A/N: Hello! Here is a treat for you all- another chapter! I think it is nice and polished and I hope you enjoy it! HUGE props go to my beta- PisceanPal23 for surviving finals and kicking butt on this chapter! You rock chica- thanks! To all my readers- I 'heart' you!
I must say that Twilight does not belong to me, sadly. But I do have 2 black cats...
Crimes and Punishments
The offending scrap of shirt was clutched tightly in my hands. My eyes moved widely over the vast area laid before me. I knew I had to backtrack in order to pick up the scent, but I was paralyzed. Fear like I had never known was running rampant in my veins. Fear that I would never find Victoria, fear that I would once again prove how unworthy I was of her love, and fear that I could never keep her safe. The train clacked noisily behind me adding to the din of other noises scrambling around in my brain.
Somehow the impulse to move made my feet shuffle forward; it was more of a lurch, but it was movement. The sudden realization hit that if I did not keep moving I would never find the desire to keep moving on. The waves of failure and regret lapped at me, their whispered words and taunts flooded my brain. They were all too eager to begin the replay of my failings. The last time that happened I lost two days. I could not bear to lose that much time again. Not when she had been so close to me.
With a shake of my head, I added speed to my movements and I found myself back where I saw her jump the train. Mentally I calculated the time it would take for her put the shirt on the train and then leap, while taking into consideration the speed of the train. Those estimations gave me a rough idea of my search area. I took in the surroundings that I ignored before.
The rail ran horizontal to a gulley which was overgrown with vegetation and trees. I took one last sniff of the scrap shirt and shoved it deep in my pocket. I made sure that it did not occupy the same space as her note. There was no way on this Earth that anything that my love touched would be touching anything that belonged to Victoria. I would try my damnedest to make sure that was true in real life as well. With her scent fresh in my nose, I leapt into the gulley to look for her trail.
I found it after thirty minutes of searching. She was careful to stay as high in the trees as she could before she touched the ground and she was headed in the opposite direction of the train. I sped as fast as I could, desperation my only fuel. I could not fail at this. I shuddered to think what would happen if I did. My fragile spirit was unable to process anymore pain, heartache or disappointment.
I ran as fast as I could for as long as I could. I wanted to be no more than a day behind her; I really wanted to gain ground on her. She must have been feeling quite superior after the train rouse because she never once laid a false trail that I had to double back on. Maybe it was because she knew I was after her or maybe she was feeling confident she would not be caught. Whatever the reason, I took full advantage of being able to just run her trail.
The minutes turned into hours and the miles flew under my feet. I tried my best to keep my mind focused on the singular task of hunting Victoria, but my brain was capable of pondering much more than that. Problem was I did not want to ponder anything. I knew what I would seek out, what I would pull out of the depths of my memories and I could not afford the luxury of it.
I promised myself that when this was all said and done, then I could be all alone with the memories of her. Then I could replay each and every one of them from start to finish and then back again. I could revisit every touch, every word, ever whisper like caress we shared. I could hear the words we spoke to each other and to our hearts. But not before; there was no way I could cope with them now. Even now the knowledge that they were so readily available for replay was painful and haunting.
So I recited things just to keep busy in my brain; bones in the body, translated documents into Latin, recited cars and their features. Anything and everything I could think of just to keep from thinking of her. It was useless and fruitless, but I had to try. I knew that everything I did was for her, because of her, in honor of her. Every sight and sound I could connect to her, it was like a weird version of six degrees of separation. How many steps would it take me to bring everything back to her? I was good at that game.
A few hours later and I found myself outside Springfield and I was the lucky recipient of a gift from Victoria. There on her trail was her latest feeding; the body was barely cold. She was taunting me again. She knew the risks of leaving her kills so obviously displayed. There was no hiding the wounds to make it look like an animal attack or even some freak accident. No, she left the man with his neck exposed and a blatant bite mark for all to see. Disgust rose from the pit of my stomach and I wanted to heave. Her callousness for the rules was just another ploy to get to me. It was all mind tricks.
Without reservation I found the nearest tree, cleanly uprooted it and disposed of the body. There was nothing else for me to do. A part of me grieved for the man and any family he may have had. That they will feel not only his loss, but that they will have no closure. They would never know for sure how he spent his last few seconds of life. For humans, that knowledge can go a long way in the grieving process.
