Where Are You Love?

Why can't I find you?

by: SamiJane

Disclaimer: Please see Author's bio

Summary: After the Leyton wedding, Brooke Davis and Julian Baker try to figure out what's next in their own lives.

A/N: First off, I feel like how Sienna did in the second chapter - plane delays are tiresome and annoying. And second...

Thank you Trish, princetongirl, , flipflopgal, Cheerybroody15, CheeryBroody83, PeterClaire, cutiekesi, JJ, CoffeeWithCinnamon, BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE, mcdreamyslover, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, MissAlesig, ParadiseLost23, gigglingismylife, toddntan, Iz-Belle91, smc-27 , p0line for all your amazing reviews!! Seriously guys, I love all your insight and opinions because it helps me know how you think the story is going. I'm glad you all loved Brooke/Julian/Sam/Chris. I really wish Tyler could come back so that we could see something like that on screen.

cRiMsOnGoDdesS, toddntan, and p0line - omg it's like you guys are reading my mind and fishing out my ideas. lol - no spoilers yet, but maybe after this chapter i'll throw out some.

CoffeeWithCinnamon - how you feel about the show - that's mostly, exactly how i feel - especially about the attack thing, but more on that later. as for Brulian, i can't get enough of them. and since i don't want brooke to have sloppy seconds either, i'm working on that...not necessarily undoing the Pulian relationship, but you'll see...it'll take a while to get there since i want to approach everything semi slowly. i don't want to jump into anything to quickly or else it might not seem real or plausible. But I'm glad you're still continuing to read my story :)

And everyone else...I hope you had a nice weekend and I really hope you enjoy this chapter. There's some laughs and there are some serious moments. But all in all, I think you'll like it...at least, I hope you do. :)

Oh, and I will need to say that there's a short portion in the story...the idea I took from creator Mark himself - but I changed it up. You'll know what part I'm talking about.

Chapter 5: I'm My Own Nightmare Savior

- - - - - Lucas' tired eyes were met with bright sun beams peeking through the window blinds. Was it morning already? He lay still, not wanting to get up and greet the morning. It seemed as if his girl had other plans as he felt her lips press into the back of his neck.

"Morning, Luke," she whispered into his ear. He smiled at the sound of her voice.

"Morning to you, too, Linds," Lucas greeted his favorite editor with a - - - - -

- - - - - A half naked Peyton awoke with a start. Why the hell was she dreaming about Lucas and Lindsay? Talk about an effin nightmare. She ran her delicate hands through her golden locks as she turned to find her favorite guy sleeping soundly next to her. Thank goodness she didn't wake him; she sure as hell didn't want to explain this dream to him.

"Mmmm. What are you doing awake, baby?" he asked as he pulled her closely into him. She smiled as she felt him nuzzle his scruffy chin into her neck.

"It's nothing, Julian. Go back to sleep," Peyton whispered as she kissed - - - - -

- - - - - A half naked Lucas awoke with a start. Shit. He did not just dream about Julian and Peyton. What the hell was wrong with his subconscious? He attempted to shake that disturbing image out of his head. Damn; if that didn't wake him up, he didn't know what else would.

"Bad dream?" a familiar voice echoed from the other side of his bed. The two shirtless figures turned to face each other. Julian and Lucas' eyes bulged out of their sockets. Holy shit.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" both yelled so loud, their screams threatened to wake the rest of the block.

- - - - - "Ahhh!" a half naked Brooke screamed awake. "Oh. My. God. What the fuck was that?" she thought as she ran her perfectly manicured fingertips through her shiny auburn locks. But her hand froze by her neck. She felt two bodies lying beside her – she was too afraid to look at who it was. If it was both Lucas and Julian, she was going to have a heart attack – no, first she was going to kick their asses and then have a heart attack.

"Jeez, Brooke, what the hell?" Haley's voice called out from her left. Brooke and Haley looked inquisitively at each other. Both noticed that they were both merely wearing black lacey bras and their old cheer skirts.

"Brooke, next time scream into Haley's ear, not mine," Peyton groaned as she sat up on her side of the bed. The three former cheerleaders' eyebrows all kinked up at the same time.

"Ok, what the hell are you two doing in my bed?" Brooke asked with a pointed finger, "Wait a minute – this isn't my bed."

"What the – whose dream is - " Haley stopped mid sentence as all three girls noticed a half naked, devilishly smiling Chris Keller leaning against the door frame.

