Chapter 27 : Heart of Sword
Lexicon :
Shiwasu = equivalent of December
Damare = shut up
Shimatta = damn
Hai = yes
Do = name given to the Uchi corresponding to the cutting of the opponent's side (also refers to the protective shell of the trunk of a Kendo armor)
Kote = Ippon which is a strike on the side of the wrist
Yoko Men = Ippon which is a strike on the side top of the head (generic name for Migi and Hidari Men)
Ryûshosen = a rising attack meant to strike the jaw from below. For additional power, one uses one's free arm to apply force to the back of the blade and utilizes a powerful upward jump during the attack akin to an anti-air attack.
A/N: I had initially put the description of all the techniques mentioned, but it ended up being too long and heavy to read... so I invite you to consult the Rurouni Kenshin Wiki which is extremely well done on this subject if you wish to learn more about them!
When Kaoru entered his room this morning, she found Kenshin already sitting on his bed, earlier yet than the previous days. Another encouraging sign of his recovery.
"You're awake already ?! How are you feeling? Do you remember your name... ?" She hesitated as to the most pertinent question to ask, and ended up - as she often did - blurting them all out at once. So far they had to constantly check for everything, given how unpredictable the wanderer's condition turned out to be.
"...Kenshin", he replied carefully, "but... "
He seemed bothered.
"...Where?"
Inevitably, Kenshin was asking the same questions over and over every day.
"Here is the Kamiya dojo, in Tokyo," she answered patiently. "You are actually in your room."
He shut his eyes again, as if trying to digest the information once and for all.
"...W-when?"
His bruised throat still burned painfully with each word.
"It's the year 1881..."
She hesitated to continue.
"...The year 1881 of the Meiji era. At...at the beginning of winter season."
"Meiji..."
Everything was so confusing. He knew his name was Kenshin -of that he was pretty sure- but as for the rest... He had mixed feelings about everyone who would enter this room and he wasn't sure why. Not only that, but he had a deep-rooted suspicion that he should know these persons around him, that it was important -he could guess anyway it from the way they kept staring at him- but he just couldn't recall any of them no matter how hard he tried... He had no precise memory of these people, only fuzzy or strange impressions that would surge into his guts at random. And if each day was proven to be slightly better than the one before, these recovered perceptions only seemed to complicate the matter even more...
...So far, the two women were nice, yet something inside his mind prevented him from getting too close to their kind. The brat and the brawler as far as they were concerned, were simply annoying for how much noise they made toward his aching brain. Too loud, too fast.
And there was that authoritarian swordsman, claiming to be his master...
...Who is he to me, exactly?
Though intimidating, his presence sometimes stirred bitter-sweet souvenirs in him. He had flashbacks of repeated hits, the heavy sound of a waterfall, of tasting dirt and rocks full-face, and the sour smell of rice liquor under the fresh night sky... The tall man never asked him questions, spoke little, but never stood very far from him. And his powerful aura made him thoroughly threatening, for Himura could smell death hidden behind human's soul since the harshness of his early childhood... Whenever they were in the same room, even if he would pretend not to be looking at him, he could feel the swordmaster analyzing his spirit and exposing it as if he were just skinning an animal. Even at night, when there was nothing else around to disturb his attention, he could perceive his imposing presence on the roof above his room, a sign that he was also watching him into his sleep.
Hiko... Seijuro... I think I vaguely remember him…
"...Here, a bit of light will do you some good!" Kaoru noticed that Kenshin had been absent for a while and proceeded to ajar the shoji in his room to stimulate his senses. Taken aback, the wanderer tried to shield his eyelids from the sun that suddenly reached his pupils, before realizing that his muscles indeed held little strength in them. His whole organism seemed rusty. And that was merely as far as his body was concerned. His mind on the other hand... Himura was trying hard not to dwell on it.
"Can I help you in any way, Kenshin?"
"I... I'd like to... g- get... up."
He sat up on the bed, but his own head was spinning and he had trouble maintaining his position.
"Wait until you get your strength back first, Ken-san. There's no point in standing up if you're going to fall down afterward." the doctor replied while helping him to keep his back straight by supporting him with one hand.
...When did she walk in?
He hadn't seen or felt her coming up behind him… which was mind-boggling. A glance around the room made him realize that there were now a lot of new individuals around him, and he wasn't sure how much was going on. On top of that, he could feel all these people watching him closely and he didn't like it one bit.
"You still haven't touched your meal from last night," Kaoru completed. "Megumi's prepared it on purpose to make it easier to digest."
So far getting food into Himura's belly was a daily battle. They had to constantly control that he was indeed swallowing it. The swordsman had lost considerable weight during the long months of bed-rest, and his face was only beginning to regain some of its colors -although he already looked much more alive than before his awakening.
"Getting back to appropriate nutrition is even more important than rehabilitation. We're approaching the last solstice and I wouldn't want you to be left vulnerable" Given her experience in the matter of contagion, the doctor was legitimately concerned.
As the end of the year approaches, infections are rampant in a crowded city like Tokyo. If he stays like this, it's possible that Ken-san just won't make it through the winter... I refuse to have done all this work to fail at this stage!
Despite their best efforts to feed him, in the absence of movement, the body was not regaining muscle mass at a satisfactory rate and his weight was still too low to withstand the freezing temperatures of the long months ahead. And if he didn't succumb to the direct effects of the cold, it would be a virus or bacteria that could claim his life. Cold, flu, gastroenteritis, bronchiolitis, pneumonia... the list of candidates was endless. Megumi had seen enough patients in better physical condition than his own pass away during the year-end epidemics to know that this step was essential. With a weakened metabolism, winter was shaping up to be a trial not to be underestimated.
"Eat, Kenshin, please," Yahiko insisted this time, and handed him the tray once more.
Again...?
"Hai..."
Anxious to get this uncomfortable commotion in his still precarious environment quickly over with, the swordsman gave in to the pressure to finally grab the chopsticks that were laid out next to the ceramic bowl. Eating was certainly the last thing he wanted to do right now. He constantly felt like being stuck on a ship lacking moorings in the middle of a storm. Thus, the warm rice ran like an acidic squirt down his throat, assaulting the fragile membranes in its path, and he immediately pushed his head back... Which turned out to be a silly idea also, since his inner ear had not yet had a chance to balance properly. His complexion, if that was possible, had momentarily gone from pale to yellow to a color that could at best be described as greenish. His stomach had long lost the habit of receiving any kind of solid ingredients. What had to happen happened, and the nausea that had been nagging him almost on a daily basis returned with a vengeance.
