Chapter 3

Did she just rub up against me on purpose? What does that mean? Am I just seeing what I want to see? She shook her head and turned back to the refrigerator to grab the things she needed and started their usual routine. She really liked this part of their time together, they worked well together when preparing a meal. No awkward bumping into each other, although Jane orchestrated a few bumps just to touch her. She placed the carton of milk beside Maura and turned towards the toaster to do her part. They worked in a comfortable silence until the meal was sitting on the table and they both sat down to eat. "So what movies do you have in mind for today?"

"I thought we could just see what cable has to offer today. We have that on demand channel that has all of the same movies available at the rental store. This way we can fight over it in the privacy of the living room instead of the aisle at the store."

"We don't fight we have discussions." Jane reached for more eggs and served more to Maura without asking then smiled across the table. She slathered margarine on her toast then took a bite.

"You are going to die of clogged arteries if you keep eating like that." She pointed to the amount of margarine on her toast. "That salt is going to kill you too."

"Nope, you'll be happy to know that we Rizzoli's have never had anyone die because of what we eat. Look at what Ma prepares every day, starches, butter not margarine, and heavy on the creams and her Mother before her and not one of my relatives have ever had a heart attack or shown any signs of blood flow issues. So I guess you're stuck with me."

"I'm happy to be stuck with you Jane." She reached across the table and touched Jane's arm. "Why don't you go start looking through what movies are available and I'll clean up from breakfast."

"Oh no you don't. I helped make the mess I'll help clean it up with you."

"Well I won't turn down the help if you insist." Maura scooped up her plate and whatever else she could carry and headed to the kitchen with Jane on her heals. With everything rinsed and placed in the dishwasher and all else put away they headed to the living room to start their movie day.

As they sat down on the couch Jane's phone rang and she frowned when she looked at the caller ID. She didn't want to answer but she did anyway. "Rizzoli."

"Hey want to do something today?"

"I'm kind of busy today so maybe we'll get together some other time ok?" Jane hoped that would be enough to get Jill to hang up.

"How about later."

"Jill, we can't just pick up where we left off, I already told you that." Jane felt Maura stiffen beside her. "My friend and I are just getting ready to watch a movie so I gotta go."

"You're spending your Saturday sitting and watching movies? You have changed. Used to be we would stay out until they kicked us out of the bars then start again as soon as we woke up the next day. So are you with the parking lot friend? Is she more than a friend?"

"Jill I'd rather not talk about it and I thought I made that clear last night." Maura was surprised at the edge to Jane voice. What was she getting angry about?

"Ah she's right there with you isn't she and you can't talk about her can you? Does she know how you feel?"

"Once again you choose to ignore my wishes so I am going to hang up, maybe I will talk to you later Jill."

"Ok Rizzoli I'll back off. If you change your mind and you want to put a little excitement back into your life you know where to reach me. And if your friend doesn't put out you can reach me for that too."

"That's never going to happen Jill so forget it. Talk to you later. Bye." She hung up the phone and turned to Maura. "Sorry about that."

Maura went up on her knees next to Jane on the couch and placed a hand on Jane's shoulder. "You don't have to apologize Jane. Are you ok? You seem angry."

"I forgot how much she knew how to push the right buttons and always did. I'm sorry if I ruined our day together. Maybe I should just go home." She frowned up at Maura.

"Do you want to go home?" Maura hoped she didn't. Jane slowly shook her head. "Well then why don't we try to get back in the spirit of things again. First things first, you need to relax. Does talking to her always tense you up like this?" Maura started kneading her shoulder muscles.

"Ah, that feels nice." Jane's head fell forward to give her better access. "It's been years since I talked to her but when we were together after a time she got under my skin and we would end up fighting a lot."

"That doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship." Maura's thumb found a particularly tight knot and started working on it. "Why don't you lay down on the floor and let me do this right?"

"What about the movie?" Jane asked but still did as Maura suggested and lay down on the floor.

"We've got time for that later right?"

"Yeah we've got all day. Damn Maura that feels good."