"KELLER!!" all three girls screamed at once as they simultaneously flung pillows in his direction - - - - -

Julian's POV; his hotel

"Keller!" I scream for a third time. Damn guy has a huge ass smirk on his face but is still not getting up. I shudder to think what kind of kinky ass dream can make him this happy and this unresponsive to constant screaming. I had enough; I grab a pillow and chuck it at him. I watch as he doesn't flinch. Are you kidding me? Hmmm, maybe I should have chucked my shoe. I grab a bigger pillow and toss it harder, straight for his face.

"Ow. Dude, I was having the best dream," Chris moans from underneath the pillow.

"I'm sure you were," I answer him as I slip on my black converses, "Listen, Sam wants to hang out later." As I tie my laces, from the corner of my eye I notice Chris look at me, then to the clock, then back at me.

"She doesn't get out of school for three hours; what the hell did you wake me up for?" Chris groans as he collapses back onto the couch. I shake my head, only rock stars fail to get up before noon. And Chris is the only sober rock star who fails to get up before noon. Even though I'm not a morning person, I never understood how Chris can sleep for ten hours straight.

"Sienna called. She wants to talk to you," I tell him as I gather Lucas' screenplay and some other miscellaneous papers into my messenger bag. Even though production has supposedly stopped, it doesn't mean that I have to stop working.

"I don't want to talk to her," Chris whines as he forces himself up and heads towards the bathroom. I roll my eyes at his immaturity.

It had been nearly eight months since Sienna decided to break up their 20 month relationship, and Chris still wasn't budging on his "I'll never talk to her again" pouting. The two didn't move in together or get engaged, but it was still a serious relationship. Considering his past history and strings of ONS's, this relationship with Sienna was a first for Chris; hence his acting out. I understand where Chris was coming from, but it is time he grew up about it.

True, exes are sometimes a bad thing – but a twenty six year old shouldn't act like a six year old when it came to talking to an ex. Besides, all Sienna wants to do is see if a friendship with Chris is possible, especially since they share two close, mutual friends. Although…it's not like a certain curly blonde has been talking much to Sienna or Chris in the past few months.

"You don't think that Peyt thinks that I'm a bitch, do you?" Sienna's concern from seven months ago echoes in my mind. "Well, you're still friends with the asshole who walked out on her…you tell me," I responded. Yeah, I was a bit bitter back then.

"I don't care. You're talking to her," I raise my voice so Chris can hear me from the bathroom. Knowing Sienna, she will probably send him a thousand text messages just to annoy the shit out of him, and then he'd finally call her to get her to stop.

"Where are you going?" Chris asks me as he exits the bathroom. If I was a girl, my knees would probably shake at the sight of his toned, body. But as a guy, I immediately grimaced and threw some random clothes towards him. Getting the hint, he slips on some jeans.

"I have a meeting," I inform Chris as I grab my jacket. "And then, me, you, Sam, at Java – the new coffee place - at 2:30. Be there," I basically command him. Depending on the day, you can't ask Chris to do something; you have to give him an order, or else he'll think he can do whatever the hell he pleases. I fish around my pockets and throw him a shiny new set of keys to a silver Lexus.

"Keys?" he jingles them in front of his face as if it is a new toy.

"You lose those and you pay the studio 10,500," I tell him as I take one final look in the mirror before heading out.

"10.5 K to replace a set of keys?" Chris asks in disbelief.

"Five for the keys. Ten thousand to bail me out of jail after I physically assault you for acting stupid, aka I'll kill you if you lose those," I threaten him; there is no way he is going to be stupid and lose another set of car keys.

"That's reasonable," he mumbles as he throws the keys onto the coffee table.

"I thought so," I agree as I check my pockets one last time, making sure I have my wallet, hotel key, and new set of car keys to my Mercedes. No way am I letting Chris behind that wheel again.

"And dude, call Sienna," I yell before I close the door behind me. All I want for my friends is what is best for them. Even though Peyton and I can't be friends; I hope Sienna and Chris can be.

And it isn't just because I hate being pulled in two different directions.

If Sienna were any other girl, I would pull a Chris and not talk to her either - the whole bros over hoes thing. But Sienna isn't just any other girl – she is one of my oldest friends. Sort of like how Nathan Scott and Brooke Davis are friends – close friends, not necessarily the go to best friend type, but close friends nonetheless.

