A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaaack! I'm into this story more, so yay! I planned out each chapter. So there will probably be about 7 ish. Not sure, though, because you guys might come up with an amazing idea(s) and I'll make it longer! XD Hahaha I'll let you read the story.

Chapter 3:

James awoke on the couch, laying down and really taking up the whole thing. He rose slowly, head spinning from the movement, only to look around to see no one. He glanced at the clock, it screaming at him that it was 10 am, and shot off the couch…only to see that it was Saturday. They didn't work on Saturday's. He sighed in relief and went into his room to change and wash up.

As he pulled on a black long sleeve shirt and his dark skinny jeans, he heard the front door open. "Anybody home?"

"In here!" James yelled back, hopping around as he pulled his Vans on. Carlos came through the door and frowned.

"Why do you wear long sleeves in this weather?"

James shrugged. "I get cold easily."

Carlos nodded in understanding. "Well, we're all down at the pool. Want to join us?"

James smiled. "Sure."

Together, the two walked down to where the rest of the band sat. James picked a chair at a table where Logan sat reading his book. "Hey." The genius looked up.

"Hey."

"Anything new?" Carlos asked.

"Well, Camille is flirting with me again. So-"

"You should ask her out on a date!" Carlos said, nudging Logan's side.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Sasha asked where you were. She wanted to talk to you." Before the two others knew it, Carlos was gone, leaving only air to occupy his seat. Logan laughed and said "And Kendall and Jo have been…cuddling. It kind of disgusts me."

James nodded. "I can see why. I mean, they look more like siblings than anything else."

Logan laughed. "No. I mean, why do they do it so much? I get it once in a while. And I also hate the fact that it's not you and him." At James' blush and stutters, Logan sighed. "I've seen the way you look at him, James. There's no hiding anything from me. I can read people really well."

Yeah. Sure. If you read people so well, then why haven't you caught me? Why haven't you stopped me from what I do? From what I'm addicted to?

James only nodded.

Something buzzed, and Logan pulled his phone out and sighed. "Camille needs to see me."

"Go ask her on a date before she asks you." James smiled sadly as he stood and walked away.

Unfortunately, he had to pass Palm Woods longest lasting couple kissing and cuddling.

Kendall looked so happy, just holding that…that girl in his arms and laughing with her. It made James feel so many emotions. Jealousy, anger, sadness, and…is that a tinge of hatred? He couldn't hate the girl. No, he didn't. He hated their relationship.

James found himself storming into the apartment, his dark thoughts slowly taking over in his mind. He clutched his head as he stumbled into his room and bathroom, shutting and locking the door.

He's never going to love you, James… He'll always love her.

She better, anyways. She's prettier, nicer, caring, whole…

She's no mess, James. She's all he's ever wanted. She's what he needs.

He hates you. Pities you. Doesn't want you…

"STOP IT!" He slammed his fist against the wall, collapsing onto the ground as he clutched his head. He hated the voices. Hated them. They made him feel like shit.

He got up again, holding his head in one hand and searching the drawers frantically with the other. Where was his blade? He needed his blade…

"James? You ok?" A voice came through the door.

"Uh…" James shut the drawer and splashed his face. "Yeah. Just, um, washing my face."

"Well, hurry. We're leaving for the studio in a few. Gustavo called and wants us there…" Carlos said.

"Ok! I'll be right out!"

James grabbed his blade and wrapped it in toilet paper, shoving it in his pocket. He opened the door to a confused Carlos. "Why were you washing your face?"

James shrugged. "I was feeling clammy. I'm fine, though."

"If you say so…" Carlos grabbed James' wrist, not seeing the visible wince in James' facial features, and tugged him down the hall. "I don't know why Gustavo called us. I think it was to work on harmonies or dance moves. Not sure."

"Hmm." James said thoughtfully while following Carlos. The two met Logan and Kendall at their convertible and quietly drove to the studio.

Gustavo was standing in front of the four boys after about three hours of rehearsal. "James! What's wrong with you? You're supposed to sing the chorus with fire! Not ice! I want fire! Not ice! All you are giving me is ice! You're also off key! And the dancing! Don't even get me started on that! God, I don't even know why Kendall would want you to come with him here! You suck! You have no talent and-"

Gustavo was cut off when a fist collided with his face. He fell back in horror as he saw James above him, glaring at him with the coldest, most broken eyes he had ever seen. "Fuck you, you fucking asshole." James knelt down and grasped Gustavo's neck, pressing lightly. "Try going through all the shit I've gone through for every fucking day since I was twelve." He growled out. "If you ever experienced half the pain I went through, you wouldn't even be able to handle it. So don't fucking say I have no talent and I suck." James pressed harder on his neck, making Gustavo cough, before lifting his hand and walking out of the room.

