Eclarerocks. ...Your review/s are just...thank you. So much.

Disclaimer: No. I do not own Degrassi.

At The Bottom Of Everything- Bright Eyes. Look it up. It's amazing.

Eli

He came home from school and dropped his book bag off in front of the door and walked into the kitchen and was surprised to find that his parents were not there. They were always there when he came home; planning the radio show and making dinner. So now, Eli was completely thrown off balance. He shrugged and went upstairs.

He walked into his room, expecting to see the pig-sty that he always left it. (That's what happens when you hoard) But instead, his room was clean and was vacuumed. The windows had been cleaned up and his bed had been made, and even his clothes were folded neatly. Eli felt his vision blurring and felt his breathing get shaky. Sweat formed on his brow and he closed his eyes, trying to keep the light out.

Breathe, Eli told himself. But he couldn't. He couldn't. Someone had taken a part of him and he couldn't get it back.

Eli glanced at the closet and noticed that the door wasn't popping out like it normally did. A sick wave of nausea came over him. He walked slowly to the closet and opened it.

Revealing nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Eli let out a cry and dived into the closet. All of Julia's clothes. All of Julia's things. Her hairbrush. The condom wrapper from their first time. The little love notes that she used to give him, the ones that were sealed with a kiss.

All gone.

And he couldn't move. He was stuck in the closet and he felt like the walls were closing in on him. He felt lethargic and queasy. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying not to rip it out. But it was becoming hard. He felt like someone was taking pieces of him. He felt like people were taking his limbs and were slowly and tortuously tearing them off. He felt his insides turn inside out and he didn't know what to do.

Before it could get worse, Eli jumped up and ran out of his bedroom, knocking down the lamp that stood in his way, and quickly trotted down the stairs, taking two steps at a time.

Once he was outside, Eli caught his breath on the doorstep. But soon stopped when he heard a noise.

Eli turned to his left and saw his mother and father and...him?

No. No. That can't be?, Eli thought, but knew that it was. I mean, who else drives a hearse?

"I can't believe you're going to college already!" He heard CeCe sniffle and even saw Bullfrog wipe a tear. Bullfrog was putting the last of the boxes into the trunk of Morty.

The other, older Eli grabbed onto them tightly and grinned before saying, "I know. But you'll be good without me."

Eli couldn't take it anymore and started running down the street, leaving the other Eli and his parents behind. The wind blowing in his face was soothing and he ran faster, trying to create more of the magical feeling. He couldn't explain what was happening. There were no words to explain, and even if there were, he didn't want to know them. It was better unknown. And hey, maybe he was crazy.

Unfortunately, he started to feel a bit tired, so he started walking and breathing heavily. He walked passed the houses of his neighborhood and looked at the whit-

Yellow house?

Eli paused and cocked his head to the side. He could have sworn that the house was white yesterday. But he shrugged and went down the street, stopping at the light gree-

...There's no house?

Eli started to get a funny feeling in his stomach and started running again. There was only one place to go. There was only one place that he could count on to always be there. His legs went faster then he thought possible. He felt cramps forming on his sides, but ignored it, and ran and didn't stop running until he reached the hideous building. Eli ran up the steps with confidence, because when he walked in, Matt was going to be there. Julia was going to be there. Joe was. That weird kid that smelled like fried fish was going to be there. And everyone would be dancing to the music on stage and he and Julia would be off in the balcony, looking down at everyone. It would be there. He was sure of it.

He reached the door and he felt a smile form on his face, because here he was, his favorite place in the world. His home. Eli gripped the doorknob and turned, surprised when nothing happened. His brows furrowed together and he bit his lip in concentration.

Someone must have locked it, Eli thought, but didn't believe it.

Eli knocked on the door and yelled, "Matt! Let me in!" When he heard nothing, Eli began pounding on the door and before long, his knuckles were bloody.

His shoulders collapsed and he slumped down to the ground. Eli felt a sob rip out of him. It was primal and scary, something that he couldn't control. And he put his head in his hands shrank against the door, hoping to become the house...

Eli woke up with a start and started shivering, sitting straight up in bed. He was covered in sweat and his breath was off. Once that he realized that it was just a nightmare, he toppled back over on his pillow, still shivering.

And he realized what his greatest fear was.

.

.

.

He felt his eyes sink in sleepiness the next morning. After the nightmare, he had couldn't go back to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, a flash of the dream popped up in his mind like a movie screen.

A flash of the once white, now yellow house.

A flash of CeCe crying, next to an older Eli.

A flash of an empty closet.

A flash of-

"Good morning!" A cheerful voice cried out from the door, and Eli groaned and covered his head with his feather pillow.

CeCe let out a loud laugh and sat at the end of his bed, rubbing his feet from outside the covers. "I'm thinking about going to the paint store. You know...um...What is it called? Green thumb? Middle finger?" She bit her lip in concentration and closed her eyes, trying to remember the store name.

"Sore Wrists?" Eli suggested, his voice muffled from his comforter.

