Evangeline and Tora spent most of the day in bed. Though Evangeline claimed she needed Tora to keep her company, it was Tora who needed Evangeline's presence. Her brothers and sisters were more likely to leave her alone in their parents' room, anyway.

Evangeline's nausea returned, causing her to run abruptly to the washroom at least once an hour. But still, she never reached the point of being sick. At one point she was on her knees begging to be, desperately wanting the sensation to go away. And though she wouldn't voice this concern to anyone, she wondered why she wasn't able to throw up. She'd done so in the past when she felt much less queasy. She tried not to think too much about it, Mrs. Blatherwick's voice echoing in her mind about how overdue she is for a chat with the midwife.

"Were you sick that time?" Tora asked when Evangeline reentered the bedroom with a slight shine of tears in her eyes.

"No," she whined. "I don't know why I keep bothering to get up. It's pointless."

"What if you ate something vile tasting? Would that make you sick? Like that time Chrissy got sick after eating brussel sprouts."

"I'm not sure. With my luck it would only make me more nauseous."

"Then maybe you're trying too hard?"

Evangeline raised an eyebrow. "It doesn't seem like it should be one of those things."

With a shrug, Tora said, "You run to the washroom whenever you get that lurchy feeling. Maybe if you don't you'll—"

"Get sick all over the floor and quilt," she finished.

"Could be worth it if you're bothered enough."

Laying back against the pillows, Evangeline said, "What's frustrating is that it comes and goes. I felt all right this morning and I felt all right last night. But the night before I was awake every few hours to the upset and then most of the morning. If it was predictable I could do more than lay around all day."

"I'm glad you're not feeling well today. I mean, not that I want you to feel ill, but I'm glad it's not a complete lie that you want to stay in bed."

Evangeline smiled and wrapped her arm around Tora, pulling her to her side. "How are you feeling, speaking of which? Any pain?"

She shook her head. "Not pain. More uncomfortable."

"Discomfort is better than pain. I'm glad to hear it."

"Does it hurt you?"

"Now and then. I was a couple of years older than you when I first got it and even then not much of one compared to say now."

Tora hushed her, sneaking a peek at the door. "Quieter. They might hear you."

After apologizing, Evangeline continued. "I was so undernourished that sometimes it would go away for months at a stretch. Once I was older it became more predictable, especially when I had steady meals. I'd say since I started working here I've pretty much known what to expect every month." She looked down at her belly. "But I guess not enough…"

"Are you upset that you're having a baby?"

The question shouldn't have shocked her as much as it did. "Certainly not."

"You've mentioned twice today that you didn't mean to become pregnant."

"I didn't, but not meaning to and not wanting to are very different things."

"How so?" Tora questioned.

Evangeline pursed her lips and contemplated her words before speaking. "We tried to put off having a baby, yes, but we've always known it's a possibility."

"And you really don't regret it?"

"Not a bit."

Awkwardly, Tora said, "You've seemed sad lately."

"Have I?"

She nodded.

Seeing no point in lying, Evangeline said, "Your father and I probably would have done better handling this if we had prepared ourselves. It's easy to talk about the possibility without thinking it true."

"If you both knew you weren't ready, why even risk it?"

"You'll understand when you're older."

Tora rolled her eyes. "Grown-ups always say that."

Tugging on Tora's chin, Evangeline guided her gaze in her direction. "Don't be in too much of a hurry to understand everything. You may be a little more grown-up today but you're still young. You're fortunate to have a prolonged childhood. You don't want to waste it worrying and wondering what the future has in store."

Crossing her arms and forcing her head away again, she replied, "I can't help it. This has been worse than I imagined it would be. I need to know how much worse it gets."

"I can't promise you that bearing and birthing a child isn't rough, but otherwise marriage is wonderful if it's with the right person."

"Then how come you and Papa argue all the time?"

"It's the same idea as the way you fight with your brothers and sisters. You spend so much time together that sometimes you drive each other to your wit's end."

Tora sighed. "I get that. It just seems like you and Papa have bad arguments. Enough that you sometimes sleep upstairs or shout at each other."

Now was Evangeline's turn to let out a breath. "Me and your father… we have a tricky situation. He misses your mother terribly. Since being pregnant, I'm afraid I don't always handle that well."

