Where Are You Love?

Why can't I find you?

By: SamiJane

Disclaimer: See profile

Reminder: Since episodes have picked back up, just remember to disregard anything after episode 610. And I mean anything and everything after 610.

A/N: Thank you so much for all the awesome reviews! You guys are the best! (Shout outs at end)

I was going to add half of this chappie to ch11, but it works better this way. Plus, I wanted to end and start the New Year with Chris Keller scenes. (I heart him too much. lol) Speaking of Chris, I made up a "middle name" for him b/c I needed one. And I use the term "middle name" loosely. I think it's kinda funny, actually.

This is more of a fun chapter since I'm trying to even out the drama and comedy (drama is returning soon), but even though its fun and games, it doesn't mean important stuff isn't included.

So, my dear readers, grab a yummy beverage, maybe some waffles, and read on! On with chapter 12!

Chapter 12: The Morning After Glow

Haley's POV; Naley kitchen

He unplugged the phones. I can't believe Chris unplugged all the damn phones and even stole the cell phone batteries. I can't believe we didn't notice. I can't believe he's still here. Doesn't he have musician responsibilities to tend to back in LA? Damn it. I can't believe I sat around like an idiot all morning, waiting for the phone to ring, and…argh. There is no way he is getting away without some sort of punishment. And there is no way Keller can out run me.

Nathan's POV; Naley kitchen

Well, this is definitely a stray from the norm of our usual mornings. Haley glaring down a nervous Chris Keller from opposite sides of our kitchen table. The last time I saw a scene like this was three years ago, when Haley was trying to get two and a half year old Jamie to take a bath. Both stood at opposite ends of the table, just like Chris and Haley are now, one trying to run away, the other trying to catch them. And just like three years ago, I'm pretty sure Haley will win. Actually, I'm betting that Keller trips on his bare feet.

"Before I catch you and 'accidentally' throw you out the window, explain to me why…well, why you're you," Haley's voice grumbles as the two slowly circle the table. I know it's not right, but I'm finding the whole "unplugging the phones" thing pretty amusing, mainly because what else would you expect if Chris Keller stayed over your house?

The scene in front of me and Sam is pretty amusing as well. Haley's probably pissed that the two of us are just standing here, doing nothing; but, this scene is priceless. And I know Haley's not really going to kill Chris. If Jamie wasn't around, then maybe she'd hurt him; but, our five year old menace is upstairs. No need to worry about injury…for now.

"It's kind of a long –" Chris begins as he attempts to edge his way closer to me and Sam.

"Chris Topher Keller -" Haley interrupts him, in her angry mother tone. And before I know it, Haley and Chris run a couple circles around the table, Haley stops in front of my body, and Chris cowers behind Sam. Too bad the teen is over a foot shorter than him.

Whoa, when did Haley pick up a fork? Chris asks her to lower the silver utensil. But, she merely shakes her head and wields the thing in the air, like a villain from a Hitchcock movie would. I probably should have warned Keller that lack of sleep and loads of stress can make Haley a little cranky…just a little.

I tell my wife to take a breath and relax or else she's going to injure Jamie's new, musical friend. And I also point out that after last night's explanation to Jamie, about Lucas' punching outburst, poking Keller repeatedly with a fork could be deemed as hypocrisy. Haley says she wasn't going to do anything; she only wanted to scare him. She relinquishes the fork onto the counter top.

Chris wisely waits a couple of seconds, to make sure he's safe, before he begins explaining his not so adult actions. After an unnecessarily lengthy explanation of how he got the idea in the first place, something about reality television, Chris finally reveals his motives. He believed Lucas and Peyton had to talk about things amongst themselves first, and come up with answers on their own, before having a chance to talk to us for our opinions on everything. He has a point. "Think about it, Lucas," seems to ring a clear bell.

"Ok, two things," two of Haley's aggravated fingers make a peace sign, "First of all, you have no say over who gets to talk to us. And second of all –"

"Did Brooke call you?" I whisper over to Sam, when I realize she's been texting. I guess Chris obviously didn't think about messing with her phone. Sam shakes her head; I tilt mine in confusion – why wouldn't Brooke call Sam by now? I turn my head when Haley clears her throat. Her face looks as confused as mine since I basically interrupted her lecture; something I know not to do.

I shrug my shoulders, and voice my thoughts over Chris' recent actions. "Sorry, Hales. But I'm kind of glad he unplugged everything. Granted, we still only got, like, two hours of sleep. But, at least it was two hours more than we would've gotten otherwise. And Lucas really needs to figure out some of this stuff on his own." I reiterate what Chris said. Besides, there are bigger things to worry about than Chris' immaturity.

"I agree about Lucas, but that's not the point I'm trying to make right now," she attempts to keep a calm demeanor. So that Haley doesn't think I don't support her, I apologize once more to her and I warn Chris to stop acting stupid and messing with property in our home, or else I will allow Haley to "accidentally" throw him through a closed window.

"Ok, I got it. I'm sorry. No more sabotaging in Casa de Naley," Chris replies in defeat. "But, if I had told you before I did anything, would you have let me? Or, would you have restrained yourself from plugging them back in?" he asks, making another good point. Haley and I give each other raised eyebrows. That's the only answer Chris needs to know that he's semi right – if we had known anything, the phones would have stayed plugged in all night and morning.