I watched over the years how Carlisle strove to comfort the families left behind when loved ones passed on. He would patiently answer their questions about the last few minutes of the deceased. They asked questions about their pain or comfort, whether they were aware of what was happening and if they suffered. Humans found solace in the answers; they found something they could reconcile.
I once asked Carlisle if he felt disconnected from death, seeing how it surrounded him on a daily basis. He surprised me with his answer. "No, I embrace it, Edward. I may never experience it for myself. I may never have to deal with members of this family dying. So I immerse myself in it. I take in each tear, each cry of denial. I have watched as strong men break down as their child died or amazed at the quiet strength as a husband holds his wife's hands in her final moments. It reminds me of my humanity and what it means to be human."
Seeing the carnage that Victoria left behind, I wondered whether she has held onto any part of her humanity.
The sun was filling the skies with muted oranges and yellows as it rose over the horizon. The scattered heavy clouds allowed for me to continue my pursuit of Victoria without the fear of detection from humans. Her trail crossed over into Kansas by mid afternoon and I found that she was headed into more heavily populated areas. I did not think she was looking for another meal, instead I suspected she was making plans to get me off her trail.
She tried hard to shake me. All over the city her scent permeated. I followed her over buildings, through the city streets and into neighboring towns. We went all over southern Kansas with several loops into parts of Oklahoma. There was no rhyme or reason to her running. We were lucky that our days were cloudy and therefore no need for either of us to take shelter.
My biggest concern was that she was sticking fairly close to the cities, which was a prime location for her hunting, but it did little to help me. She knew this, of that I had no doubt. It had been over two weeks since I had hunted to complete satiation. Since then it has been short and sweet hunting, taking an animal if it crossed my path. If I took time to hunt I feared I may lose her for good.
A day later she was making another loop back into Kansas and it was the closest we had been to any wooded area. I took a chance to find something quick. I could wait no longer, I was unsure when I would be this close to my source of food again. I was at Victoria's mercy and it did not sit easy with me. I lucked out as I entered the woods where I found a few foxes and a coyote. They tasted horrible, but the persistent burn and ache was subdued. It would have to do for now.
I headed back to her trail and the hunt resumed. I hated to admit to myself, but I was getting more and more frustrated as time wore on. Doubts crept in that left me feeling I would never get close enough to kill her. The looming threat of failure was heavy in my heart and on my spirit. This just allowed the pain and misery I had been able to keep at bay up to now to creep closer and closer to the surface. I knew that if I allowed that to happen, I would curl up where I stood and never be able to function.
Keep her safe. Keep her safe. This was the mantra I had taken to reciting over and over. I needed to remind myself, in a safe way, why I was doing this. It was all for her, it was the least I could do. I owed it to her and not just because I love her. No, I was trying to make up for the horrible web of lies and deceit I spun when I left. It was all part of that karmic debt I was trying to erase. But if I was completely truthful with myself, I did not know if I could be absolved of those lies. They were too heinous and cruel for them to be washed away by actions on my part. No, the absolution of those lies could only come from her and that would never happen.
A spasm of sadness ripped through me at that thought and it brought me up short, made me stumble and I caught myself before I fell down. This was the first time that I had thought of that night and the words that I spoke. It was also the first time I realized that there would never be a chance to take them back, to say how sorry I was and beg -no grovel- for forgiveness. Once again I found myself wishing for the ability to weep at that knowledge.
I closed my eyes against the pain, willing it back into deepest pits of my brain and body. I could ill afford a breakdown at this point in time. A scream rent through the night and it broke me from my defeating ponderings. I opened my eyes to scan my immediate area looking for the danger or the reason behind the scream.
I found nothing and I cautiously began to move once more. A few steps later and another scream, more terrifying then the last, broke the silence of the night. It was coming from a distance in front of me. I perused the thoughts in the area looking for the source of the cries of pain. It took a minute or two, but when I was able to figure it out, I stopped dead in my tracks. Playing out in my mind was Victoria and she was in mid-feed and it was turning more and more into torture. I watched in horror as she broke the poor guys arm. I could hear the sickening crunch through his thoughts and seconds later another cry echoed in the air.
