2163/07/03 10:30

"..."

"..."

Instead of sitting across from me, 'Michiru' sits atop the table, looking down at me with an unreadable expression. This feels like your average intimidation strategy during an interrogation, but something tells me this girl just likes to push my buttons rather than anything genuinely malicious.

Deciding to break the silence, I cross my arms and come out with exactly what I want to ask.

"As much as I like staring at each other like this, I'm going to be forthcoming with you. What the hell was that?"

"You're asking me that? I should be asking you that."

"Like hell you are. Before we get anywhere, I need to know who or what you are. Before I might not have been so sure, but from this little song and dance you just pulled off, I can say with certainty that you're not Michiru. You specifically refer to her as a different person entirely."

"Back to this game is it? How many times do I have to tell you that I'm Michiru?"

"We can move past it if you actually were to answer me."

"Hmph…It's nice to know that after you just watched someone you supposedly view as a friend have an emotional breakdown, your only concern is something completely irrelevant to the issue."

"Don't make me out to be some bad guy here. Your little attempt at guilting me to throw the attention off of you won't work."

"I am attempting to talk to you about the real problem here. Who or what I am doesn't matter as much as you think it does. Let's say I actually knew or understood how to tell you what you want, would me giving you the answers like that really be satisfactory?"

"Yes actually, it would be."

"Hm…to each his own I suppose. But if you ask me, that sort of thing is lame. Completely lame."

I can't tell if she's making a joke, but she sinks her head and crosses her arms with a pouting face. It's clear to me that we are almost opposites on a communicative level. There are no answers to find here. The more I try to dig toward whatever the truth might be, this girl comes along with a truck and adds in cement.

"Haa…fine. I think I should just accept I'm not going to get anywhere on that front with you."

"Rightly so. Now can we move on to the actual problems?"

"Go ahead."

"What you saw this girl just do right now? That's never happened before. Not once. She's never going to forget this moment for the rest of her life I'm afraid…"

"Okay? So what does this have to do with me?"

"If you don't already know, then you're far more clueless than I imagined. But I need you to understand that this is your doing. And you have to take responsibility."

"Tch. Again with this? One after the other. Fix this. Fix that. Am I supposed to just take the blame for every problem any of you have?"

"That's not what I'm asking of you. But Kazami, you kissed her. How could you not understand the ramifications?"

"Ramifications? You're expecting something out of me that I can't give you. How was I supposed to know that she would start acting so strange over it? Her weird emotions, and the way you appear out of nowhere, none of it is within my area of expertise last time I checked."

"Listen, you call it strange, but to her, you're the strange one here. I don't like saying this, but if it helps you understand…that one kiss, well it led her to fall in love with you."

"She's…in love with me?"

As if that outburst from earlier wasn't a 'Little Boy' of its own, this is like the 'Fat Man'.

Is that how it works these days? Does she even know what love is? Hell, I barely understand that myself. And definitely not in a romantic sense. The idea that you could fall in love with someone over one kiss is going to singlehandedly destroy hookup culture.

"Yes. I know it sounds stupid and naive. But she always had a small crush on you. So when you did what you did, it nurtured those feelings to another level."

"So, what do you want me to do about it?"

She glares at me a bit harder than before, giving me a silent cue that I must have said something incorrect.

"What you're going to do, is wait until later today, and you're going to visit this girl and comfort her like a gentleman."

"Ah, wonderful. Should I bring my best tuxedo? Or wait, I should give her a bell so that she can summon me whenever she wants. You're really telling me that she's so weak and pampered that unless I show up to wait on her hand and foot, she'll continue to be an emotional disturbance to the rest of the dorm? Good to know."

"You really don't care at all, do you? Not even a little tiny bit of empathy for a girl who's hurting because of something you did?"

"Look, I admit that maybe I should have thought more before kissing her, on that we agree. But the past is the past. Her mistake was falling in love with someone like me. Regardless of what you want to say, I simply don't feel the same way. Are you going to get upset at me over that? It's not my job, or anyone else's job to reciprocate feelings."

"That…I understand."

She tries to come up with a rebuttal but realizes the truth in my words. All she can do is look at me with pleading eyes.

"Hrm…but still. If me going to visit her and talk for a bit manages to ease this whole thing over, it might be worth it."

That, and maybe even the possibility of learning more about who this side of her is.

"It'll help for sure. But going back to the way things were before? That ship sailed the moment you kissed her."

"You know, this whole thing wouldn't have started if you didn't kiss me."

"That's completely different. That girl is innocent. She's never done anything romantic in her entire life. I might not be any different, but I'm far more mature. She's ignorant of things that we take for granted. She doesn't even understand aspects of her own life. Like the true nature of her quirk…or her father."

