A/N: This chapter was super sad to write. I wanted to get real reactions without creating melodrama one wouldn't really see in these characters. I really focused on Gibbs' and Tony's reactions. I would really appreciate you letting me know how I am doing with this. I love hearing from you. Sheila

Surviving Winter

Chapter 7

Brownie signed in at 4:30 a.m. It had been awhile since his team pulled him out of bed like this. He only had to hear a few sentences of what they thought they had before he was sitting upright, barking at them to shut it down. There would be no viewing of the transmission until he got there. He held off on calling Vance or Gibbs until he knew what it was they had.

He could feel the anxiety rising up in the MTAC room when he entered. They all knew McGee. Some days, he was a regular fixture up there. On the screen was a frozen picture of CIA Agent, Chad Dunham. Brownie looked around the room. There was no need for everyone to be here. He asked his people to leave the room save his shift supervisor. Once alone, he had the shift supervisor turn it on. He sat down to watch it himself. He asked it to be stopped three times. He was immediately glad he cleared the room. The first two times he had it stopped, he needed to compose himself. It would no one any good if the chief MTAC officer had emotional reactions to feeds. The third time was because he was sure he was going to vomit. At that point, there were still two minutes left to the feed, but he stopped watching it. Clearly, he was going to have to watch this many times, and he was going to spare himself what he could. Sighing deeply, he picked his phone and dialed Vance. Then he called Gibbs.

…..

Gibbs was agitated when he arrived. Brownie was only relieved that he didn't bring any coffee with him. Vance sat quietly and waited for him to settle. "Jethro, you don't have to watch this."

Gibbs spun on his heel. "He was mine, Leon!" He was my agent!"

"Are you going to let your team see this?"

Gibbs squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't know."

Vance sighed. "Brownie, play it."

Dunham came on; his mouth was tight and his eyes burning. "Man, I hate to send this to you. We pulled it this morning. I've got analysts going through it. Wanted to wait, but I figure this could hit the web any time. Can't have you stumbling on to this. I did the best I could, Gibbs. I tried to stay on top of him, but Winter is a mean son of a bitch. He kept him outside my reach. I had my suspicions about this, but this was not the endgame I imagined. This is ugly stuff, Gibbs. I figure McGee wouldn't want too many people seeing this."

Gibbs rubbed his forehead. He was incapable of sitting down. The video Dunham sent started. It was somewhere remote in Afghanistan. There was a picture of four Marines and McGee being herded into a room. A disembodied voice came on with a pronounced accent. "This is footage of American criminals who've come to this country to destroy our way of life. They have burned villages and killed innocent women and children. Justice must be served."

The video cut sharply to McGee tied to a chair. He was badly beaten and unconscious. Gibbs cursed. The voice reported, "This is infidel, McGee. He is not military yet he was brought to this country to destroy us. He is a mercenary who cares for nothing but money and power. It is necessary that he dies for the survival of our people. We will execute him in the way that should befall all infidels."

The video cut again. McGee was dragged to a chair and pinned back while an interrogator asked him to say his last words. McGee resisted until he finally insisted that the people he loved already knew of his feelings. He was prodded again and spit at the camera. The lens went wild as McGee was pulled to the ground and kicked repeatedly. Gibbs rubbed his temples with both hands as if trying to control a migraine.

The next shot was of them dragging McGee outside. McGee struggled while they tried to position him on the stone. After a few minutes though, he gave up and rested his head as commanded. The men with long blades approached.

"No!" Gibbs turned away wildly for a moment. Vance was also on his feet, but could do little but shake his head slowly. Gibbs turned back to the screen, and the shot changed again. They were further away from McGee now. The video was blurry. A man with a long blade drew back with all his might and sliced into McGee's neck.

The room started to spin and Gibbs couldn't stay upright. Brownie was there with a waste receptacle and Gibbs grabbed it, vomiting violently. It was several minutes before he stopped heaving. Finally he sat back on the floor and turned red eyes at Vance who was sitting motionless. "They will pay for what they did to him, Leon! I'm going over there and I'm going to bring that boy back! This is a crime! And there are villains on both sides of this!"

"I wish I had a way to get you there. I really do. I know Sec Navy would have my hea-…Damn it! Sec Nav would bust us both."

"I have a way to get there." Gibbs pulled himself to his feet.

"What are you thinking, Jethro?"

"I need some air, Leon. I need some air."

"Your team?"

Gibbs shook his head and stabbed his chest with his finger. "I tell them, Leon! Only I tell them."

With that, he stumbled up the stairs to the door and disappeared.

….

DiNozzo could sense the wrongness of the day the minute he stepped out of the elevator. It was quieter than usual. Plus, there was something heavy in the air. DiNozzo's instincts were legendary. He could feel an emotion in the room before a single soul spoke. He knew a perpetrator almost as quickly as Gibbs did.