I was torn. Part of me wanted to rush to save this poor creature that did not deserve to suffer. But the other part thought this may be my only chance to sneak up on her and end this. I knew my father would try to save the man, even at the risk of letting Victoria slip away. My reasoning was he was already doomed to die. I could see the numerous bites she has already inflicted, leave him that way and he was bound to a damned existence or if I took mercy and killed him quickly he was still dead. Neither option was pleasant or more preferable in my eyes. The monster in me made a weak attempt at begging to join the mayhem. I batted him away and step up my pace.
I watched her and became sickened at the delight she took in playing with the man. The relish she took in every whimper and shriek was evident in the gleam in her eyes. I was less than three blocks away and when I turned the corner up head, I would be in her direct line of sight. I planned on running full tilt at her in the hopes of catching her unaware.
I took an unnecessary breath to calm the anxiety flying through my veins. My muscles coiled in preparation for a chase and a fight. I could smell the blood that was freely dripping from the many bites she had inflicted on him. My throat burned and venom flowed with the sweetness of the blood in the air. My lack of properly hunting was making this harder than it should be for me. But I be damned if I was going to let Victoria ruin eighty years of sacrifice in a moment such as this.
In a flash I was around the corner and barreling down the street. She looked up at my approach and let loose a wicked smile before she broke the guys neck and took off the down the street. I was not that far behind her and when I reached the street she darted down I could not see her. I kept running but after a few blocks I lost her scent.
I retraced my steps to where I saw her turn and flee and found where her scent suddenly disappeared. There was no obvious scent trail that led in any direction, it was like she vanished. Carefully and methodically I searched the area, smelling every surface I could. It took a few minutes, but I was able to find her trail as it went vertical. She had scaled a small building shortly from where she held the man captive. In a few bounds I was atop the building and back onto her trail as it leapt from rooftop to rooftop. She continued on this way for several miles before it lead back to the street level.
I wanted to scream my outrage at losing her yet again. I punched a wall in frustration and watched as a crack spider-webbed it way up the side. I mentally berated myself for my minutes of indecision. The man was collateral damage and I should have realized that straight away. There was no other outcome for him other than death and I let myself consider other options even when I knew there were none.
With a renewed focus and determination I continued on my way. I propelled myself faster and harder; I needed to end this. I was sick of her games and torment. There was a reason I was the fastest in my family and I was going to show her she would not escape me for much longer.
Hours after my failed confrontation her scent led me to Texas. The dawn was fast approaching and I was nowhere near a town. I followed her trail as far as I could before the first rays of the sun broke over the horizon. I spotted a few acres of trees and made a mad dash there to wait for cloud cover or the setting sun. While I waited, I pulled out my phone and using the GPS attempted to discover where I was. According to the map that was displayed I was between Dumas and Stinnett, Texas, near Lake Meredith. The nearest biggest city was Amarillo. According to the weather report that I pulled up, this area was looking at mostly sunny skies. I uttered a few choice swear words and threw my head back in frustration. Once again I cursed what I was and the cruelty of it all.
Seeing as I would be stuck in the shadows for several hours, I decided to search the wooded areas for hunting possibilities. I got lucky with a deer and two adult coyotes, I finally felt full for the first time in weeks. I sank down deep in the woods and curled around a tree to wait out the sun. With hours to fill stretched before me, I felt at a loss. What do I do to pass the time? I remembered Alice's words from earlier regarding the little girl, Ellie. I used my phone to check her Caring Bridge site to read the updates on her progress and prognosis.
Her bone marrow transplant went well; she is responding well to treatments and is in better spirits. The adoption was finalized just a few days earlier and the family could not be happier. I clicked on several of the pictures they took the day of the adoption and Ellie looked much better. Her hair was just starting to grow back in and the gauntness in her face and eyes was fading. Even in the pictures I could see the light in her eyes. It was mesmerizing. There was still a link on the site to donate to the medical fund and this time I used my own money. I knew that Carlisle used the family funds the last time, but this time I wanted it to come from me personally. After the fund transfer was completed I posted an anonymous message on her site:
Glad to hear of your amazing progress, many wishes that you will grow into a wonderful and beautiful girl. Take care of the light in your eyes.