Without hesitation, Chris goes on rambling more about how he thought of the idea when Brooke and Julian's names pique mine and Haley's interest. Sam seems to stop her texting at this point as well.

"…The other thing was that I wanted to experiment: if Brooke couldn't talk to you guys, would she call Julian? Cause, you know, she and Julian 'mildly detest' each other, or what not…" Chris pauses for a few seconds, thinking something over, "Oh crap, I forgot she has other friends besides you guys. So, I guess it would have been a bust anyways…"

"Anyways," Chris continues, disregarding his mini revelation, "it turns out those two didn't need my help in the phone department because a few minutes ago, Julian told me that Brooke called him first thing this morning." He sounds almost like Brooke when she talks about local gossip. Scary. "They'll be here in fifteen minutes. I hope they bring donuts," Chris finishes.

"She called him?" Haley asks the question that's on mine and Sam's shocked minds.

"I know, right?" Chris responds as he decides to peruse the pantry once more, looking for donuts I'm guessing. Wasn't he full from the four waffles he had earlier?

"It's spooky," Chris continues, "like we're in an alternate universe, like that zone place."

"Twilight Zone," I state more so than ask.

But either he isn't listening to me, or he…well, isn't listening, because he doesn't acknowledge the correctness of my answer. "I can't remember what it's called…it's on the tip of my tongue," he mumbles as his face goes into serious thinking mode. Haley and I roll our eyes.

"What else did Julian say?" Sam asks.

I, on the other hand, want to know why Brooke wanted to talk to Julian. Up until recently, all Haley and I ever saw was their ability to banter and fight about the most random things. And now, well, it seems like that's changing. I wonder what brought on the change in both of them. I mean, first with Julian during the whole argument thing, helping Brooke out, and then Brooke calling him this morning…

"Uh…Brooke wants you to make sure that Lucas leaves before her and Julian get here," Chris informs us. When did Lucas come into this?

"Huh," Chris thinks aloud and digresses on, "I guess Brooke assumed your inability to answer her phone calls is because Lucas is here crying his heart out…But he's not here, because of my phone sabotaging, so actually…you two don't have to stress out about kicking Lucas out before the Banter Buddies get here. And that means less for you two to worry about today! Chris Keller is awesome."

The three of us stare at Chris with kinked, disbelieving eyebrows, something our faces are used to by now. He thinks he did us a favor? He can't be serious. But his twinkling eyes and mischievous, self appreciating grin say otherwise. "Feel free to thank Chris Keller," he voices.

With a roll of our eyes, Haley and I thank him with a "Thanks, Keller," and take turns mussing up his hair like he's a five year old kid.

"Hey, not the hair," Chris fixes the stray strands as Haley and I exit the kitchen. There's only so much Chris Keller we can take in one morning.

"I got it, it's the 'Twilight Zone'! We're in the 'Twilight Zone,'" I hear Chris shout after us.

Oh god. If the "Banter Buddies" don't get here soon, this is going to be a long ass morning. I don't even want to think about having to talk to Lucas and Peyton later today about Jamie. Haley seems to feel the same way I do; she doesn't even bother to place the battery back in her cell phone. I guess now would be a good time to catch a ten minute nap. Chris better not act stupid and damage anything.

Brooke's POV

I pull up my car to Julian's hotel for the second time in the past eight hours, and I text the guy one simple word: Here. After a couple seconds, I send a second message. Stop looking in the mirror shackled slave.

Within moments, my I-phone visually announces that I have a new text message from "Producer boy." Yes, that is what he's listed under in my address book. I still haven't changed it from when I first agreed to work for him a couple months ago.

I grin at his response. "Stop spying on me dirty babe."

After a diverting conversation about life soundtracks, wardrobe ideas for when we go to the Academy Awards for Ravens, and the best snacks to have when you get the munchies, Julian convinced me that it would be more eco friendly if we use one car to pick up Chris and Sam instead of two. Maybe I shouldn't have scolded him for not recycling his soda can the other day.

I still can't believe that same Julian is the one that gave me the courage to turn around and face the inevitable. God, I need to stop thinking about last night. It's done; it's over. All I'm supposed to worry about now is picking up my kid and going grocery shopping…again. I really have to stop Chris from coming over the house.

I turn on the stereo and randomly pick a track to play. Nada Surf's "Your Legs Grow", melodically resounds from the car's speakers. I turn the volume up, my ears absorb the harmonies and I lean my head back onto the chair's head rest. Talk about a good song to relax to. And talk about a good song in general. The lyrics alone sound simple, but the underlying message is what transforms the song from mediocre to almost great.

Yeah, my preferences sure have evolved since my Billboard Top 40, teenager days. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy bobbing my head to the occasional Beyonce or Britney tune. But, my tastes, like myself, have changed a little bit. I guess life tends to add the rock music to the pop collection you already own.

Nada Surf's melodies relax me so much that when Julian knocks loudly on the passenger side window, I jump out of my seat and hit my head on something hard. Ow. I unlock the doors and Julian slides right in, while I massage the tiny bump that is forming on the top of my head. Now we both have injuries.

Damn it, he's laughing at me.