Ziva was there, looking more tired than usual. She nodded at him quietly. Tony sat down, and took notice of the fact that Gibbs' desk was empty. Bossman was coming in at dawn these days. It was a surprise not to see him there.

"Seen Gibbs?"

Ziva shook her head. "I've been here for half an hour already."

He felt eyes on him and looked up. Vance was looking down at the two of them. Tony met his gaze, but he said nothing. He just turned around and walked back into the office. Tony felt a twinge in his gut. "Something's not right, Ziva."

She looked up. "One of my dearest friends is MIA in the most dangerous country in the world. Things have not been right for awhile."

"It's worse today."

She narrowed her eyes. "I do not know what that means, Tony."

"It's gone from bad to worse. I can feel it."

"Please Tony, I have no patience for your riddles today."

Tony sat back and tried to concentrate on his email. Focus eluded him. He watched the room carefully as if on a stakeout. He jumped a little when Ducky strolled into the bullpen followed by Jimmy and Abby. One look at the older man and Tony could feel the truth radiating off of him. He closed his eyes.

Ducky cleared his throat. "I just heard from Jethro. He would like to meet with us in the conference room."

Abby cocked her head at him. "Does he have news? I've been praying every day for some news."

Ducky nodded. "I know very little. Jethro will tell us more."

Ziva let out a deep breath and stood. She reached for Tony's hand and clasped it tightly. "This is not good news," she said softly.

…

Gibbs was waiting for them when they entered. He was standing at the window looking out. When he turned toward them, it looked as if he'd aged ten years. His skin was pale and his eyes were bloodshot. Tony led Ziva to one chair and pulled Abby into the chair next to hers. Nothing in this world could put him in a chair right now.

Ducky stepped forward. "I think most of us can guess your news, Jethro."

Gibbs was stiff and cold. "There's a report out of Afghanistan that Tim was killed."

"No Gibbs!" Abby hadn't picked up on the cues. She tried to get up but Ziva grabbed her and pulled her in fiercely. Tony put a hand over his mouth. Hearing it was more than he had imagined.

Ducky shook his head slowly. "This is the worst possible news."

Tony let go of his mouth for a moment. "What happened? Is there a body? You said it was a report. Why are we trusting this report?"

"It wasn't just a report, Tony. There was video."

"Video of what?" Tony narrowed wet eyes at his boss. It was as if there was only the two of them in the room.

"You don't need details. Details won't help."

Ducky frowned. "You're hiding something, Jethro."

DiNozzo's face reddened. "What do you mean, details don't matter! What the hell kind of nonsense is that! Of course, they matter! I want to know what happened to my best friend and I want to know now!"

"Tony, calm down," Ducky said.

Tony rubbed at his face, pacing. "I can't! You just told me Tim's dead and I want to know what happened to him. It's going to come out even if you don't tell me. I will find out the truth!"

Abby sobbed helplessly in Ziva's arms. She lifted her wet face to Gibbs. "Tell us the truth, Gibbs. We need the truth. That's what we do here. We seek the truth."

Gibbs shook his head. "You're right. All of you are right. It's bad though. You shouldn't see it. It was…uh, very traumatic. You'll never be able to erase those images."

"Still want to see it, Boss." Tony stared at him.

Gibbs took a deep breath. "We received a video from Dunham early this morning. He wanted us to see it before we found it online. Tim and four Marines were captured by Taliban. They made a crude video. McGee was on it. They, uh,…they beheaded him on tape."

"This is on tape?" Tony whispered. "Taliban scum beheaded Tim and they taped it?"

Gibbs nodded.

Ziva started chanting Hebrew prayers while she held a shocked Abby. Tears flowed down her face.

"I need to see it." Tony said. He leaned against the wall as if he'd run a long race.

Gibbs shook his head.

"In other words, I should search for it online. I can do that, Boss."

Gibbs shouted. "Why do you want to watch it? It's ugly! It's cruel! Do you think McGee wants you to watch this!"

Tony stayed motionless. "What he endured, I will endure. I will see that video."

"Tony's right, Jethro. We must see the video. As a medical examiner, I need to see what happened. I owe it to that sweet boy. Tony is an investigator, he needs to see it as well."

Ziva lifted her head. "I may know the languages. And as I have been to Afghanistan, undoubtedly, I may see other things as well. I understand things the rest of you do not."

Abby struggled before she could find her voice. "I need to analyze that video tape. I need to know if it's been doctored."

Gibbs looked down and shook his head. "Never Abby. I can't ever allow that. The techs in MTAC can analyze the video. Brownie assured me they could."

"I can look for it online too!"