It seemed awfully simplistic, but every word was true.
I contemplated calling my family, but I did not know what to say. I haven't really talked to anyone since I left. A few short calls to Alice and a couple simple emails and text messages didn't really count. But what would I say? I had much to atone for and it could not be done in a call. Although I was sure Emmett had long since forgiven me for my horrendous behavior the day I left, I needed to apologize in person. I needed him to hear how much I regretted my actions and that I meant no harm. But there was more than just Emmett I let down. There was Alice and my awful treatment of her and the harsh and untrue words that I had spoken. There was Esme and the awful lies I spoke to her. Then there was Carlisle; once again I let him down. I was a miserable excuse for a son. I could not see a way for me to repair all the damage I had caused. There was just too much.
The anxiety and guilt streaking through my veins had me pacing. I could not sit here and wallow. There was no time for that. Once the sun set I needed to be in the proper mental state to get back to finding Victoria. I ran the entire wooded area a few times but it was not enough to take the edge off the tension I felt. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration and dread. I hated having all this extra time on my hands.
A glance at the sky told me that sunset would be in less than two hours. I desperately wanted to pull out a few memories of my angel, just to spend time with her. I knew it was dangerous, but like I stated, I was desperate. I pulled out her note and stared at it through the plastic bag. Instantly I was placed back to the same day I got the letter. Emmett teased me endlessly, saying my face got all lovey-dovey. Jasper just sat and soaked up all the good emotions.
It's been too long since I felt this good. Thanks, Edward.
I nodded back to him and smiled. Emmett tried to take advantage of the small lapse in my concentration, but I heard his intentions seconds before he tried to jump on me. We ended up wrestling for a good forty-five minutes.
Later when I was back in the house I placed the note on my desk. My angel saw it the next day.
"Thank you so much for the wonderful note. It was very touching." My fingers once again traced the writing as she watched me. Her arms snaked around as she came up behind me.
"I just wanted to leave a piece of me with you while you were gone." The kiss we shared was tender and loving. I had never felt closer to her than I did on that day.
Although that memory was short and sweet, it was enough to cause the grief and pain to overwhelm me. Once again, my body was wracked by tearless sobs and I wrapped myself up tight. For the first time since I left I wondered if I did the right thing. Sophia's story was bouncing around in the back of my brain and doubts were leaking in all over the place. The crushing urge to go back to her consumed me and for a fraction of a second I gave credence to the notion.
"No, no, no," I chanted, rocking slowly back and forth. "I left her to protect her, too keep her human. " Over and over that became my mantra. I banished all thoughts of my love and struggled to function through the pain. The sun had set during my little pain fest and it was time to get moving. Victoria would not be wallowing in misery, so I couldn't allow mine to control me. Shakily I stood up; I took deep breaths just to clear my mind as best as I could. I placed the note in my one pocket and took the shred of shirt from the other. I inhaled deeply, letting the scent fill me. It brought clarity and focus back to me as I let the hunt for Victoria consume me once again.
Over the next few days I tracked Victoria all over Texas: Lubbock, Wichita Falls and Abilene. In each major city she fed and she let me find the bodies. Each was more hideously mutilated than the last. My stomach lurched when I would see how she carelessly left each body, not caring if a human would accidently discover them. Each time I would make it look like a struggle had taken place and left an anonymous call to the police. I wanted the victims' families to have some closure.
After each call I would find my anger and frustration at my inability to stop her to rise higher and higher. I would swear that, at times, I could see their bloodstains on my hands and it chilled me. Although I knew, rationally, I was not to blame for Victoria's choice to feed off humans; I did feel as if there was no need for the senseless violence she displayed. Deep down I knew it was all directed at me. She may not have known the extent in which it bothered me, but she knew it would get to me on some level. Each time I came across another of her victims, it only propelled me further. It gave intensity to my searching that I did not know I possessed. I felt an urgency to stop and destroy Victoria once and for all.
Maybe it was because I was so hyper-aware and concentrating so hard on following her trail that I did realize where I was or what I was stepping into. Her trail was heavily concentrated just outside the Dallas-Fort Worth area. She had been back and forth this way many times. Her scent was thick. That made it even more difficult to find the freshest trail. So I was resuming a grid like search, in the hopes of finding a trace of her. I opened my mind, in the desperate hope that I would see her through someone's thoughts. But in a heavily populated area such as this, it was difficult to sift through the vast number of voices in my head. I was not used to such noise and found it increasingly hard to focus. Periodically I would have to block out the noise just to be able to think clearly.
