Odds and Ends
Wir. Sind Verschraubt. (We. Are Screwed.)
A/N: That was German, just so ya know…'Kay, I'm done.
Kate sat there, admiring her shotgun. It wasn't so bad. I mean, it was pink, but it kind of fascinated her. She marveled at the jet black barrel, and the pink stock was glimmering by the florescent lights of the cabin.
"Earth to Kate," Jack said, making her jump. He smiled.
"What do you want?" she replied sourly.
"Well, I figured we're going to be here awhile. Do you…" he paused to think. "Do you have a favorite kind of food?"
"Hm. Maybe Mexican. I'm a sucker for taco salad."
"Really? I'd probably have to say that I prefer fruit."
"Fruit? That's it?"
"Well, I don't eat much besides the native fruit in the place I live."
"Really? Where do you live?"
"My accent doesn't give it away?" The chuckled in unison, and Kate sighed.
"So, what do you plan to do in Germany?" she asked.
"I thought we could stick around in the city. Maybe even camp out in the country," he replied.
"Oh. Well, I hope you can speak German."
"That one could be a problem…" he trailed off.
"Great, Jack. We go into a foreign country and you can't even speak its language. Intelligent."
"Well, maybe we can hire a translator," Jack suggested.
"Yeah. Do you have any idea how much one costs?" Kate retorted, and Jack groaned.
"We are screwed."
"Don't you mean, 'Wir sind verschraubt.'?" she asked.
"What?"
"That was German, stupid!"
"What? You can speak German? Well, why didn't you tell me?"
"Sort of. I've taken a course in college last semester. And, besides, I wanted to see if you'd freak out."
"I do not freak out, okay?"
"Whatever."
"Cool. Now we won't have to walk the streets of Germany sounding like a couple of English idiots."
"Jack."
"What?"
"I'm sure a lot of people can speak English."
"…Oh."
It became creepily quiet after that conversation. It was starting to dusk, and Kate had fallen asleep. Jack, hearing his stomach growl in hunger, and rose from the leather seat. Making his way to the back, he found a small, dark storage unit, and a small refrigerator in the midst of it.
Curious, Jack crept over to the fridge, and opened it. There was a box of chicken and a few bottles of water and soda. Jack thought that Gary, the pilot, wouldn't miss his chicken and a bottle of pop so much, so he grabbed the latter and set it on top of the fridge, and grabbing the former soon after.
Taking his helmet off for the second time since who knows when, he took in a breath of fresh air. His façade was gone; Jack became the good ol' Crash Bandicoot once again.
The orange anthro sat on a nearby crate and heartily devoured his meal.
Gary sighed. His little girl was growing up so fast. She was already in college for crying out loud! He saw that they were directly over the German border. He decided that, since Jack did not give an exact location, he would enter Berlin, Germany. He coughed, and became slightly thirsty. Setting a course for Berlin, he turned on the auto pilot and left the cockpit.
Walking to the back of the plane, he saw Kate sleeping. He smiled and continued to walk back into the small storage unit so he could grab a soda. But what he didn't notice that a certain Jack was missing.
All he had to do was grab and turn the handle and walk into the room.
Crash had frozen solid. Standing in front of him was Kate's Uncle Gary. He had absolutely no time to react when the handle turned and opened, and in stepped the man. He had a chicken leg in hand that was in the process of being consumed.
"Uh… Hi?" said the bandicoot. Crash began to wonder what Gary would do when he started rubbing his eyes. Seeing that his vision was fine, Gary stared at Crash for another two seconds and fainted. Crash, realizing that this was the only pilot — wait, he wasn't the only pilot. He had driven a plane before.
Setting the chicken back in the box, placing the box back into the fridge, and taking a swig of his soda, he got to his feet and walked into the cabin, and he gently closed the door to the storage unit. When he came into the cabin, he tip-toed past Kate, careful not to wake her up. Jack walked into the cockpit and sighed in relief.
"Crap, I forgot my helmet." He dashed back, again being careful not to wake the sleeping red head, and almost tripped over Gary's out-cold form. He hastily snatched his helmet, and made his way into the cockpit once again.
"Man. Now let's see what we have here…" he trailed off before he realized that the controls were way more advanced. He felt his stomach do a flip. Thinking rashly, he grasped onto the wheel of the plane and switched off the auto pilot. The plane began to nose-dive towards the Earth far below.
Kate was knocked nearly ten feet into the air, and was really surprised when she found herself on the other side of the cabin. "Ugh… Ow, my head hurts. I'm gonna go see what's goin' on," she stated openly. For all she knew, it was a little turbulence. But she didn't wake up on time to find that the plane had descended nearly 100 feet.
She rubbed her head, grasped the handle that led into the cabin, and turned it. "Jack?"
Said turned around to see a frozen Kate, holding her head with one hand and the door handle in the other. "Eh-heh… How's it going cupcake?" he asked sheepishly.
Kate, bewildered, walked over and sat into the co-pilot's seat. "Why… the HECK are YOU flying the freaking plane?"
"Well, your dearest Uncle Gary had some business to take care of in the back, and when the plane went through a little turbulence, he hit that half-bald head of his," he lied.
"Is he okay?" Kate asked worriedly.
"He's fine, but I could use a blanket. It's cold up here," he scoffed.
"Do you even know how to fly the plane?"
"Do I know?—well, I'll have you know that I've flown plenty of air-crafts in my lifetime," he replied in a defensive manner.
"Sure you have. So, Mr. Pilot, do you know where we're going?" Kate feigned. Jack felt like a cat on a hot tin roof.
"No," he confessed. Kate groaned.
"Great. Just freaking great. I'm stuck on a plane with a 'pilot' who doesn't know where the heck he's going or what the heck he's even doing," she said.