"You mean you're jealous?"

"In a way," she said, not believing she was actually saying this to one of the children. "It's not easy living in someone's shadow, especially someone as wonderful as your mother."

Tora looked down at her lap. "I miss her, too… but I love you also."

Leaning over, Evangeline kissed Tora's head. "I know you do. And I love you, too."

"You're not angry with me for saying earlier that I wish she was here, are you?"

"Of course not. I understand."

"Then why do you and Papa fight about it?"

"There's a lot of emotions that build up and surround it. Sometimes it all comes out at once. It's not always about all that, though. A lot of times we just bicker. Other times it comes from the outside, us being of different classes and all."

"Why is that such a troublesome thing for people?" Tora questioned. "Like Aunt Adelaide. Why does she care who Papa married when she was the one to pressure him in the first place? So long as you both and we kids are happy, so should everyone else."

"I wish I had a good answer for you. All I know is that a lot of people in a higher social standing look down upon servants as rot."

"That isn't right."

"No, it's not."

"Were you treated that poorly?"

"I had it better than others — worse than some."

"How so?"

Evangeline laughed at the irony. "You and your father are filled with the same wonderings. He and I were talking a bit about this last night."

"How come?"

"Just happened to come up in conversation."

"What happened to you then?" Tora pushed.

"It doesn't matter anymore. It's nothing you ever need to worry about. I'm here now. I couldn't ask for a better life."

"Really?"

"Really," she assured.

. . .

Cedric went straight upstairs when he came home from work. He'd been in a hurry to leave after breakfast and spent the remainder of the day feeling bad about it. He wasn't sure how to react to Tora's situation aside from following Evangeline's cues. He'd been hoping to have a moment with her alone to make sense of it all. When Agatha died there had been passing thoughts on how he would handle raising the girls but had told himself those issues would arrive much later. After all, vital discussions had already been had with Tora and he with Simon. Lily and Eric were a long way off. Besides, Eric was likely more knowledgeable than all of the adults in the house put together.

He couldn't think of a time he'd been more grateful for Evangeline (aside from her agreeing to marry him for fear of losing the house and the children). How she could ever think she was letting him down he would never understand. She understood instantly. Had it not been for her, he would have had to face a humiliating situation for both Tora and himself. And as far as he could tell, she'd managed to enforce the tact Tora so desperately wanted. That wasn't easy in a house full of kids.

According to Chrissie, Evangeline and Tora had been camped out in the bedroom for most of the day. He was glad of this mostly for Evangeline's sake. Apparently they'd reached the point where crises were going to overlap each other — as though one after another hadn't been exhausting enough. He was worried about her after the last couple of nights. Between her nausea and the bad memories he'd unintentionally brought to light, she was having a more difficult time than anyone.

He opened the door and peeked his head into the room. Given how quiet everything was, he wasn't surprised to see them both fast asleep. He smiled, his heart swelling with love at the image. He contemplated whether or not to wake them for dinner, at least Tora. Ultimately, he decided they both needed their rest. Spending another minute in the doorway, he then backed out again slowly.

He brought up a tray a couple of hours later, Mrs. Blatherwick lamenting that Evangeline hadn't eaten a thing all day. He brought Tora up a heated dinner plate. For Evangeline, boiled carrots and toast once again. At least it was something.

He knelt down beside Evangeline, brushing his fingertips against her hairline as he bent down and softly kissed her lips. She only stirred a little. He chuckled, always endeared by the sight of her sleeping. He slid his hand down to her shoulder where he gave her a gentle shake until her eyes opened.

She smiled once her eyes focused on him. "What time is it?"

"Past seven."

"Oh, dear…"

"You needed the rest."

Sitting up, she nodded. "That I did."

"How's Tora?"

Turning her head, she suddenly remembered she was there. "Tired, too, evidently."

Cedric moved so he was sitting down on the mattress. In a whisper, he said, "I haven't been able to let go of the pang of worry I felt when she came to get you this morning. Had she not been standing I would have been sure her appendix burst or something. I don't remember seeing her so upset since she was… good heavens, Chrissie's age. Not even when Agatha died."

Gently touching Tora's hand, Evangeline agreed. "The price of being the eldest girl, I expect."

