I return! :) What can I say? Korra news has made me excited about A:tLA again.

III. North Pole

1.

I felt like a sleepwalker. Everything after we left the Western Air Temple happened so fast that I felt like in the span of a single moment I had gone from saying goodbye to Yangchen to standing in front of the entire Northern royal court being presented by Shil Hevat. Arin and I held hands tightly as we looked up at the chief and his advisors who in turn leered down at us.

"This," Shil Hevat indicated us, "is Arin, daughter of the Southern chief, and this is Rika, his niece." I tried not to show how intimidated I was when all the Northerners examined me.

"I am Chief Mituk." Responded the Northern chief. He was fairly young—younger than my father—and the only kind face that I could see. The others in the council were very stern or almost very angry looking. I was terrified. I longed to back on the boat with the friendly, familiar crewmembers. In the months we had travelled, that boat had begun to feel almost like home. Now, here I was, a foreigner.

"We have long awaited their arrival." Chief Mituk went on, "And we thank you, Shil Hevat, for bringing them here safely."

"It was my pleasure." Grinned Shil Hevat.

"We invite you stay for the banquet tonight in the palace." Added Chief Mituk. "As a way for us to express our gratitude."

"I would be honored." Shil Hevat bowed.

"Now, please, will someone show the girls to their rooms?" asked Chief Mituk. "They must be cleaned up and they will need help settling into their new home." Out of nowhere, two servants appeared at our sides. They helped us carry our belongings up to two lavish rooms high up in the palace. I found that I liked my room. It wasn't too big, but I had a nice bed and a balcony on which I could see the whole city. My room was connected to Arin's by a washroom with heated, running water. I washed my face, changed my clothes, and brushed my hair. In the mirror, I looked at myself. I looked exhausted but I didn't have time to relax. Once Arin and I were made presentable, we were shown off to the citizens of the North Pole. A giant crowd had gathered in front of the palace as Arin and I stood on a platform out in front of them. The crowd seemed even more hostile than the council earlier. There were some grumbling shouts and a few people had to be subdued by giant palace guards. Chief Mituk made a long speech about peace and harmony between the two tribes and how Arin and I personified that mission. It was so dull that I could barely stay awake during it and Arin had to keep pinching me to keep me from nodding off. Everyone in the North Pole was watching me and judging me. The least I could do was pretend to be alert and interested. I would only get one first impression with them. I was incredibly thankful when Arin and I were brought back inside and allowed to finally take a nap.

At night, I discovered that the icy city sparkled from a million lit lanterns. I could have spent hours standing on the balcony in my room staring at it, but I was soon summoned to dinner in a dining hall that was nearly as magnificent. A long table filled with more food than I had ever seen. A waterfall fell softly and comfortingly in the background as servants bustled back and forth serving everyone. Shil Hevat, Arin, and I were the guests of honor that night and we sat in the middle of the table. Many people walked up to us, not to say anything, but just to look at us. It was almost as if they didn't believe we were real. Like we were frauds, sent by the South as a trick. But we were genuine and Arin and I smiled our most charming smiles. We were on our best behavior. Everyone else seemed to be on their best behavior, too, though I could not help but get the feeling that after they grinned and greeted us, they were whispering about us as soon as they thought they were out of our earshot.

After dinner, we were treated to a performance of dancers. They were mesmerizing. Some of them were waterbenders and they framed the graceful dancers with arcs of shimmering water. I was completely hypnotized by it. Dancing, explained Chief Mituk, was one of the most important forms of art in the North. In addition, it was very dear to him personally. He had danced as a younger man and now—here I detected a hint of pride in his voice—his son danced, too. Indeed, the prince was the star of the show. His movements were as fluid as his waterbending. Afterwards, Arin and I were introduced to him.

"Arin, Rika," said Chief Mituk, "this is my son, Keon." Keon was a handsome boy, but he had a slightly haughty look to him that I immediately disliked. He was a year older than me, it turned out, but he looked older. He was very tall and muscular. Arin, it seemed, liked him. She blushed coquettishly as they were introduced and in response, Keon grinned at her.

Gross! I thought.

"You're a terrific waterbender." Said Arin. We had moved from the dining hall into a lounge room to talk and get to know each other. We were alone, just the three of us, and it felt strangely quiet after the noise and excitement of dinner.

