I decided to pair the rest of these chapters up into groups. These are chapters 11-21
I will do this for two more groups. I don't know if the story actually stops at chapter 38, but that's as far as i got. so please enjoy the rest of the commentary.
Thank Godric i do not own this story, My Immortal
AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 YOU'RE SRUPID!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me! RAVEN, I want an explanation.
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"NO!" I screamed.
I was horrorfied!
B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. She was just trying to help, selfish slut.
Dumbledore chased after me shouting Dumbledore doesn't chase people. Why would he chase you? . but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way You're a perv for thinking about it..
Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. Bloody tears with a side of chopped up wrists. Delightful.
They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. If I tried to jump into the tub angrily, I would most likely twist my ankle and end up angrily jumping back out to twist the other.
I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I would like a steak right now. Where's my A1 sauce?
I was so fucking depressed!
I got out of the bathtub and the hair dryer fell in and electrocuted you put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. DAMN!
I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. Pink metal stuff? Yeah. I wear it all the time. Especially with my lime green metal suit.
I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! Snap, I order you to tell Loopin to stop MASTICATING on my front lawn. I'm tired of stepping in unknown substances. They were sitting on their broomsticks. Masturbation on a broom stick. Yeah. Uhm. Remus John Lupin, you just wait until Nymphadora hears about your late night fiascos outside of little goffik girls' bedrooms.
"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" You… you… oh bloody hell. Probably. I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in. The last thing I wanna see when I get out of the bath is a Marilyn Manson towel. I'd be afraid it would eat me.
"Abra Kedavra!" Avada… Avada you little bitch. You can at least get that right. he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I pointed my womb at my doctor, and he told me I needed to have immediate surgery. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion I would like to know how a gazillion bullets fit into a gun… and how you got that many bullets in the first place. times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. The camera. I bet it's happy to be broke.
Suddenly, Dumblydore DU MBLYDORE BAHAHAHA. ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin I twitch every time she spells Lupin Loopin. I want to lunge at her throat. and then he waved his wand and suddenly… Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk. Running on a broom, the newest way to shed those love handles!
"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" Hagrid is not a student, I don't care IF you changed him or whatever, and he certainly isn't LITTLE.
"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" MERLIN'S BEARD YOU SPELLED IT RIGHT!
"This cannot be." Snap crackle pop. Or my favourite, Snapple! said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. People, wands now hold bullets.
"There must be other factors." Yeah, Fear Factor.
"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly. Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. You shot Lupin, you idiot. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!" CHA-CHING! Another Paris Hilton in the world.
I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. . I know EXACTLY how that feels.
"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. Clook. Clook. Fook. Pattern. Boo.
And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. . Then pass out, preferably where you can slip out of the window and fall to your death on the ground.
"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. Hagrid, where did you hear 50 cent, and can I please Stupefy the person responsible. Fff, rapping Hagrid I cant picture that at all.
"Because you're goffic?" Snapple asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan. Snape was afraid so that means he's connected to Satan?
"Because I LOVE HER!" Wow, Slut.
AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat that's only a LITTLE true. Pedophiles lurk in the neighborhoods mostly. Hagrid, well, he's not one of them. I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian Because J.K. Rowling didn't tell us his religious background.. plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! Where the FUCK did Cedric Diggory come from? He has better sense.
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I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago Drago? had given me in case anything happened to him. Draco doesn't give presents to sluts.
. He had told me to use it valiantly Use yer knives VALIANTLY folks, otherwise, you suck. against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together. Goody gumdrops.
"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid Hairgrid? Haha, that makes me think of something weird. Really weird. but it was Vampire.
He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. A couple notes: you, in the beginning, told us that Harry's scar somehow miraculously disappeared, and now, it's back? And, what the hell are red whites?
I stopped. "How did u know?" ! How did he know what? What did he know that we don't?
"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"
"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. That's what I thought.
"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram Pentagram scar? for me and I always cover it up with foundation." The white stuff, I'm assuming. he said back.
"Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! Necessary? then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!" Volfemort! Haha!
Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. You skipped a bunch of shit there, didn't you?
Snapple and Froot Loopin and HAHRID were there too.
. They were going to St. Mango's St. Mangos, where the sweetest Mangos grow year-long! after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. not all the girls are hot. For one, I don't think Cho Chang is so cute after breaking Harry's heart. Dumbledore had constipated he ate too many licorice wands the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them. I put my middle finger up at this story.
Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses. D'aw.
"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.
"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, Okay. When did this happen? You wear pink fishnet, ink metal stuff, and the inside of your coffin is HOT PINK! You telling me you suddenly HATE pink? and I don't like fucked up preps like you. Yes, Hagrid as a prep. Picture him in Bermuda shorts with a sweater draped around his neck." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.
"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses." What the hell are they then, HAIRGRID?
"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" Someone be so kind as to translate this. I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.
"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily.
"No you didn't I replied."
"You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snapple and Froot Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong). Yes, Masturbated is STILL spelled wrong to it he added silently.
"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.
He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses."
He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY!
"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely. I only have one My Chemical Romance song in my play list, so I wouldn't know.
"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." how wonderful. Hagrid, really?
Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!" I beto you're noto okayo!
And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Which you already stated in the previous sentence. Now I knew he wasn't a prep. Because the flame was black?
"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?" Drako: Draco Malfoy's counterpart created by Tara Gillespie. He wears extremely black clothes, with black eyeliner and red colored contacts. He likes MCR, Good Charlotte's Web and Joel Madden. Not the real Draco Malfoy. So, fuck off, you muggle bitch!
Hairgrid HAIR HAIR HAIR HAIR rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.
"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, Dumblydore made an entrance without me knowing it. These people have a habit of just appearing. watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT Sure, we are all laughing. That's right.) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"
"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled.
dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back. Dumblydore with a headache was so much fun, why take that away?
Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. Wait a minute. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"
Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress White is a colour too, why don't you try it? that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong BJA on boots? on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) you are already scary enough and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. You put black lip gloss over the red lipstick?
"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. Kawaii means cute, for those of you that don't know. "Fangs (geddit) Yes. You're a slutty vampire, we got that. you do too." I said sadly too You look cute, but im'ma say it all depressed because I'm goffik, you fukn prep., but I was still upset.
I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. . I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snapple and Froot Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. Heir of Magical Magic Creatures. Way to live Harry. You're supposed to be an Auror (excuse me if I sound ridiculous with that last statement. I'm fairly new to HP. Still learning the more I read D:)
He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco Draco and Vampire sitting in a tree K-I-L-L-I-N-G… who? YOU!. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. . So that's what happened to Cedric!
"Hi." he said in a depressed way.
"Hi back." I said in an wqually said way. *facepalm*
We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.. This is definitely not the time to be screwing Draco's 'ex', horny whore.
"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" that's better. shouted Professor McGoggle, Pfft, McGoggle? who was watching us and so was everyone else. They get off on stuff like this.
"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" You jumped on Harry too! I shouted and then I ran away angrily.
Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.
"NO!" I ran up closer. To fuck him some more.
"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. You asked him that before…
"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." Harry, don't repeat yourself, it's annoying. he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!" DRACO IN BONDAGE WHERE'S MY CAMERA. *coughcough* I just want to see Draco naked.
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SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111 You say thanks, then you… bah… what the bloody hell.
HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER IS No, she doesn't.
AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! I need to look up this Gerard Way person… PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!
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Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore.
We were so scared.
"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.
"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily. Despicable!
"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time. New name: Volsemort.
He laughed in an evil voice. Pfft.
"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.
"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Npw, now, Albus, that's not very nice of you. Not after how much he misbehaved in school the hotties are supposed to get away with that type of behavior especially with YOU Ebony. Well, okay, when you blame her, that makes it a little better. She did turn him into a goffik freak." he said while he frowned looking at me.
"Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Dumbledore likes everyone. Psht, he wasn't even mad at Draco when he tried to kill him.
Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)
"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Tears of Blood, eh? That sounds bothersome. And a little too True Blood.
Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed. ME TOO! LET'S ALL GET TARA!
"What?" I asked him.
"You'll see." he said.
He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in CANDY MOUNTAIN CHARLIE! Voldemprt's lair! Why did we have to go there?
We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!" Twitch. It was….. Voldemort! :D GET HER VOLDY!
AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. What did the doctors tell you? PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws! . God reviews? Aw, poor God.
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WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD. Special Victims Unit.
We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Pettigrew~
Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail No, bitch, Peter is WORMTAIL! Ask Lupin. was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.
"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun Guns… what the fuck up with the guns? Wands are so much better. he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. Peter, don't you do it.
"." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok) So, Peter is still a Marauder at this point? You called him fat. He just wants to fuck you.
"Huh?" I asked."Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" Shit, I was right. asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." It works with almost everyone else. I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain. Squeamish. I hate the image my mind gave me.
"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly. You stabbed him in the heart and he's running around? He had to run around a little before he died?
"Snaketail what art thou doing?" Dying. called Voldemort. Then… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. Voldemort in high heels. I wouldn't be able to take him seriously. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.
"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. Poor Draco. Knew it. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) Sex-pack. How original of you. and a really huge you-know-what and everything. SAY THE WORD DICK, IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO DO. Oh my. Did any one else think of a lame joke after I said that?
"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything." You are ugly. Because you look like a prostitute.
"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco.
"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Froot Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! But you stabbed him in the heart. A simple… No… would have donw. I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?". Satan would reject you.
I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away. Again: running away vs. sex with Draco. I would have to chose sex.
AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! How do you even have friends? fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!
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"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"
But I was too mad.
"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!" NO. Have sex with… never mind. I shouted.
I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson That's one horrid key. on it.
He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire.. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. You would think she wouldn't have anywhere else on her wrists to slit. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. Biology? What class is she referring to?
I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. UNIFORMS DAMMIT! Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters.
I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. . I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Oh… okay, so you meant Transfiguration? Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco! I want a guitar that turns into Draco. I would play it all day long. (geddit? Lmao, couldn't resist.)
"Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. You are prejudiced. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. You are brainwashed. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide No, that never happened. Before you met her, you were better. all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!." What he really said: "I wouldn't dare waste my time with a filthy Mudblood like you! Stay out of my way, or my father will hear about this."
Then…. he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) That was when Draco noticed… you were an easy lay. Regrettable lay, but an easy one. right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!
"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) I don't like her either, but you don't see me telling he whole world I kiss like her and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Froot Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede Them Muggles… right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.
AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! I know I'm not a prep. raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet your fucking what? ur supsd 2 rit dis! then why are you the one posting it? Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese!
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We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. We ran happily… we ran happily… I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK! MCR were there playing 'Helena'.
I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection Because you have a habit of staring at crotches? Lovely. but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. If Draco got horny over a guy in front of me, there would be some confrontation.
I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. The descriptions of what you wear are almost predictable now. Stop it. I don't care how much black you wear.
Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants.
Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers! DEATH DEALERS! Step right up, ladies and gents! These lovely guys are dealing out death by the minute! Don't miss your chance!
"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them." You already are at a concert with Draco.
"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what. Guys talk about sex more than you can imagine. You must go to a private school for girls or something. But… even THEY know what guys talk about.
"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.
"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."
"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?" From now on, I will no longer refer to my church goers as Christians. They are all now Christinas.
"NO." he muttered loudly.You cannot mutter loudly. That defeats the purpose of muttering..
"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily. I shoot angrily all the time. Makes life fun.
"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me. Is this some sort of Gothic High School Musical?
I was flattened like a pancake cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!
"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.
B'loody Mary was standing there. "
Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese).
"BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. Poor little Willow. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!) Raven, I don't know why you continue to help her.
"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily.
Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. "Maybe Willow will die too." I said.
"Kawai." Like omg, did you see how that Muggle died the other day? It was like totally kawaii, girlfriend. B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den froot loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak."
