Brangelina vs. Ron
Ron Weasley, one-third of the Golden Trio, is reportedly being sued by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The reason? A lone penis. Ron recently named his wang "Brangelina", which was copywrited in 2006. The original Brangelina is taking legal action against the penis. Their only words on the matter was this statement from Angelina: "He, like, stole our name! And gave it to a penis! It's like being violated. You could never understand the pain of some guy naming his cock after you!" Ron's penis was not available for comment, but Harry Potter, a.k.a Mr Sexcellence, protested the suit. "I know Ron, and I really know Ron's penis. There is only one name that Ron would ever give his wang, and that name is… /dramatic pause/ … Johnny. Actually, it's Mary Jane, but I've always wanted to name mine that… just wanted to get that out there. Johnny's much sexier, anyways; it screams, 'I'm a bad, bad boy.' /licks lips/"