"It makes me sad. Have I forced her to grow up too quickly?"

"She was stoic even before Agatha passed. I remember once she ended up with a massive gash on her leg after falling from a tree. No tears or anything, only apologies for getting spots of blood around."

"I remember the wound, but I must have been at work when it happened."

"I believe so. It was the middle of the day."

He sighed. "I feel like I've missed out on a lot these last few years. Even before everything. I feel like all I've done is work."

"You haven't had a choice."

"Still, you and Mrs. Blatherwick came to know the children better than myself. Hell, Nanny McPhee knew them better before she'd even set foot in the house."

"Mrs. Blatherwick and I are here all day. We know them differently, is all. As for Nanny McPhee, that's not a fair comparison. She was… how do I word it?"

"A witch?"

"You've spoken to Eric."

"Is there any other explanation?"

Evangeline shrugged. "I don't much like the term. When I hear 'witch' I think of dark magic and potions. True, she resembled what might be found in storybooks, but not in the end. She was more… like an angel of some sort. Or perhaps we've all gone mad and we imagined the whole thing."

"I highly doubt the latter," he said with a laugh, though upon further thought, it didn't seem fair to fully rule out that possibility.

"All that she did for us was good, even when it came at a cost."

"I think you got the worst of it. I can't imagine having to spend weeks with Aunt Adelaide."

"I can't imagine having to sit through one tea with that dreadful Mrs. Quickly."

"You're right. I had it worse."

It was her turn to laugh as she reached over and tweaked his arm. Then turning serious again, she changed the subject. "Speaking of Aunt Adelaide… the children have been beginning to question when we're going to tell her. I think they're a bit worried."

"Worried? About what?"

"The money," she said with some hesitation. "They saw how upset she was at the wedding. Aside from the monthly allowance, we haven't heard from her since."

"I've written on occasion," he said with a sigh. "Truth be told, I haven't wanted to think about telling her."

"Neither have I."

"Do you think it's necessary? Think about it, she's so uninvolved in the children's lives that she believed you were my daughter. Will she really notice one more? Especially when she's not paid us another visit?"

"I don't want to lie to her again. Yes, she's insufferable, but I feel that I do owe her a debt of gratitude. Even though she thought I was someone else, she still took me in and gave me the start of an education."

"Was it really so important to you?"

"How would you feel if you didn't know how to read or write?"

He paused, not wanting to say the wrong thing. "… You were teaching yourself, though. Lily was helping you."

"Yes, but what with everything else? It was a chance I never thought I'd get."

"I never realized just how much that meant to you," he said almost inaudibly. "The way you've spoken since then, I thought it was an interest because you thought you weren't worthy enough for me."

"You were the push I needed, though it was still quite impossible. But it was something."

"I'm sorry I took you away from it."

"Don't be," she said in earnest. "Her plans for me were bigger than mine. I'm happy where I am. I'm glad I can read. I'll admit there is a part of me that would still love to learn more about different subjects, maybe permanently lose this accent—"

"I love the way you speak."

With genuine surprise, she questioned, "Why?"

"I don't know… it's you."

"It gives away my class."

"When have I given a damn about your class?"

"It doesn't bother you that people whisper about us?"

"Who's whispering?"

"People in town… everywhere we go. There's no hiding that socially I was never meant to marry you."

"That's no one's business but ours. You know that."

She sighed. "All I'm saying is that I wouldn't mind finding a voice that suits my new role in the house better. Although, I can't say I'd like to speak how Aunt Adelaide taught me."

"Please don't." It was a joke, but also quite serious.

"That aside, I don't want the pressure of living another lie. I barely slept I was so sure she'd find me out. I know she likely wouldn't discover the baby on her own, but the news will somehow travel back to her. There will be the Christening and all."

"Quite right," he said in defeat.

Nudging his bottom with her foot, she said, "I'm not ready to tell anyone yet. I just needed to ask and have some kind of answer prepared for the kids."

"Assure them that they have no need to worry."

"Can we though?" she asked hesitantly. "She's so unpredictable. Who's to say she won't make another kind of ultimatum?"

"She has little leverage now. The excuse was always that the children were out of control. That's not the case now. She said I needed to marry and I did. It's not our fault she didn't specify who was 'suitable', nor was there any rule about not having more children."