"It's still a bit early," sighed the doctor. "It will get better gradually each time. Take your time between bites, but don't force yourself if it's to spit it out later."
Easy to say...
He didn't answer her, focused on stabilizing himself.
"...Do you understand me, Kenshin?"
Megumi felt that she had lost his attention again. This happened a lot.
"...Huh?"
"I said it's important that you try to eat as much as you can."
The wanderer frowned. Just the thought of having to start pushing food down his throat again was bringing him close to vomiting.
"Ha -hai."
He was frustrated by his own phrasing as well, straining to find the right words and put them together to form a coherent whole, which didn't help to communicate with them all. His metabolism seemed to be working in slow motion and he couldn't always formulate the few sentences that came to his mind correctly.
Tired...
Still, he tried to put on a decent face, partly so that he wouldn't worry the people around him and partly so that they would just leave him alone more quickly, as he was struggling to cope with all these new elements at once. He hated being at the center of attention...
When... ?
Kenshin suddenly heard a door close -probably the one to his room-, while his visitors were still talking to each other in an uninterrupted, more or less distant stream. He then understood that had probably just bluntly missed a considerable part of the conversation.
Shimatta...
...Anyway, he had no choice but to unravel these problems later. For now, he needed to heal as soon as possible so as not to remain dependent on others. Probably these people were telling the truth and that by regaining strength, his memory would eventually become clearer... In the meantime, he just had to put his trust in individuals who were mostly complete strangers to him -something he found out he had a very hard time doing overall.
Well, maybe tomorrow would be better... or will he have forgotten half of what he'd learnt today again?
And to think that I only wanted to find a quiet spot for meditation...
If the thirteenth master of the Hiten Mitsurugi spent little time with the others, preferring to remain alone, the inhabitants of the dojo as for them would attempt to take advantage of his presence as often as they had the chance. In spite of his hermit-like character, this man was a fountain of knowledge, especially for troubles that had to do with Kenshin Himura's past... Seeing their friend recall his name thanks to him had galvanized the expectations of everyone here, flourishing their hope that one day he would recover his memory completely. Once again, the wanderer owed a great debt to his former master.
"Tell me Hiko-san, you arrived fairly quickly after my letter..." now that she was sure that he indeed knew who this 'Shinta' happened to be, Kaoru was burning with questions for the master. Nevertheless, she opted to begin the conversation with banalities, hoping not to put him off right away. It was now common understanding that Hiko was stingy when it came to explanations regarding his relationship with his disciple, and she didn't want to get on the wrong side of him for a start "...did you not follow Tokaido road?"
"Hm..." Seijuro winced. He had taken refuge in the dojo's garden, hoping to enjoy his nightly saké in peace, only to be joined out of poor chance by more or less the entire clique that had followed his student to Kyoto two years earlier.
"I've taken the train this time..." he waved his arm, stating modestly "...Too many widows and orphans to save on the path"
"Wait… Isn't that the whol' point of yar Hiten Mitsurugi teachings n' all : helpin' people... ?!"
The master raised an eyebrow. He's really full of dead air, this one... No wonder he was his stupid disciple's best friend.
"Are you really trying to argue the precepts of my school with me... ? "Hiko reared, before turning instead to his cup of liquor. He really had other fish to fry than this insolent rooster "Helping people by defending them with our sword against ill-intended people, sure," he muttered,"...But I certainly never signed up to dig out carts dumbly stuck in the mud, or climbing trees to retrieve irrational kids searching for their pup..."
"Someone's lost a pet near Tokyo... ?" Now Yahiko was curious about what the master was referring to. He happened to like canines, especially when those were starting the introductions with a well-placed pee over Sanosuke's pants (he'd almost died from laughter that day). Little did he know, Hiko was indeed talking about the late Lychee -or Mochi by his real name-. Kaoru had told him that he had fled away, and after looking for him for a few days in the surrounding neighborhoods armed with food, Yahiko himself had to give up... Maybe there was still hope for that pet after all "...What did this dog look like?"
"Oh Lord, tell me this isn't happening again..."
How can my stupid disciple stand to be surrounded by so many noisy folks? I did yet raise him as a loner...
"Drop it, who cares about the journey or this freakin' mutt?!" cut in the former Sekihotai, who never minced his words "Why dontcha rather tell us ; there's somethin' I've always wondered... and I bet all of ya did too..." he scratched his headband nervously "...What diddya say to Kenshin at the damn' hangar 41? To make him change his mind when he got bloody crazy ?"
"…That is none of your concern." Hiko stated plainly, before resuming emptying his cup, as if his response wasn't offensive at all. What was going on between his disciple and himself was nobody else's business.
"...It is!" Kaoru instantly rose to her feet, voice threatening to shake. She couldn't bear to see the swordmaster withholding information so casually while they were desperate to understand even the slightest thing about what might be going through the redhead's mind since he woke up "It is, ever since he stepped into my dojo, and saved everyone here! Kenshin has lost most of his late memory, and we know near to nothing of his history before the Bakumatsu! You've raised him so you're a little responsible for all that happened too!"
Seijuro finally deigned to direct his eyes toward her, although unmoved by her display of emotion. Kaoru had become a little more adult by taking over the reins of the dojo. With a closer look, the brat at her side had matured too.
Hmpf... I wonder if in the end this whole event will have weakened their budding relationship, or on the contrary, if the fear of losing him will have strengthened it?
This woman was after all the strong advocate for a school that protects life, and Kenshin was an assassin to the core. Whatever happens next, his disciple will have to face the consequences of his actions toward his beloved at some point, and Hiko had no doubt he would... should he ever recover his souvenirs.
"I don't see how this is relevant. Besides, do you really wish to talk about that night again ?"
"No, certainly not! But..." she had clenched her fists, determined to face the swordsman's obvious muteness "...Anything we can learn about his past traumas will help us treat him. We need your assistance on this, Hiko-san. Please..."
Sanosuke and Yahiko, too, were glaring at him.
"Jou-chan's right, dude..."
"I don't understand; what does it take for you to just tell us what allowed you to bring him back to his senses…?" added the boy, having finally gotten over his interest in the previous canine topic "…To you, it may sound ridiculous, but it's awfully important to us!"
