silence.
"No, no. I mean, it's fine, I guess. Nothing special." Eli added with a shrug.
In a way, he was lying. It wasn't fine. He had no friends. People stared at him. And everyone was scared of him, even some of the teachers. Except Ms. Dawes. She actually loved him and thought that while he was wordy, he was also extremely talented. And maybe that's why he threw himself into learning that class. Someone actually took the time to notice him without judging. And that was all that Eli could ask for.
But also, in another way, school was more than fine. Because eighth period, in English, Eli sat behind an angel. Clare. And when Ms. Dawes would pass papers back, she'd always turn back to him with a smile, and give him the papers. In these moments, Eli forgot how to breathe. And now, as English partners, Clare had given him her number so that they could work on The Lady or the Tiger essay together. (She had also given Adam her number. He had all but fainted when she did so.) Her number was burning a hole in his pocket. He wanted to call her, but he knew that he'd fall under the spell of her voice. And if she wanted to work on together? Face-to-face? Oh man, he'd be a dead man.
She also smelled like lavender.
"That's cool." Matt said, barely listening to anything that Eli said. "I always hated school. It was always a waste of time for me. Because I mean, really? Who needs education?" He said, mocking his younger years.
Eli smirked and started to take the full trash bag out of the can. "We don't need no education." He mocked back, referring to the famous song that Matt repeatedly put on repeat.
"Ah, yes. Pink Floyd has never said anything better." Matt said dreamily. He then sighed and shook his head, his hippie-ish hair shook with him. "Well, kid, once again, I have to go. Would you mind locking up for me again? Just make sure that Joe gets out before you...he doesn't remember to lock up. Ever."
Eli pretended to be annoyed by the favor, but really, he enjoyed locking up. "I guess."
"Thanks, man. You are saving my ass." Matt chuckled and walked out the door. He had a wife at home and even though she supported and loved the venue, she still wanted him home. Eli would always make jokes about him being whipped, but in all honesty, he was extremely jealous. Matt really loved her and she really loved him, and they were together.
A small tear ran down his cheek and he brushed it off quickly.
God, don't be such a pansy, Eli. He thought, shaking his head in frustration. Don't cry anymore. Be a man, Eli. Be a man for once.
Eli shut down his thoughts and grabbed the broom from the corner and began to sweep. When he was almost done, Eli heard a crash from backstage and his head snapped up in aggravation. He knew what happened.
"Dammit, Joe! That's the second fucking amp that you broke this month!"
.
.
.
Clare
She typed furiously on the keyboard. Her mind was raging and she had to let it out one way or another. It felt like everything was going wrong and she had no control over it, which scared the shit out of her. Clare liked control. She liked being able to feel calm and stable, and hated feeling off-balance and tipsy. It freaked her out and she didn't know what to do when it happened.
I remember how Darcy acted after she was raped. That always scared me. I felt like she was slowly slipping and I was letting her. Like, she was hanging onto a cliff on a mountain and I was trying to help her back up, but then I let her go. That's how I felt during that time. And I feel like that now. I feel like I'm slipping out of control and I don't know why. I mean, I'm not comparing my situation to Darcy's, but I'm...I'm just...I don't know. I don't know what I'm feeling.
I just don't know.
Clare leaned back and saved the document under 'History project' and didn't bother to look at it before she closed out of it.
If only Ms. Dawes read what I wrote now. She'd be happy, Clare thought bitterly.
She knew that she was feeling bad for herself. She knew that she was having, what her mom would call, a pity-party. She knew this. And Clare also knew that she was probably being whiny. But for the first time in Clare's life, she didn't care. She didn't care if she was annoying anyone or being selfish. She didn't care. And she also knew that not caring wasn't good, but once again, she didn't care.
Clare heard footsteps coming up the stairs, so she stashed her laptop under her pillow and grabbed the book off the little table next to her bed. She quickly opened her book to the appropriate page and got comfortable. She heard the door open softly and she put down her book and pretended to be surprised at her dad being there.
"Hey, kiddo." Randal Edwards said awkwardly. He walked closer to Clare and sat at the edge of her bed. "Wha'cha reading?"
Clare smiled and looked at the cover. "Diary. It's by Chuck Palahniuk." Mr. Edwards took the book out of her hands, saving the page with his thumb, and looked at the cover and summary.
"It looks a bit dark." He commented, with worry on his face.
"Oh! But it is!" Clare said enthusiastically, sitting up. "You see, the guy, Peter-"
Randal Edwards interrupted and looked at her. "Shouldn't you be reading something else? Like,...I don't know? Shakespeare? At least you're not reading Virginia Woolf this time..."
Clare scoffed and took her book back. "I read Shakespeare two years ago."
He sighed and looked down in defeat. "I guess you really are growing up, Clare-bear." He looked up at her when he said that, making her heart squeeze.
"Oh, daddy-"
"Never mind. That's not why I wanted to talk to you." He said, all business now. He ran his fingers through his hair. "Given the amount of money that was...stolen...and you said that you didn't have it, I think it would be best if you didn't go to church tomorrow. I think that we should let everything die down and then see where that leaves us, how does that sound?"
It sounds horrible, she thought, but decided not to say that.
"Sounds great, daddy." Clare said and put a fake smile on. Randal Edwards smiled.
"That's my girl." He leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of her head, and then headed out her bedroom door.
Clare leaned back on her pillows and sighed heavily.
And she couldn't help but wish that the raven-haired boy would call her.
Sorry that this took so long! I've been having a few personal problems and I couldn't really focus on this story.
But I hope you enjoyed, sorry that it sucked.
Review? :)
Thanks for reading!