Two people who bonded over similar pasts, similar fears, similar mistakes, and similar needs - needs for a kindred spirit, another person to understand their fucked up brain.

Boy is my brain effed up. It had to be if I am actually looking forward to dropping by Brooke's today.

And my brain really has to be fucked up if I had a dream about her.

And not one of those sexual fantasy type dreams…a "What would it be like to be the recipient of her affections?" dream. I blame it on yesterday's breakfast and that damn waitress who put the damn idea of us being together in my head.

But, then my dream last night turned into a nightmare when Lucas suddenly popped up into it and gave a condescending speech about how he had Brooke first. But Lucas is an idiot. Sure he had Brooke; but, from my point of view, he never really had her. If he did…if he was "in love" with her…God, he had so many opportunities to prove it and he never did. Ok, so there were two speeches – but those were words. Brooke didn't need words, she needed actions. Even though I wasn't there, the book alone inadvertently proved how much of an ass he was to Brooke.

But, Lucas isn't here now. For the next week and a half, it's going to be me, Brooke, and Sam. I still don't know what I want to happen with all of that. Especially since this nice guy – become friends with a teenager and then maybe her mother - thing is new to me. Thank goodness I have Sam for a buffer. I guess Brooke is really thankful she has Sam for a buffer.

However the next couple weeks go – it can't be worse than my stupid nightmare.

Brooke's POV; the boutique

The beats of classic 80s music combining with the resonance of my pencils brushing against my sketchpad always bring me to a state of serene content. I haven't felt this confidant or "cheery" about my work and designs since sophomore year of college, before Victoria decided to convert my labor of love into an over commercialized, corporate brand. I don't know what to attribute my sudden impulse of creativity to, but I like it. Churning out design after design, I suddenly stop. I need to slow down and take a breather before my creativity bulb burns out from an accidental overload.

"Hello? I'd like a one of a kind Davis original to go, please," I hear a woman request from the door of my boutique. My churning and burning went on pause at the sight of my favorite married couple walking through the door – Nathan and Haley Scott.

Hmmm…I guess Peyton and Lucas need to be somewhere on my married couple list now. I'll put them after Posh and Becks for now…it's only been a day and they haven't proven anything yet. But enough about other couples…

"Well, if it isn't my favorite lunch combo!" I yell out with an excited grin from behind my sketching station. "Haven't you two gotten sick of me already?" I ask as I greet them both with tight, sincere hugs.

For the past couple weeks, lunch had become the highlight of my day. In an effort to help out with the wedding, Haley and Nathan would stop by the boutique during their lunch break with all intent on working on wedding projects. But, the goofy friends that we are, something always distracted us from the Leyton wedding "To Do" list. I couldn't believe that in our six years of friendship, I hadn't hung out with both Haley and Nathan as often as I did these past few weeks.

Now that the nuptials were over, I questioned whether or not the lovely Naley would still stop by. Especially since Nathan was going professional, and Haley was going to start recording again. But lo and behold, my question has been answered.

"Not as sick as we would be eating the cafeteria food," Nathan quips as Haley rolls her eyes at the somewhat clichéd and lame joke. Aww Nathan, you sure have gotten cheesy since Jamie has been stealing all your good jokes.

"So, girly, how has the designing been going?" Haley asks as she eyes the plethora of sketches taped to the walls and spread haphazardly on my desk. "Actually, I take that back," she voices as she picks up my latest concoction, "These are amazing, Brooke."

"Thank you, teacher mom. I'm pretty surprised by them, myself," I reply. "But we can talk about my brilliant designs later; tell me you brought something meaty."

The three of us take a seat on our usual spot on my hardwood floors and chow down on sandwiches from our new favorite café. Sometimes I wish I could convert my boutique back into what it once was, but then I remember how much I hated the food industry back in high school. Just thinking of that hideous crab costume still gives me the heebie jeebies. As I take another whopping bite into my chicken Florentine sandwich, my eyes notice two more pairs staring at me with roguish sparks.

"Ok," I gulped down my food, "Why are you two staring at me with loopy ass grins? I don't have sauce on my face, do I?" I ask as my fingertips feel around my face for anything that shouldn't be there.

They're eyes are bursting with curiosity about something; I just don't know what. Haley looks toward Nathan, as if to telepathically tell him that he should do the explaining. Even though I couldn't hear their thoughts, I could read their faces. And something was amusing them.