After I give him a couple playful slaps on the forearm, Julian stops laughing, and I decide to talk seriously about the conversation between me, Lucas, and Peyton last night. Penny D and Jack had their first and second serious conversations in this same car yesterday; I might as well make it a tradition. So, getting right to the point, I ask him what he thinks about everything I said to the 'broody blonde' couple. I can tell he's about to joke or say something funny, but my eyes don't relay the same playfulness.

He sighs and carefully chooses his words. "The friendship break threw me for a loop, but if that's what you need…than that's what you need. You did the right thing."

I nod my head. This cannot be the same Julian that landed in Tree Hill ten weeks ago.

Julian glances at me and reverts the question back. What do I think about all of it? I shrug and tell him that I don't regret anything, but guilt has been knocking on the door. He nods in response as well. We talk about guilt and how it's normal and ok; but, it doesn't mean I have to take anything back. That leads to me rambling about feeling weird because I'm literally forcing myself to stop thinking about how Peyton is or what she needs. And after a couple minutes, eventually my rambling ends, with me apologizing to Julian for dragging him into the middle of this mess in the first place.

He grins and scoffs. "You didn't drag me into anything. I wanted to be there. Besides, I was raised in a world of drama; I'm used to the intensity." Did he catch himself? He wanted to be there? Julian wanted to swim in the deep blue sea of drama with me? I hope he has a life preserver.

"Why do you think I was a guitarist in a punk rock band before I became the incredible producer I am today?" he rhetorically finishes.

He so did not realize what he just said.

And incredible producer? Please. Damn, I was getting used to the other side of Julian, I nearly forgot about his arrogance. If he thinks I'm going to agree with him there, he's got another one coming.

"To get under skirts and satin sheets?" I nonchalantly answer his rhetorical question with a dimpled smirk.

"After all the crap that went on yesterday, you still haven't changed your mind about me," he shakes his head, feigning disappointment. "I guess it's true, one conversation doesn't change anything," he quotes my comment from yesterday's car ride from the airport and gives an overdramatic sigh.

"It was one and a half," I grin and quote his words from last night. "Well, I guess now its two and a half, or three; I'm not sure," I mutter. Man, we're really starting to rack up the convos now, aren't we? And the day is still incredibly young.

"Hmmm…three is a good number; where exactly does that place us on the hatred meter?" his eyes dance at the knowledge that we're no longer at the boiling point, "Just for reference."

"We're a good distance away from the flashing red danger zone sign," I muse honestly. In just two short weeks, we've come a long way…in just twenty four hours, we've come a long ass way. And it all started with a car ride after a wedding. Ha, my car is like our mascot cheering for us on the sidelines.

"Borderline friendship?" he questions what my phrase, 'away from the red danger zone,' means.

I wonder if he knows that, for me, we are in the actual friendship zone. It's sort of hard to dislike or even mildly dislike someone once they've shown their deeper layers, especially if those layers helped support you during an emotional argument. He probably knows, right? Otherwise, why would he be sitting next to me right now? Why would he come up with the idea of a joint car ride in the first place?

Wait a minute…did he want to make sure that I'm ok?

Ok, I need to pause on that mental thought. I should just continue this bantering thing we've got going on.

I sarcastically scoff at his prospect of having a borderline friendship. At this I receive a contrived expression of shock. "Please, you still irritate me," I joke.

"Oh, believe me; I'll never stop in that department," he jests back, wiggling his brows, "That's the awesome-est part of my day."

"Nice to know you'll always be there to annoy me, Jack," I sarcastically acknowledge.

"Forever and ever, Penny D," he grins as he uses more of my words from yesterday. My face expresses annoyance, but annoyance is the farthest thing from what I'm feeling right now.

As we turn onto Naley's street, I think about the little signal we concocted. I'm not sure if the gesture was just a one time thing; we didn't really talk about that part. But, it's not like I need him to constantly protect me. I just want to know if he'll be there to…well, just be there when I ask him to. "So, I've been wondering, does our signal still work even after last night?"

"I expect it to work both ways," he answers as he types yet another text on his Blackberry. I'm guessing Blackberry-aholic isn't going into rehab anytime soon.

And he "expects it to work both ways?" Huh, I never heard that from a guy before. Usually, they act all macho, tough, and independent, like they don't need help from anyone. That's why the clichéd expression, 'Guys never ask for directions,' exists.

"Since when does a guy like you need a protector?" I ask with a doubtful expression. The guy has his verbal wit and a huge, charming ass grin, and Hollywood labels him as a conceited heartbreaker. What is his reasoning for needing a knight…or rather, a woman in shining armor?

"Guys can't be the courageous one all the time; it gets exhausting," Julian claims as I pull onto the driveway. Exhausting? That's his reason? It's not because of something 'deeper.' Or something more obvious – like any relationship, friendship or otherwise, is a 50/50 partnership.

Exhausting…Alright, I wasn't expecting that for an answer. But then again, it is Julian. I need to learn to get used to nothing happening the way I expect it to when I'm around him.

"Exhausting? That sounds like something a lazy bum would say," I retort.

"Hey, if we get exhausted, how would we be able to reciprocate the protection?" Julian defends himself after he slams the car door shut. Huh. I never thought about it that way. He, unfortunately, does have a legitimate point there. And his point indirectly alludes to the fact I was thinking of earlier - that a relationship is 50/50.