It was one of those times when I was blocking as I was searching a suburb of Dallas that I ran into trouble. I was concentrating on a trail I thought was newer when a voice broke through the silence of the night.
"Who are you and what in the hell are you doing in my territory?"
My eyes snapped open to find a rather large vampire standing in front of me. He was my same height but built similar to Emmett. He had multiple scars criss-crossing his bare arms and I spotted several on his neck. His eyes were bright crimson indicating he had recently fed, and well at that. He looked to be in his early twenties when he was changed, but I was unable to determine how long he had been a vampire. His thoughts were a snarled mess of anger and suspicion.
This little punk vamp boy thinks he can come in here and claim some of my coven's territory? He's gonna have to go through me. He let go a soft chuckle at that thought. He knew there were others that would defend the area if I was lucky enough to get past him.
Knowing what I did of Jasper's history, I knew I was on dangerous ground. The southern vampires were fiercely protective of their feeding grounds and were loathe in sharing them with others. Even though the creating of newborn armies was forbidden, it still happens, just on a much smaller and less noticeable scale. This one before me was a guard. He patrolled the outer area, looking for any sign of a threat to their territory.
All this processed in my mind under two seconds, and I quickly answered him.
"My name is Edward and I was just passing through. I am trying to locate someone and I followed her scent here." I wanted to let him know right off the bat I did not want to steal his territory, plus I was hoping he may have spotted Victoria as she passed through. I kept my hands loose and by my sides, my posture was not crouched defensively and my voice was soft. I did not want to give him any indication that I would become hostile.
"Just passing through, huh?" I watched as his eyes roamed over my clothes which were incredibly cleaner that his own. He noticed the bag slung over my shoulder and lastly he settled on my eyes.
Wonder what is with the freaky eyes? "What's with the eyes? Who are ya looking for?"
"My eyes are this color because I only feed on animals. I am looking for a red-headed female, answers to the name Victoria." I would offer him as little information as possible. I just wanted to get out of this situation and back on her trail.
"On animals? That's disgusting." His thoughts were much more colorful and just as negative. I fought to keep my emotions in check. It was proving difficult seeing as how they had yet to be controlled since the night I strolled down memory lane. My fingers twitched, wanting to curl into fists.
Ignoring his words and thoughts, I questioned him again on Victoria. "Have you seen her? Her trail leads right through here. I have part of her shirt, maybe you caught her scent." I motioned to my pocket in reference to her scent. As I was reaching for it he spoke.
"What do you want her for?" Just then I caught a fleeting glimpse of Victoria in his thoughts. He had seen her. Now I was even more impatient to get going. But first I needed every bit of information this guy had.
Unable to keep a hint of irritation out of my voice, I answered him. "It's between her and me, but if you need to know, she took something of mine. I don't like those who steal from me." His eyes tightened at the tone of my voice and I watched as his body started to slightly twitch. He was more used to being the aggressive one in any situation.
Smug little punk. Think he can take that attitude with me? I ought to show him some manners. A missing limb would help.
The direction of his thoughts was starting to grate on my nerves. There was no need for this to escalate, but he was bound and determined to regain the upper hand. I should proceed with caution, but like they say, the bet laid intentions…
"What are you gonna give me in exchange for information?" His muscles began to tense, his posture was leaning more towards aggression and his voice was low and menacing.
The words were out of my mouth before I even thought them, "Well, since I doubt you know anything useful, I'm not going to give you anything." My voice was just as low and deep as his. My hands were claws and I narrowed my eyes at him.
"I don't think I like your tone. You have no clue where you are and the danger you are in. You are just a wet behind the ears baby vampire, and you're way over your head."
I couldn't help the snort that escaped. I found his words comical. I knew then that all pretense of civility had evaporated.
"Didn't anyone ever teach you to never judge a book by its cover?"