"We were just wondering," Nathan pauses, looks me square in the eye, and a playful tone exudes from his voice, "how your little family outing went yesterday." I hear Haley whisper Nathan's name, as if to scold him on his use of words. Family outing? What the hell were they – oh crap.

"Ugh, you saw that?" I whine as I fall flat on my back and close my eyes in embarrassment. I can't believe I have witnesses to that craziness of a morning, laughing witnesses at that. Then again, they were probably laughing at the fact that I was lying down on the floor of my boutique with a half eaten sandwich still in my hand.

"Jamie pointed you out on their father-son morning jog," Haley revealed as she and Nathan pulled me up into a proper sitting position. "By the way, thank you for letting him think that Chris Keller is awesome," her sarcasm is unfaltering.

I merely give her a "What are you talking about?" kinked eyebrow.

"Aunt Brooke and Sam are awesome, so Chris and Julian must be pretty cool, too," she quotes her adorable five year old son.

"I'll be sure to correct him the next time I see him," I mumble with another bite of my sandwich. Only Jamie would be able to see the coolness factor in Chris Keller and Julian Baker. "And why would you call it a family outing? It was barely an outing," I comment.

"You know," Nathan gulps down his food, "You're the mom, Sam's the kid, Julian's…actually…I don't know where Julian would fit in." I'm guessing Nathan was going to say dad or step dad, but decided he didn't want to receive a punch from my knuckles. Good choice.

"I know where Chris would fit in," I add to the metaphor, "the golden retriever, Old Keller." The three of us share a chuckle at the whole thing, but Haley, being Haley, decides to turn the conversation serious.

"So, all joking aside, does this mean you trust Julian now?" Haley asks me, "Because, last I recall, you originally didn't want to do this movie because you didn't trust him. And now it looks like you're discussing costumes over pancakes and coffee,"

"It was more like waffles and OJ," Nathan corrects Haley. The both of us just stare at Nathan. "What?" he asks innocently as we simultaneously shake our heads.

"The trusting issue is still on the fence," I answer, "Sam thinks it would be really cool if I did this. She pointed out that if I didn't want to wear a lame knockoff when I was in high school, I sure as hell shouldn't let some lame knockoff be the designer for movie-Brooke in movie high school," I reason. "Besides, Julian is only one of my bosses."

"So you're doing the movie for Lucas?" Haley asks me with dead seriousness in her eyes. I could see where she would get that idea. And even though she's usually right, this time, I'm pretty sure she's wrong.

"I don't do anything for Lucas anymore. I'm doing this for Sam and for myself," I reply, "I want to make movie-me the hottest and most fashionable movie cheerleader circa 2005. Plus, I know it's a long shot with all the epic movies coming out later, but how cool would it be if I won a shiny, little, gold male statue, minus genitalia, just to dress movie-us?" I squealed, hoping Nathan and Haley would share at least one crumb of my enthusiasm. But I guess they didn't buy my excitement; I might have over done it a bit with the mention of genitalia.

"Are you sure it's not for Lucas?" Nathan asks me after he and Haley share a 'Is she really ok?' look. Wow, I'm getting pretty good at reading their couple-hood expressions. And they're getting pretty good at spotting my fake cheerleader smile.

"Yes. Why do you keep asking that?" I respond. Man, when is anybody going to get that Lucas is NOT the center of my life; he hasn't been for five freaking years.

"Because we never talked about how you feel about Lucas and Peyton getting married," Haley answered my question. Oh. That's what they're talking about.

"Yeah we did," I try to evade the topic. It's over with; didn't my failure to object during the ceremony prove that I was not hurt by their matrimonial union?

"No; you always changed the topic or made us make more wedding party favors," Nathan pointed out and unconsciously rubbed his hands. Yeah, maybe I did go overboard with all the ribbon tying and decoupage-ing.

"It's over. They're married. There's nothing to talk about," I insist as I fiddle around with my fries. I scrolled a tiny smiley face in my pile of ketchup as Nathan and Haley sighed at my insensitive response.

"Brooke," Haley starts, but I quickly interrupt her.

"There's nothing to talk about, Haley. I'm happy that they're happy. That's all that matters," I persisted. How could I prove to them that I was alright – or at least semi alright? But I guess I can't; they know me too well to know that something is still eating away at me inside.

"No," Nathan counters with a firm voice, "What matters is that you're happy for the right reasons." Wow, when did Nathan get all sensitive and smart?