"...Fair enough."
The master sighed, realizing that he was stuck here among these stubborn individuals anyway -by his own unfortunate decision- until he was positive that his disciple was back on his feet. Or at least in the right state of mind... Might as well clear the air right away, and with a little luck they would get off his back somewhat.
"No need to get excited about it. All in all, it's nothing very fancy..."
He drew a long breath...
"...I only told him..."
[ It's over, Shinta ]
And took another sip of his drink.
"...Nothing more."
Whatt...
If possible, he felt their skeptical eyes even more intensely riveted on his face than before.
Is that all there's been... I can't believe those simple words had such an impact on him...?
Obviously, they were all waiting for more explanations, so the master enjoyed a few more endless seconds of those incredulous looks before going on :
"...When I found the boy decades ago, the first year he spent with me at the mountain was riddled with bad dreams. Almost every time he went to bed…" he closed his eyes briefly, as if to remember "...It was getting annoying, so to silence the kid I would sit aside him and repeat this single phrase... And eventually, he would calm down and fall back asleep after a while."
At this point, all were speechless, listening to the now serious master. Despite his caustic tone, his gaze was distant. All that was heard beside his voice were the dying last cicadas of the mild season.
"…So, these nightmares and Kenshin's reaction at Yokohama... " Kaoru was the first to break the stillness "…do you believe the slave traders back then are to blame for it somehow?"
He seemed to take forever to answer anew.
"Well, who knows... Was it issues he had with the brutal attack of the bandits, the treatment of the slave traders who owned him back then, or further stories related to his blood family before all of that ever occurred? Even I can't tell, and we would rarely speak about it by the morning..."
Revolution was already rumbling in Kyoto. To survive in this country set to fire and sword, he had to train his disciple. To become strong, quickly... Or be carried away by the whirlwind of the Bakumatsu.
"...War was raging at our door, these were years when we had no luxury of lingering on such issues."
I could only guess what had happened at that time... by listening to the cries.
Some of the words Kenshin said in his terror, the master would keep to himself.
We had to go on.
"And this name, Shinta, the one he mentioned right when he woke up... ?"
"...That's the name his parents gave him." completed the master as if it was evident.
...I understand better now! Kaoru clapped both her hands together. So his memory did simply jump to the past!
"Phew, I thought at the moment that he had just gone crazy..."
"We all did," Sanosuke corrected. "And it's kinda freaky when he doesn't know what timeline he's livin' in –'specially when ya know his pedigree..."
"You won't have to worry about this ; I'll stay with you for a while this time." I won't make the same mistake twice. "I'm not convinced what I can do for him, but... I can probably help a bit with the rehabilitation…" the talented swordmaster grinned.
There was no way Seijuro would talk about the real reason for his venue.
…What if his violent instincts woke up first and he were to become unstable because of his serious brain damage? I would be somewhat responsible for the victims that will result from this, if only for teaching him the art of the sword... And I am the only one able to stop him.
He dearly hoped he would never have to make that decision. Better help these folks as much as they needed. Fortunately for him, his last answer had completed reassuring his interlocutors...
To this day, the thirteenth master of the Hiten Mitsurugi's support had proved much greater than could ever be voiced.
Over the next few weeks, Himura's physical condition progressed, as thanks to Dr. Takani's good care semi-solid food was now able to cross the threshold of his stomach at least half the time. The improvement in his diet allowed him to attempt to walk again. First with the support of a baton and then feverishly, slowly, on his own. So far he still had trouble moving around, his emaciated body too weak to perform all the movements he requested from it. He occasionally needed to lean on the walls or halt on his way to catch his breath, or he would be forced to ask for help, something he certainly wanted to avoid. This state of vulnerability and dependence, which put the survival instinct of the warrior he was in essence to a severe challenge, was rather unpleasant for him to endure. He therefore exercised every day when he was capable of doing so, gradually relearning how to mobilize the muscles that had been stiffened by the prolonged immobilization. Even the most subtle movements, which still eluded his will, Kenshin would practice them until the only thing he could feel was pain, then until he was no longer aware of any sensation in his limbs, and then, finally, until he had succeeded in his task.
I have to try... Again... Again...
Nothing else was an option. He wanted to recover regardless of the cost, desperate to get back into shape as quickly as possible. For the more his memory returned to him, the more he perceived a strong and unshakable urge to be able to protect the ones he cared for... Well, he wasn't sure exactly who he had to defend from what, but he knew that he had to. He wanted to help people. He always had, as far back as he could remember, even as Shinta.
He's still a bit lean, but he's regained some of his muscles...
The doctor was peering at him through the shoji, bending and folding his arms and legs for the umpteenth time. She was genuinely impressed by his resolve. From the moment he was able to move again he had been relentlessly working on his rehabilitation. Mind dead-set on recovering his abilities.
I have rarely seen patients making such rapid progress. As amnesiac as he is, deep down he's still our Ken-san.
As the reconstruction of souvenirs was an extremely distressing process, and above all highly uncertain, Megumi had reluctantly asked that the wanderer be left alone, and that only Kaoru -with whom he seemed calmer- as well as the doctors in charge of monitoring his condition be allowed to pay prolonged visits to him. The young kendoka was never very distant from her during her consultations anyway, and this afternoon was no exception.
"...Do you want something ?"
...But today, just as Kaoru had joined her, they heard a voice emerging through the paper doors.
"Huh ?"
Did he notice our presence, or at least that of the tanuki? They exchanged a puzzled look. Whatever it means, that's certainly a step forward!
The two women were prompt to join him in the room.
"How are you today, Kenshin?" the young brunette who had introduced herself to him earlier as Kaoru began. "Are there any things that come back to your mind?"
"I..." he covered his mouth, stifling a now familiar retch. "...don't really know. It's still... foggy..."
...Which was actually a formidable euphemism. If he was beginning to reclaim the sensations in his body, his entire brain by contrast felt like a swarming flea market of the former capital on its busiest days. Some chunks of information were where they weren't supposed to be, some had been there but then gone back to heaven knows where, sometimes in senseless fragments, and some seemed to have never existed but were present nonetheless.
Most of the time he had the impression of going around in circles, having the constant need to ask the same questions over and over before he could truly incorporate any answer in his neurons. In short, it was pure anarchy. With all things to relearn and a memory that kept coming back to him in bits and pieces, only to better disappear again, his day-to-day life was quite painstaking, so to speak.