"The way she spoke…"

When she didn't continue, Cedric made a rolling motion with his hand. "Go on. She spoke about me to you?"

"She thought you were my father," she said, growing more uncomfortable. Where the thought had depressed her at the time, it made her feel uncomfortable now. "She only spoke matter of factly."

"About…?"

"Passing comments and all. She had it in her mind that you'd marry an older woman, presumably past childbearing years. She anticipated there being stepchildren but expected them to be able to 'tame' the others."

Cedric shook his head with a huff. "She pays no mind to us and yet sticks her nose into all of our personal matters."

"I shouldn't have told you."

"It was easy enough to assume."

"Well," she breathed, wanting to end the conversation, "we have time yet."

"I'll tell her in a month or so. After dealing with her reaction, everyone else should seem simple."

"I suppose it's too much to expect anyone to be happy for us."

"A few people will. I'm looking forward to getting the news out at work. It's been difficult keeping that to myself. I'm there all day. My mind wanders."

"Knowing what I do about Mr. Jowels and Wheen, I suspect they'll pick up on it sooner than later."

"If not already," he laughed.

"Would be good for a laugh if I stop by and see if they notice anything. I feel as though I look a bit different even if not necessarily pregnant."

"Yes, a bit," he said as he looked at her from head to toe, though it was useless given she was under the covers, "but maybe it's because I'm allowed to see all of you."

Nervously looking beside her, Evangeline said in a hush, "Tora's here."

"She's fast asleep," he chuckled. "Although, we should wake her. Her dinner's probably gotten cold with our chatting."

"I hate to… she was up half the night."

"She'll be up again if we don't wake her."

Giving in, she touched the girl's shoulder and shook gently. "Tora, sweetheart…"

Tora let out a soft and sleepy moan.

"There's a plate for you," Cedric said.

At the sound of his voice, she opened her eyes. "Papa? You're home?"

"I've been home for a while. It's after seven."

"I fell asleep!" she panicked. She stood quickly and ran out of the room.

"Your dinner's in here!" he called after her.

"She's going to be antsy for a few days," Evangeline said. "She'll settle down."

"I feel so helpless. I hate seeing her upset."

"You quietly being there for her this morning was the most help she needed."

"That's nothing compared to what you've done for her."

"I'm in a better position to help her," she reminded. "She'll probably be taking it the hardest. Lily will be able to go to her if she doesn't want to come to me. Then the others will follow."

"Good heavens, losing one of my little girls is enough for one day. I can't think of the other three."

"Tora's still your little girl. That's what's upset her most. She's afraid this means it's the end of her childhood. Even before today she's been worried you or Aunt Adelaide is going to want to marry her off."

"You corrected her, didn't you?"

"Of course I did."

"Good. I want all my children under one roof for a while longer. Especially with an eighth on the way."

Clasping her hands over her stomach, Evangeline said, "I'd like that very much, too."

. . .

Behind on his letter writing and on Evangeline's insistence, Cedric excused himself after reading to Chrissy while Evangeline put the children to bed that night. Though he'd hesitated, he was glad for a little time to decompress. Unfortunately, his reprieve screeched to a halt when a very drawn Evangeline came back to the bedroom.

"You look exhausted. Trouble with the children?"

"No, they're all fine." She sat on the edge of the bed and let out a breath. "It's the queasiness more than anything. Snuck up on me again."

"How'd you manage it today?"

"It comes and goes. I had a rough time of it this afternoon. Poor Tora kept trying to figure a remedy."

Kneeling on the mattress, Cedric crawled behind her to undo the buttons of her dress. "I think you've earned a hot bath."

She smiled but shook her head. "I'm much too tired for the hassle."

"I can boil the water for you."

Turning her head, she replied, "You're a dear, but maybe some other time."

Detecting a note of sadness in her voice, he stopped and leaned around to look at her face. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing. I'm not feeling too well at the moment."

He sat next to her. "That's not your 'I feel ill' voice. Something's eating at you."

Undoing the last couple of buttons on her own to busy her hands, she said, "It's just something Tora said when I was tucking her in."

"What was it?" he asked with a hint of hesitation.

"Just that she's worried I'm going to love the baby so much that I'll care less about them. I told her that wouldn't be the case."