"Thank you." he replied. "I practice so much. It only makes sense that I'm good."

"I practice a lot, too." Arin said quickly. "The entire journey from home was by boat so there was lots of water to practice with."

"That's nice." Said Keon dismissively. "What about you?"

"I'm not one." I mumbled.

"Oh." Said Keon. After that, he completely ignored me to talk to Arin. That was just as well. I was exhausted and overwhelmed and I didn't like him very much. I was not desperate for his attention as Arin seemed to be.

The next day (and the subsequent days, as I would soon discover) would not be as exciting as that first night. The palace was empty and quiet and not unlike my home in the South Pole. I ventured around: first with Arin and then just by myself. Arin had better things to do, she told me. She was going to tour the city with Keon and several others to look for a waterbending instructor. She couldn't learn with Keon and his teacher, we learned, because he only taught boys. Waterbending was different for men and women here. I was invited to go with them but upon learning the purpose of the trip, I immediately declined and instead sulked around the palace alone and envious.

Shil Hevat and the waterbenders on the boat left without much fanfare. I said a simple goodbye to him and I found myself tearing up a little when we hugged. He let me keep the Pai Sho board, saying that I won it from him in one of our games. I didn't recall that but I thanked him anyway and I felt honored that he would let me have it. I didn't feel truly sad until I saw the Southern boat disappear into the distant ocean. Now, Arin and I were the only Southerners in the North Pole. It was overwhelming. She seemed upset, too, but she wouldn't admit it.

Dull days turned to dull weeks and though I took brief daytrips into the city, I still felt like a tourist. They only showed us the main, popular places to go and I didn't feel like I knew the city very well. If I was going to be living here for the next four years, I figured, it should at least feel like home. Nonetheless, I lingered in the palace, alone and apprehensive and bored. Arin spent a lot of her time practicing her waterbending or spending time with her new friends and I didn't want anything to do with Keon. The adults in the palace were working and they, for the most part, didn't want anything to do with me except for perhaps once or twice a week when the higher-ups would request Arin's and my presence at dinner for no reason other than to act like we were being diplomatic and important and then send word back to our families about it. They spoke to us cordially, but I never really got the feeling that they liked us all that much, except from Chief Mituk who was always friendly and smiling.

Eventually, someone decided that Arin and I should continue our schooling that we had all but abandoned after leaving home. That filled my days. It was interesting learning things in the North because they had a different perspective than we had in the South. Our teacher was a lot nicer than our teacher at home and I took a liking to her and for the first time in my life, I enjoyed our schooling. Arin resented it. Keon was indifferent, but he was a know-it-all and gaped at us in incredulous disbelief when we proved to be lacking in North Pole history. He was annoying to learn with and ruined for me what was otherwise an enjoyable experience.

The schooling filled my days a couple times a week, but for the other days, I felt empty and purposeless. I wrote to Yangchen a lot, but many of the letters were almost journal-like, as if I didn't really intend to send them to her. They were more personal than anything before. I filled them with emotions and random thoughts rather than telling her what was going on because, truth be told, not much did. All in all, I wasn't really sure if sending them to her was even possible. After about a month, I approached Chief Mituk about it and he promised that as soon as the next time Air Nomads visited, he would be sure to tell me.

After speaking to his father, I ran into Keon.

"What were you doing?" he asked me accusatorily.

"I just had to ask Chief Mituk a question." I answered. I tried to walk by him but he wouldn't leave me alone.

"About what?"

"It's none of your business." I snapped. He got around me and stood in front of me. When I tried to go around him, he stepped to the side. He was a lot bigger than me. I stopped attempting to go past him and crossed my arms. "What?"

"I asked you what you were talking to my father about."

"I told you that it was none of your business."

"I think if you told my father you could tell me."

"Well, if your father thinks you should know it, then maybe he'll tell you."

"My father never tells me anything. And I want you to tell me."

"You're out of luck then." I tried to shove past him now but he wouldn't budge.

"You better be careful," he chuckled, "if it seems like we get in a fight, we could ruin the peace between our tribes." I ignored him and shoved him again but he just laughed. "I thought you were supposed to be a 'peaceful' diplomat."