"...Do you at least have a more solid idea of where you stand in time and space?"
Himura frowned. Of course, they also kept on checking what he remembered or not every damn second, which was getting irritating.
"I believe so..."
"...So?" Megumi pressed on, only relying on the evidence. She'd seen enough sick people to know that one could feign proper sanity, and considering what had thrown him in the coma, Himura was obviously a master of the art. She wouldn't be tricked into this again.
"Wait..." He was growing frustrated with those questions. "This is Tokyo... in 1880?"
It definitely seemed like it was when the clock had stopped for him.
We're not far...
"More precisely?"
The doctor wasn't exactly ready to give him a break. Kaoru almost felt sorry for the wanderer, noticing that he was struggling to maintain any kind of consistency.
"..."
Himura seemed to be stuck on this particular subject. He had put his head in his hands, trying to pull himself away from anything on the outside that might affect his thinking.
"..."
"...It's winter, Kenshin," Kaoru finally whispered to him by his side, relieving the man of his turmoil. "I told you the previous day."
"...Sorry "
He shifted his foot nervously, an indication of his impatience.
"It's ok, I will tell you as many times as you need" she gently rested her hand over his. Strange, how that touch was both awkward but also comforting for him.
"Aa. Arigato, for what you're doing..."...What's her first name again? He really couldn't tell her that he once again had forgotten it. For some reason, he didn't want to worry the brunette... Ah, that's it! She'd told him earlier "...Kaoru- san."
She replied with a heartful smile.
At least he remembers my name today. But still no 'dono' .
Kenshin couldn't quite figure out why as time went by the young kendoka was the person he was most content to be around. Her simple company was somewhat soothing, and even her awkward attentions were bringing a spark of warmth into a world that didn't seem to make any sense to him so far.
"You know, it's... it's better every day"
He felt the impending importance of not hurting her, almost the urgency of taking care of the lady. Hence, he was trying his best to recover his memory, all the more driven by the likes of this Kaoru who seemed to care a lot for him, and who were treating him as one of their kind despite all odds...
"...Even my energy's higher"
... But his brain was still stubbornly and painfully playing guesses with him. He kept remembering certain data only to forget them again a few hours later, earning still nothing clear that went further than early childhood. The most disturbing part was that every mention of the name "Kenshin" was chilling him to the bones, as if the simple word was holding much more than what was just spelled out in its mere syllables... There was a faint voice hidden deep within his soul that he refused to acknowledge, seemingly crying out to the void that he should never get his memory back.
Why... ? ...Am I... afraid?
This was all the more disturbing.
"Good. I can see that, Kenshin"
In her mouth, and hers alone, his name on the contrary almost sounded a bit heartening. Thus he instantly tried to smile back at her… But, tiredness soon caught up with him, and he closed his eyelids, as if this one conversation had drained all his stamina. The swordsman had been sleeping a lot lately, probably as a result of the reshuffling of his cerebral pathways.
He already looks a little more like the Kenshin I remember...
The young kendoka stared for a moment at the waning redheaded figure in front of her, still trying to smile at her even as he fell asleep. He was obviously weak and still struggling mentally, yet somehow attempting not to burden others with his suffering.
...I will retrieve all that's left in you, the worst as well as the best. And I will rebuild every inch of it. No matter how long it takes...
Later that day, when Hiko finally appeared in the room, his disciple was no longer awake.
"HIMURA HAS WOKEN UP! HIMURA HAS WOKEN UP!"
Since she had received another letter from Tokyo it seemed to be the only thing that came out of her mouth these days -Ryu, her faithful carrier pigeon, being the first official victim of her litany. She was jumping all over the place - nothing new so far- relaying this information to whoever would listen. Aoshi, who had the misfortune to be passing by, turned out to be her next target.
"AOSHI-SAMA! Himura's awake!"
"I know" It's hard not to hear you even on the other side of the Aoiya. "...Did Kaoru say anything else in her letter?"
"Nah... she didn't really elaborate. Not on this topic at least."
"Hum..." She probably wants to give Himura some privacy, considering his condition...
"...We need to get to them as soon as possible! Kaoru will definitely need our help to support him!"
As if hoping to find some new information in it, Misao was flipping the paper over. Professional deformation related to Ninjutsu, most likely. Accustomed to the silence of her partner, the young girl with the long braids went on naturally.
"We're packing for Tokyo when our mission is over, right Aoshi-sama? Won't we...?"
"... Quite the opposite, actually..." The former leader of the Oniwabanshu had no peer when it came to cooling-down the vibe. One could certainly call him an innate in this domain. "...I think the last thing Himura needs right now is to have more people around him."
"Huh? But why...?" She was disappointed by his rather pessimistic reply. A trip to the new capital rhymed in her eyes with wonderful sightseeing and interesting culinary discoveries. She couldn't wait to get there.
"Because waking up after a long blackout can be very confusing. He may not even recognize us."
Shinomori, as the former leader of Edo Castle's defender, had witnessed many battle injuries. If the head had been struck, heaven only knew what the outcome could be. Right now, the sight of a former enemy could further destabilize the former assassin, and he doubt Kaoru and her friends ever needed to take that risk. He certainly wouldn't, had he found himself in the same situation.
"WHAT? That's awful!" Misao started to fidget again, her braids fluttering around her waist. "If he's forgotten us, I'll beat his head until he recognizes me! After all he's been through, he may well take another hit!"
"...Huh?"
"I said: if that's the case, I'll smash his head in until he remembers my name!"
"Hmpf... that I don't doubt."
Did he just... smile?
In a heartbeat, Misao went from disappointment to unrequited love. Not only had Himura gotten better, but on top of that, she had nearly made her suitor laugh with her offbeat comments. Which was supposed to happen statistically barely once a decade as far as she knew.
"I guess you're right. We'll keep helping Saito with his vast investigation then!"
It didn't matter if she had to delay her visit, she would do her best for the wanderer who had been so helpful to them. As long as Aoshi was by her side, there could not have been a better way for her to start this year...
As soon as his physical state allowed it, Seijuro Hiko had proposed to bring his former pupil to the training grounds of the dojo, in order to assess the consequences of his coma on what he had devoted part of his life to teach him... The latter had eagerly accepted this offer, longing to regain his athletic skills.