"Fine, Mr. Part Time Protector, I retract the 'lazy bum,'" I sigh. He can win this one.

"You can keep the bum. Just replace 'lazy' with 'sexy,'" he smirks when we reach the front door. I roll my eyes for the fourth or fifth time this morning.

"See how I did that? 'Sexy Back?' I took us full circle," Julian points out as he rotates his finger in a circular motion. "I'm good, right?"

I shake my head and attempt to stop the grin forming on my face. But, it's too late. "Just ring the doorbell, Baker."

Julian and I simultaneously furrow our brows when we hear loud, rapid footsteps approaching the doorway, followed by a light crash, and someone muttering "Crap." After a few seconds, Haley opens the door to her humble abode looking frazzled as ever. She is only halfway dressed; half way in the sense that she's wearing jeans with her oversized pajama top.

"Sam! Chris! You're guardians are here," Haley screams behind her. "Thank god," she mutters as she steps aside to let us in. I smile and greet her with a tight hug and an apology for leaving Chris with her. Unfortunately for Haley, any of Jamie's water guns she might have needed are still at my house.

"Looks like you enjoyed a typical morning in the life of Chris Keller," Julian comments when Haley picks up the small picture frame that somehow fell off the wall. I should give her notes on how to Chris Keller proof the house. Although, after whatever happened this morning, I doubt Haley would want Chris to sleep over her house ever again.

"How is he your best friend?" Haley asks Julian when she's satisfied that nothing else in the vicinity needs to be fixed.

"It's a temporary title to make him feel better," Julian shrugs. Temporary title my ass.

"Well, whaddya know? Brooke and Julian," Nathan greets us like we've inconvenienced him by not arriving earlier, like eight hours ago earlier. Unlike Haley, Nathan is dressed for the day. But, the faint evidence of circles under his eyes shows stress and lack of sleep. Or maybe, it's irritation and lack of sleep.

"Hi, Nate," I try to cheer him up with my old cheerleading voice and smile. Damn, what the hell did Chris do to poor Naley this morning? It's not even ten o'clock yet.

Before Nate can even reciprocate a 'Hello,' the four of us hear what sounds like a large pot or bowl crashing onto the kitchen's hardwood floors. We all concurrently wince at the piercing sound. We hear Chris say "Oops. Damn it. Uh oh. Oh crap." Chris also asks Sam to help him out, but Sam replies that she's too young to help him clean up his immature messes. I grin at her remark. That's my Samantha.

Nathan and Haley sigh and have a silent, facial expression debate about who's going to go see what went wrong this time.

"I got it," Julian offers and makes his way to the kitchen. "Keller, what the hell, man!" Julian says a little too loudly. I want to see for myself what happened, but I'm alone with Nathan and Hales. It's sort of a perfect time to talk to them about last night. Haley seems to be reading my mind, because instead of small talk, she gets right to the point.

"Should we ask a clichéd question or do you want to just dive right in?" her eyes implore and comfort at the same time.

"Might as well head straight for the deep end, Hales," I sigh with a meek, pathetic excuse of a smile. I don't know why I even try to smile at something that has no connotation of happiness whatsoever.

Nathan leads the two of us to the living room and I divulge about what had happened once Julian and I arrived at Lucas and Peyton's house. I tell them how I used the situation with Jamie, at first, to show how hurt I was with how the couple had been acting since they got together. I tell the basics of what I revealed– how I've felt about the couple and our relationship over the years. Nathan and Haley heard most of this before, so I don't have to go into detail about it. I talk briefly about Julian's part in all of it. I reiterate how angry I was. And then I spill the dramatic beans to them. I drop the bomb that I'm pulling what Peyton called a 'Rachel Green,' and taking a break from the Leyton friendship.

Julian's, Chris', and Sam's voices trail into the stillness of the room, providing the only proof that I haven't suddenly gone deaf. Nathan is the first to carve into the stunned silence. "A break, huh?"

I nod; my fingers are twisting around themselves, subconsciously prying through the few, thin layers of guilt I have left. "Yeah, I know it sounds really rash and impulsive, but – I need it, you know? And I know Luke is your family, so if you –"

"No, Brooke," Haley shakes her head. "Don't even start with that. There's a reason why we chose you as Jamie's godmother. You are family, too. You always have been. And this thing with Lucas and Peyton…" she pauses and glances at Nathan. His head motions up and down, and they do the spousal telepathic thing again. I'd be lying if I said that my heart wasn't beating fifty miles an hour, waiting for their response in all of this.

"Brooke…Nathan and I, we love you. And, we're going to support you in this. Ok?" Haley reassures me and grabs my hand. I nod and bend my lips into a subtle smile. "Lucas," she continues, "Lucas is…well, sometimes he's an ass. God knows I've known him long enough to know that he can be a selfish idiot. And I wish you weren't going through all of this, but you are. I told you this once, and I'm going to tell you again; we want to be here for you. So, don't even think that, just because it's Lucas and Peyton, don't think that we are not going to be by your side in all of this. Because, we are going to be here," Haley squeezes my hand and gives me a sympathetic smile.