"It's ok to feel upset about it, Brooke," Haley attempts to sooth me.

"Can we drop it? You guys are starting to sound like Oprah and Dr. Phil," I try to joke my way out of it. But their faces didn't so much as flinch. I sigh, realizing I have no other choice than to open up. And if I am going to open up to anybody, it would be them. I don't want to talk about this with Peyton or Lucas …there was a time when I wanted to, but things have changed.

"The movie is a good opportunity and it keeps my mind off of certain things…I guess one of those things are Lucas and Peyton. Seeing Lucas and Peyton together – it just reminds me of something I can't have…at least, not yet. Every time I think I'm ready to get close to a guy – like Owen – I just close myself off and push away," I reveal with a quiet voice. Their silence tells me that they're analyzing my explanation.

"Is this…" Haley starts out cautiously. "Is this about the attack?" she asks me in a concerned tone. I don't look up to face them. The corners of my eyes catch Nathan shifting his position so that he is now on my right side and Haley on my left.

"Partly," I answer timidly. Both Haley and Nathan had heard about my attack from Peyton, with my permission of course. We had never really discussed it…till now. "Yeah, the attack messed me up physically and emotionally. Mostly, it's harder for me to trust guys…trust that they won't hurt me…"

"The question is, Brooke. Why are you so insistent on going through life alone?" my therapist's voice rings again in my ears. I've thought a lot about this question since then. And even though I have Sam now, the question still applies.

"But I think the closing up issues started out before the attack." I divulge before they get a chance to ask me another question. It was true; for some reason I hadn't been close to a guy since Chase – and even that didn't last longer than several months.

"The attack sort of worsened the closing up/trusting thing. But, I am starting to get back to at least how I was before it happened. I'm getting better. It's just taking longer than I anticipated," my raspy voice is filled with resolve I didn't know I had. I was getting my courage back – partly because of Sam and partly because of Naley.

God this is weird. I don't remember the last time I opened up like this to Nathan. Haley, yes…Nathan – even though we were good friends, he isn't my reveal everything and anything to friend. But maybe, this will help me get better faster.

"Brooke, you know you have us. No matter what," Haley wraps her arm around my shoulders in her compassionate, best friend way. I know, buddy.

"I know," I answer with a meek smile as I lean my head on her shoulder. I feel Nathan grab and squeeze my hand. He was here for me too. And my heart swells as my eyes release a few tears I didn't know they were holding. After a few minutes of silence, I wipe my eyes and ask the couple to say something because the silence is irking me.

"You said Lucas and Peyton remind you of love you can't have. Do you feel that way around us?" Nathan asks. Crap, they must think they hurt me everyday.

"No," I respond honestly; if anything, it's completely the opposite – Naley gives me hope.

"Why?" Nathan's question takes me aback. It was a valid question that I never thought about until now.

"I don't know," I reply with a strained brow. I was trying to figure it out, but I honestly didn't know.

"Maybe it's because you're always saving them," Haley voices her opinion. Leave it to the English teacher to be able to analyze and figure it all out. But, I have no idea what she is talking about. How the hell have I saved them? If anything, wasn't Lucas doing all the saving?

"What?" I ask her as Nathan's eyes ask the same thing.

"When Peyton's mom died, you were there. Lucas losing Keith, Peyton and Ellie, Lucas' heart attack…Psycho Derek – you saved Peyton. And then when Peyton didn't say yes the first time, you were there for Luke," Haley counts on her fingers a number of examples of some of the worst times in Lucas and Peyton's lives. There was a whole lot of other stuff she left out, but those were the major ones.

"So?" I ask. Ok, so I saved them – I thought it was just helping them. And even then, what did that have to do with feeling closed off or their marriage reminding me of something I can't have yet?

"Brooke. You were always saving them because you were waiting for them to save you," Haley replies with a sort of 'Don't you see?' revelation type tone in her voice. "And when the time came for you to be saved, you didn't let them because you didn't want to ruin their happiness," she reminds me of my initial reasoning for why I felt I couldn't tell anybody about my attack.

"I still don't see what you're getting at," I say.

"They remind you of love you think you can't have because…You're still waiting to be saved," Haley reveals. Nathan and I are completely silent now. Whoa. What was I paying my therapist for when I had Haley all along? My heart aches at the revelation – Do I still want to be saved? I know I voiced that to Lucas back in junior year of high school…Have I still wanted that all these years?