All in all, this was a golden opportunity for the young Myojin. One of those once-in-a-lifetime chances, when a capricious fate brings together unfathomable odds. Kenshin would never train in their presence and had always adamantly refused to teach him the deadly art of his school. So when he heard of Seijuro's intentions the day before, the boy had risen at dawn, decked out in his kendo hakama and his sturdiest shinai -for he knew the Kamiya dojo's equipment from the inside out-, determined to give it his all not to be left out this time. Upon seeing him, fully prepared and resolute to follow them at any cost, Hiko had simply shrugged and nodded thoughtfully:
"Fine. I could find some use for you."
...And that's how Yahiko's lifelong dream -practice with Kenshin and his master-, after so much fussing and secret prayers to whatever God had a chance to listen, finally became reality.
By dawn they had moved inside the Kamiya dojo, where all but one shoji remained closed, a north wind already threatening to blow outside. Had he been asked, the boy could have waited in the building until nightfall out of fear of missing this experience.
"First, try to exchange a few strikes, you two… I won't get sweaty if you're not even worth it "
Seijuro motioned for his former pupil to take one of the wooden swords hanging on the wall, next to the school's nameplates, to which he responded with a single nod of his head. Yahiko, meanwhile, had already chosen one and readied his stance.
"I... am not sure about this"
Himura was lifting the weight carefully. It felt strange... oddly familiar to the touch.
"Yes you are. Just grab that shinai and get to work".
Hiko had spent years training this man. He knew better. With this, the redhead complied without another word... before positioning himself in front of the young Myojin in a flawless guard stance.
He's exactly the same as he was when he was my pupil... Sullen but determined.
All of a sudden, Yahiko could feel his blazing gaze upon him and the hairs on his arms automatically stood up in response. Although he had always fantasized about trading blows with the former Ishin Shishi, he had no idea what this Shinta-freshly-rebranded-Kenshin was capable of... would he tend to be more of a wanderer or an assassin? Either way, his body had retained at least some memory of his troubled past, as the immediate accuracy of his placement suggested...
This posture... it's in his blood.
While his opponent was still pondering this, Kenshin didn't waste a second and ran toward him.
*Hya !*
As soon as he lifts his blade, his body starts to act on its own...
Yahiko parried the redhead's first uncertain blow with his shinai. He was watching his movements closely.
...But this level of strength is within my reach! I can have a go at him in my next bout!
"Kote !"
The boy slid the wooden sword he had blocked against his opponent's weapon and aimed for a wrist strike...
What...?
...But while he could already picture the blade hitting him, in anticipation of the weakening of his grip on the guard, Himura spun at the last moment in a remarkable reflex.
How can he move that quickly ? I'm sure his motion wasn't even conscious...
Without letting himself be destabilized, the young Myojin, who was used to fighting challengers much more powerful than himself, immediately responded with the traditional kendo swings. He knew them by heart from practicing them every day.
"Dooo ! Yoko men !"
But once again, the swordsman somehow evaded them effortlessly.
Relax. At least I can see him moving.
Not wanting to grant his opponent any opportunity to retaliate, Yahiko continued his assault, trying to shut any window of reply. However...
None of my blows get through... !
Another strike was met by the void. His adversary was now darting all around the room.
I can no longer read him.
Those squinted violet eyes, intensely focused on him, were somewhat frightening.
Why isn't he attacking...? Is he evaluating me?
Yahiko realized that his best option was to provoke the wanderer.
He desperately tried to fake a strike as an attempt to trigger his attack, then disarming him with the few Kamiya Kasshin techniques he had learnt. After two years spent in the dojo and an ironclad will fueled by the necessity to defend his chosen family, he had become the most promising of Kaoru's students...
"Hadome !"
Yet the swordsman ignored his trick and immediately swung his hips to shift his attack to a new angle. Yahiko deflected it in extremis, surprised by the sudden offensive.
* Hya! *
A second strike then followed, seemingly out of nowhere, again aimed at the boy. He narrowly missed.
What- ?
Never stopping, the wanderer unleashed a series of thrusts without any real logic to them, as if simply assessing the strength of his limbs. But if the first strikes were merely hesitant, after a while, the sheer force of his blows was enough to make Yahiko's arms quaver.
How come... he's yet skinny
The former Ishin Shishi was not applying any of his institution's techniques, and his body was still weakened by his long convalescence. However, the growing intensity of his hits was beginning to shake his partner's joints. Trying to parry when he could not even dodge, Yahiko was soon gasping for breath, swaying as he gripped the handle of his shinai, but not giving up.
The boy is in bad shape...
Hiko, who was scrutinizing his former disciple, finally paid attention to the one from the other school, and progressively witnessed his enthusiasm fade into frustration before finally turning to a more alarming feeling...
…He's getting scared.
"Don't blame yourself, Yahiko, he's had years of training body and soul... these things don't get forgotten, even with amnesia. They become reflexes".
Besides, just like me... Himura's a prodigy. And he'd trained him hard... Never a moment of rest or leisure, except for the daily chores -if that ever counts as such (well at least, to Hiko it did). But it had all been worth it. When it came to abilities, he's never let me down during his training.
Before long, Kenshin began to systematically override his defense, sliding to his sides, to his back, landing blows that he soon couldn't block, soon couldn't even see... and his strength was increasing with each blast.
At this rate, the Kamiya pupil'll end up injured.
"Enough of this. You will deal with me now."
"It's not fair, I'm not losing yet!" Yahiko implored, panting and raising a wobbling weapon in protest, "…I can still fight!"
"Are you deaf or just plain stupid...?"
"Let me at least try to hit him, I know I can do it...!" The kid, whose bruises on the skin were betraying his mouth, nevertheless took a few steps back under the commanding gaze of his interlocutor.
"I said that's enough. Now move, boy"
And so, in the grave voice of the Hiten Mitsurugi's master, Yahiko's fifteen minutes of fame came to an end. He didn't even have time to mourn over this humiliation, because as soon as he was out of reach, the master pounced on his pupil without any other form of courtesy...
" Here I go, Kenshin !"
...and before the human eye could even register his movement, his tremendous scream was reverberating through the air of the room.
"Miginagi !"
The first blow was aimed at the centre of the redhead's right arm from the side. Kenshin ducked it at the last moment.
"Hidarinagi !"
The second aimed at his left arm, also from the side.
"Sakagesagiri ! Kesagiri !"