Gustavo breathed a bit and sat up with a bewildered look. "What's his problem?"

The boys looked at each other and shrugged.

James, on the other hand, was walking into the bathroom. He knew he only had a little time, so he took his blade out quickly and gingerly took the bandages off so he could reuse them.

Even Gustavo hates you. He just has the guts to tell you how much. You have no talent, James. He was right. You can't sing or dance-"

"NO! STOP TALKING!" James yelled through his tears, making a jagged line across his right forearm. He repeated the action three more times, sobbing through the dark thoughts threatening to make him go insane.

"James!"

James stopped what he was doing, pausing with the razor hovering over his arm. He saw Logan come over to him, grabbing the blade and throwing it on the counter and grabbing James' arm. He watched Logan's eyes widen at all the scars on the limb he held.

"James?" The pretty boy looked away. "James." Logan grabbed James' chin, forcing the taller boy to look at him. "Why? What's been going on with you? How could you turn to…this?"

James swallowed. "That's none of your business."

Logan threw James' arm down. "It is my business! You're my best friend! We're practically brothers! I deserve to know at least why you do this!"

"You want to know why?" James growled out, shoving Logan back.

"Yeah." Logan shoved James back.

James pushed Logan against the wall, pushing his shoulders back and pressing himself against the smaller boy while leaning down to whisper into his ear. "I do this because I'm dead inside. I died long ago. I'm broken beyond repair, Logan. My mom's dead, she would've turned 42 yesterday. My dad's a drunken bastard who beats his own kid whenever he sees him. The guy I love doesn't love me back. But instead, loves another girl and practically rubs it in my face. Every. Fucking. Day. I have people telling me what shit I am. How disgraceful to them I am. This is the only way I can feel human. The only way to relieve the pain." James pushed Logan against the wall harder. "So don't go telling me you can read people easily. Because I've been like this for a long time."

"James…" Logan whimpered, tears falling from his eyes.

"Tell anyone, I'm leaking your secret."

Logan eyes widened as James back up and reapplied his bandages. "What?"

"Of how you killed Carlos' dog while driving. Of how you broke Kendall's dad's hockey stick. Of how you changed Carlos' grade two years ago in the computer when he wanted to earn that grade. He got good grades that semester he thought he earned when really you just changed them. You see? You're not so innocent either. Yep. They'll know if you tell them about this. They'll be crushed."

"J-James. This is serious…"

"Them hating you is also serious." James said, putting the blade back in his pocket.

"How-?"

"I'm not the stupid, vain brunette you know. I watch people and read them." James left it at that, walking out.

"James…" Logan exhaled, eyes still wide at what his friend had been doing for…five years? Couldn't be. But it was.

"Remember what I said." James opened the door. "You should go back. Or Gustavo will be pissed. I think I made my message clear to him, so I'll be leaving."

"I'm going with you. Or you're staying here. I'm not leaving you alone." Logan said, glaring at the pretty boy.

James laughed. "Really, Logan? Really?"

"Yes. Now walk back to the recording booth and be quiet." Logan growled out.

James' eyes widened a little bit before nodding and grumbling, "Fine."

The two walked back into the booth, gaining questioning stares from both Kendall and Carlos. James only stood on the side, a scowl planted firmly on his face.

"Um…ok, dogs. We'll start with, um, Take a Shot in the Dark." Gustavo said, glancing at James quite frequently and being nicer throughout the whole evening. Not once did Gustavo yell the rest of the day. He just really stayed quiet and didn't say anything. Each of the boys had looked at James with confused glances, only to receive a glare in return. They all knew something was wrong with James, but Logan was the only person who really knew. And keeping that secret was slowly killing him. Making him more guilty, making him more angry, and making him feel pity for James. Yeah. Pity. He couldn't help it, though. He just needed to hide it from James…because if there was one thing James hated, it was pity.

Kendall, though, had grown more worried about James. Maybe he could use someone to talk to? Maybe he needed a shoulder to lean on? But what if Kendall did something stupid? Like kiss him? He shook his head. James needed his friends. So his friends were going to be there for him.

A/N: tada! I hope it was ok! I liked this chapter. James went bad ass. :) Logan found out, though? But Logan's not so innocent, either. Hahaha. REVIEW and tell me how it was! And, if you have any ideas, REVIEW and tell me!