"Yes! Sore wrists! We always had fun when we used to go there, remember? You used to pick out colors and then we'd splatter them on canvas? Remember? We haven't done that in a while," CeCe said dreamily, "But you wanna do that today? You can pick out the colors-colors other than black, mind you-and we can get canvas and-"

"Maybe next week." Eli murmured from underneath the covers and he could almost feel his mother's heart break. He didn't mean to be this way. He hadn't planned it. He loved his mother, but he couldn't even get out of bed. It was like there was a vulture on his shoulders, constantly picking at him, finding every part of flesh that he had. Once again, he loved his mother, but he felt too weak. He was too weak and he hated it.

Eli felt the bed shift and felt his mother climb off. He heard footsteps coming near him and he shut his eyelids tightly.

He felt her bend over to his ear and whisper, "My Eli is in here somewhere. Wherever he is, tell him I miss him." And she stood up straight, and Eli cracked his eyes open a tiny bit to see her walk out the door.

He missed the old Eli too.

But the old Eli wouldn't come back.

Clare

Her mom walked around the kitchen, getting ready for church. Her heels echoed throughout the house. Her mother hadn't kept still all morning. She always felt it to be necessary to move. Her father just sat at the table and ate, not caring that his eggs and orange juice had dribbled down his stubbly chin and onto his blue shirt. Though, it didn't really matter what went on the shirt. He had just thrown on what he worked in on Friday. Clare counted seven wrinkles on his left sleeve. And she found it funny that her mother wore her best-high heels, dress, make-up, earrings-and her father didn't really give a damn on what he wore. And Clare couldn't help but realize that their clothing attires showed one of their many differences.

We're all so dysfunctional, Clare thought as she watched her mother carefully put on lipstick, We have a "thief", a snob, someone who doesn't keep in contact with us anymore, and a...and a what?

Clare looked at her father. He shoveled eggs into his mouth and once again, the ketchup-covered-eggs fell onto his shirt. He barely noticed and continued to eat.

And we have someone who just doesn't care, Clare thought, a frown spreading on her pink lips, and she turned to look at her mother. She carefully placed a handful of nuts-highinprotein!-into her mouth, trying to not smudge her lipstick, and maybe she cares too much.

"Clare, honey?" Her mom started, checking her make-up in the cracked mirror in the bathroom, "While we're gone, can you clean up this house? Everything is so disgusting!" And to prove this statement, she swiped her finger across the mirror and waved her pointer finger around, to show the invisible dust.

"Depends," Clare moved closer to the bathroom, "Will creatures of the forest help me?"

Helen Edwards turned around, bobby-pin in hand, and gave Clare a strange look. "Pardon?"

"You know, Cinderella? The mice help her? Gus-Gus? The birds?" Clare felt her stomach clench when her mother's face was still blank, "Come on, you know what I'm talking about. We used to watch it all the time. Darcy and I used to know every line...?"

"Oh! Right. Well, I don't remember much about that." Her mother said shortly, as she did every time someone mentioned Darcy.

"And remember when Darcy and I-"

"Clare," Helen Edwards said in her warning voice, and she put her left hand up to silence her daughter, "not now, okay? Just...not now. We have to go." And she signaled for her husband to follow her out the door. Randall Edwards pushed his chair back from the table, making a screeching sound, and put his plate in the sink.

Her mother walked out to the car and opened the door and got in, her posture stiff. Randall Edwards looked at his daughter sheepishly and bent down to place a kiss on her head.

"Remember what I said last night. We just have to let everything...die down." And when he looked into her eyes, she knew that he knew that she didn't steal anything. And because of that, she offered him a smile, and waved at him when he walked out the door.

At least someone believes me, she thought and watched her parents drive off to her used-to-be-sanctuary.

After her parents left, Clare pulled out her book bag from her room. She had been waiting for one of her partners to call her but when none of them did, she called Adam to set a time to work that day. They agreed on noon and she then called Eli twice, and got no answer.

She packed her bag and set off to the park to meet Adam

.

.

.

"What do you think happened at the end of the story?" Clare asked, after twenty minutes of complete silence. She and Adam sat in the park, on a creaky old picnic table. Adam had been writing furiously and Clare watched him with amusement. At first Adam was no help, he was scared half to death by being in her presence, but he soon got used to her.

Adam shrugged and looked up, resting his head on his right hand. "I think that she sent him to the door with the lady but," Adam gave her a pointed look, when her facial features became smug. He knew that she was thinking about the argument with Eli, "I think that the man thought that he was choosing the door of the tiger, you know? Like, he can't live without the woman, so he thinks that the door is the one to the tiger. But, the woman loves him, right? So, I think that she points him in the direction of the right door, knowing that he's going to think that it's the tiger, but really it's the lady."

Clare narrowed her eyes and leaned in, "You've thought hard about this, haven't you?" And Adam let out a small laugh, picking his pen back up.