"I am!" I protested. "I just thought you were supposed to be an accommodating host."

We both glared at each other after that. Neither of us had anything to say. I was secretly pleased that I had been able to come up with such a good comeback. Our last few confrontations had ended with me embarrassed and angry.

"Where's your sister?" he finally asked.

"Arin is my cousin."

"Right. Where is she?"

I shrugged. "I haven't seen her all day." And I hadn't. It was noon and she had been sleeping when I got up and I assumed she still was. "Why do you want to know where she is?"

"Because I'm lonely and I'd like to talk to someone intelligent." I was out of clever responses.

"Can you just leave me alone, then?"

"Fine." He stepped aside and I strode past him as quickly as I could. My hands were shaking I was so angry. This had been the third time this week he'd harassed me for no real reason and I had had it.

I walked and walked without knowing where I was going. All I knew was that I had to get as far away from Keon as I possibly could.

I ended up in a quiet library somewhere in the depths of the palace. I found paper and pen and ink and began to write.

Yangchen, I scribbled, I am so angry right now.

I don't know how I am supposed to last another second here. I am so unhappy. Every day is so boring. I have nothing to do. I know I've written to you so many times but this time is different. You don't have to read all those other letters. They're boring compared to this.

I just got into a fight with Keon. I have hardly been here a month and I already hate him. How am I supposed to spend the next four years living in the same house as him? He makes my skin crawl. He does things just to make me angry like standing in my way or asking me stupid questions that I can't answer. He thinks he's so much better than me when he's not. He thinks I am so dumb. He hates me, too, I think. I don't know what I am going to do about him. I want to kill him!

I paused in writing for a moment. I couldn't believe what I had just written and I couldn't believe that I truly meant it! If Keon had followed me into that room I probably would have stood up and punched him in the face.

He likes Arin, though. I wrote next. He really likes her. They waterbend together even though they're not supposed to because women are supposed to do their waterbending separately from men. The only time Keon is even the slightest bit nice to me is when he's asking me where Arin is. Usually Arin is out, though. She has made a lot of new friends through her waterbending classes. I haven't made any friends. I'm lonely. I wish you could visit me. I wish I could stay with you instead of staying here. But, it's my duty to be here so I won't complain anymore.

I have calmed down a lot, now. I guess this is all I have to write. I'm sure I'll end up writing to you ten more times before I have the opportunity to actually send anything to you.

Always,

Rika.

I reread the letter feeling disappointed with it. I felt empty now. I folded up the letter and put it in my pocket. The library was very quiet and there were many scrolls and books but nothing there interested me. I sat down in between two of the shelves and cried.

I wanted to go home. I hated myself for wanting to go here and I hated everyone around me. I sobbed and sobbed. I didn't think I could ever feel worse than I felt at that moment. I felt like I was at the bottom of a well, stuck in a hole looking up at a tiny pinprick of light that was miles above my head. There was no escape and no way out. I thought, at that time, that that had to be what being a prisoner with no hope of escape felt like. The funny thing is, when I actually was a prisoner, I didn't cry half as much.

Arin found me eventually. I had for the most part been able to pull myself together by then, but it was obvious that I had been upset. Arin, for as long as I'd known her, had never been one to sympathize with me. If I cried, she called me a baby. If I wanted my mom, she told me to grow up. But at this time, I think there was something wrong with her, too, because she sat with me without saying anything. She put her arm around me and I cried a little bit more.

"I want to go home." I told her.

"Why?" she asked. "There's so much to do here. You just have to find it." I wanted to point out that she had lots of things to do as a waterbender, but I didn't. She hugged me. "I'll help you."

"You will?"

"Of course. Now clean yourself up, you look terrible, and let's get some food." I nodded as she helped me up briskly reverting back to her what was more of her usual self. I'd soon find that what I was thought her 'usual' self was beginning to change. Arin was fourteen and beginning to mature a lot quicker than I would realize. She was always so much older to me, but now she was nearly an adult and her childish brattiness was gradually beginning to fade away. We spent the rest of the day together and didn't see Keon at all during it and that night, we put her bed into my room and we went back to sharing a room. I had never been happier for her company.

I miss her, now. I wish we had spent more time together when we could.