"You bet your ass we are," Nathan grasps my other hand and I pull them both in for a grateful hug. My smile pushes the tears at bay and my arms find it hard to let go of the embrace. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry.

"And I guess, after everything that went on between the three of you, we probably should wait a little bit before talking to Lucas and Peyton about the whole Jamie thing," Nathan adds once we all pull away from each other.

"Yeah," Haley sincerely agrees, "Well, speaking of the little rascal, I should go wake him up." Before she heads upstairs, she squeezes my shoulder and whispers that she'll be right back.

"How is he?" I ask Nathan about our favorite five year old. I hope this thing that happened doesn't affect him negatively for any longer. Hopefully he understood what Julian, Nathan, Haley, and I tried to explain and convey to him last night.

"He seemed better after we all talked to him. Sam even cheered him up before they went to bed. Plus, it's good you're all here right now; he could use a little distraction," Nathan tells me. Even though I hear his words, a portion of my mind is gnawing on the fact that I inadvertently caused Lucas to go off on a tangent and have Jamie be a spectator to the debacle. Maybe if I never abruptly walked away from the argument, Lucas wouldn't have chased after me, and Julian wouldn't have felt obligated to stop him.

"What Jamie saw is not your fault, Brooke," Nathan breaks me out of my run on thoughts, which he also seems to be reading. How do Nathan and Haley do that? It's enough to freak a girl out.

"I wasn't thinking that," I fib, my mannerisms and wavering voice giving me away.

"Yeah, you were," he smirks, "I told you a few months ago; we've been down similar roads. I get it – what's going on in your head when something messed up happens."

I can't help but crack a tiny smile at that truth. He did say that, didn't he?

"It's not your fault, Brooke," Nathan iterates some familiar words and holds out his hand to help me up from my seat. "None of it is," his eyes tell me he's referencing something more than the so called debacle we were just discussing. He's referring to another attack, the one that literally and eternally altered my perception of life. It's not my fault…that seems to be a common message people want to get across to me.

"Julian told me that last night," I keep the topic on the present, rather than focusing on past events. The three of us have already discussed, a number of times, how I feel about the incident. I've been feeling better, not worse. So, there's no need to dive into that chlorine stinging end of the pool again…at least, for now. I'm still struggling to find the last bit of courage I need to accept what happened to me. Acceptance: the last step in any process to get over emotional events, or so my shrink says.

"Well, for a newbie around town, Mr. Big Shot Producer is right," Nathan comments as we walk and take an incredibly circuitous route towards the kitchen. For some reason, the route involves us traveling upstairs. Why is he checking every electronic device in the house?

"And I'm glad Julian was there for you when Haley and I couldn't be."

Talk about irony. Nate scours my thoughts, once again. Because…well…I'm glad too.

Julian's POV; Naley kitchen

"Hey Juze, dude, check this out," Chris gestures me over to the kitchen table. I'm hesitant at first, considering the fact that no more than ten minutes ago, I verbally berated him to clean up the slops of pancake batter, eggs, and flour carelessly spilled onto the floor. Unfortunately, Mr. Rock Star is not used to the cleaning concept, so I had to intervene and help the guy out.

A huge slew of paper towels, one new trash bag, and two hand rinses later, I return to the kitchen and notice Chris literally constructing a waffle house. Technically, it's a waffle and Lego hybrid of a house with Jamie's action figures sitting comfortably inside. I don't know where Chris found all the toys, but at least they're solid and easy to clean up. I just hope he doesn't try to feed his lopsided construction project to me or Sam. And not just because it's half constructed out of Lego blocks.

"Mini Eggos, I haven't had these in forever. Sienna and I used to consume a whole box of these in one sitting," I reminisce as I take a seat next to Chris. I nudge at his little waffle house because I know it'll tick him off.

"Dude, careful, you're going to make it fall over," he whines.

A few minutes after Chris finishes assembling his mini home, he goes all demolition derby on the house and takes it apart. He now suddenly wants to make a tower of waffles instead. Damn, Haley had a point. How is he my best friend? The thing about best friends, though, is sometimes they can persuade you to think that something as stupid and idiotic as waffle tower building is actually, decently cool. So, since I'm still waiting on Brooke and company to finish talking, I put on my metaphorical construction, hard hat, and help Chris build the Leaning Tower of Eggo. It's like a backwards game of Jenga, only with waffles. Sam is now making fun of us, calling us "immature smelly hobos who need to get a social life."

"We have lives; we just don't feel like living it to the fullest at this hour," Chris defends our sophomoric actions.

"Stop gawking and mocking, Sam; you know you want in on this, too," I taunt and rat her out. Chris and I know that everybody, well most people, secretly want to take any opportunity to act like a kid again. It's the only way to make sure you don't go completely cynical in this crazy and disparaging world. The difference with Chris and I, is that we're not secretive about it. That's why I can be a tad irresponsible. That's also half the reason why Chris is the way he is; the other half is because he's Chris Keller.

Anyways, after last night, who wouldn't want an immature break from reality? I know I could. My face is now showing dark purple evidence of Lucas' fist. And dreams about my past resurfaced last night, after hearing Brooke's heartbreaking words. That labyrinth of a past is something I prefer to never go through again.