Maura had to stifle the moan as she sat on Jane's lower back to give her a massage. The words and the way Jane had said them conjured up a picture of something else she'd rather be doing that would elicit the same reaction and she wanted nothing more than to turn Jane over and attack her.

Jane was having a hard time laying still with Maura sitting on her back. She wasn't referring to the massage when she said it felt good. She was referring to having Maura's body sitting on top of hers. What would happen if she turned over? Would Maura see the want and need in her eyes? She mentally shook herself to rid her mind of those thoughts and tried to enjoy the backrub. She tried to concentrate on what the hands were doing to her, not whose hands they were and what she really wanted them to do. Soon she was able to relax enough to let the massage do what it was supposed to do.

Maura could tell the exact moment when Jane finally relaxed then she was able to concentrate on helping her relax. "Let me know if I hurt you ok?"

"Oh I don't think you could hurt me doing what you are doing. It feels so good. Did you take classes or something to learn how to do this, because you are hitting just the right spots."

"No classes just knowledge of the body and what muscles do what helps me to know where people tense up the most. According to statistics you have one of the highest stress related jobs so it would make sense for you to be tense therefore your core muscles would be tense and knotted. So I am concentrating on those muscles."

"Well you are very good at it. And you can do this anytime you want. You'll get no arguments from me." Once again she tried to forget who was sitting on her back. She finally decided she couldn't take it anymore. "Ok I think it's time for the movies to begin." She started to wiggle out from under her.

Maura could not believe that Jane expected her to stand up with her wiggling her butt like she was, but if she didn't she was going to seriously make a fool out of herself right then and there. She stood on somewhat wobbly legs and fell onto the couch and handed the remote to Jane as she sat down next to her.

They'd watched Ice Age (because Jane loved the sloth) and Date Night to get back into a good mood then Jane got her action movie when they watched The Italian Job. By the time they started the 3rd movie Maura had a glass of wine and Jane was drinking a beer and the pizza carton that sat on the coffee table in front of them was empty. Jane sat on the floor between Maura's legs and Maura was absentmindedly playing with her hair. When the last movie ended Jane couldn't believe they had just watched 6 hours of movies and she wasn't bored to death. Maura seemed just as content as Jane felt. Jane turned around and rested her arms on Maura's legs then rested her chin on her arms. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Laundry. Sounds exciting doesn't it?" Maura looked down into the big brown eyes of the woman she now knew that she loved with all of her heart.

"I suppose I should go home and do my laundry too. I hate doing laundry." She stood up and went to the guest room to gather her things and headed back out to the living room where Maura was still sitting on the couch but was now staring into space. "I really had a good time to day Maura. I always do with you. I guess I'll see you on Monday at work. Wait! I can't go anywhere because I don't have a car."

Maura jumped up. "I forgot about that. Let's go get your car." She grabbed her car keys as she headed out the door. Jane followed behind and they were once again left alone with their thoughts as Maura drove her back to the Bloody Mary. Maura pulled up right next to Jane's car then turned sideways in her seat so she could look at Jane. "I had a good time today too. I was surprised that I could sit through that many movies in one sitting." She looked down at her hands then back up at Jane. "Well, have a good day and I will see you at work tomorrow."

Jane impulsively leaned forward and gave Maura a kiss on the cheek then got out of the car and waved as she unlocked her car and got behind the wheel. "Why the hell did I kiss her?" Jane asked herself then smiled. "Because you wanted to, you actually wanted more and settled for that. Why are you talking to yourself Rizzoli? Because you are talking yourself out of turning this car towards Maura's house and making the biggest mistake of your life. No go home and forget about it. You've been able to ignore this for years and you can continue to ignore your feelings. Go home." She drove to her apartment and was greeted by Jo when she opened her apartment door. "Hey sweet thing, remind me to add a bonus for Mary this month for taking care of you when I'm gone. Want to go for a run? Let me throw on some shorts and we can go." She ran back to her bedroom and threw on the first pair of shorts she came upon then went out and took Jo for a good long run. She felt somewhat back to normal by the time she got back to her apartment. Most thoughts of Maura were back on a friendship level and she had put her X rated thoughts back where they belonged, on the far back burner. "Hey Jo what are you hungry for tonight? Should we order out or go over to Mama Rizzoli's for some good old home cooking?" She looked down at the mutt that she had come to love and made her decision. "Ok Mama Rizzoli's it is. Let's go."