"Kawai." Necrophilia is also kawaii, donchuknow? I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie. Can't you just say you whispered? Saves a lot of trouble.
"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA." nothing, I repeat, NOTHING you wear is HOT.
B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping."
"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. Hot Topic. Your Friend With Benefits.
"No." My head snaped up.
'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?" Just because someone doesn't buy every piece of clothing from Hot Topic doesn't make them a prep.
"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all."
"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(Or me.
"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms."
"OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly. Dumblydore. Makes me giggle every time.
"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."
We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE then what the fuck did you say it for? and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."
"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked. Yeah, I mean, like, you're a POSER PREP! Le gasp.
"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers BAHAHA. ther are in this town man! Yesterday froot loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch. there is such a thing as a gothic camera pouch?" He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera." does it even matter if you know?
"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit. we didn't know you were in there.
"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said. I don't like the name satan. It gives me the willies. I'm a Christian. No… wait. I am a Christina. (no, really, I am a Christian xD not trying to offend anyone)
"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary. Hermione… I keep forgetting that B'Loody Mary is you.
"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked. Hot Topic didn't give me my Kingdom Hearts stuff to me for free, why does the goffik get her slut clothes for free?
"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA way what's yours?" She casually slipped Tara in there. As if we didn't already know it was her.
"Tom Riddle?." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."
"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!" He's a perv because he said he might see you at the concert. I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, and you automatically assume every guy wants to fuck you Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"
HI HAGRID!
AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. I saw that quiz on the internet, and almost took it, but decided against it because… well, I didn't want to waste my time being told I'm a prep. (and yet, I waste my time doing commentary haha.) if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr! She probably masticated on it. And we all know she gave Draco AIDS.
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Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. Because all Hot Topics have that option. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted If HE wanted? koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual Tom Riddle+fashion= what the fuck ).
Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts.
"WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard."
Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily. That was completely anti-climactic
"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said. Hey slut, you look cute. Yeah. Okay, sluts are now cute.
"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. This is poppycock, I tell you.
She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red how can something black also be red? miniskirt, leather fish-nets and WTF is a leather fishnet? Do they even make leather fishnet? and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. No offense, but anorexia is never known to look good on anyone, no matter how pretty their face is.
"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked.
"Yah." I said happily. first sadly, then this.
"I'm gong with Diabolo." she anserred happily. Oooh, I'm telling Hermione~!
Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came.
They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Draco Malfoy ALWAYS knows he's attractive.
Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. Lovely.
He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Oh Ronald, what are you doing to yourself? Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower.
B'loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola Who is Dracula?.
Dracola used to be called Navel NEVILLE? YOU GAVE INTO THE DARKS SIDE? Out of all of them, I thought you would stay out of this story. but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. Oh… wow.
They dyed their hair black and red in a car crash.
Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. Not that I would know… but isn't that sort of the ending result?
He was in Slitherin now of course he was.
He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it I totally saw that coming.. We kall him Dracula now Blehhh~
Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik Geddit? Because no one cares.)that his dad Lucian Lucius, you changed your name too? What will Cissy say? gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Because all the Slytherin goffiks are doing it :D!
Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there….I gapsed.
Gerard was da sexiest guy eva I looked him up. There is NOTHING attractive about him. Seriously. If you think he'd hotter than Tom Felton, which I'm sure you do, then you really ARE on crack, and all that blood you lost from wrist slitting didn't help out your twisted little brain. And when I say little, I mean MICRO-FUCKING-SCOPIC.!
He locked even sexier den he did in pix. I highly doubt that. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice.
We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz.
Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. He should have left that on. I won't comment on how you said he looked sexy with a mask on, however.
So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! What? It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes YOU THOUGHT VOLDY WAS SEXY ADMIT IT!... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers! Death Dealers. Gets me every time.
"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily.
"Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!" Kill her, that's all you need to do.
"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife. Voldemort with a knife…
Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair lung hair, ewww. and a looong black bread. Sounds like a personal problem. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. Oh fuck… tell me this isn't- He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE! You, goffik girl, should burn in the lake of fire for doing that to Albus Dumbledore.
AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! You need not be so mean to your readers, it might make them hate you. Oh, wait. . fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. But you're a prep whenever you don't help her out. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der! What did you just say?
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I woke up the next day in my coffin. You're so very informative.
I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly STRETCH MARK CITY! .
I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it. I am still not fully used to the fact that they are letting you stroll around Hogwarts in slut-fits.
(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Where did that come from?
Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away.
We flew there on our brooms.
Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Yes, lacy brooms are so in this year.
Draco had a black MCR boom. It can't get worse than Draco on an MCR broom, can it?
We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.. I was wrong.
Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. Sigh.
There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. A pink Great Hall? And there were pastors Lol, I didn't know bands had pastors. Don't go singing songs about the devil guys. Your pastor will condemn you. of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. Hey, bitch. There is NOTHING wrong with the Backstreet Boys. You crossed my line. Prepare for Ultra Bitch KagsChann.
"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow.
B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote . t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots.
Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs My thighs? Since when did I start wearing prostitute clothes? and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. None of the above. The boys joined in cause they were bi. You are an insolent, slimy, pessimistic, anorexic, slutty little git, aren't you?
"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel Neville is a belly button, I just realized what navel meant. was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. How the fuck?
He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. So the gothic Dumbledore? He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black. Tanned skin and WHITE foundation. You need to make up your mind.
"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped. NO FUCKING SHIT!
"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!" He's just wearing that because you made him.
"Hello everyone." he said happily. Happy Gothic Dumbledore? "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?" . I think Tara is possessed.
Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer.
Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1. You… what… I …. FUCK IT ALL.
"BTW you can call me Albert." You can't call the Headmaster by his first name… Well, I guess you can't get in TOO much trouble for calling him Albert… HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.
"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation.
We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) I'm sure Gerard Way cries blood all the time. but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted. Dumbledore is 115, he had his mid-life crisis before you were thought of… Ah, those were the days.
I was so fucking angry. .
im nut ok i promise We know, we know.
AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11 I'm totally jealous. Can't you tell? We all want to learn from the Almighty Tara Gillespie. Not. frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 Do what? BTW evonyd a poorblod She can't be a pureblood… didn't someone call her a Mudblood earlier? I can't remember. That's how ridiculous and random this story is/was. so der! 1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11
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All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore.. We were so fucking pissed off.
Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go. How many MCR concerts can one person handle?
Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Draco was being all secretive. Ah, Draco being secretive. He must be slowly turning back to normal.
I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angst Nevermind… (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).
"No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. I hate that song.
He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. You and your damn clothes descriptions. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik)
I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it …really? a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. Cross belly things are worn by all the goffik gothics out there nowadays. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik) I'll get right on that.
"Accuse me? I have. Trust me. What about me!" I growled.
"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.
"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.
"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.
But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring.
Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces omg… feces XD like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video! Like oh my fucking god! No one cares!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot. Cigarettes and pot are not the same thing.
Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated. Which cannot be done without an enchantment lift under Dumbledore's permission. But in the shape he's in… I'm not sure what to say to that.
"You gave me a fucking shock!". I shouted angrily dropping my pot.
"Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?" Coming to fuck you.
Only it wasn't just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore. Hello, Dumblydore. Are you feeling better yet?
"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. Why does he have a purse? "What are u wearing to the concert?" No… please… no more clothes descriptions!
"U no who MCR r!" I gasped. That was not the right answer. You are the weakest link, goodbye.
"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u." Cliffhanger. Who else can guess what the surprise is?
AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok prepz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania You mean cutting yourself. 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz.
All day I wondered what the surprise was.
Meanwhile, Of course, here we go again. I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots.
MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed Slitting and moshing? Oh-so multi talented! 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. You were excited to be bleeding?
Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly blinkblink I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again. I imagine you did.
"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Froot Loopin!
"R u gonna cum rape me or what." Why yes, Froot Loopin is after your Satanist body. I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snapple since he was a pedo. Snape and Lupin are pedophiles, and that gives you permission to swear?
