A/N: So, I finally sat down and planned out this story properly like a good little writer and I think it's going to be sixteen chapters in total...so plenty to go yet! I hope you don't find this chapter too boring...there's an awful lot of talking but it's all for a good reason, promise!

As always, thanks to all my fabulous reviewers: Abigailmaryjanesimpson, James Birdsong, DancingQueen411, padmay97, Mrs. 11th, Brownbug, Bad Dog No Biscuit, MayFairy and chibiwolfgurl.

I'd also like to thank everyone who's read this far...I've been so overwhelmed with the positive comments for this story so thank you! Your encouragement means so much and keeps me writing even when I feel too lazy! Jammy dodgers for you all...the Doctor would be so jealous!

The Doctor's Tale

"Here you go." Amy handed the Doctor a cup of steaming tea; he took it but made no effort to drink it. They had taken him back to the control room and settled him down on the chair next to the console where he had sat, motionless, until Amy gave him the tea.

Amy had no idea how to deal with this. It wasn't very often that they had to come to the Doctor's rescue and when they did, it was a case of physical danger; they had never had to help him with problems like this. She frowned to herself as she studied her best friend's face, tear-stained and contorted with anguish. There had to be some sort of explanation for all this. She knew the Doctor. She knew him and he would never do anything like this. She knelt down in front of him again while Rory leaned on the rail behind her, watching carefully and feeling completely confounded by the Doctor's confession.

"Doctor?" Amy began, trying to pull him out of this emotional black hole. "Doctor, tell me about her. What was she like?"

At that, the Doctor changed completely; it was an odd sight to see him beam with so many tears still on his face. "She was great; really, really fun. You two would have loved her. She was all mad hair and mad clothes. Always up for an adventure, always ready to meet someone new and get stuck in. Even if she couldn't help, she always wanted to try."

Amy's mind flicked back to Fred's first diary entry. "When did you travel with her?"

"Before you. You know those two years I was gone after Prisoner Zero and the Atraxi? That wasn't an accident. Well, it was. Sort of. She wasn't meant to stay for two years." He cast his mind back and smiled again. "I remember when I first met her. I wasn't even looking for company but then I met the girl with the boy's name! How could I resist?" He chuckled.

"Then why did she? Why did you leave me?"

"I knew you were different...your life didn't make sense, Amy; I knew you'd be a mystery I'd have to unravel. I had just seen off the Atraxi and hadn't quite got over my regeneration. I just wanted something fun for a few weeks before I came back to you and began our adventure."

"So what happened with Fred for two years?" Rory asked.

"We had fun, that's what happened. Jetting off here, there and everywhere. No problems, no mysteries, just...fun. We bickered sometimes but we could never be annoyed at each other for very long. Even the T.A.R.D.I.S. liked her. You know she let her into her systems much further than she let anyone else before...other than me of course."

"When did she..?" Rory trailed off, not wanting to say it.

"Two months before I came back for Amy." His face was immediately closed again; blank and cold as though he was afraid he would break again if he let any emotion through.

"How did it happen?"

"I told you." He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. "I did it. It was my fault."

Amy took his hand in hers. "Doctor, I don't believe that. There must be something else. Tell us what happened from the start."

He didn't answer for a moment; he just looked from one companion to the other before slowly nodding. "We...we were dragged to this vessel; a huge transport ship with thousands of people on board. All different species living together. It was magnificent."

"You were dragged? What do you mean dragged?"

The Doctor sniffed. "The T.A.R.D.I.S...she was pulled to the ship. I still don't know how. When we got there, we were both so amazed by the ship and the people we didn't really think about it. Anyway, on board there was a dispute between some of the ship's inhabitants and the law enforcers."

"Law enforcers?"

The Doctor nodded. "The ship's captain was liberal about who she let on board but once they were inside, there were strict rules. No guns, no walking the corridors past certain times; she even banned some types of clothes despite the fact that, for some of the species, they were traditional dress. The Judoon were enforcing the laws and the inhabitants weren't happy."

"So you tried to sort things out?"

He nodded again. "It was going well. We managed to get to the Captain and talk to her. We advised her that she would lose the respect of her people if she continued with the mad laws she was enforcing. She agreed quickly and it soon became obvious that she had no real desire to keep the laws; the Judoon were taking it upon themselves to eradicate any behaviour they didn't like."

"Doctor," Amy began. "What has this got to do with Fred's...death?"

He paused for a while before continuing. "Once we'd got the Captain onside, we just to remove the Judoon from the ship. It was pretty simple really. The Judoon like to think they're needed. We made sure that the ship's inhabitants gave the Judoon no reason to stay; for a day, they all wore the same clothes, did the same things and went to bed at the same time. The Captain told the Judoon that they were no longer required and they began to leave."

"What, just like that?"

"All except the Judoon's leader who could see through our little plan. While we were making our way back to the T.A.R.D.I.S, he found us. I didn't even notice him – "

"You didn't notice him?" Amy repeated, confused. The Doctor noticed everything.

"It was odd, but the whole time I was there, I had an unsettling feeling in the back of my head."

"How do you mean?"

"Like when you know someone's watching you. I had this feeling up my spine that something was there that I hadn't seen. It distracted me from some of the things around me."