"Chris! You opened more boxes of waffles?" Sam and I exchange amused glances when Haley screams at just Chris and not at the two of us. She makes her way down the stairs that lead into the kitchen. She glares at us, with a dressed Jamie in her arms.

"Only the three boxes of mini egos. Why do you have so many, anyway?" Chris answers as we stare at the one foot tall tower, and we didn't even use half of the mini waffles yet. I have no idea what Haley's thinking right now, but I'm betting it's along the same lines as Sam's previous statement. Or it's along the lines of how much food we essentially wasted.

"Cool! I wanna play!" Jamie screams out as he wriggles out of his mother's arms. It takes Haley a few seconds to essentially let go and let Jamie play with us. I guess a good night sleep helped out Jamie a lot. It probably also helps that we're acting exactly his age, and that his godfather isn't around.

"Come on, Little Scott; we're going to need someone to help keep this tower balanced," Chris pulls a chair up for Jamie. The little tyke has to stand on the chair, rather than sit, in order to help with the assembly process.

"I know, we can use syrup as glue," Jamie voices his idea. Sam, Chris, and I look at each other. We're ten to twenty years older than the kid and we didn't even think of that.

"Well, someone's a smarty pants five year old," I tease Jamie, as I push aside the random Lego blocks left over from Chris' first building endeavor.

"Daddy says that Mama's a shorty pants mom," Jamie's toothless grin peeks out.

"Yeah, well, Daddy is an antsy pants dancer," Haley joins in on the waffle fun and pokes fun at Nathan's dancing abilities. I knew little Miss Burn Queen has some immaturity left in her. So, now, how many people does it take to build the Leaning Tower of Eggo? It's up to five, so far.

"Is Aunt Brooke here?" Jamie asks out of the blue. He's currently the only one adding onto the masterpiece, seeing as the rest of us are snacking on the freshly toasted pieces Sam placed in the toaster a while ago.

"Of course she is, buddy; we came together," I reply without thinking. I catch Haley's eye and she kinks her brow. What's she looking at me like that for?

"You guys are together a lot. Are you guys kissing?" Jamie questions matter of factly. Oh…that's why. But, how does 'we came together' translate into kissing? Haley, Chris, and Sam stare expectantly at me; their eyes dance and their thumbs twiddle. All three are as eager as Jamie to hear my answer. Why the hell are they staring like devilish foxes? They know the answer; there's nothing going on.

"We're friends, Little J," I answer Jamie truthfully. "Friends who have never kissed," I quickly tack on. I attempt to distract the little fella by asking how Chester is doing.

But, Jamie's mind is still focused on me and Brooke. After quickly revealing that his rabbit is "happy and chubby," he asks me if Brooke and I ever plan on kissing in the near future. Because, according to him, every "adult" he knows were friends first, and then they started kissing. Jamie even counts examples on his hand: his mom and dad, Mouth and Millicent, Skills and Nanny Deb, and of course: Lucas and Peyton.

Do I ever plan on kissing his Aunt Brooke? Well, a certain dream from a week ago seems to spring back in my mind. The dream had been haunting me all week, but I only attributed it to the fact that Brooke and I had been spending more time together than usual. And just when I finally push the 'what if' dream aside, and Brooke and I finally establish some sort of friendship that doesn't rely on witty banters, this question pops up. It pops up like an unexpected, animated bubble from an old school VH1 music video. Thank you so much, Jamie.

Noticing the wrinkle setting into my forehead, Haley saves me. "Hey Julian, can I talk to you real quick?" she motions me towards the other side of the kitchen.

"Watch my waffles, Little J," I give Jamie the two finger-eye pointing gesture from Meet the Parents.

Once I turn away from the scene, my lungs release a huge breath. Damn, that was awkward, at least for me. How the hell am I supposed to answer a question like that? I don't even know the answer. Ok…maybe I do, but that's beside the point.

I start to thank Haley for pulling me out of Jamie's interrogation, but I stop mid sentence. Her eyes and her body language tell me she isn't just trying to save me from a weird situation. She wants to talk.

"How was Brooke last night?" she whispers, crossing her arms. My eyes squint in confusion. Didn't they just talk a few minutes ago?

"Before, during, or after her twenty minute monologue?" I ask.

"Twenty minutes?" Concerned fingers run through her chestnut hair. "Well, afterwards, she wasn't withdrawn or anything like that was she?" she implores and bites her lower lip as she waits for my answer. Today, I've been trying to reign in my impetuous, hasty responses with anything that concerns Brooke. It's mainly because I don't want to say the wrong thing.

"She was pretty silent on the car ride back to the hotel, but I would guess that's expected after screaming for ten minutes straight," I reply, "But you know, she seemed better this morning. We talked about stuff before we came over here."

"Good. Good." The words tumble quietly from her mouth as her eyes stare intently into the hallway. Her hazy, distracted answer makes me wonder if there's more to all of this than I know about. Was there more to Brooke's problems than what she revealed last night, something in addition to her best friends, mother, and whoever Angie is?

Slight trepidation builds up in me; do I really want to delver further into all of this when Brooke hasn't said anything more to me? What if it's something I can't handle? But, I'm concerned; so I ask.

"What's going on, Haley?"