"Well, that's what happens when you have nothing better to do," Adam smiled and breathed deeply, closing his eyes. The slight breeze didn't touch his beanie covered hair, "It's nice out."

Clare glanced around the park and gave a small smile, "Yeah. It is."

And he offered one last smile before turning back to his essay.

Eli

On Monday morning, Eli shut his alarm clock off and shut his eyes tightly, blocking out the light that was visible through the thin curtains. He stayed still in bed, breathing lightly, but when he heard movement from the room next to him, his parents room, he decided that it was time to get up. If Bullfrog, the late riser, was up, Eli knew that he had to get moving.

He stepped into the bathroom and turned on the shower and waited for it to get warm. Once it was warm enough, he stepped underneath the water and relaxed against the wall. The warm water relaxed his muscles and helped ease away the stress that had been on his shoulders. Eli let the water drip down his face, liking the fresh feeling that came with it. And he thought about last night, and how he had called Clare repeatedly, hanging up every time that she picked up.

"Hello?" Her voice rang in his ear and he cringed, letting out a noise that sounded like a hissing cat.

"Who is this?"

Eli slammed the phone down and closed his eyes, trying to breathe normally. This was the sixth time that he had done that. And he was extremely happy that she didn't have caller ID.

He sighed at his memory.

Way to be manly, Eli, He thought as he turned off the water.

Eli and his manly self stepped out of the shower, not ready to start the day that had already started.

.

.

.

Eli sat at the lunch table outside, flipping through one of his comics. He preferred to be alone during lunch. He like the peace and the quiet. He just wanted to read a book/comic and listen to his music.

Dear lord, I sound like a loner, Eli thought and smiled to himself.

Bored, he set down his comic, dog-earring the page, and reached into his bag to pull out a scrap piece of paper. He pulled out an old geometry test from his old school. Without looking at the grade, he flipped the paper over and started drawing. He scribbled odd shapes and strange designs, and they came out bumpy and slightly exotic because of the wooden table.

Eli started to pull out another piece of paper when he saw someone sit across from him.

He cringed when he saw Clare's angry face.

"Hello, Edwards-" Eli started, putting a smirk on his face.

"Don't 'Edwards' me," She snapped and Eli wanted to laugh at her angry expression, "you never called." She added, her tone still stern.

"-I'm good, thanks for asking." He mocked and took a sip of his apple juice.

Clare glared and watched him drink the juice. Eli smirked and then sighed, deciding it better to try to calm the angry girl.

She sure is beautiful when she's angry, Eli thought, and not for the first time, he mentally smacked himself.

"Look, Edwards," Eli noticed a faint blush reach Clare's cheeks when he said her last name, "I'm sorry for not calling. Do you forgive me?" Eli slid his hand on top of hers and she took her hand away quickly.

"Don't mock me." Clare said, her chin out, and her voice indignant.

"Me? Mock? Never." Eli placed a hand on his heart and Clare huffed, "Alright, Alright. How about this. I'll call you tonight and-," Clare had began to interrupt but Eli held up his hand, "and we'll try to get together, okay?"

Clare thought about it for a moment and then sighed deeply, "Okay. Fine. But, and listen to this, Mr. Screw-the-police, call me before six."

Clare folded her arms against her chest and Eli stared at her with an awed expression, "Did you say 'screw'? I'm pretty sure that the term is 'Fuck the police'"

Her posture stiffened and her lips pursed, "I don't curse."

"Ah. You don't? Well, that fucking sucks, doesn't it? Don't you get sick and fucking tired of not cursing? Or do you not give a shit? ...Fuck?" Eli tried not to laugh at her reddening cheeks.

"You're obnoxious. And juvenile. And no, I don't give a...crap."

Eli howled with laughter, "You said crap! Doesn't that count?" And her face turned so red that he was afraid that it was going to explode.

Clare stood up and started walking away, her hands balled into fists at her sides. Eli stopped laughing and swiftly stood up and ran in front of her, blocking her path. Clare looked down at the ground and Eli bent his head down to try to get her to look at him.

"Come on, Edwards. You have to look at me sometime." Eli coaxed, a bit of sarcasm in his voice.

And Clare's head snapped up, without realizing that Eli's head was right there. Their faces were close, so close that Eli could count the freckles on her nose.

Fifteen freckles. That's a good number, Eli thought, but was mesmerized by her eyes.

And their breath mixed together. And Eli noticed that her lips were red. Red like a strawberry. And they were tempting and they looked so delicious, and he just wanted to kiss them. He felt himself lean closer to her-

Clare moved back, clearing her throat. She ran her fingers through her hair and look uncomfortable. Eli let out a gush of air that he didn't know he was holding. He bit his lip and cleared his throat, preparing to talk.

"I'm sorry. I can be a huge asshole, "And he cringed when he cursed, "But I'll call you tonight, okay? I promise." And he looked so sincere that Clare couldn't help but trust that he would call.

And Without another word, Eli walked back to his lunch table and packed up, leaving Clare to wonder what the heck just happened.

...Review? ;)