A/N: Hello all! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I found it quite hard to write and for that I blame Matt Smith's wonderful acting; the way he moves from one emotion to the next very quickly and somehow makes it believable...well, that was difficult to write down. I hope I did him justice!

This is the last diary chapter and the entry is only a teeny part of it.

As always, thanks to my fabulous reviewers: padmay97, Bad Dog No Biscuit, Abigailmaryjanesimpson, MayFairy, ObessiveBigTimeRushFan, chibiwolfgurl, DancingQueen411 and Brownbug! Enjoy!

The Diary: Twenty One Months

Amy stayed silent, realising that perhaps she was out of line, that it wasn't her place to ask this of him. Had something dreadful happened that he had pushed to the back of his mind? Had she gone too far?

"How much do you know?" The Doctor suddenly bellowed, making Amy and Rory jump.

"Just what she wrote in here." Amy held up the diary. The Doctor stared at it.

"Where did you find that?"

Amy said nothing; she knew he'd be angry if she told him the truth. Rory was looking at her with wide eyes, like he'd already guessed.

"Where?" The Doctor pushed again.

"In her room."

"In her room?" He repeated quietly. "In her room? Her room. Not yours." He charged up the steps towards her, Rory hurriedly followed, ready to cool things down if need be. The Doctor stood inches away from Amy and stared at her, silent and dangerous. Amy at last met his gaze. When she looked into his eyes, a pang of guilt shot through her so strong it hurt. She had never seen so much pain in his eyes; they were dark and shining with tears he was too angry to shed.

"Why were you in there? How did you get in there? That room is locked."

"It was the only door I couldn't open." Amy replied quietly. When the Doctor was like this, she was a little afraid of him. It didn't happen very often but when he was like this, steely and cold, she knew hot, bubbling rage was just beneath the surface. Behind the Doctor, Rory was also looking wary and confused.

"How did you open it?"

"The T.A.R.D.I.S. let me in."

"She wouldn't." He said quickly. "Don't lie to me Amy."

"I'm not! Please, it's the truth! How else could I have got in? Doctor, why is this such a big thing? Why are you so angry?"

The Doctor didn't reply. He stared at her for a long moment before turning on his heel, going back down the steps and fiddling with the console.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" Rory asked, following him back down.

"I'm taking you to a Pleasure Planet."

"Why?" The engine whirred.

"Because I don't want to see you right now. I can't look at you. Either of you. Just go."

"You're leaving us here?" Amy asked, her voice faltering.

The Doctor shook his head. "No. I wouldn't leave you." He paused as though he was regretting his own morality. "I just can't see you now. You've made me so..." He trailed off and gave a bitter laugh. "Just go. Have fun for the day and don't you dare come back here until its dark." He turned and murmured, "Don't come back until I've calmed down."

Rory and Amy hesitated, both unsure of what was the right thing to do. Was it right to leave him like this on his own? They neared the front door both confused.

"Doctor – " Amy began.

"Go!" He didn't turn around.

Rory pulled on her arm and opened the door. "Amy. Amy, I think we should go."

She nodded, took one last look at the Doctor's back and slid out of the door, closing it with a snap. She stood hand in hand with Rory, neither speaking. She was listening for the whirr of the T.A.R.D.I.S. taking off but it never came. The Doctor was true to his word: he would not leave them.

The Pleasure Planet was incredible, full of exotic alien species, foods and games but they couldn't enjoy it. Half way around the market, Rory pulled on Amy's hand.

"I can't enjoy this! Not without him here making stupid comments and finding us some trouble, anyway!"

Amy gave a gentle laugh but her heart wasn't in it.

"What did you do, Amy?" There was worry in Rory's eyes. "What is this?" He pulled the diary out of her hand.

"It's the diary of the last companion the Doctor had."

"Fred? That's her name?"

"It's short for Winifred."

"Why did he get so upset? I mean, you shouldn't really have been sneaking in and out of all the rooms but he never usually minds that much about that sort of stuff. Did she write something bad about him in here?"

Amy shook her head.

"Amy, I think we should go back. I know he said not to go back until it was dark but...I don't think we should leave him alone. Not like that."

Amy agreed and they headed back, diving once again into silence, Rory's head full of questions and Amy's full of guilt. Once outside the T.A.R.D.I.S, they stopped, shared a look and creaked open the door very slowly.

"Doctor?" Rory called hesitantly to the empty room. They both entered, searching the room for any sign of him. Then suddenly, there was a crash that sounded like it wasn't far away. They raced towards it, hoping that the Doctor was alright. When they found him, Amy nearly broke down herself but, from the look of him, the Doctor needed someone to be strong for him.

He was in Fred's room, sat on the edge of her bed with his head in his hands. Everything in her room had been pulled over; all of her jewellery, books, clothes and make-up were all over the floor along with the vanity table that had stood in the corner of the room only hours ago. The room was a complete wreck, a victim of the Doctor's rage.

"I told you not come back yet." He said, his voice muffled by his hands.

"We didn't want to leave you on your own." Rory said from the doorway, surveying the mess with wide eyes.

"How nice of you."

"Doctor?" Amy knelt in front of him. "Doctor, why – "

"YOU HAD NO RIGHT!" He burst, finally looking up. His face was stained with tears, his eyes were black with anger and pain and his brow was furrowed. "You had no right coming in here!" He looked up at the ceiling. "And you had no right letting her in!"

"Doctor? I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"I'm not..." He trailed off and sniffed. "I'm not mad at you. Not really."

"Then why have you done this?" She gestured around to the chaos he'd made in the room. "Why are you so angry?"

He shook his head. Amy sighed; this wasn't going anywhere. "Doctor? What happened to Fred?"

He shook his head again. "Doctor? What happened to her?"

He said nothing. Amy tried another approach. "Whatever happened, Doctor, I'm sure she's fine with it. Do you know what she said about you? In her diary? Have you read it?"

"No. It's hers...I didn't want to..."

Amy opened the diary to last entry. Before she read it, she said, "She cared so much for you, Doctor. We all do." The Doctor tried to smile but found that he couldn't. She looked down at the last entry in the diary and read the date and the three sentences aloud:

"Twenty One Months.

The Doctor told me about what he had to do to win the Time War and save us all. I can see that he's so full of self-hatred and loneliness but he's not alone because I am here. And I have never loved him more."

A fresh tear slid down the Doctor's cheek. "Doctor? What happened to her? Where is she?"

"I'm not mad at you." He repeated. "I'm angry with myself."

"Why? Doctor, what happened? Why's this such a big deal?" Rory piped up.

The Doctor stared blankly ahead. Silence fell over the three of them until the Doctor said suddenly,

"She's dead."

Amy's eyes widened. Behind her, she could hear Rory take in a breath.

"Amy...Amy..." The Doctor clutched her like a child clutching its mother. He looked so small sat on the edge of the large bed. "I think I killed her."

I know, I know! Another cliffie. I'm terrible!

But fear not...I can reveal that the next chapter is called 'The Doctor's Tale' and you'll get a lot more detail in that! Is she really dead? Was it really the Doctor's fault?

Please review...I'll give you all jammy dodgers!