"I'd ask for you to go more in detail about that, but I think I've learned my lesson on asking you questions for now. I'll wait until I see Michiru herself."

"Very well. But…just remember to-"

"Talk to her like a gentleman. Yeah yeah. Understood."

"I'm glad we understand each other. Until next time, Kazami."

I sit around and wait as she gets up off the table and leaves the area. I didn't want to let it show, but those last two things she said made me particularly interested. The true nature of her quirk? What could possibly be the truth behind something that has no purpose besides comedic effect?

And then her father. What part of this puzzle does her father fit into? I'm not going to hold my breath on Michiru actually telling me something valuable, but I might as well bring it up regardless.

However, beyond all that, I can't help but wonder. By doing this, visiting her in her room and comforting her during this whole event, wouldn't it just push her feelings for me further? Or give her a false sense of hope? Would that not be the one thing I should avoid doing?

At the same time, despite what this 'other' Michiru might think, I'm not some heartless robot. It's just not in my nature to ever expect someone else to help comfort me if I were to ever need it. I guess I just need to learn that I'm the exception, and not the norm, especially among these girls.

I just hope nothing goes wrong again.

2163/07/03 16:00

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The alarm on my watch goes off.

I wanted to make sure that I waited for an acceptable amount of time before checking in on her, so I set a simple alarm for the afternoon.

I know I brought up the idea of a tuxedo to tease her, but now I start to wonder what exactly I need if anything. Why does this make me feel strange? I'm just going to go inside her room and check in on her and nothing else. So why do I feel like I should freshen myself up a little?

This definitely isn't one of those private room visits. Sorry if that's what you were hoping for.

The lonely appendage doesn't answer back.

Knock Knock

I wait for a few seconds, but I get no response. I didn't hear anyone leave the dorm all day after our talk, so there's no way she's not inside. Maybe she's asleep?

"Hey, Michiru. You being lazy in there? I'm going to come in alright?"

Still no response. I test the door handle and sure enough, it's unlocked.

I slowly turn the handle and make my way inside, where my eyes are forced to adjust rather quickly to an instant change in lighting, or rather, the complete lack of it.

Not that I have any trouble with darkness, but it caught me by surprise. Much like the state of the room itself. The last time I was here, I wasn't in for long, only enough to lay Michiru down on her bed, and even then it wasn't the most organized room I'd ever seen. Though it was still far cleaner and more put together than whatever this was.

Trash all over. Manga tossed about and mishandled. Half-eaten meals and unfinished drinks cover the tables. Is this the state she's been living in? What kind of person is okay with this? Well, I guess it's not a person. At the moment, it's an unmoving mountain of blankets sitting against the wall quietly. The only indication of the living thing underneath is the slow rise and fall of a set of lungs at work.

"Have you been reading vampire fanfiction again?"

"..."

"Is it that one about the loser from Earth and his three girlfriends? I thought I told you once that being a vampire is more than just brooding in the dark with Rommel."

"...They're not all his girlfriends. Only one of them is. And don't call him Rommel. His name isn't Rommel."

I almost want to chuckle at the pitiful sight. But at the same time, I feel something soften inside. There's not a single trace of anything anymore. No loud tsundere, no angry and vindictive fit of rage, and no embarrassment or awkwardness like she's been having with me before. She simply sounds done.

"The last time I saw him in here, I wanted to talk to you about it. From what I remember, pets weren't allowed in the dorms."

"Mrrf…I didn't bring him here. He just showed up."

"Sure. Anyways, sorry to ruin the mood you set up, but I think you of all people need some sunlight."

I grab her curtains and pull them aside, instantly filling the room with natural, warm, light.

"And you can do without this for a while."

Sitting down next to her on the bed, I reach over her and pull off the bigger of two blankets she has to cover her, finally exposing her to my eye.

"There she is."

One hand holding onto her cat, she uses the other to pull the remaining blanket down a bit more. I can't tell if it's because she's cold, or feels vulnerable. The fact that she's trembling can be either or.

"I didn't say you can be on my bed."

"That's more like it. I was afraid we'd lost you forever old friend."

"Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about."

She sounds completely exhausted. No vim or vigor to her voice at all. Almost as if the act of speaking is draining her.

"Sure you do. Would your usual self be all whiny like this? Wanna try again? I can watch you go through your vocal warm-ups."

"My 'usual self'. Mhh. That stuff…that stuff isn't me."

"And acting like a sad blob is?"

"Come on. Can't you give me a little comfort here? Guys are supposed to be protective when they see an obviously depressed girl."

"Banking on gender stereotypes I see. Maybe you haven't been reading that fanfiction. But fine. For the moment, I'll play along."

I lift my left hand over her head and begin slowly massaging her scalp.

"Mmm. Wha- what's this?"

"Comfort. What? You want more? What a greedy woman."

