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Mystery/Sakura/Kisame

Today was supposed to be like every other day with the things we've just come to expect. When I walked into my office I knew something was different and to my horror I found it immediately.

The shredder is gone.

Kisame walked in from behind me and blinked hard looking around the room for a moment he then turned to me. "This just doesn't seem like your office without the dreaded shredder." He informed me making me nod slowly but I wasn't paying much attention.

"It's gone." Haku said sounding shocked from behind me. I collapsed to my knees and just stared where the shredder is supposed to be, oddly enough it helped me notice something different. Someone was laying on my floor behind my desk.

"Shikamaru?"I asked curiously making the man roll his head over and look at me with a slightly annoyed face. My eyes widened in shock but soon I was beside him getting all excited. "What are you doing here? How've you been? Do you know what happened to my shredder?" I asked getting all excited like the world is a good old place again.

"Slow down… this is so tiresome." He groaned and sat up slowly. I watched him with wide excited eyes but then my lips started to quiver and tears fell down my cheeks. He stood up a bit faster and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "This isn't that tiresome." He amended but I just shook my head. I'm not crying about that. Looking at his clueless face made me smile just slightly though.

"The shredder…" I murmured and then cried even harder feeling even angrier and depressed. That's the one way I can destroy the stupid letters and feel satisfied! Granted I did have to destroy them by fire a couple times but that's not really allowed in the hospital. Too many laws against it.

"I'll go out and buy one." Haku called and left the office. We all watched him go without saying a word. That's when Shikamaru looked at all of our depressed faces and asked the question we all knew he would.

"Why do you all care about the shredder so much?" He asked making Neji explain to him in a tight voice, but I'm betting he's only upset because he didn't know the man was in my office. I smiled as my old friend's eyes widened in shock. I guess he didn't know what a catch I can be. "If you want I can guard the shredder from now on." He sighed and looked over at my window. I have a rather large window in my office which I am very proud of.

"Sure." I grinned knowing he would be looking out the window more than watching the shredder but hey it's a friend in my office. I glanced around for a moment then realized the only people left in my office are Shika and Kisame. The fish man was sitting down eating his treats while waiting for something interesting to happen. I don't blame him, I do that sometimes too. "What now?" I sighed making the two of them look at me for a moment.

"How about a tour? Haven't seen your new work place yet, but it's probably the same. Obsession with shredder was caused by some workers right? Letting me meet them might make me a bit more knowledgeable about the enemy." He informed us with a sigh and ran his hand through his hair.

I nodded slowly while Kisame flat out laughed. I can understand that. This is pretty funny that he thinks he can take them but who knows he might be able to if given the chance. "Did you learn a bit in military school or something?" I asked making the man look at the ground and glare. This must be a tough topic.

"Yea… you can say that." He said in a husky voice. I nodded slowly then led him outside of the room and began to show him around. Ironically enough Kisame decided to follow us so he was able to help point out members as they tried to hide. I'm assuming this means one of them did it but who knows and who cares…

"I JUST WANT IT BACK!" I screamed making the entire hospital go silent for a moment. Soon Tsunade was drunk and in the hallway looking at me like I'm the crazy person when she was swaying and almost tripping over air. I got one of her drunken rants before Neji rushed up and led the stupid woman to her office. "I really hate my job." I sighed and led the slightly amused Shikamaru into the next room. Gaara was there working on his office trying to get over the fact that no one is going to pay for it to be fixed.

"Hey there Mr. Grumpy pants!" I smiled kindly and poked his cheek. Shika just stared blankly at the office. I blinked for a moment then nodded. "Yeah Deidara, he likes to play with bombs and it looks like he had fun in this room." I informed my friend and tried to ignore Gaara's death glare. Soon he had grabbed hold of my wrist but before he could do anything more he was shoved back by my best friend.

"I'd prefer you not touch her when she's with me. We're not dating or anything but it'd be bothersome to watch someone try to take her on. I'd prefer she wasn't fired." Shikamaru sighed and looked the redhead over. I don't know what he saw but whatever it was made him force us to leave.

"I could have done that…" Kisame grumbled making me laugh and pat his shoulder. I found myself glancing back at Shika though. He's never been violent at all. Normally he just allowed me to do what I wanted. Soon we found Hidan shoving old ladies on wheelchairs down the halls toward Tobi who was running for his life. I stopped this immediately and helped take the older women off to the doctor to see if anything is wrong.