"And Peyton called me a martyr," Nathan mumbles under his breath.

"What you have to figure out is if you still want them to save you…or if you're willing to let somebody else have that job. And then maybe you'll finally find love," Haley finishes, or at least I think she's done with her amazing best friend analyzing. Before I get a chance to contemplate on what she just told me, I hear the door open behind us.

"Davis, I'm baaack," someone chimes from the entrance.

"Julian?" I recognize the voice as the three of us immediately stand to face him. I'm guessing my makeup is smeared and wiped clean from my face from the crying because Julian's amused expression turns to one of inquisitiveness.

"Talk about awkward," Julian breaks our stunned silence. "I hate to ruin heart to hearts…well, I don't really hate it; it's sometimes entertaining…but, uh, Sam called me and you weren't picking up your phone, so - "

"Is she ok?" I interrupt him, my heart beating a thousand times a minute at the thought of something being wrong.

"I don't know; I'm just playing messenger," he shrugs with indifference – typical Julian Baker behavior.

"Are you kidding me?" I yell at him as I go in search of my phone. I check under sketches, binders, in my purse – where the hell was it? And why the hell wouldn't he know if she was ok?

"No," Julian answers, "Besides, I wouldn't have relayed the message if I didn't have to come and ask you to bring your designs over to the production offices tomorrow."

"You're a gentleman aren't you?" I sarcastically comment with disdain.

"No, I'm Julian Baker," he smirks.

And to think I enjoyed breakfast yesterday.

"And you two are Haley and Nathan," he holds out his hand towards Nathan for a handshake, but neither Nathan nor Haley return the gesture. "Sorry we've never been formally introduced. Lucas didn't want me near his family," Julian quips as he slaps Nathan's forearm.

"I wonder why," Haley's sarcasm meets Julian's wit.

"You know, I asked him the same thing," Julian laughs at the so called coincidence.

I gave up my cell phone search and asked Haley to borrow hers.

"She's not in trouble. She just wants to know if she can kick it with Keller after school before he jets tomorrow morning," Julian tells me just as I hear Sam's voice telling me to leave a message.

I return Haley's cell but my glaring eyes never leave Julian's smirked up face. Of all the nerve -

"Brooke, we're gonna - " Haley starts, noticing the tension that is building up between me and Julian. Hard to believe I was opening my heart up just ten minutes ago.

"No, stay. This won't take long," I insist, with crossed arms. I couldn't let my two close friends leave on account of Julian Baker.

"You said you didn't know how she was," I snap at Julian as I inch towards him.

"I don't know. She could be pissed off because of some bad grade or she could be ecstatic because a boy kissed her, but I don't know," he claims, "She just asked me to ask you if she could - "

"Hang with Keller; I got it," I finish for him. "You really know how to push people's buttons, you know that?"

"Lucas calls me a dick everyday. You can follow suit if you want." I can't believe it; he's egging me on.

"Well as long as he knows what he's gotten himself into," I snap.

"And you don't?" he wiggles his brows and his grin grows wider.

"Brooke, I think - " Haley shuts up when I hook my arm tightly into hers, signifying that she couldn't leave me alone with him or else I might be guilty of murder in two hours.

"You passed me the message; you can go now," I smile, hoping Baker would get the hint.

"Are you guys having lunch? Because I am starving," he eyes our unfinished meal like a hungry fox eyes a poor, defenseless bunny.

"That is not for you," I block his path towards the food, physically stopping him in his tracks. He is not going to ruin my highlight of the day – well one of my highlights.

"Actually, you can have the rest of mine. We have to go any - " Nathan pipes up this time.

"No! You two are staying here," I yell.

"I have class, Brooke," Haley points up to the clock – 12:52. Shit.

"Nathan doesn't – at least not till 2:30, right Nate?" I found my loophole, a chance to kick Baker out so I don't have to deal with him for the second day in a row. Well, it is more like I am afraid of having fun with him for the second day in a row.

"Uh, well - " Nathan mumbles.

"See? Table for two, that's all this is enough for," I smile as I link my arm into Nathan's this time. "So you can go now," I motion towards the door with my other arm.

"If that's the case, then I'll be happy to accompany Haley back to famous Tree Hill High since 'Nate' is staying here with you," Julian slides closer to Haley now, but not so close that Nathan would clobber him. Julian knows better than that. "And while I'm there, I can tell Sam that you said she could hang out with me and Keller later…it is ok, right?"