She arrived at her parent's home and as usual was greeted with hugs and kisses and a meal fit for royalty. Angela Rizzoli always cooked as if the whole Boston Red Sox team was going to show up at their door for every meal so there was always enough to go around. "So Janie what's on your mind?"

"What do you mean Ma, can't I just show up for dinner without ulterior motives?" Jane felt her defenses go up.

Angela stood up and walked around to Jane's side of the small table and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. "You know you are welcome here anytime but you usually don't show up on a Saturday night in a quiet thoughtful mood." She stood up and started clearing the table. "Frank why don't you go watch TV or something. Jane come on out to the kitchen and help me."

Jane knew that her mother was going to grill her on what was the matter and she wasn't sure what she was going to tell her.

"So do you want to tell your mother what's bothering you or are you going to make me guess?" Angela stood with her hands on her hips in the 'take no prisoners stance' and waited for an answer.

"It's Maura!" She blurted out without thinking. "Damn did I just say that out loud?"

"Watch your language and yes you did. So what have you done now?" Angela turned to the sink and started washing dishes.

"Ma, Pops is a plumber why hasn't he fixed the dishwasher for you?" Jane picked up the towel to help dry.

"The dishwasher works fine but it would be kind of hard to have a conversation over the noise that thing makes. Besides this way your Father won't hear us. So what have you done?"

"Why do you think I did something? Couldn't it have been something Maura did?" Angela gave her a look that was the Italian equivalent to 'duh'. "Ok don't hate me ok?"

"Oh Janie I could never hate you. Dislike you a bit at times but never hate you. So tell me what is so terrible."

"I think I've fallen in love with her." Jane waited for the shit to hit the fan.

"Is that all? What does she have to say about it?"

"I haven't told her. And what do you mean is that all? This is pretty big for me Ma." Jane sat down on one of the stools at the counter and Angela took the other one.

"I didn't mean it to sound like it was nothing because I know it's a big thing but I wanted you to know that it didn't matter that it was a woman that you fell in love with. And if that woman is Maura I am very happy for you. I like her and I know your Father does too. So what are you going to do about how you feel?"

"What can I do Ma, she's straight and I don't want to do anything to ruin the friendship we already have? If I told her how I felt she'd run the other way."

"Are you sure?"

"Well thanks Ma now you've planted a seed I've been trying to ignore for years."

"You've felt this way for years and you're just now telling me about? What took you so long? Did something happen?"

"No Ma nothing happened, it's just getting so hard to keep from telling her how I feel or even worse showing her how I feel."

"Why don't you get her drunk and take advantage of her?"

"Ma! I can't believe you just said that? What kind of Mother would tell her daughter to get another woman drunk and take advantage of her."

"One who knows from experience that it works."

"Eww Ma too much information. I did not need to know that. Wait a minute, did you get Pops drunk or did he get you drunk? No don't tell me I don't want to know. I gotta go do something to get that image out of my head."

Angela stood up and wrapped her arms around Jane then whispered. "Took your mind off of what's her name didn't I?"

Jane threw her head back and laughed. "Yeah Ma it did. Thanks for listening now I have to go home and find something to do to get rid of the image of you and Pops getting drunk and doing god knows what." She walked into the living room and hugged her Father. "G'night Pops."

"Night Janie."

Jane drove home thinking about what her mother had said. Not the getting her drunk part but the part about telling her how she felt. Maybe if she slept on it things would look better in the morning. "How about it Jo, should I get her drunk and take advantage of her and pretend not to remember it in the morning? Naw I can't do that to her and still live with myself. Maybe I'll get drunk and see if she would take advantage of me. Too bad you can't give me any advice because I sure could use some right about now and I can't go to the person I usually go to because that would kind of defeat the purpose. Great, first I was talking to myself as if I would answer and now I'm talking to a dog. Maura Isles if you only knew what you have reduced me too.