A Few Hours Later.
Kakashi hadn't said much after that.
He was quiet the whole walk home.
At least, until Sakura finally broke the silence.
"You're mad."
"No."
"Then what is it? I thought you wanted-"
"I may have wanted revenge at first. But I can't watch you do this to your self." he spares her a breif glance and looks away when he's met with a scrutinizing glare . "You've changed. You're different." He shrugs, brows creasing in worry.
"Of course I am. All of my friends were murdered. In front of me. I always thought Naruto was basically invincible. I mean,-" she laughs in disbelief, throwing her arms in the air at her naievity. "-it doesn't get more fucked up than that . Imagine how I felt when-"
"Imagine how I felt!" He yells, and the sudden escalation of emotion in his tone stops her in her tracks. "Do you ever think about how I felt? I thought you were fucking dead Sakura!"
She watches as he lets himself unravel before her. His eyes pleading with her to understand.
"The investigation report came back first.Nine people killed. Then the rumors that there was a survivor. Every single one of my students involved. No matter how it turned out it was bound to be horrible." He began pacing, his breathing coming in more rapidly. "and then I saw you. Your delicate face- stuffed full of breathing tubes. Your neck-" his eyes dart to her scar and she feels his remorse. "-bloody and stitched. Your chakra- depleted. You were a fucking shell! Don't you understand? I thought you were gone. At the very best, a fucking vegetable."
Now he was yelling right at her, his pacing steps halting before her, his eyes glaring into her as if they could see her soul.
"And do you know what that meant? Hm?-" his expression is unreadable and she internally curses his mask. "-It meant everyone I've ever loved was dead again. I'd lost absolutely everyone that ever meant anything to me at all."
Her lips quiver as she feels tears stinging her eyes. More from his anger than his words.
But he doesn't stop there, using his palms to shove her shoulders back aggressively.
Their eyes lock and she feels the tension between them like it's tangible.
He shoves again, harder, and she gasps in stunned surprise.
"Did you ever think about any of that? Think about me? Because it doesn't fucking look like it when you're like that" he gestures in the direction they'd come from. But she knows what he means.
"You didn't look like the Sakura that I was so happy to see open her eyes in the hospital then? Hm?"
"This is the Sakura that woke up!" She yells back at him, resolve firm in her watery eyes.
"Well where the fuck is her heart then?" He asks, eyes never breaking free of hers.
He takes an intimidating step towards her. Accentuating his accusatory words.
"It died with them-" she whispers.
"Don't give me that fucking bullshit-" he barks at her, emphasizing the last word with another hard jab at her shoulder.
She snaps, when her back hits a near by tree trunk, a look of disbelief staining her face.
She pushes him in return and speechlessness overtakes them both.
He hesitates, staring at her with something indecipherable in his eyes.
Her heart is pounding.
Time seems to slow down.
Then he shoves her again. Harder than any before it.
This time it's a challenge.
She can see it in his eyes as he pins her to the tree.
With out hesitation she returns the blow, but before he can be fully pushed away, he grabs the back of her arm and pulls her into him, using her own momentum against her.
She shoves at his shoulders but he ignores her, his eyes fixed on hers.
His hand loops around the back of her neck and she stills.
In one fluid motion he pulls his mask down and closes the distance.
His lips on hers in urgency.
As soon as she's seen his face any last remnants of defiance fades from her.
Welcoming him in.
A barrage of emotion pummeling her as their lips move against each other.
She is angry.
She is sad.
She is a million things in this moment, yet all she can bring herself to do is return the kiss.
The one she's wanted from him since all this began.
She hadn't imagined it being so passionate in her head. But she can't see it any other way now.
He's hot right? I think so too.
If only I could've seen what he was really trying to say then, then maybe I could've spared his feelings in all of this.
But that's not life.
Life is messy, hard, and often times violent.
Like sex.
That leaves no room for a kind soul like kakashis.
Although that's the exact sort of thinking that ended up hurting both of us in the long run.
4 days before the massacre
"You never get it."
"What is there to get, Sasuke?"
"It's bleak! Okay? My perspective is jaded. What else do you want from me?"
His anger bubbles up almost visibly and Sakura is nearly off put by it, but her own stubbornness doesn't allow her to back down.
"I just don't understand why you're so angry all the time. Why can't you just breathe and enjoy the little things?"
"I wake up in the morning and you know what happens? I remember who I am. I remember the things I've seen. All the things I've done to bring me to this new day I'm experiencing-" he begins pacing the floor of their apartment, looking at her like it's something that should be obvious.
"Isn't that what everyone does?"
"See," he throws his hands up in frustration. "this is what I mean! You don't get it."
"Sasuke, I know what you've been through has never been easy but-" .
"it doesn't just go away, Sakura." He says quietly. His gentle tone causing her to fall silent. "Until you've experienced loss, murder, grief in the way I have you just can't fathom-".
"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid, Sasuke, okay? You just need help -"
"Help?" He scoffs "When have I ever asked for help? Why would I need it now? Wouldn't help have been more useful back when my clan was massacred? Shouldn't someone have helped Itachi? The village didn't do it. No, the village only helped whoever it served them best at the moment. Itachi was a great scapegoat." He laughs darkly. His eyes peering through their curtains to something in the distance she can't make out.
"That's in the past now-"
"For you, maybe." His gaze meets hers and it's cold. Emotionless.
His eyes seem to pierce through her unforgivingly. Judgmentally.