The fourth and fifth, chained together without allowing his opponent a moment's respite, arrived diagonally on his right and left shoulders respectively. If Kenshin could easily dodge Yahiko's strikes, the same could not be said for those of his master. A third of them was landing on his back, his arms, his legs.
[The dull roar of a waterfall behind his back]
A second of absence and Hiko immediately noticed his pupil's blank gaze.
Is he seeing something... ?
"Focus!"
"...Huh ?"
"It's just a warm-up, baka deshi! These are only basic strikes!" The master swung his sword over his head, "You need to seriously get those mechanics working again if you don't want to end up more disabled than you already are!"
"Damare... ! "
Good, he's starting to get angry...
"Show me what you're worth, or I'll spend no further time with you!"
Without wasting any more breath, the master carried out his threat.
"Karatake ! "
[The drops of water on his face. The dirt on his lap]
*Ouch*
This time, the blow aimed at the top of his head with a downward stroke sent his disciple crashing to the ground.
[Each day, the cries of attack echoing endlessly in the mountain]
"Sissho ! You could've killed me ! "
Now it was Kenshin's turn to feel frustrated. For whatever reason, this knock had a terribly wrong aftertaste.
"Peuh... And then what?!" Hiko snorted. It felt good to see him so lively at last. Even better, to hear his former disciple call him this way again. "You sound very chatty for a dead man !"
"NO but that's not what I m-"
"-Then what are you moaning about ?! You should've seen it coming !" That rebellious gleam in his gaze... I'd almost missed it. Almost. "En garde !"
[This high camphor tree he used to beat every night to work himself up, until his palms were raw and scorched, until his muscles burnt]
"HYaaaaaaH !"
"Again ! More ! "
And to think he's holding back... Yahiko swallowed hard. It's certainly something else compared to Kaoru's punches... No wonder Kenshin's gotten so fierce, I'm surprised that he's even survived his years of training at all.
The more Seijuro was pressing him, the more the redhead was pushing back. Now this was the Kenshin he'd met back in Edo era. With a little provocation, he would become sassy and prove to be an incredible fighter. Hiko had studied his disciple's martial drive like the back of his hand and knew exactly which buttons to push to trigger his fearsome fighting instincts.
[The hits, the hits, the hits, the hits...]
...Now !
When he felt that he was ready enough, the swordmaster launched a Ryûshosen -to which his pupil instinctively reacted with a powerful leap, placing himself above his opponent to exploit his weakness before using the momentum of his fall to amplify a two-handed sword thrust that would bring his blade down on his enemy's head... which was the very definition of a Ryutsuisen, his counter technique.
Kaoru once said this was Kenshin's favorite move... Yahiko recognized it straight away, the amazement in his gaze apparent ...Hiko did it on purpose!
"Not too bad, stupid pupil... I see you haven't forgotten everything." Seijuro sheathed his sword and motioned firmly "...No more playing. Now we can start the serious business."
The master threw his cloak to the ground with the utmost aplomb – to do it with style was the key - to finally get into a Batto stance, and what ensued... unfolded at a very unfair pace for sake of the young Myojin's eyes. The latter could only vaguely make out the swordmaster rushing towards Kenshin, before eventually hearing little more than their screams and the resulting whistling of the wind.
"Ryûkansen-tsumuji !" "Arashi !"
Still, he could not take his eyes off the place where the two last representatives of the Hiten Mitsurugi were fighting… As terrifying as it was magnificent, it was like watching a macabre ballet. All around him, the cracks in the walls of the dojo were resounding, seeming to tremble as they passed, expanding in an anarchic way under the force of the two auras roaring as they were feverishly swirling around each other. And the most astonishing thing in all of this was the wanderer's sickening progress...
He's a maniac...
The more he was exercising, the faster he became. The more smooth he became, the more precise he grew. The more accurate he was... the more terrific he appeared. Like blood flowing through his veins, the memory of the Hiten Mitsurugi had been engraved in his body. Every muscle, every sinew, every joint was burning with the fire of the newly found motions, as if his organism had been starved of this dance during its long recovery.
"Ryûmeisen !"
A kenjutsu maniac...
The obsessive precision of his strokes, the determination devouring the light in his pupils, and the fluid, haunting rhythm of his moves... Yahiko felt a lump form in his throat. The boy was fully aware that the choreography he admired so much had actually been the last doomed vision of many... Before his eyes was no more than a death show.
This is why Kenshin never trains around us
"Nijūnana- Kuzuryūsen !"
I ain't part of their world...
For the young apprentice of Kamiya Kasshin, it was both a fascinating and horrifying sight. The two swordsmen were at one with their swords... In fact, they seemed so endued unto that art that it became almost hurting for a boy who was born in a time of peace and had witnessed the rise of modern artillery, such as guns and cannons. Powder monstrosities, too easy to use by anyone with ill intents.
And I don't see Kenshin ever living without his sword... or else at the cost of his soul fading out.
What about Kaoru? Was she aware of this? The wanderer had always claimed that he wanted to give up his sword someday, stubbornly refusing to pass on his knowledge, but...
It's the very essence of his core
At the same time, as his muscles were tensing to the extreme, as his body was replaying through reflex patterns that had been earned by the sweat of his brow, Himura's memories were growing maliciously vivid...
"Doryûsen !"
...For, as far as he could remember...
He had been born nothing
Without the slaver's intervention, he would have starved to death like any other orphan.
Without his master's intervention, he would have died at the hands of brigands.
« Ryûtsui shôsen ! »
Swordmanship had been both his salvation and his downfall...
[Without her, he would have lost his soul, forever trapped in the assassin's madness]
Deep black eyes and a gaze as dark as the abyss…
« Tsumuji ! »
[Without her, he would have lost his heart, condemned to lead a meaningless life until death finally claimed him]
Ocean blue eyes and a smile as bright as the sun…
Who… ?
*OuchH*
"Come on ! Snap out of it, will you ?!" Hiko's loud voice pulled him out of his trance "This kid here's staring at you as if you were his mother, so give him something worth looking at !" If his disciple released his attention, he was going to tie him into knots "And you, boy, you're not ready to become a famous kendoka just by standing still with those googly eyes !"
Unfortunately for them both, motivating by mockery was one of Hiko's most popular training methods.