"Me?" Jack asked innocently.
"No, my unconscious uncle in the storage room."
"Now, now. Let's not get our panties in a twist." He immediately felt a punch to his arm. "OW! What the hell?"
"Shut up."
It became eerily quiet after that. Kate's uncle was STILL unconscious to their dismay. And just when things seem to work out, a beeping in the cockpit caught Jack's attention.
"What's that?" Kate asked apathetically.
"Well, it appears as if we are low in fuel," Jack responded.
"Great. Now I'm gonna die with you. As if things couldn't get better. No, really; what's it say?"
"Oh, if the 'E' on the fuel gauge means that 'Everything's all hunky-dory', I guess we don't have to worry about it."
"WHAT? YOU WERE SERIOUS? OH MY GOSH, WE'RE GONNA CRASH!" she yelled frantically, which was extremely odd for her.
'Don't worry,' Jack thought. 'Crash is not gonna die from any kind of crash, anytime soon.' Switching to auto-pilot, he quickly got up from the seat and began to search the plane for something that could help him with his current predicament.
Searching through the storage unit first, he noticed two backpacks side by side. He jogged over; yep, they were definitely parachutes. Grinning, he grabbed them, but remembered Gary.
'Crap,' he thought. Two parachutes; three people. Well, he could always say he "forgot", but then again, Kate would never forgive him for letting her uncle die in a hurtling aircraft.
Cursing to himself, he finally devised a plan. He tried his very best to awaken Gary, but to no avail. Cursing again, he got into the small fridge, and poured a bottle of water on the man.
"AH!" Gary exclaimed.
"Mornin', Sleeping Beauty!" Jack chided.
"What the… Wait… Wasn't there this weird half-human, half-… animal thing in here?" he asked.
"You must've had a pretty weird dream, there, Gary! I didn't see anything," he persuaded. But, the dream was way to realistic to him, thus Gary furrowed his brow and started to stare at Jack.
But then it struck him. "Who's driving the plane?" Gary shouted.
"Relax. I switched it back into auto when I got up."
"Wait, have you been driving the plane?"
"Yep, but this is definitely not a time for questions. We're low on fuel."
"Dagnabbit! I knew I shoulda packed extra. Gimme a parachute."
"Okay." Jacked forked over the parachute, and ran out of the storage unit and into the cockpit. Jack found Kate grasping onto the seat as if it were life support. "Well, it's a good thing to see you so calm in intense situations such as this."
"This is no time to be cracking jokes, Jack," she spat.
"Alright, well, it seems as if I have found a parachute to—"
He was interrupted by Gary, who was standing in front of the open airplane door. "Alright, kiddies! See you on the ground!" He leapt, leaving Jack and Kate baffled.
Jack quickly gathered his senses, and started to put on the chute pack. "What? Where's my parachute?" Kate fretted.
"Don't worry, babe. I's gots myself's a plan," he reckoned, in terrible grammar. Kate was about to scold him severely for calling her "babe", but decided against it.
Jack, almost suddenly, grabbed her, thrust her to his chest, and clipped her onto his parachute. "Wait, what are you—"she started.
"You wanna get off this thing, don't you?" he replied coolly. He led her to the open door of the plane. Kate looked at how far up they were, and felt petrified. The thing is, she had a small fear of heights.
"No! There is no freaking way I'm jumping!" she shouted over the wind.
"Like you have a choice!" he hollered back, and leapt.
As the two went spiraling down to the green earth below, Jack tried to find the string to activate the parachute. He could barely concentrate over Kate's screaming. "Kate, could you be quiet?"
Eventually, his hand came in contact with the string, and he yanked. The parachute fluttered from the backpack, and abruptly slowed the falling duo. Kate's yells ceased, to Jack's good fortune.
"Man, Kate. Could you not be such a girl?" he asked.
"Well, excuse me, but you weren't the one forced out of a plane!" she snapped. Jack laughed.
"Would you've rather went with the plane?" They heard a loud explosion as they were illuminated in an orange-yellow light. Kate silenced.
After a solid five minutes, they finally touched the ground with a thud. Kate, who was on top of the heap, quickly released herself from the binding. She groaned, and turned her body around to the right—only to meet Jack's face. Their eyes were just mere inches apart. "Howdy," Jack greeted arrogantly. Kate's eye's widened, and she shoved him away.
"Jerk," she spat. She got to her feet, and dusted herself off.
"Hey. I can't help who I am," he retorted. "Besides, we should probably get moving."
"Yeah, you're right. Let's go," she said, and began walking down the dirt path. Jack got up, shook himself, and followed.
About a mile away, Gary was hanging from a tree by his parachute. "Jack? Kate? Anyone?" he called. He simply hung there, limp as driftwood.
"Jack? Kate? Anybody! Help me down from here!" he shouted. He heard a wolf howl, and he became fearful. "Please?" he muttered. Only a couple minutes later, the strings snapped from holding the stout man for so long. Gary yelped, but got to his feet. Looking around for anything, he walked off.
As the two came closer to a heavily populated city, Jack read the billboard sign aloud—which conveniently had an English translation. "'Welcome to Berlin.' "
"The country's capital!" Kate gasped. "Do you plan on going there?"
"Well, we're in Germany. And, I really could use a nice bed for the night. So, why don't we go find a hotel or something?" Kate nodded, and they walked into the bright city lighting up the night sky.
But, Crash remembered something. "DAMMIT! OUR GUNS!" he shouted.
Well? Okay, sorry I haven't posted anything in a long while. Writer's block is a killed. But, I've been planning, and I've already got the next several chapters mapped out! So, until next time!
Note: The summary has changed! -gives a plate of pancakes to those who noticed-