Amy glanced at Rory who had opened his mouth to ask more about this feeling but she shook her head and cut across him. "And then what?"

"Fred saw him first and I turned around to see him raising his blaster at us. She found one of the heat pipes that had burst open when we landed. It was leaking fire. The leader was hit with so much fire he was knocked backwards. I wanted to go and see him, check that was alright but she told me, she insisted that I didn't. She said that he deserved what he got after all the suffering he caused and that he shouldn't have our help." He looked up at Amy, anger and pain twisting his face. "You know I hate seeing them suffer. I could see her point but...we often disagreed on matters like that."

"Like when she killed the Slitheen?" Amy asked.

The Doctor looked momentarily confused before he said, "She wrote about that in her diary, I suppose?"

"So...what? You didn't like that she killed the Judoon leader and...bumped her off?"

Amy whipped around. "Rory! Don't say that!" Rory shrugged.

"No! Of course not!" The Doctor glared at Rory. "I would never do that!" The both looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "As I was saying, I didn't like what she did but I did as she said and went to open the T.A.R.D.I.S. When I was unlocking the door, I could hear this...gargling behind us. The Judoon leader was still alive. Just. And then there was a shot and I turned..." Here, the Doctor almost lost it again but he took in a big breath and blinked the building tears away. "I turned and she was on the floor. The Judoon leader had died in that final effort."

Amy gasped. "Oh, Doctor! That wasn't your fault!"

Rory agreed. "Yeah, just because you didn't check on the Judoon it doesn't mean it wouldn't have happened anyway."

"No, no, no!" The Doctor almost wailed as he stood up suddenly and leaned on the railing opposite Rory, his eyes fixed on thin air. "She wasn't dead. The Judoon's blaster had been injured in the fire so the power cells had been damaged. The shot wasn't nearly as powerful as he had intended. Fred was injured, bleeding heavily but still conscious. I knew that I could get her inside the T.A.R.D.I.S. and into the Zero Room, the wound would be healed in no time and probably wouldn't even scar."

Amy and Rory stood next to each other, not knowing where this was going.

"So I told her to press the wound on her stomach hard and that I would be less than a minute unlocking the T.A.R.D.I.S and preparing the Zero Room from the console so I could carry her in and she could heal."

The Doctor stopped and looked as though he didn't want to tell them anymore.

"Doctor?" Amy prompted. His voice lowered to no more than a whisper.

"She trusted me completely. She trusted me with her life and I let her down. As soon as I was inside the T.A.R.D.I.S...the engines began and I was gone."

There was a stunned silence.

"What?" Rory burst. "You left her there alone to die?"

Amy grabbed his arm. "Shhh, Rory. That's not it is it? Doctor? That's not it is it? There was a reason wasn't there?"

There was a horrible silence that seemed to drag on and on before he nodded. "Yes. The same force that pulled us there was pushing me away." He paused and scowled darkly before spitting: "Like it had got what it wanted."

Silence fell over them again.

"Why didn't you just go straight back?" Rory asked suddenly.

"I did. She wasn't there."

Amy frowned. "What do you mean she wasn't there?"

"She wasn't there." The Doctor scowled. "I spent three days searching the ship. She wasn't there."

"So...she might not be dead?" Rory said, following Amy's trail of thought.

"Don't!" The Doctor said loudly. "She's dead. There was no way she could have left that ship. None of the emergency ships had been flown and..."

"And what? Doctor? What?"

"A pod had been released. A funeral pod." Neither Amy or Rory knew what to say. Instead, the Doctor laughed bitterly and said in a sarcastic tone: "Do you feel better now you know, Amy? Are you happier now I've told you because – goodness – I am." He wiped the tears off his face.

Amy rushed to his side, guilt overwhelming her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rake up all this. Doctor, listen to me. It was horrible but it wasn't your fault. It wasn't was it Rory?"

To both the Doctor's and Amy's surprise, Rory hesistated.

"Rory?"

"Well...I know you wouldn't abandon her intentionally Doctor but..." He glanced from Amy's frown to the Doctor's devastated expression but he still couldn't stop himself telling the truth. "I'm sorry Doctor, but you still left her alone."

"Rory!"

"Amy, I know! I know he didn't mean to but he still did!"

"Rory, I can't believe – "

"No. He's right Amy." The Doctor said quietly, sounding defeated. "He's right."

"Doctor, I don't mean to make you feel – "

But Rory was cut off by the T.A.R.D.I.S shuddering suddenly. The three of them grabbed onto the console and the Doctor stumbled over to the screen, pushing all thoughts of Fred to the back of his mind for now. The numbers on the screen were going down rapidly and so it seemed were they.

"Doctor! What's happening?" Amy called over the din of the engine as she clung onto the console.

"We're going back in time! We're – "

The T.A.R.D.I.S stopped with a bump and Rory sighed, thankful to still be stood on two feet. Once she had regained her breath, Amy said,

"Doctor, where are we?"

"Earth. Britain, England, London." He looked at the screen again. "1754."

So there we are...the Doctor's version of events! I hope they didn't disappoint.

Next chapter...the adventure begins!

Please review *makes puppy eyes*