"Oh, it is far from ok. You think I'm going to let her go god knows where with you two as adult supervision?" I scoff at the thought of it. I knew better than to leave any teen alone with Chris Keller – I had learned that lesson a long time ago.

"Ok," Haley slips in some distance between us. "How about you two wait outside while we clean all this up. Then we can all go to the high school together," she reasons in her motherly, compromising tone.

No, no, no. What is she doing? Why am I tagging along? I have work to do. Why did she suggest Julian tag along? Doesn't she get from the whole bantering thing that I want him out? Nathan seems to be thinking the same thing because his eyes shot up at the prospect of him and Julian waiting outside by themselves.

"Us two?" Nathan points between himself and Julian.

"Yeah, you two. Go," Haley's voice is commanding as her eyes motion Nathan towards the door. Nathan sighs, I scoff, Julian chuckles, and Haley merely ignores all three of our reactions. To her, we are probably acting like the fifteen year old students from different cliques that are forced to work on a project together.

"So, uh, Baker, is it?" Nathan attempts some small talk as Haley and I watch the two tall men walk out the door.

Haley grabs a trash bag from behind the counter and we begin throwing away whatever is on the floor. Oh man, there go my fries and the other half of my sandwich. That was a good sandwich.

"What are you doing?" I ask Haley as soon as I see the door close behind the boys. Man, I wonder what they could be talking about.

"Saving you," Haley tells me before she takes one last sip of her green tea and throwing it in the bag.

"I did not need saving," I insist, grabbing the last of the trash.

"I told you we'd be here for you whenever you need it. You need it this time, Brooke," Haley insists. Ok, I had to give her points for that; she is right this time.

"Fine, but I'm taking my own car. There is no way I'm going to share a ride with him on the way back," I insist. "What do you think they're talking about?"

"Nathan can hold his own; just make sure you hold yours," Haley tells me as we gather up all our things, my sketchbook included.

"Do you think he'll punch Julian if I asked him too?" I ask Haley before we open the door. We watch as Nathan ingests whatever Julian is saying. I can't decipher Nathan's expression. Either he thinks Julian is another Chris Keller or he is falling for whatever charm is thrown at him. Oh no; does Julian like basketball?

"If Julian plays his cards wrong, you might not need to ask him," Haley shakes me out of my thoughts. Well, Haley can read her husband better than I can. So I guess…so far, Nathan is falling for the charm…I just have to wait for Julian to make one tiny misstep to have Nathan on my side.

Even though I don't hate Julian as much as I initially did a few weeks ago, I don't want to like him either. Things would get way too complicated if I start to like Producer Boy's ass. Especially when Luke and Peyton get back. Complication - that's what I am afraid is going to happen if I hang out with him long enough – that I would like him and would want to hang out with him and…be his friend.

Am I ready for all of that? Friendship with another guy? I try to convince myself that the friends I have now is enough. Peyton, Lucas, Nathan, Haley, Mouth, Milli…even Skills and Jamie – they are enough. Sam is enough. So why am I starting to enjoy spending time with Julian – why am I not kicking him out or walking away from him whenever he comes near? Am I ready to open myself up to new friendships?

No. This is Peyton's ex. I'm not supposed to trust the guy. He walked out on her and left her alone without so much as any look back. No follow up phone call, no email, not one single 'I'm sorry it had to end this way' type of thing. But…ugh…I don't know the whole story – only Peyton's side.

I shake my head; this is getting way too complicated for a Monday afternoon.

What is wrong with me?

"Why are you so insistent on going through life alone?"

No. I have Sam. I have Nathan and Haley. They're my saviors for now...I'm my own savior. I don't need anyone else.

Stop thinking Brooke; stop thinking. Just see where all of this goes.

A/N: And there it is - Chris and Sienna were together, Julian does have a past, and Brooke is finally opening up to Naley (something I wish she would do on the show).

And that's also my interpretation so far about Brooke. As for the attack stuff, it's not resolved yet. There's more Brooke has to go sort out than what she did in this chapter, but you guys will have to keep reading to find out. And later on...like a few chapters from now, I'm going to approach what happened in 6.12. So, be ready. I know I originally was going to have this as a comedy...and it still will be, sort of. But I feel like in order for everything to work out the way I would like it to, I have to approach the dramatic stuff too.

So tell me what you think about all of it . I'm going to try to give you guys a quick update like I did last week. Ciao for now! :)