"No, actshelly (geddit, hell Brilliant.) kan I plz burrow sum condemns. Only if you promise to CONDEMN her. " he growld angrily.
"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend , huh?" I don't think Nymphadora is six. I shouted sarkastikally.
"Fuker." He said, gong away. Way to go Froot Loopin!
Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Went… where?
Den I gasped….Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1 Dobby! …wait… Snape and Lupin?
"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted BANG! angrily when they saw me.
Dobby ran away crying. I would have too.
Dey got up, though. Man-thingies out and errythang!
Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it Um… no. I like yaoi… but that is just something I will not watch) but both of them were fuking preps. Snape is most definitely a prep. Can't you see him in bright colours? (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND PUSH YOU OUT INTO THE SUNLIGHT WHERE YOU TURN INTO ASH LITTLE GIRL!)
"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat.)very good -clap-
"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lumpkin D'aw, Lumpkin. shouted angrily.
"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed. What?
"You dimwit!." Snake began 2 shoot angrily Severus' got a gun, bum bum bum..
And then…I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. Cameras. The ultimate defense. U could see that they were naked and everything. For shame.
"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?" She wants to masticate to your nakedness, guys. Masticate. That's right.
"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked. Snarked?
"So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Dumbledork. So fuck off, u bastards!" I started to run.
They chased me but I threw my wound Ah. at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot. Oh god, she's going to screw him.
"WTF where'd Draco?" I asked him.
"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum." Vampire said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?" Of course she does.
Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Serious Blak Siriusly? had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said 'ENOBY' on it. Oh, how terribly sweet of him.
….I gasped. Again with the gasping.
We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing. We knew this.
Vampire and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. Slut. I gapsed, looking at da band.
I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot!
He begin 2 sing 'Helena' and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ….And And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner. Dracy! What are you doing crying again!
AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich ravern cuz it fok u prepz!1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help. btw transilvana rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed! I had to read that like three times and I still got a headache.
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Later we all went in the skull. Draco was crying in da common room.
"Draco are u okay?" I asked in a gothic voice. It tears me up whenever Draco cries in the Half-Blood Prince.
"No I'm not u fuking bitch!" he shouted angrily. YES! DRACO! STRIKE BACK!
He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. Bahhahahahahaha, suicidal running! Was he carrying scissors?
I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide. …
"Its ok Enoby." said Vampire comfortly. "Ill make him feel better." By screwing him senseless in the lavatory. No. Ew. My mind rejected that immediately.
"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" EXACTLY WHAT HE MEANT! I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too. At least Harry doesn't have AIDS.
"Draco please come!" Oh, yes… please, Draco. he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face Bucket face xD.
I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of! Homophone, a letter or diphthong that has the same sound as one or more other letters or diphthongs. I chose this definition because it had diphthong in it.) And then… we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke. Invincibility coke. Now. I could drink that. (I laughed so hard when I read this that my god brother looked at me like I was completely insane. Then he asked me what I was reading, and he said he didn't get it. He isn't supposed to. I don't get it either. That's why it's so funny.)
We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris (Filch is now Chuck Norris, everybody. Watch him roundhouse kick this goffik bich) there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.
"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Filth come.
He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.
"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris.
"No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!" Vampire said under his breast Breast xD in a disgusted way.
"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Mr. Norris.
Den he heard Filch meow. "Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked. Filth nodded. And then….Vampir frenched me! He did it jus as….. Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1 Wait… the cat…? The cat talked? Or Filch… or is Filch the cat now… Brain hurts.
"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. . And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school. Slitting his wrists because of YOU!
"Draco!" I cried. "R u okay?" You know, if I saw someone slitting their wrists, I would not ask them if they were okay. I would ask them what the hell they were going to accomplish killing their selves and throw that razor as far as I could.
"I guess though." Draco weeped.
We went back to our coffins frenching each other. You were kissing in two different coffins?
Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid That reminds me of something perverted. (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school! Dun dun dunnnn plot twist.