I've been having some computer issues but hey whatever right? Here's the update and I hope you all like it. By the way my birthday is Oct. 7th. Just wanted to let you guys know since a couple of you have been asking. Without further ado… here's the next chapter.

Kakuzu/Sakura/Zetsu

I smiled a sly smile at Kakuzu and watched him smirk in return. "Hello there, and just where have you been all this time?" I asked letting him see how happy I am to see him. At this point I just want to have fun with my old friends, who cares if they're criminals? The Akatsuki is the best party group in the world.

Might as well have a little fun right?

"Saving money, but it just got to the point where it would make more sense for me to come down here rather than waiting in my room for someone to hand me the materials I need. I'm applying for a job of keeping track of the letters and making sure you can read them first before anyone destroys them. I'll even look after the shredder." Kakuzu shrugged making me give him a sly smile in response. This will be fun.

"You're hired, effective immediately." I informed him and watched a devilish smirk show up on his face. He's in the money making business and isn't in the mood to spend it. I watched his eyes scan over my office with obviously happiness. I guess this means I better make sure Neji looks up my stuff on ebay when he starts to sell it.

"Hey Sakura I just wanted to rape you while you're sitting here talking to Kakuzu!" Zetsu grinned from the doorway. I stared at him in shock for a moment then shrugged and smiled. Luckily for me, I'm used to freaks like these guys, so my friend who's half plant isn't that odd anymore. When we first met it was odd… especially since I'm scared of plants.

It took five years for me to stop screaming whenever he enters the room. I did my best to help myself stop trembling in fear when I saw him, even though it's been years I haven't brushed up on my skills of looking calm and normal around him.

"Do we need Birthday Cake Ice Cream?" Haku asked making my eyes widen. Oh I almost forgot that my birthday is coming up. Next Thursday it'll be that time of year again and if anyone mentions my age they will be faced with the new machine gun Tsunade promised me.

If someone as insane as her has a permit to carry concealed, I think I can get one too.

"Yeah that sounds good." I nodded while Kakuzu looked over at me desperately. "You won't have to pay for it, Haku will just make it from scratch so no worries." I grinned and turned on my computer. Inbox had 1058 emails and over five hundred were from past male patients. I deleted all the ones that mentioned anything foul and grotesque leaving me with proposal ones and the occasional 'hey thanks for saving my life!' email.

I took a deep breath then asked Kakuzu to hand me a dictionary. "One dollar." He answered making me look over at Haku who quickly handed me one. The greedy bastard snarled in his direction but my amazing chef took no notice. I may have to give that kid a raise!

Going through the emails I wasn't surprised when I heard a scream from the doorway, but I was slightly surprised to see that Naruto was the one who had screamed. I would have taken him for being much calmer than that.

"He's a plant!" The blond shouted then raced toward me hugging my torso from behind. I glared down at where his hands so idly placed themselves before continuing on with my work. "Why are your friends… not normal?" Naruto whispered in my ear as he began to tremble.

I just shrugged not really paying attention to him. "I don't think we should date anymore. I need a break." I said and narrowed my eyes when I had to look up four words in one sentence. Stupid doctors and their fancy language… They probably hate having to look up the easy words I use in my reports just as much as I hate the fancy ones in theirs.

"Oh… okay. Tell me when you want to go out again because I really like you." The boy smiled and kissed my cheek. I nodded absently then stood up with him. I am so done being a doctor today. It's just so damn annoying.

"I'm in the mood for Chinese." I said softly as I began to stretch. Instantly I noticed that my boyfriend left… my now ex boyfriend. "Did I just absently break up with him?" I asked with wide eyes and a look of undeniable horror. Everyone in the room nodded. "Damn… I didn't mean to do that. Kakuzu and Zetus… want to go get Chinese with me?" I asked making the two nod and then the greedy bastard stopped.

"Wait… your paying for me right?" He asked making me look at the plant man. He smiled and showed me a whole crap load of cash in his wallet.

"I don't mind ripping your guts out and eating your flesh!" He grinned making me look over at Kakuzu who was blinking and taking a couple steps back, when I realized I was doing the same I forced myself to smile and lead the way out of the hospital.

"I'm assuming you're paying for us all, right?" I asked Zetsu just to make sure. He grinned and nodded then took hold of my hand. He's sweet and innocent like Tobi in a way except he's also disturbing and wants to kill us all in another, but I don't think I should be thinking about Black Zetsu right now. That would ruin my appetite… especially with him sitting right there to ruin the mood.