"You guys are idiots." I growled angrily wanting to say things that could get me fired but instead I stuck with that and hit them both on the back of their heads. Hidan glared at me while Tobi looked dazed and still a bit frightened.

"It was their fault! They called me an old man, dammit." He hissed looking seriously pissed. I vaguely noticed how he didn't cuss too much but I ignored that and kicked him out of the hospital for today. I couldn't do or say anything to Tobi because he was already gone.

"Where's Kakuza?" Kisame asked me making my eyes widen. I only read that one letter from him… where has he been anyway?

"I think I'm done here." Shika sighed and sat down in the waiting room. I blinked hard but then I saw the shredder next to him… he's a god. That's the only explanation I can think of. Kisame smacked the guy on the back then picked up the shredder and began heading toward my office.

We walked with him and found a tired and panting Haku who was also holding a shredder. When he looked over at us he dropped the shredder and glared. I have never seen him glare before. Soon several cusswords were screamed and then stuff was thrown all over the office. I took a couple steps back along with the guys and continued to watch as Haku destroyed my office.

"I RODE THE BUS TO GET HERE! I HAD TO SIT NEXT TO AN OLD LADY WHO THOUGHT I WAS HER DAUGHTER! THE FIRST STORE I WENT TO WAS SOLD OUT SO I WALKED THREE MILES TO THE NEXT ONE! THEN I HAD TO RUN TO CATCH THE NEXT BUS WHICH I HAD TO CHASE DOWN!" He shouted looking red and pissed and psychotic. I nodded slowly understanding why he's upset, but not really knowing what to do.

This is nice gentle Haku we're talking about.

"Shove it." Kisame said blankly and tossed the girly man outside of my office before hooking up both shredders. Haku was fuming but didn't say a word.

"I'm sorry." I said softly and hugged him tightly while looking at my desk full of letters. Shikamaru smirked at me and then took over with comforting Haku.

Dear Sakura,

Who was he?

Itachi.

P.S. who stole the shredder?

I tossed this was in the NEW shredder knowing how much Haku will like that then continued.

Sakura,

Saw you admiring my work, yeah. Who's the new guy? Haha if I stole the shredder it would have gone boom, un!

Deidara.

P.S. sorry but I don't know who took it.

I glared and tossed this one as well. Sure it's kinda odd that they haven't already figured out who he is but whatever.

Sakura Haruno,

Tell Shikamaru I don't appreciate his coming here.

Pain.

P.S. It was either Konan or Gaara.

This one made my eyes widen in slight shock before I sighed and decided that whatever it doesn't really matter why he knows my friend or for what reasons but I do need to figure out if it was Konan or Gaara. That does matter if nothing else.

"Why would they take it?" I murmured knowing the redhead uses it more than I do. Konan doesn't even send me letters. That's when I saw a large packet on my desk. I looked at the first page and saw to my horror…

"High School Embarrassing Secrets of Sakura Haruno's." My face reddened as I quickly scanned it to make sure this just wasn't an elaborate joke. The packet is one hundred and thirty-six pages. Kisame looked over at me and laughed lightly.

"Yeah I got my copy reserved yesterday." He informed me getting a glare in response. I started shredding the papers the best I could then realize I had four more of these packets around my desk. Sighing I got my gasoline can and placed the papers on the floor in a corner. I poured the liquid over them and began to set the papers on fire.

"'In her freshmen year Sakura bullied some girl for her lunch money, two hours later she realized it was her cousin. Later on all she said about the incident was 'Didn't know' but five years later she said 'that was stupid.'" Kisame quoted making me spin around and glare before charging after him. Everyone was staring but I don't care. I grabbed the packet and threw it into the fire with the others making the fish man glare at me with a look of deep hatred.

"That was uncalled for." He grumbled but I just stuck my tongue out at him and smirked. When I saw the papers burning up in the fire I grinned until I noticed one packet that just wouldn't burn.

"Oh are they using that new fire resistant paper now?" Neji asked with his own copy. I screamed bloody murder then left the office feeling more pissed off than normal. Kisame called after me but I ignored him. What am I supposed to do now? They probably have EVERY single embarrassing moment of mine from high school in that packet!

Crap.

I noticed nurses at the station also reading it. "Deidara! I need you to bomb the hospital!" I called making everyone look at me with wide eyes in horror. I will go that far if I need to.

"What's in there you're so embarrassed about everyone seeing?" Shikamaru asked making me look over at him with dead eyes.

"The packet probably has all my dates with the Akatsuki members in there…" I said slowly and heard a crash from Gaara's room.

I'm leaving early today…