"No!" Gibbs was breathing in short bursts. He knelt before her, touching her face. "You can't do that. Not you. McGee would hate this above all else. Please understand that."

Tony put his hands on her shoulders. "Boss is right. Others can analyze this. You can't see this."

"I'm strong!"

Tony nodded. "Yes and you're Abby. McGee has loved and watched after you since the day you met. We know what you feel for him. If you believe that McGee is watching you, then you would know that this would break his heart. It will break my heart. And all you have to do is look at the Boss to know what it will do to him. We can't allow it. Will you promise us?"

"I want to help." She sobbed.

Gibbs squeezed his eyes shut. "Please Abby!"

"I can't do nothing, Gibbs."

He stroked her cheek. "You will help with this, but you will not watch that video."

Abby nodded softly. He stood up and looked at the rest of them. "Jimmy, you'll stay with Abby. As for the rest of you, we're going to MTAC."

….

Eight hours later, the bullpen was empty except for Gibbs. Vance had taken away their latest case, and put them all on mandatory bereavement leave. Gibbs didn't fight that decision, but Leon was going to need security to get Gibbs out of the building. Going home was a black hole for him. There would be no way to escape those images when he was left to himself.

They'd spent almost six hours in MTAC. It was heart wrenching. Ziva left after the first hour. In a shaky voice, she'd explained that she didn't think she could add anything new. Gibbs reached over and kissed her softly on the cheek. "I need you to take care of yourself, Ziva. I need you to be okay."

She nodded, her eyes soft and wet, and left.

Ducky got through it three times. He took off his glasses and dabbed a handkerchief at his eyes. Then he pointed a finger at Gibbs. "I want that boy's body! All of him! I will take care of him in the way he deserves. Do you hear me, Jethro?"

Gibbs nodded.

DiNozzo stayed. He hadn't said much of anything, but every time the feed finished, he asked Brownie to run it again. After the fifth viewing, he asked again, but Gibbs shook his head at Brownie. Brownie took it off the screen and left the room.

Tony didn't hide the tears that fell. He'd let them streak down his face as he studied the video again and again. He looked up at Gibbs. "I didn't know it was possible to feel this much anger. I felt it when Ziva was missing, but I had nothing visual. I had no window on the cruelty she suffered. Watching what they did to Tim…" His chin trembled and he steadied himself. "I don't know how to get control of myself."

Gibbs sat down beside him. "It'll take time. This is what I felt when I lost Shannon and Kelly. The injustice of it ate at my gut like a parasite. It consumed me."

"How did this happen? How did I end up loving him so much? I mean, he was such a nerdy thing with that baby face, stuttering and following you around like a puppy. I tried to ignore him. I made excuses when his ideas were better than mine. How many times did I superglue him to his keyboard, Boss? He and I…two people could not be more different than one another."

Gibbs smiled. "The kid just kept coming back."

"And he learned how to fight back. And he just kept getting better at the work. And while he was never first through the door, he was always on my six. In the field and everywhere else. I don't remember when it happened, but one day I realized that there was no one in this world, outside of you, that I trusted more than I trusted him. He was so good-hearted. He was my best friend."

"It was a pleasure to watch the two of you get so close."

Tony nodded. "I don't know how to say this. What we watched today was horrific, but I actually feel a huge sense of pride in Tim. Am I making any sense to you?"

Gibbs's eyes watered as he considered this idea. "He never let them win, did he?"

"They never got their sniveling American for the video. He never gave up. He was a proud American 'til the end."

"I never took time today to see that perspective, Tony. Thank you for that." Gibbs' voice cracked.

"You gonna' be okay, Boss?"

Gibbs sighed deeply. "I know how to fight, DiNozzo. As long as there is an enemy out there, I'll keep getting up in the morning.

….

Gibbs finally left NCIS. He drove over to Ducky's in the early morning. He climbed the old Victorian steps and noted that the sun was just beginning to come up in the sky. He sat down to watch. A few minutes later, he heard the front door creak open, and Ducky came out, balancing two cups of coffee.

Gibbs looked up. "Did I wake you?"

Ducky shook his head. "Never made it to bed."

"How's Abby?"

"She's sleeping. Finally. Had to sedate her around 3 a.m."

"She let you do that?"

"Oh, God, no. I had to spike her Caf-Pow."

Gibbs grew the ghost of a smile and took a sip of coffee.

"How long does Vance have us on Bereavement Leave?"

Gibbs shrugged. "I didn't ask. I have to organize my thoughts. I have to concentrate on getting over there and bringing him back."

"You'll need me there. The body won't be easy to identify if it has spent much time in the desert."

"I thought about that, Duck. Glad you're volunteering. Worried I'd have to kidnap you."

