Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, or most of the OCs. OC ownership will be put at the end. Oh, and I don't own Shakira. XD
Warning: IT STILL CONTAINS NUTS! :D And it's cracked.
The Oddishes snickered as they glanced around at their comrades. They all opened their mouths and a variety of voices spoke in unison. "This is a warning. We're coming, and there's nothing you can do. You fight against us; you die. You surrender without a fight of any sorts; you still die! You breathe; you die! There's no escaping us; we will take your life. You'll all perish as the rightful leaders take over. Here's a hint; they ain't any of you! Fear thy name of the Oddish family. FEAR IT! This message has been paid for by the O.D.D.I.S.H. society; Orange Dread Dances In Shiny Harpoons."
O_o; Really? Orange Dread Dances In Shiny Harpoons? That's just lame… *Strangled* Right, the story…
A flash of light came, forcing Pokemon all over the globe to cover their eyes to not lose sight. Unfortunately, a stupid Swoobat decided to "not go along with the crowd" and keep its eyes open. It was blinded by the flash and fell out of the air, onto the ground, where a monster truck ran over it.
Wait… How can Pokemon drive trucks? Where did they get trucks from? What makes these trucks so… "monstrous"? Eh, this is a crack fic…
When the light vanished, all over, the Oddishes had vanished without a trace.
They vanished less mysteriously than they appeared? LAME ODDISHES. LAME….
Later, in Hoenn…
A male Swampert stood alone in a meeting room. He was perched on top of the official looking ovular black table, dancing like there was no tomorrow, and with moves as weird as his, for anyone who happened to see this, they might not want to live to see tomorrow.
He was singing, his words coming out at a cross between screaming and howling. "OH, MY HIPS DON'T LIE, YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!" His hips swung back and forth, completely out of sync with the beat. "MY HIPS WON'T LIE, CAUSE THEY DON'T LIE! YOU CAN TRUST MY HIPS! MY HIPS DON'T LIE!"
An Audino poked his head through the door leading to the meeting room, and instantly regretted it. "Um, sir?" The Swampert didn't hear the Audino's surprisingly deep voice and continued his bad dancing. "Um, SIR!" The Swampert froze like a deer in headlights. "We have to do something about these Oddish."
The Swampert pouted, "Why?"
The Audino rolled his eyes, "We're the army, navy, and basically every military function that exists. In situations of crisis, we're in charge. So, therefore, we need a plan. A good one."
The Swampert paused, pondering several ideas before replying. "Send in Team Alpha."
"Hunting down terrorists, so I'm afraid that won't be possible."
"Team Beta?"
"Ilex Forest fires." The Audino sighed, wondering how long the conversation would last.
"Team Sword?"
"They're missing, sir." The Audino began to play with his ears.
The Swampert frowned. "Oh, right… How about Team Wish?"
"Fighting Mewtwo." The Audino began shifting his feet, becoming impatient.
"Team Team?" The Swampert questioned hopefully.
"We don't have such a team, sir."
The Swampert groaned. "Fine, send in Bows."
The Audino rolled his eyes. "Bows is visiting some friends, remember? We don't know when he'll get back."
The Swampert sighed, "Tabsunne, get her..."
Tabsunne's eyes flew upward in shock. "General Fin, remember last time? There was more chaos than the solution was worth!"
General Fin glared down at the Audino. "NOW."
::::
Tabsunne scurried away, and several minutes later, a Skitty trotted down the black carpet and up to the General.
A smug grin formed on the Skitty's face. "So, Shakira, you called?"
The Swampert took a step back in surprise, and clumsily fell off the meeting table. He struggled to get up, and when he did, a bright red blush was on his face. "H-how do you know about that?" He quickly questioned.
The smug grin remained on the Skitty's face. "Do you really think I'm going to answer that question? Maybe I could answer it in a pony reaction video… So, I'm going to kick some Oddish butt? WILL DO!
::::
The Skitty happily trotted out of the base, and out into the meadows surrounding it. Her eyes were closed as she skipped through the flowers, anxious to start the violent killing spree.
"Liza…"
Letting out a growl and puffing out her tail, Liza quickly glanced around, spotting a Vileplume and Bellossom. She grinned. "I've been itching to inflict pain on others all day!" She sprang forward, becoming a pastel pink and cream colored blur.
Liza rammed into the Vileplume at a high speed barely wincing, while the Vileplume toppled over onto the ground, moaning in pain.
The Skitty quickly slapped the Bellossom once with her tail, catching the Grass type pokemon off guard. However, as she attempted to repeat this, the Bellossom grabbed Liza's tail and gave a yank. Liza let out a howl of pain, but continued to struggle, attempting to escape the Bellossom's grip.
The Bellossom quickly attacked with Sleep Powder, trapping the Skitty in a cloud of powder. The Skitty began to yawn, and struggled to stand. Finally, she toppled over, stuck in the land of dreams.
In Unova…
The Raichu twitched in his sleep, his face displaying discomfort. "No… No… No… Please, don't put onions on my spam ham… I beg you… I SAID, "PLEASE DON'T PUT ONIONS ON MY SPAM HAM." I USED PLEASE. SO TAKE THE STUPID ONIONS OFF RIGHT NOW." He started throwing punches into the air. "Take this! And that! This'll teach you not to put onions on my spam ham! FEAR ME! FEAR ME!"
"Oh, little Raichu, wake up. Humphrey, you need to wake up. The time for sleeping is over."
The Raichu, aka Humphrey, groaned. "Sis, gimme five minutes. Or an hour. An hour is preferred." He shifted slightly before attempting to dream again.
"I'M NOT YOUR SISTER. WAKE UP, BEFORE I HAVE TO KILL YOU."
Humphrey frowned, not bothering to open his eyes. "You heard me."
"IF I WAS YOUR SISTER, I WOULD'VE DISOWNED YOU."
"That's not very nice…"
"I was just kidding."
"And so was I!" The Raichu released a Thunderbolt.
It hit the Oshawott square in the forehead, and she toppled over. Laying on the floor twitching, she muttered a single word. "Shocking."
Blaze the Oshawott, General Fin the Swampert, and Tabsunne the Audino belong to me.
Giga the Graveler belongs to Gigaremo.
Meph the Venonat belongs to Mephilles2.
Tails the Zigzagoon belongs to tails-is-pwnage.
Annette the Leafeon belongs to TJloveshisMidna.
Chris the Blastoise belongs to ChrisMSMB.
Liza the Skitty belongs to Marioliza.
Humphrey the Raichu belongs to MariYoshBowsFan.