"This is incredibly cheap of you." Kakuzu informed him as we walked into Panda Express. I guess the greedy bastard wanted us to go to some restaurant or something. That'd be incredibly cruel to put such a huge bill on Zetsu's wallet but at the same time he did have enough to pay for that and a large tip. I wonder how he got so rich anyhow…

"Can I have hot dirty sex with you on the floor right here while youchoose what drink you want?" He asked making me raise my eyebrows. Sighing the young man just handed me my cup and motioned toward the Soda Fountain. I smiled at this knowing that at the very least I know what that means, when I'd rather not know about his inner thoughts to do with me.

My phone started to ring making me pick up immediately. "This is Sakura." I said out of habit waiting for the other person to reply.

"This is your grandmother." The voice replied darkly making me raise an eyebrow then hang up. The person called back instantly making me answer. "I lied… I'm your father." Again I hung up and again the person called back. I ignored it until the person called back five times and I was still attempting to get myself a coke.

"What the hell do you want?" I asked angrily making a stunned silence appear on the other end.

"Miss Haruno almost everything in your office is on ebay right now." Neji informed me shortly. I blinked hard and then smiled and soon I was laughing.

"Sorry about that I thought you were this idiot that won't stop calling me." As soon as I finished saying this I heard a beep and noticed the person had called back. "Hold on a second." Answering the annoying prank caller I patiently waited.

"She picked up?" A voice whispered sounding hoarse. "Oh really? Okay… HEY THERE!" The person screamed making me glance over at Kakuzu and Zetsu who were talking into a phone. I looked over at the number and knew immediately that it was these idiots that were making me incredibly pissed off due to prank calls.

"Why are you losers prank calling me?" I asked darkly staring at the two of them. Zetsu and Kakuzu exchanged glances then pointed at the other.

"Zetsu's black side made me do it!" Kakuzu cried looking scared.

"This man's money made me do it!" Zetsu screamed looking more frightened of me then me of him. I looked between the two and allowed a slow soft smile to rise to my features. I know the perfect way to get them back. Taking out my phone I called Neji.

"Let Plan Z commence." I said softly and looked at my pretty red nails that are the color of blood. Someone's going to start screaming.

"Are you sure?" Neji asked sounding scared. I nodded then smirked knowing I need to say it.

"Let the plants die, and ebay be shut down." I said and heard several screams and cries all over the place as my plan came into action. There are very few people who are allowed to do this. I'm able to block people from ebay and give assassins the best way to kill of Zetsu with this easy to do plan.

I'm just lucky that Naruto is the manager and owner of all things ebay. There are a lot of people working under him sure but he's the main figure and helps out the most with anything that needs to be done. He's just amazing when it comes to this sort of thing and pretty rich too… Why did I break up with him again?

"What did you just do?" Kakuzu asked softly giving me the darkest look he could muster. I took out a spray bottle and smiled kindly at them.

"This bottle is able to produce a horrible chemical that will kill any plant within a mile radius. I created it and it's now on the markets along with a kind email from yours truly, to every assassin who's even thought about killing our dear Zetsu. Oh and I also blocked the Akatsuki from Ebay." I informed the two of them and watched the tears trail down their poor pathetic cheeks.

I went ahead and bought my own lunch before heading out. It'd be rude to make him pay after what I just did. Again, this might be yet another extreme thing I've decided to do much too hastily but whatever. I doubt he'll let anyone murder him.

Heading into my office I ate my food as I walked in watching an annoyed Haku stare at me. I guess he's just upset that I didn't ask him to make it for me. Glancing down at the letters on my desk I was surprised Kakuzu didn't steal them or blackmail me with them.

Dear Sakura,

This sucks… I was going to get rid of the other letters but instead I was fined. FINED! Apparently I have to pay Kakuzu 10,000!

Kisame

P.S. Please let me kill him… if I don't I'm screwed over for the rest of my life.

I shredded the letter without much remorse.

Dear Sakura Haruno,

I will not let Kakuzu's reign of terror go on for that much longer.

Pain.

P.S. let me back on Ebay or Naruto dies.

Glaring I turned to my phone and called Naruto. A short conversation later and Pain is now allowed back on Ebay. Damn… I hate saving stupid but innocent blond boys from behind killed by redheads. I've done this twice and frankly I'm getting tired of it.

"That was mean." Zetsu complained as he glared at me. I looked him over, saw that he was alive, and then went back to my letters, but before I could continue Kakuzu walked forward looking upset.

"Not allowed to fine people for entering my office anymore?" I asked making the man nod slowly. I nodded in agreement then smiled.

I love my life.