"I... he's right, Kenshin, you've been my hero ever since you arrived at the dojo," Yahiko admitted, blinking, embarrassed to have been caught mouth-hanging (and secretly praying that the master of Kamiya Kasshin was actually out of ear's reach, or he would never hear the end of it) "...I've always wanted to be like you"
"Oh... is that so ?"
Himura, who had briefly paused, didn't understand how anyone could have ever looked up to him as a role model... Still, the boy seemed truly confident in his words. At least he was thankful for this interruption, which had freed him from what looked like very painful memories. A little more and he was starting to feel his chest tighten...
"Enough talk you two, let's get back to it! "
"...Hai !"
...Far from the unusual excitement that was shaking the dojo on this particular morning, Kaname, who had dropped by to visit Kaoru earlier, was watching the very tense battle with a cautious gaze every now and then. On the one hand, he was happy about Himura's recovery. Although he didn't know the man personally, this event had certainly rekindled his childhood friend's joyful spirit. On the other hand, he wasn't entirely comfortable with what he could observe... there was something in this scene that didn't feel right. He could definitely sense a sinister aura hanging around this wanderer, and the sight of him practicing a deadly style of kenjutsu with such grace did little to reassure him. Furthermore, Kaoru had invested a lot in this man, while he seemed to show neither remembrance nor public gratefulness towards her so far.
"Kaname, there you are..." Waving an arm in her lilac kimono, the young dojo mistress gingerly made her way to where he stood. "You've come punctually, as always !"
Even if I'm glad to see her smile again, I kind of feel sorry for her...
"...That's good, we can take advantage of the fact that these three are training to do some work together! It will buy us some time"
... but there's no point in talking to her about it. It'll just put more weight on her shoulders.
"No problem Kao-chan, you wanted to discuss what you mentioned to me last time we were by ourselves, right? "
"Yes! But not a word to Yahiko until all's good and, I want it to be a surprise for him! "
Lately, Kaoru had been focusing all her attention on the wanderer and almost neglected her classes in the process. She felt somewhat guilty for letting her most eager student study with another master. Despite his strong temper, her disciple had proven to be a cornerstone of the Kamiya Kasshin school, even in her absence.
As soon as things get better I'll make it up to you, Yahiko !
Restoring the artifact she had finally uncovered would require time and effort, but in the end it would be worth it. And she was going to rely on Kaname's help to make it happen.
At the Kamiya Dojo, the atmosphere surrounding the dinner table - where almost everyone gathered - became a little more cheerful with each passing week. One must say the good news kept coming lately.
"By the way... Have you noticed that since his training with Hiko, Kenshin spends hours in the dojo every day, practicing his katas like crazy?"
"Yeah he's a beast... he's gonna lose all the weight we fought so hard to put on his skull at this pace!"
"Don't ever speak to me about his master again..." Yahiko growled. What had started as a dream had nearly ended as a nightmare. He still held bruises from the confrontation and, let's be honest, was also equally upset that Seijuro had brushed him aside so casually. "Somehow, I'm glad he's not my teacher..."
The guy's is awfully talented, but he's got zero leniency whatsoever... even worse than busu!
"…And I'm glad to hear you admit it at last!" the young Kendoka beamed triumphantly. She was occasionally envious of her pupil's admiration for a school that wasn't hers. "Speaking of it, I think it's insane how much time Hiko spends just monitoring Kenshin these days... Is it possible that he has finally grown..." Could she really put it out loud ? "...Some sort of paternal instinct?"
"Who, HIM...?! " The motley band burst out laughing in unison. "C'mon ! There'll be snow in hell long before that happens! "
"Just thinking about that is kinda creepy!"
Kaoru laughed in turn.
"Well, a chance he's not there to hear you…"
Indeed, just like Kenshin these days, the swordmaster merely occasionally ate with them. He would only appear from time to time, strolling around the dojo -however hardly very far from his disciple. Social life was certainly not his cup of tea.
"Sure, but it's still a relief to have him helping us out. Just in case..." There was no way Kaoru would continue this sentence considering its implications "I feel like since he's taken up kenjutsu, Kenshin's eyes are less hazy but they have somehow gotten darker... I'm not sure I'm making myself clear?"
"Not one bit, Jou-chan, but don' worry I gotcha' !"
Another particular detail was both reassuring and worrying to his companions. The sakabato was no longer lying next to the former Ishin Shishi. The one night he had brought back the inanimate body of his disciple, Seijuro had retrieved the murdering weapon and meticulously cleaned it, before putting it on a wooden stand inside the wanderer's room, awaiting an unlikely release from the hospital. No one had dared to touch it ever since. And for some reason, Kenshin had not picked it up after he woke up either.
"...Maybe he's recently reckoned some specific incident from his past?"
"Who the hell has a clue? It's not like he's sharin' those with us."
"Do you think at this state, we should start bringing up small things to help him regain his souvenirs?" Yahiko missed a chunk of the sea bream with his chopsticks.
"Mmmh … m'not sure 'bout this. What's best ; rememberin' a shitty life or havin' to start from scratch all over again?"
Sanosuke did have a point there.
"That's precisely why revelations should be kept to an absolute minimum. As long as we don't know what exactly he remembers, we must be careful whenever dealing with him. I don't want any of you to go and explain Kenshin what really happened." Megumi glared at them one after the other, her gaze deadly serious "His brain has already suffered enough. Telling him the outright truth in his condition is a risk to throw him into a stupor, or worse... "
The shock might well send him straight back into a coma, or drive him to a desperate gesture like the one that had directly led him there. They certainly couldn't afford that possibility. That's why none of them had yet ventured to mention the tragedy for fear of upsetting the fragile balance. Everybody felt like they were walking on eggshells since Kenshin awoke. Even the former Sekihotai - whose open-mouthed nature often led him straight into trouble - was now agreeing on the fact that events should not be rushed.
"…Yeah, imagine recollectin' all at once that any blood-related family of yours is long dead, that you've been sold into slavery before runnin' into a sick war n' murdering hundreds of people, then killed your own wife by yar sword..." and here the brawler was barely sugar-coating the truth "I certainly wouldn't like to stand in his shoes when tha' happens"
That, or some other atrocity we still know nothing about... As he rarely broached the subject of his past, there was so much about the wanderer that they simply ignored.