I knew my snipping question would goad him into action, but it would also make it easier for me to pick his brain. I'll never fully understand why I continued to bait him into fighting. Maybe it had been too long since I truly fought. Maybe it was because I needed an outlet for the raging emotions coursing through my body or maybe I just wanted to inflict a little pain. Whatever the reason, I failed to keep my mouth shut.
"I may look young, but you have no idea who you're messing with. So why don't you answer my question and I won't have to prove how wrong you are about me." I couldn't help the taunting smile that followed.
That must have been the last straw for he flew at me, screaming the whole time. It was easy to dodge his obvious charge, even if it wasn't telegraphed in his thoughts. As he flew by me, I gripped his arm tightly and threw him several hundred feet. He landed gracefully on his feet and charged again. I slid under him as he leapt and I landed a kick to his lower back which sent him sprawling.
"Told you looks could be deceiving. So why don't you just answer my question." I sprang up to face him and we both slinked into our crouches. His thoughts were jumbled, but I was able to gather that he talked to Victoria but nothing else.
I let him get closer enjoying the use of my power and muscles. It was exhilarating. "You got lucky. Let me show you how a real man fights." The sneer on his face and the obvious insinuation that I was not man were meant to intimidate me. All they really did was anger me even further. We crept closer and then he began to throw punches. I was able to doge the first few easily and I wanted to smile at that. The next few I blocked and was able to land a few punches with my own. The smile was getting closer and I knew it would piss him off.
His thoughts were getting less and less guarded and I was growing a bit weary of trying to throw the fight. I sensed that he had the information that I needed and nothing was going to stop me from getting it. I threw a few well placed punches and I simultaneously kicked his feet from under him. He landed on his back but sprung up just as quickly. We both continued to punch and kick, me landing more on him than he did on me.
His focus was so much on me and his next moves, I knew if I started to question him, his brain would be easy to pick. "You know, you could avoid the embarrassment of losing to a 'baby vampire' if you would just answer my question. Have you seen a red head named Victoria?"
I spun him around when he tried to punch my head and I landed a warning bite on his arm before I pushed him away. His thoughts when I said her name opened wide up. She had passed through here a few times and he talked to her each time she did. The knowledge alone made me end this fight for good.
"I ain't telling you anything!" His bravado in the face of possibly losing was ridiculous. Maybe it was time to let him in on my little secret.
I watched as he lumbered after me and tried to land another kick. I grabbed his leg and flipped him in the air. Like my fight with Emmett, I met him before he fell and was able to pluck him out of the air and throw him on the ground, face down and I twisted his arms behind his back and held down his lower body.
"You have already told me most of what I needed to know. You see, I can read your mind and that is how I know you will not win this fight. So tell me what you and she talked about and I may let you walk away from this, intact." I stressed the last word, letting him know I had no qualms about ripping him to shreds.
I could see the insult he was able to hurl at me. I pulled his arms tighter, "I would not piss me off if I were you and what you were thinking would certainly make me very angry. Tell me what you and Victoria talked about. I saw from your memories that you talked to her, several times. This is your last warning before I start ripping."
I should have learned by now to never underestimate the stupidity of people when they are faced with an impossible situation. He was actually thinking he could get free. I swallowed my laugh. Without warning I ripped his arm off and threw it a good five hundred feet. Luckily, that was enough of a reminder I was in control.
"She said someone was tailing her and she needed to get away. She said she was gonna head to Rio and she was gonna swim. She thought it would throw them off her trail." I could see he was telling the truth.
"See, now that wasn't too hard, was it?" I leaned closer to his next and I could hear his frantic thoughts as he was certain I was going to rip his head off. "Too bad you did not learn your lesson sooner; you would have had an easier time of piecing yourself back together."
With that I ripped both legs off and threw them in completely different directions and opposite of where his arm was. It would take him some time to crawl to his appendages and lick them back on.
In a flash I was headed towards the airport in Dallas and I was making reservations for the first available flight to Rio. I did not let myself think about the fact that she would get there before I would, or that I would have to find her scent once again. All I focused on was that I knew where she was headed and it was more than enough.
A/N: We are headed to Rio next.. are you excited? I am! Please leave me a review..they really make my day and I could use a few smiles! If you want.. I have another story I started, check it out.. its a lighter story than Hidden Moon. Please... click and leave me a review- I give teasers to all that do!