"That's what she's thinking of after today?"

"I think it's come from my being able to be there for her and thinking of Agatha. She's afraid of losing another mother even if only emotionally."

Cedric hummed, unable to think of an appropriate response.

"It's not that she's worried that's bothering me so much. It just got me thinking that what if I'm notable to handle a baby as well as the older children?"

"You've been around babies before. You managed it with Aggie."

"Yes, but she wasn't mine. I helped you and Tora, really."

"You're marvelous with the children. You must know that."

She shrugged.

"If you're so worried, we can always hire a nanny. Even if it's temporary."

"I hope it won't come to that. No one could replace Nanny McPhee."

"I know," he said as he took her hand. "But she wasn't just a nanny now, was she?"

She shook her head. "The last thing we'll need then is for the children to start with their antics again."

"We're quite a ways away from then anyway. Get through the morning sickness first. Besides, the midwife will stick around for a while after the birth to help take care of things. You should tell her your concerns next time you see her."

"Yeah…"

He raised an eyebrow as her hand tensed against him. "She won't bite."

"I know."

"… Evangeline… you have spoken to her, haven't you?"

She looked down at her lap with pursed lips.

"Does she know you're pregnant at all?"

"We aren't telling anyone yet…" It was a weak answer, she knew, but it was all she could think to say.

"The midwife isn't 'anyone'. You need to tell her."

"What's the hurry? You just said yourself the baby isn't coming for a while."

"She's here to help you prepare and answer questions."

"My questions can wait."

"God forbid you have a miscarriage… how were you planning on handling it?"

"Mrs. Blatherwick is here."

"She's the cook. That's not her job."

"She's my friend," she snipped. "I know she'd help me."

"I'm sure she would," he corrected, standing to pace, "but you'll need someone better equipped to help you. I mean, what if something happened and you…"

This genuinely hadn't crossed her mind, but she said nothing.

"You've been lying to me, that's what's got me the most concerned. This isn't naivety. You knew better."

"You never outright asked me if I've been in contact with her until now."

"No, but whenever I've brought her up you've played along."

"I'm allowed to be scared, too, Cedric."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Evangeline stood. "It means that I'm not ready to take on one more crisis. If I've got to deal with everyone fearing for my life, I need to convince myself that everything is going along fine. I don't know if there's any bad news that she can tell me at this point, but if there is, I don't want to know. I can't know."

"You're being irresponsible."

"I'm doing what I need to do for myself. I'm obviously going to tell her eventually. I'm not stubborn enough to try and deliver the baby on my own, but so long as I have no concerns, I don't see the need to bring someone in to tell me otherwise. I can't take one more worry."

"Because you don't know what could happen! You need to tell her tomorrow."

"Tora needs my attention right now. I'm not going to have someone come calling."

"This isn't a social engagement. Mrs. Davies is like part of the family."

"Part of your family."

"I beg your pardon?"

Evangeline crossed her arms. "I've only known her as your maid. Not only am I going to be under scrutiny, but she's also one more person who's going to fear for my life. I'm not up for it right now. I've been to the doctor again. It's not as though I've done nothing."

With an exacerbated sigh, Cedric sunk down onto the vanity stool. After a few moments, he said, "I know I haven't made this an easy time for you and I'm sorry, but you still need to talk to Mrs. Davies. I need to be able to call on her if there's an emergency. It isn't fair to her to be woken in the middle of the night for someone she didn't know was pregnant."

"I'm tired of thinking of emergencies or illness or death." She pulled her dress over her head as she made her way over to the dressing screen and angrily crumpled it up and threw it on the floor. From behind the screen, she said, "I used to think a baby would be a blessing. I never thought I'd come to resent it."

Though it probably shouldn't have, this stunned Cedric. "You… really mean that?"

When Tora had asked this question earlier, she hadn't had to think twice. Now, the words were flying out of her mouth concerning her as much as Cedric. Nevertheless, her anger prevailed. Perhaps this was the truth.

"What do you expect?" she replied. A few seconds later, she came back into the open dressed in her nightgown. "The moments of peace are few and far between. Even then, I'm left to assume that you're leaving things unsaid. I accept what it is, but you can't fault me for getting frustrated from time to time. Talking to Mrs. Davies has been one thing I've had a say in. Now that's gone, too. I didn't plan on getting pregnant. I would have liked time to wrap my mind around all of these things. Maybe if you had, too, you wouldn't be on the brink of a nervous breakdown."