"Right. I can't begin to imagine how it would feel…"
"In the end, there's no way for us to predict what the most beneficial option for Himura would be. We have no choice but to let nature take its course. When it comes to severe childhood trauma, the personal narrative is fractured so that unendurable experiences are isolated and locked in dormant compartments… Which, unfortunately, are likely to haunt the victims for the rest of their lives"...And as a result, these individuals are more prone to extreme acts, as well as addictions.
The doctor did not wish to worry them further on that matter. Kenshin would have enough to deal with if he were to recover his faculty without having to endure suspicion or distrustful looks from his close ones in addition.
"For my part, I'd rather he recalls us at least..." Yahiko conceded, fidgeting uncomfortably with his chopsticks. Kenshin was a pillar in his rebuilt existence. To think of all his wisdom just plainly vanishing... "I say we should have more faith in him. He's been into extreme situations before and still came through. You weren't there, Kaoru, but…" he inhaled painfully "…when Enishi faked your death, Kenshin had completely fallen apart at first".
"I've... I've heard." It was difficult for her to see this subject being discussed or even put on the table. She had vaguely heard about it from her friends, but she still couldn't picture how the swordsman, who had survived both the hell of the Bakumatsu and the murder of his wife, ended up in such a state of mind solely because of her disappearance.
"…Yeah, poor dude just collapsed. He wouldn't react to anyone, didn't swallow a damn thing in God knows how many days, barely even stood up..." Sanosuke was now murdering his rice." Like he'd given up on life and only allowed himself to suffer."
He couldn't even find the strength to attend her funeral... and that said a lot, considering he had buried his first spouse with his own hands.
"I-I can only guess..."
Nevertheless, the emaciation of his entire frame and the shadows under his eyes when he had returned to free her on that beach, as well as the desperate intensity with which he had embraced her despite his still-fresh wounds, had been far more telling for Kaoru than any of their words.
"Yes, but this is different from Rakuninmura. He openly tried to end his life."
"Failing to protect someone is not the same as killing other individuals…"
The culpability of the victim versus that of the assassin...
"...Then what can we do?"
"It is impossible to change one's past. All we can hope for now is that he finds the will to live again…"
The grave voice had come from a place overhead.
"…And I would add that this part is somewhat in your hands."
A massive, cloaked figure suddenly landed in front of four astonished faces.
"What the... ? Where did you come from?" They'd all missed a heartbeat "...have you been listening since the beginning?!"
"Phew! Not my fault if none of you is gifted enough to simply spot an innocent man relaxing on your roof..."
The swordmaster had taken them all by surprise when he abruptly burst into the living room from above as if this was some kind of reasonable occurrence (and he was also anything but an innocent person, but let's have a go at that).
"...And would you please do me the favor of not talking behind my back as if I had any family tie with that dumb redhead?! ...There's no way he could have inherited that much stupidity from my genes"
* Gulps *
"Huh, Hiko-san, would you care to join us for dinner... ?" Kaoru awkwardly tried to deflect the conversation by offering food and shelter. As a last-ditch resort, she held out a tray of remaining tsukemono.
"Well, if that makes you happy..."
As a matter of fact, Seijuro had barely eaten for the last two days, too busy watching over his pupil.
*cough*
I don't like snow...
The light was reflecting unabashedly on the damp, frost surface.
I don't like snow...
Little by little, the landscape in front of him was covered in this fragile white mantle.
...Why?
Himura was sitting alone in his room. The last sighs of autumn were already fading, and the upcoming freeze seeped into his pores. He couldn't recollect ever feeling so cold, except perhaps when he was a child.
*cough*
A dry lump had been lingering in the back of his throat for several days; it had come with the wind of Shiwasu and was constantly taxing his lungs. It would not leave him, just like the pandemonium of confused visions that was embedded in his cortex...
These gentle, sad black eyes... These vibrant, lively blue eyes...
After training with his master, something had shifted in him. The more he was reminded of his life, the more he was overwhelmed by a gnawing bitterness. He would spend long hours sitting on the engawa, staring at the emptiness, trying to piece together those frightening shreds of shattered histories. Ever since the two women whose gazes were so strikingly different had surfaced in his mind, he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that there were deeper, darker memories preventing him from fully awakening… like a barrier he was terrified to break through.
*cough*
While the snowflakes were spiraling down the front of his chamber, the shadow of his former wife was gently resurfacing in the twists and turns of his meninges... Carrying within its wake the hollowness and the infinite sorrow that was dwelling in his soul.
Sun will soon be setting...
The nights had gradually turned into a living ordeal.
Fragments of past experiences, akin to visions of hell, drenched in haemoglobin, contorted corpses, undeservedly shed tears and sometimes even torments he couldn't bring himself to picture consciously, repeatedly assaulted him in horrific flashbacks. Like a tumor slithering across his brain, he could not yet put them together, but the burdens of his tortuous past crept back to him in ghostly and terrifying spasms once darkness dawned. Some of them would mercifully fade away upon awakening, but their mere existence was enough to numb his mind for several hours afterward, sometimes enough to ruin his appetite before he even touched breakfast. Throughout the day, Kenshin strived to keep his composure for the sake of those who cared for him, but the more his memories came back to plague him, the more he felt the need to isolate himself from the world.
...I should at least lie down on the futon to try and regain my composure.
His body was becoming more capable by the day. But on an emotional level, he felt like he was being sucked right into the eye of a cyclone.
While he was lost in his somber thoughts, his gaze lingered for the umpteenth time on that strange sword. An apparently dysfunctional weapon that he had been told belonged to him, and that had been sitting on its stand in the corner of his room ever since he woke up… as if it had once been precious to him.
I have no idea why someone would keep such a tool...
A reversed blade. A blade that did not cut.
It doesn't make any sense.
Like so many things since his awakening, it seemed to have neither head nor tail. No matter how closely he was studying it, he simply couldn't buy it.
This thing is pointless.
He took the sakabato in his hand, assessing its weight.
What use is a weapon that does not kill to a practitioner of the Hiten Mitsurugi…?
...Then it hit him.
No matter what happens, I'll never kill you. Not you. Not ever.
A/N: I agree, this was late… BUT it's an almost 30 pages long chapter and you know now how much I suffer during the translation part so have pity for a humble sesshawriter :') Once again I thank you all dearly for your opinions on this story, I'm positive the next chapter should come soon for it's already well underway!
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Aaaaaand we get a new Ruroken anime remake for July 2023 ohmypoorheart I CANNNNN'T ! 3 3