Nightmares

"Who is this kid?"

"My sister's daughter... Will you let her live here? You know that Olvia's gone and Robin doesn't have any other place to go to..."

"And you still took her in without asking me?"

"Well, I didn't have a choice..."

"Jeez... She's going to be just a burden, for sure! We have our own daughter too!"

"Well, I don't think Robin is going to be any more of a bother than she is..."

"Are you comparing her to that kid?"

"O-of course not..."

The next thing Robin heard was her own startled gasp as she opened her eyes. She panted, looking at the murky ceiling of her and Nami's bedroom. Robin had seen a dream of her childhood again. For some reason there were always the same words, always the same two people arguing and talking about... her. Robin closed her eyes. Why did those memories always keep haunting her? She would've slept a lot more better if the fear that she would see horror-like pictures of her past again wouldn't bother her all the time. She couldn't help but fear them. She couldn't help but believe every word that were said in those dreams. Like she would've been ten years old again, believing that she was always in someone's way or someone's burden. And that everything was her fault. Robin turned on her side under the covers and saw Nami in the bed next to hers. Even through the murkiness she saw that the navigator was sleeping soundly, one hand under the pillow, breathing softly. Robin allowed the sound to lull her back to sleep.

"FOOD!"

"Wait, idiot! It's not ready yet!"

Robin woke up with a start to some strange sizzling noise. Light flooded in through the windows and Nami's bed was empty. Robin got up from the bed slowly and shook her head. How did they always manage to be so noisy so early in the morning? She changed clothes and made her way to the kitchen, where she assumed everyone to be.

Almost immediately after she opened the kitchen door, she heard Sanji's delighted voice.

"Ohh, Robin-chwan, good morning! You woke up just in time for breakfast!", he said, lovesick as always. Robin, appreciating this familiar gesture after her night, smiled genuinely back.

"Morning to everyone", she greeted, and her crewmates greeted her back in unison. "What happened to the captain?" She had noticed Luffy, who was sitting on the floor next to Sanji's feet, blowing frantically on his fingers which were swollen and gleaming red.

"Ah, that moron just slammed his hand on the burning hot pan. Thought the food was ready", Sanji said indifferently.

"But it already looked like it was ready!", Luffy whined from the floor.

"That doesn't mean anything!", Sanji shot back and put his foot on top of Luffy's head. "And don't ever do that again! What if your crappy rubber bacteria get into the ladies' foods?"

Luffy muttered something incoherent as Robin sat next to Nami.

"You slept longer than usual", Nami noted. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes, yes", Robin answered, still smiling. "You don't have to be worried about me anymore."

Nami looked at Robin suspiciously for a while, but then she smiled, extended her hand and said briskly; "Pass the salad, please."

The dream haunted Robin that whole day. She didn't know what she should do about them. She didn't want to see them anymore, she was sure about that. She knew that she had told Nami she was alright, but... She just didn't want to bother her crewmates any more than she had to. And the problem was just about dreams. That wasn't any reason to unnerve the others.

While sitting in the aquarium and talking with Nami, she tried not to think about the dreams.

While watching Franky work with Usopp, she tried not to think about the dreams.

While reading her book in the crow's nest where Zoro was training at the same time, she tried not to think about the dreams.

While going to see Chopper in the afternoon and completely startling him by suddenly opening the door, she tried not to think about the dreams.

Even while helping Sanji pick up the used plates from the dinner table (even though he said she didn't need to help at all), she tried not to think about the dreams.

When the sun started to set, Robin was still sitting out on the deck, trying to read her book and battling with her dreams. What was wrong with her? They were just dreams! Just dreams!

Or were they?, a small voice inside her head said.

No, they weren't just any dreams. They were things that had really happened to Robin, things she had really lived through. And she didn't want to live through those same things again. Her eyes didn't see the words in the book. She read the same sentences over and over again without understanding anything.

"Stupid kid! Don't just bawl there!"

"There she goes! Get her!"

"Why are you running away? You don't have any hope! You don't have anyone who'd want to take you!"

"You don't have hope anymore, Nico Robin!"

Robin shook her head and tried, with all her might, to get her thoughts in order, but tears were already rolling down her cheeks.

"She's just a burden!"

"No, stop...", Robin muttered in despair, her hands covering her ears.

"Just a burden!"

A burden...

Robin crumpled against the table, her hands tangled in her hair, trying to silence the voices. Stop it already!

Suddenly she heard an entirely different sound. Music... Violin, to be exact. Slowly, she lifted her head and looked to the direction of the sound.

Brook was standing next to the railing. He was playing Binks Sake like he was expected to, humming softly along with the song. The sun had almost gone under the horizon, making the sight somewhat beautiful and comforting. Brook turned slightly and saw Robin.

"Oh, Robin-san, good evening", he greeted. "I'm sorry I didn't notice you. I didn't know you were still awake."

"No, I don't mind...", Robin said quietly.

"Yo ho ho ho. That's good. I just can't sleep. I want to enjoy every bit of the sun as long as it lasts", Brook said cheerfully, still playing.

Robin smiled a bit and rose from her chair. She walked to where Brook stood and watched the sunset with him. There was silence during which Brook only played his violin and Robin watched the sea, lost in her thoughts.

"If I may ask...", Brook began carefully after a while, breaking the silence. "Did you have a specific reason for being up this late?"

Robin couldn't say anything. It wasn't as if she didn't want to tell Brook. She just couldn't say it. As if all the voices would've come back if she even so much as mentioned it. When Robin didn't answer, Brook sighed.

"I see... Well, I'm not going to force you to tell me, of course", he said calmly. "But I can tell you something in return."

Robin looked at him, slightly curious.

"Always, when I feel insecure on this ship, I remind myself of something; Luffy takes care of all of his crewmates, that's for sure", Brook said, in a tone entirely different from when he goofed around or asked to see girls' panties. "You're safe with Luffy that way."

Robin just stared at him in amazement. She had never thought about it like that. She looked out into the ocean again. She didn't hear any of the voices now. She didn't have to battle with them anymore. She felt like a knot had loosened and opened inside her chest; like some kind of pressure had fallen off. At last, she smiled a true smile.

"Yes", she said and watched as the last ray of sunlight finally went under the horizon. "Safe."

Robin never saw these nightmares again.