All things considered, this actually feels somewhat pleasant. And from the look on her face, I think she agrees. But I can't forget what I was here to do. Lifting my hand off her head, I hesitate for a moment before bringing it back by my side.

"Alright, I think that's enough for now. I need to talk to you about something alright? I'm going to be blunt, you have a big problem. There's…something up with you. And it's been confusing the hell out of me in some ways, and pissing me off in others."

She looks away from me, down at her cat, then to the wall, then empty space, attempting to ease her sudden discomfort at the topic at hand. But her face tells me that she knows exactly what I'm talking about.

"I did something, didn't I? I did something earlier right?"

"Yeah. Pretty much. Any memory?"

"No. I'm sorry. Hhaaaaa…"

Her long sigh wakes up the cat in her arms.

"No need to apologize. Just take it slow alright? I have time. This is important for both of us."

"Aren't your finals in three days? That's more deserving of your attention than me, isn't it? Are you really going to sit with me like this and waste your time?"

"Hey, I said this was important to me. Don't worry about that stuff. Besides, do you really think I need to study for some little exam? This puzzle, this enigma I'm facing with you is more of a test for me anyway."

"Hmmm. Now you're making it sound like I'm a Rubik's cube or something."

"Something like that. But we'll never solve it if you keep it all inside."

"...Well, I've always had problems with my memory. I don't even remember anything before I was five. It almost feels like I just woke up one day and was already living a life that confused me."

Five? A bit old isn't it? Isn't that the age at which the majority of people awaken their quirks?

"And, and Rommel. I mean- this cat…I said that I didn't bring him here. I wasn't lying. He just appeared. I don't even remember how. Aside from my early childhood, I do know the day these smaller gaps in my memory started happening. It's like…it's almost like diving in the water."

She turns towards me, a little more pep in her voice.

"You see the world around you when you're at the surface right? But when you dive in, it all goes blue. You see the water and the ocean floor. And you can kinda make out what's happening above you. So when you come up, you know where you are. But this. Imagine when you dive in, it's all just black. You can't see the water or the floor, and you lose sight of the sky. Then when you come for air, it's like you're in a completely different part of the ocean."

"So all in all, you have memory problems. Do you remember what happened earlier this morning?"

"Of course…kinda. I was playing Monopoly with everyone. But then you showed up and I got nervous. And I think something happened and I started to say awful things to everyone. But then it all just goes blank after that."

By the way she speaks, she probably has no idea that there's another her.

"Say, what happened? After I started yelling. Does everyone hate me now?"

"Does everyone hate you? What a strange question. No, you should be fine. Everything worked out pretty well."

"It happened again."

She says those words with a wry smile on her face. Almost like she expected this to happen.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Ever since these gaps in my memory, I feel like whenever something bad is about to happen, or when I mess up somehow, I'll blank out. And then, when I wake up again, everything is going smoothly again. Sometimes things are going in a better direction than before…but that just scares me. It's almost like I'm not allowed to make mistakes. To have everything solved for me like that."

It makes sense. The other Michiru is by all means a much more competent and mature person. It doesn't shock me that whenever she takes over, she can manage things for the better.

"Yuuji. I can't take it. Can you…can you tell me what happened? I want to know what I did."

"Hm. Alright, fair enough. After you finished screaming you-"

"Wait. I- can I get a little closer to you?"

"We're already within arms reach, aren't we? But sure, go ahead."

Michiru scooches her butt little by little over to where I'm sitting against the wall. At first, I'm a little surprised just how close she got, as our legs and hips are now touching.

"Good? Good. Anyways, so after you screamed-"

"H-hold on a second…I- Yuuji. Can I hold your hand?"

"Yeah, I don't really mind."

I turn over my left hand, palms facing up, and wait for her to grab hold of it. She clenches a bit tightly, but she still feels physically weakened.

"Hopefully you're comfortable now. So as I was saying. When you-"

"MmmmYuuji…"

"What is it now?"

"C-can I snuggle you?"

"Can you what?"

"Snuggle."

"You're saying that as if I should know what that means."

"Mrrmm. In that case, can I just show you? And then you tell me yes or no."

"Hm. fine by me."

Michiru slowly lets go of her cat, and inches a bit closer before repositioning herself entirely. She sits herself down between my legs on her side, and leans her whole body weight onto me, holding me in a tight embrace as she buries her face in my chest.

For a moment I'm somewhat unsure of what to do.

"So?"

"So what?"

"So can I do this? Can I snuggle you?"

"You're already snuggling me aren't you?"

"Mff. I guess so."

"Then stay. I don't mind it."

"Oh thank god..."

She lets out a breath of relief, I feel her embrace tighten just a tad bit. I feel the tension leave my arms, and I decide to rest them on her head and back. Not like they have anything else to do, and I was told to be a gentleman after all.