"You and I…" he stopped to stand again and gather his words. "It's made us closer, don't you think?"

"Yes, and that's been about the only thing worthwhile so far. Even then we've in part been brought closer because of the emotion surrounding it. We've had our worst arguments and have seen each other at our lowest."

"That's marriage. That doesn't necessarily have anything to do with pregnancy."

"It does for us. We wouldn't have had half the conversations we've had about Agatha if not for your fear around the baby."

"What's done is done. All of it. We can't go back and avoid conception."

"I know that." Pushing past him, she climbed into bed. "I can still say that I resent it all sometimes. We'd all be happier."

"That's not true."

"Tell me how anything is better right now? And you can't use us being more intimate as your answer.

"Why can't that be my answer?" he scowled.

"Because that doesn't last. And what good is it in the long run? We'll end up repeating this mess and start all over again."

"I hate when you say things like that as though we're talking about a puppy and not our child. The baby caused none of this mess. We caused it ourselves."

"You can't deny that if I lost the baby tomorrow we would feel some sense of relief. Yes, we'd mourn the loss but the worry of leaving the children motherless and you without a wife would be eliminated."

"Do you hear yourself? Take it from someone who's been through it before, losing a child is a devastating matter planned or not. It's shameful that you're thinking otherwise."

"I'm not saying I wish it to happen!" she defended. "I'm just saying that it should not be such a miserable experience for all those involved that it gets to the point where that's the only way out."

"All I said was that you need to call the midwife! To avoid further complications!"

"And all I've said in reply is that I'm not ready! But of course it doesn't matter how I feel about it. To keep you happy I must do whatever you demand."

"Knock that off," he grumbled. "Don't make another issue out of it."

"It's all part of the issue and we've been over it a dozen times. I've surrendered myself to our circumstances but that doesn't mean it doesn't overwhelm me now and again. I couldn't even come to you when I first suspected I was pregnant I was so terrified. Given how much I've had to set aside, I don't think this one request is unreasonable. I'm not ready to talk to the midwife. I will do so in my own time."

"I hear what you're saying but you're failing to see the whole picture. If you don't want her here at the house, fine, but she needs to be told so she can be prepared, too. I will tell her myself if that spares you the reaction you fear."

Her eyes brimmed with tears that she violently blinked back. She'd been fighting the quivers in her voice successfully. Crumbling now would make the effort useless. "No one is telling her until I say so."

"I'm serious, Evangeline. She needs to know."

"I'm serious! I need to do this in my own time."

"You're really willing to risk your health and the baby's to make a point? It's irresponsible."

"If I lose the baby now there's nothing to be done. I don't see it endangering me."

"But you don't know. That's the risk."

"And stressing me like this isn't its own risk? You were the one to comment on how tired I look. I told you I'm not feeling well. I want to go to sleep!"

"I'm not losing another wife! I won't say another word about it if you'll just contact her!"

"We both know that's not true. And if you were to manage it you really would wind up with an ulcer."

"Don't start this again."

"Not so fun when the attention is turned on you, is it?"

"Enough! These are two entirely different situations."

"That both end in one of us fearing losing the other."

"If you want to avoid an ulcer, bloody write to Mrs. Davies. Then I can take comfort in knowing someone's there to watch over you."

She scoffed. "You've thought this whole time she's been coming around and you were still upset."

"Would you rather I come home and knock you around instead of being concerned for your well-being?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, the previous night returned to his memory. Moving to her side, he sat down on the bed and touched her arm.

"I didn't mean to say that… I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry. Really I am."

Though her suppressed tears had become much more evident, they didn't roll down her cheeks. They pooled in her eyes which could only give him an empty stare in response."

"Say something," Cedric begged. He wouldn't have preferred a reprimand over this silence. "Please. Anything."

"Goodnight," she said in a dry whisper. Turning away from him, she pulled the blankets up well past her shoulders.

He stayed where he was for a few minutes desperately hoping she'd face him again. He watched as she gripped the sheets and the unevenness of her breathing. At a loss, he eventually stood and readied for bed himself.