Ducky smiled. "Glad to see I'm not the only criminal in the bunch."

Gibbs' eyebrow shot up. "Duck?"

"You'll thank me later."

Gibbs' head suddenly felt too heavy for his neck. "Duck! What the hell did you put in that coffee?"

…

The Allied Forces had a banquet once a month in Kabul. It was all about supporting the spirit of friendship and collaboration. They even invited the spooks from the different countries. The whole thing was designed to break various turf issues that came with lots of hands in one pot. Dunham found them to be stiff and boring. Usually, various commanders went up to the dais and made flowery statements about teamwork. Occasionally, commanders made political statements about getting more troops or gave testimonials about particularly successful missions.

Dunham hated the bullshit, but he went for the food. There were always generous portions of American fare that tasted like it should. The steaks were always overdone, but the Texan in Dunham couldn't pass up a nice piece of beef.

Tonight, he was in a particularly sour mood. He'd sent off the beheading video to NCIS. He wanted to talk to Gibbs over a feed, but he felt so damn helpless about it. He had all of his contacts scouring Kabul for information about Hussain and his crew. He still had nothing but his gut driving him, but they didn't call him the cowboy for nothing. He'd made cases starting with less than this.

A waiter came by and he ordered a double shot of bourbon for himself and the empty place setting next to him. Wilson, sitting across from him, shook his head. "Pretty soon, you're going to hanging from the chandeliers and expecting me to do something about it. And I'm telling you now that when you do that, I'm just going to pretend I don't know you."

"Bad, fucking week, Wilson."

"I should know. You been yapping in my ear about it 4-5 hours out of every day."

"I like those NCIS folks. Losing McGee is going to put a big hole in that team. Damned wrong, unfair bunch of cowshit if you ask me."

"Got it, but mainlining bourbon isn't going to help anybody."

"Can't know that until you try it, Bro."

Dunham threw a coat over the empty chair next to him and cut up a roll on the plate. It ensured that the waiter would serve a meal there, and he would have two of the filet mignons. It was a beautiful bit of meat, but it was small and a Texan could hardly survive on one little chunk of meat.

Commanders got up and told their fairytales about working together effortlessly. Dunham drown out most of it, paying attention to his beef and bourbon. Then a voice he knew was talking and his head shot up. Colonel Winter was up on the dais talking about a recent tragedy involving eight Marines and a consultant who were attacked by Taliban.

Dunham downed another bourbon and sat up straight. The Colonel talked on and on about the bravery of the Marines, how four had died at the scene, four more and the consultant had been kidnapped, and how news had come to him that the consultant was beheaded. Nausea rose up in Dunham. Every instinct in his body told him that Winter was responsible for this atrocity.

Then the Colonel said, "A situation like this serves to remind us that more resources are needed out in the field to battle these evil forces. We have video clearly showing the beheading of the consultant brought in to assist the troops. This needs to be brought to the attention to the American public. They need to know the inhumanity of Taliban forces…"

Dunham stood up. Could Winter have actually staged this attack to create more sympathy out of Washington? Beheadings had always been fodder for the media. But why McGee? McGee was an important resource.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to Wilson. "I ain't going to do anything."

"Sit down."

Dunham shrugged him off. Winter was finished and followed his escort out of the room. Suddenly, Dunham darted around the tables and ran out into the hall. Winter and escort walked in his direction. Wilson caught up to Dunham and grabbed him from behind. Dunham struggled. "You got some balls, Winter! You staged that attack! You killed McGee!"

Winter stopped and his escort drew their weapons. "Dunham, you are damn close to committing an act of sedition!"

"Sedition! You gotta' be kidding me. I'm just reminding you of the facts, Man! I just happen to know the truth!" Dunham strained in Wilson's arms.

Officers heard the commotion and started to wander out into the hallway.

"Man is drunk! Has no respect for the military! Damned CIA."

"I'm not going to rest until I prove this whole thing."

"Sounds like a threat." Winter was very aware of the witnesses around them.

"It's a promise, Brother. It's an honest to God promise."

Winter nodded to his escort. "Arrest him for making terroristic threats against a Marine officer in a war zone."

Soldiers swarmed around Dunham. Wilson quickly reached in Dunham's back pocket and grabbed his phone. Dunham was yanked away, leaving Wilson standing there. Winter pointed at him. "You want to join him!"

Wilson stood tall. "I witnessed the whole thing. There was no threat. The CIA director will have a report on his desk by morning. And I'll tell you one thing: when Dunham has a gut feeling, it always turns out to be something big."

Winter glared at him for a moment, clearing weighing his options. Finally, he shook his head at the officers watching, and walked away. Wilson secreted Dunham's phone in his jacket and disappeared back into the ballroom.

…..

TBA Next chapter on Friday night