"You ready? Can I talk now? Or are you going to fall asleep first?"

"You can talk."

"Heh. I don't even spoil Makina like this. Consider yourself lucky. Ahem. Alright, no more interruptions. After you started yelling at everyone, you-"

"U-um!"

"Yes?"

"I…I think I'm good."

"You're good? You want to stop cuddling?"

"No! I mean…I don't need to hear about what I did anymore."

"Glad to hear it."

"..."

"...Are you going to let go of me now?"

"Mm. Yeah, I guess I should right? Since…we don't need to talk about that anymore. That would be the normal thing to do."

"I mean, this isn't terrible. So I guess I wouldn't mind staying like this for a bit."

"Thank you."

For a while, the only thing on my mind is the sight of her back rising and lowering with her every breath. But I start looking around the room, and on her desk, I see a stack of letters. Some were cut open, some left alone. It was clear from here what they were, they were all checks. Each one from the same sender: Matsushima Keijin.

The truth behind her father. At least other Michiru alluded to it. I wonder if that has something to do with her not remembering the first few years of her life?

"...?"

I'm quickly ripped from my trace of thoughts by a wet feeling on my chest, exactly where Michiru buries her face. This woman better not be drooling on me or something.

"Do you?"

But when she looks up at me, the answer is clear in her watery, reddened eyes.

"Do I? Do I what?"

"Do you hate me?"

"What is with these questions? No. No one hates you."

"It's just…none of this is normal. I'm not normal. I have these gaps in my memory, and you even said yourself that my problems make you mad."

"Well, that's not untrue, but it's not you that's pissing me off. Regardless it's not your fault."

"You sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be? And about this whole normal thing. Would you honestly call me normal?"

"Mh. Good point!"

Drying her tears, she gives me an actual smile. The first one I've seen in a while.

"Yuuji, you're softer than I thought."

"Huh? Now look, I'm not the type of guy to just get in that kind of mood anytime a girl is touching him. I can control it pretty well."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nevermind. I think we're talking about different things."

"Yeah, you are weird."

For a while after those last words, we remain like that, clinging to each other. I start to wonder if her memory gap rubbed off on me, mostly because instead of sitting against the wall like I was, at one point I opened my eyes to find myself laying on my back. With this overly comfortable woman right on top of me.

Kind of annoying since I can't really move. I mean, sure I can move if I wanted to, but there's more weight than the physical in positions like these.

After another period of losing any and all semblance of time, I start to shift around slowly.

Michiru, who shamelessly was using me as a pillow, stirs awake. When she sees me trying to get up, she finally gets off of me with a groggy, embarrassed look on her face.

"Ah. Thanks, Yuuji. Coming to me like this. It really means a lot."

"Hm. I mean I was probably going to do this no matter what, but you specifically told me to check up on you as well."

"I did? I see. Yeah, that makes sense. But, still. The idea that I'm going on autopilot, and doing all these things I don't even remember. It's scary. Like one day I'm going to lose my body or something."

"I understand. Well, I should get going."

"Yeah, you…you…you! Don't get the wrong idea about all this! You hear me!? I was just pretending to be all sad!"

Talk about forcing a performance...

"Then what is this?"

I point at the wet marks of her tears on my shirt.

"Uagh! That's nothing! Nothing I say!"

"Also who was literally sleeping on me for like an hour?"

"LALALALA! CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALA!"

If my knowledge of Michiru was only things I knew from those first months together, I would just say something snarky. But after this whole mess, I know exactly how to hit her where it hurts.

Morphing my face into something close to sorrow, I slump my shoulders just slightly and turn my body away.

"Oh…yeah, I get it. I just thought that maybe you enjoyed it or something."

I have to hold in my chuckle when I audibly hear her expression change.

"Y-Yuuji wait…I did enjoy it. Err. Sorry."

"And now, you can never live this down. Congratulations."

"Wuagh!? Where'd your sad face go!? Agh! You tricked me! Well, whatever! I'm leaving! And you better be gone by the time I get back!"

"Yeah, yeah. Not like I want to stay in here anyway."

"Oh and Yuuji…tell one of the other girls, and you're DEAD!"

With her last message, she and her cat march themselves out of the room to who knows where.

"Haa…"

And so I managed to solve…literally nothing. Well, I guess it's still up in the air on Michiru's ability to socialize with me, so that might be a problem nipped in the bud. But in terms of the other personality inside her, that might as well be a complete mystery for now.

Oh yeah, almost forgot about this.

'Matsushima Keijin'.

Hm!? These checks, each one is a pretty big hunk of change, aren't they? I guess it makes sense, to send your kid to school like this, you'd probably have to be pretty well off. But still, what kind of father is he, and does he hold some of the answers I seek?