"It's ok; don't worry about it," my question startles her at first, but she shakes it off and recomposes herself within milliseconds. Ok, now how am I supposed to forget about it when her answer is obviously trying to mask something? My mind quickly skims through the moments and words I remember from last night. The most vivid part was how angry Brooke was………maybe she was angry with someone else besides Luke and Peyton.

"Look, um," Haley's attention is focused totally back on me and I'm dragged away from my thoughts and theories. "Thank you for being a friend to Brooke last night. I know it means a lot to her."

"I can play guard dog on your couch tonight, if you want. Well, not really guard dog…but you know, company or whatever," I said after a quiet drive back to the hotel. The suggestion surprised her; it was probably her last surprised of the night. But, I wasn't going to not say anything. I didn't like the idea of her being alone after such a breakdown.

She chuckled at my guard dog phrase and she shook her head, "Maybe some other time. But, I wouldn't mind a hug." My brow quirks up mischievously. "I'm trying to be grateful here, Jack," she insisted with another grin at my facial expression.

"Just trying to get another smile back on your face," I replied. I held out one arm and she leaned in as close as she could. It felt awkward since we're used to "busting each other's chops." But, it didn't feel wrong.

"Thank you, Julian Baker."

"Sure," I answer Haley's 'thank you,' as I force myself back into reality and out of my memories.

"Why are you at a loss for words all of a sudden?" Haley's grin transforms from gracious to amused and curious. She probably thinks I'm uncomfortable by the whole thing. It's partially true, anyway. I'm really not good at the emotional, 'wear your heart on your sleeve' thing. So I go along with what she thinks, and what's partially true, so that I don't have to explain the memory that temporarily took over me.

"The whole emotional conversation mushiness really isn't my thing," I say with a scrunched nose, while my hands find their way into my pockets. Haley laughs and a voice from behind us startles me.

"Aww you can drop the tough guy act, Julian. We all know you're soft and fuzzy underneath," Nathan taunts and pats me on the back as he and Brooke make their way through the kitchen.

Before I get a chance to retort at the mocking comment, Chris decides to chime in with his two cents, "And cuddly. He likes to cuddle." The girls are all now staring at me with amused, gaped faces. "Hey! You just ate the balcony!" Chris complains when I remove a piece from the now two foot tower. Where the hell did all the waffles come from?

"Nobody calls me cuddly, Keller," I reply with my mouth semi full of cold toasted waffle.

"Like fuzzy is any better."

"Chester is soft, fuzzy, and cuddly!" Jamie exclaims as he takes a break from playing with his Legos.

At that statement, Sam's grin broadens. "Um, Julian, I think Jamie just called you a rabbit," the teenager notes. Her comment is received with hilarity from everyone except me.

"You know, with your musical expertise, you could play the drums for those Energizer people," Brooke pokes my forearm. The Energizer Bunny? She's calling me the replacement for the Energizer Bunny. Peachy.

"You know, if it weren't for my fuzziness, you might not be so chipper right now," I rationalize with an arrogant grin. Her hazels implore into my own deep set of eyes; she knows where I'm going with this. If I hadn't said anything last night, she might still be chained to unreleased tension and emotions. So, like earlier with the 'exhausting protection' argument, Brooke rolls her eyes and concedes.

"You're right; and I'm thankful for your fuzziness," She tilts her head and plasters a new dimpled grin on her face. I've never seen that grin before.

"Jamie, why don't you get a carrot for Julian," she teases me yet again, "and then we will all go out and get some real breakfast instead of this toasted stuff." She examines a waffle and throws it back onto the plate.

"Chocolate chip pancakes? Ooo French toast! Yes, Belgian waffles!" Jamie, Sam, and Chris simultaneously exclaim. All of us give Chris our "What the hell" looks of the day. Didn't he have his fill on that particular breakfast food? There's still a tower that is going to go to waste. Correction…half a tower.

"Here, Big J," Jamie tugs on my pant leg and holds out a carrot. I purse my lips and glare at a laughing Brooke Davis.

"Thanks, Little J. You're too kind," I force my lips to curve upwards as I begrudgingly accept his edible gift. Sam and Brooke hide their laughter behind an empty waffle box when I throw a piece of carrot their way.

"You know I can cook, right?" Haley tells Brooke once everyone calms down.

"You willing to cook for a party of seven, Teacher Mom?" Brooke questions with hands on her hips.

"Eight including Chris' second stomach," Sam interjects.

At Brooke and Sam's comments, Haley tells us 'Oh crap' with her face.

"Alright, knucklehead," Nathan scoops up Jamie over his shoulder and decides what to do, " you heard your aunt. We're going out; you might as well get some real pants on for your real breakfast."

Diner breakfast for seven…or eight; I won't be surprised if it ends up in a food fight, or if we end up taking two and a half hours to eat our food. I feel sorry for the server who has to deal with all of us. I don't think I've ever had so many "real" breakfasts in such a short period of time. Maybe Chris and I don't have to get a life, just some OJ, scrambled eggs, and waffles. And I sound incredibly cheesy right now. I need to borrow some cynicism from "past-Sienna" and "past-Julian."

Lucas' POV

"You should go, Luke," Nathan tells me when he reaches my car, "Brooke's worried and she really doesn't want to be worried right now." I haven't been staring at them for long, maybe thirty seconds or so. But it's long enough for Brooke to get suspicious from the diner window, probably because she knows I'm finding it hard to leave.

I don't answer Nathan, nor do I move. I just continue to watch the glow exude from her face and emanate from her smile. I know I was the weight on her shoulders that prevented her from being this happy. Her dimples deepen as she laughs at something being said; she buries the laugh into Julian's shoulder. Even though I'm watching from several feet away, I can tell that Julian is feigning annoyance at her head touching his shoulder. He playfully nudges her head away and she sticks her tongue out at him. Spikes of jealousy form and pierce the longer I continue to watch the way Brooke and Julian interact.

"It probably doesn't look like it, but a part of her is still hurting," Nathan breaks me out of my trance.

"You know that it kills me that I caused all of this," I respond sincerely, looking him straight in the eye. The guilt will never disappear. Nathan nods at my comment and looks back at the window. Haley's watching us now, concerned.

"Time and effort, Luke," Nathan sighs as he turns back to face me. "A lot of effort," he reinforces his point. I know...god, do I know. Effort I can do; I just have to prove it. Time…well, that's the sucky part.

"Yeah," I mumble. My eyes rest on the glowing family scene again and I can't help but think that Peyton and I may not have a moment like that for a long time.

"We're still family, Luke. You have to remember that," Nathan reassures me that he'll still be around to listen. He always seems to know what to say recently. Nathan, Haley, Jamie, Peyton, and I, we're still family…but not with Brooke, not until she's ready to have us back, full force, in her life again. Jamie…I still haven't talked to him or Nathan and Haley about what happened. Now isn't the time, though. Today isn't the time. I can't find it in my heart to ruin this day for any of them.

"Hey Nate," I call after him before he begins to walk away. He turns back around to face me. I know he can see the guilt, the shame, and the desperation in my eyes.

"I'm sorry."

Really long A/N: That's chapter 12…and the end of Friday/Saturday in their world…wow, five chapters just to cover two days. Lol. Anyways, the pace will start to pick up. (I'm not going to write what happens to them every single day.)

As you could probably tell, Brooke and Julian are getting closer and feelings more than friendship are starting to appear.

Brooke knows she needs to accept the attack happened to her in order to move on, but she can't find the courage to just accept it happened - she's still angry, but not as angry as she used to be - people are healing her, and letting go of Leyton, temporarily, helps her a lot.

The whole waffle tower deal – that was supposed to be a metaphor about how much Julian's relationships have grown with everyone in Tree Hill. Also, after this chapter, there'll be a bunch more Julian stuff. There was a mini paragraph referencing his past to get the ball rolling.

I also am having fun having Lucas suffer b/c he's ticking me off on the show.

Major Thank You Kudos and Treats to: forever22, JadeStJms, DereksIndigoScrubs, BloomingMissy, PrincessOnyx, gigga, Ashley, sunshine, vanilla902, dibop, Toughluckbaby, gigglingismylife, powerof3halliwells, ParadiseLost23, brulian equals forbidden love, TeamSophia, LeLa London, Trish91, , TaraFish, xcgirl3, ok, Angell4NEPatriots, flipflopgal, p0line, Leona, PeterClaire, GodessSiri, Maiqu, Princesakarlita411, little-things-count, princetongirl, Liora, SV, Vette90, and etfanalltheway.

I appreciate all of your insights, reviews, and opinions so much! You guys rock! When I have time after school, I'm definitely going to respond to each your reviews because if I respond to all of them here, it'll be forever long. Thank you guys again!

And to all you Readers: THANK YOU so much for continuing to support this story, and for all of your patience, since my updates haven't been as often as I'd like them to be. It means so much that so many of you continue to read and enjoy this.

My opinions about 613 b/c I want to voice them somewhere:

As of right now, as I'm writing this note, I just finished watching episode 613 on tivo. .Gee. I'm going to limit my opinions to two or three points because this A/N is getting too long.

I wish Julian had more to say in this ep. I hate what his dad thinks of him. I hate that his dad told all of it to Lucas. I love how Julian came to the house at the end and let Brooke cry on his shoulder, even if it did look like he felt awkward about it.

If Julian has daddy issues (which it looks like is going to happen) I'm going to scream b/c practically everyone on this show has an issue w/ their father. I know reality has broken families, but man, there's a lot of daddy hatred/issues in OTH world. ie: Lucas, Nathan, Dan, Derek, Sam, Rachel(issues more so than hatred), Peyton and her bio daddy (issues), Brooke (issues), and yes, I'll even include Mouth's father (remember season 3 and he told Peyton that his father and grandfather ended on bad terms). At least Nathan and Jamie are awesome together.

Sophia was absolutely brilliant! I loved everything she brought to the table. And I loved that Brooke didn't need Peyton's help to kick ass. Brooke didn't need anyone the way Peyton needed Brooke in episode 415. I'm not a Peyton hater…yes, I actually like her at times…I loved her almost as much as Brooke in S1-3…But, I've always seen Brooke as the stronger girl, and that was confirmed in this episode. Brooke is awesome. Sophia is awesome.

Ok, that's it for my rambling. Thanks again you guys! So…read and review if you enjoyed this chapter and yes, don't worry, updates will come a lot sooner than they did before! And Brulian is coming you guys…just wait a little bit longer.