Traveling With a Lonely Immortal
WARNING: This was not beta read; I only proofread this! (Sorry for errors you may find)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail, Hiro Mashima does.
The sun had barely risen when a visitor came knocking on their bedroom door.
Startled but not entirely alarmed, Lucy pushed herself into a sitting position and cast a confused glance toward the door. The space next to her was vacant, implying urgency as something must have come up for Zeref to leave her so early. Nevertheless, she understood, and it took only a moment for her to gather herself before she finally left the comfort of the sheets.
She quickly shrugged a robe over her scantily dressed appearance, finally deciding to open the door. And standing before her, clad in her warrior's clothes—witch hat nowhere to be seen—and heavy circles underneath her eyes, was a visitor she least expected to see.
Lucy blinked in surprise. "Irene…?"
The said woman offered her a grim smile in return. "May I come in?" she asked quietly, for once not sounding like the high and mighty woman that everyone knew her to be. "I wish to speak to you about something."
Question after question clouded Lucy's mind. She wondered what was so important that made the dragon slayer come to her in the wee hours of the morning. It was not uncommon knowledge that Irene hated her, though perhaps hate was too strong of a word to call what the woman felt for her. Maybe Lucy misunderstood their interactions for something else entirely.
The remains of sleep in her system were making her dizzy from what was happening, so she simply nodded and stepped aside, letting the redhead into the room, and shut the door after her.
Lucy walked back to her bed and sat on the edge. She ignored the urge to rub her eyes and yawn, knowing that it would only aggravate the redhead, and she was not ready to deal with an angry Irene this early in the morning.
And yet, looking at the way she stood, Lucy could tell that this was not the Irene that she was familiar with. Irene held herself the way Lucy did so many years ago: meek and uncertain of the world. She hugged herself, eyes cast downwards and her back slouched ever so slightly forward. Tension and unease were rolling off her shoulders in waves, the discomfort so thick that Lucy wanted to inch away from her. But she could tell that none of it was aimed at her, and that was enough for Lucy to feel less inclined to run.
Seeing Irene like this would have usually set off warning bells in Lucy's head. Instead, she was concerned for her, and she wondered what it was that made the Queen of Dragons this small.
"Irene," Lucy said softly, "do you want to sit down?"
Irene bristled, seemingly snapping out of it – though not completely – and the harsh glint in her eyes returned a little. She pressed her lips tightly together. "This is fine," she replied.
Lucy nodded in understanding. "Okay."
They were once again basked in silence.
Irene's forehead creased as she seemed to struggle with something. Her mouth trembled as if she didn't know how to confide in Lucy – if that was her goal at all – and her shoulders once again slacked in dismay. Having given up, she finally lifted her eyes from the floor and met Lucy's gaze evenly.
A smile so bitter usually would have looked fine on Irene's face, but not this time.
"Do you love your unborn child?"
She couldn't help but be taken aback from the question. Worry churned in Lucy's gut. "I do," she answered carefully, not breaking Irene's stare. "I would not be alive right now if I didn't."
Something seemed to die in Irene's eyes, evident by the way her smile faltered and dropped into nothing. "I see," she whispered, sounding forlorn.
Lucy wanted to reach over and embrace the woman. Irene had never looked as lost as she did now, and Lucy had her suspicions on why. Still, she waited patiently for Irene, the sleep long gone from her eyes. A few minutes passed, those few minutes seeming like an eternity with how quiet it was.
Finally, Irene let out a heavy breath and admitted, "I don't know if I ever loved my daughter."
Lucy didn't say anything in return. She knew what the dragon slayer needed was a person who would listen and that was what she intended to do. So, like a child listening to her mother's stories, she crossed her legs beneath her and listened.
"I was young when I was pregnant with her," Irene continued, her smile turning nostalgic. "And an even younger queen who was tasked with solidifying relations between dragons and humans. I married for the sake of politics, was appointed as queen because of how powerful my magic was, and I went beyond humanly possible lengths to make my dreams a reality. Many envied my status and wished to be me. I often wondered why that was so.
"When the dispute between dragons and humans escalated, I fought hard to maintain the peace. It is why I became a dragon slayer in the first place, because Belserion wanted the same thing as I did: for humans and dragons to live in harmony." Irene sniffed midway in a bout of irritation—though it was clearly fake. "The war ended, and I supposed that would be it. I succeeded. And yet, like Acnologia, I was cursed for being a dragon slayer and scales began to form across my skin."
Hate rippled across Irene's face. It was so vivid and so dark that Lucy could feel it inside her very own veins as if she, too, was furious. "Three years," Irene hissed, spitting out the words in venom, "For three years, they tortured me. Me and my baby. I kept telling him I was carrying his child and he did not care. Perhaps I did though, for I tried to prolong her birth for as long as I could. I kept her quiet with my magic and made sure she was unharmed from everything they did to me."
That should have answered her own question. If Irene hadn't loved her child, then she wouldn't have kept her safe after all that had happened. But the story was yet to finish and the fear in the pit of Lucy's stomach grew with anticipation for the truth.
"I turned into a dragon, you know," Irene said in amusement. "I should tell you that it was not a pleasant experience. So many people wish to be more than what they are, to be 'higher beings' like the dragons were, but…" she trailed off, turning her gaze to the far wall. "…all I wanted at that moment was to be human."
The silence that followed was sullen and full of longing—so much so that Lucy could feel it suffocating her.
She decided to speak then. "That's when Zeref found you and turned you back to human… right?" Then she yelped, realizing that she had never called Zeref by his name in front of the Spriggan 12.
"Do not worry girl, I know." Irene looked irritated at being interrupted but she nodded, nonetheless. "It is the reason why I am loyal to him. However, he failed to tell you that I was not entirely human. I was a human in a dragon's body then, and afterwards, I turned into a dragon stuck in a human's body.
"And let me tell you," she paused and gathered herself. "I was human, and I was not. I could not taste anything. Could not feel much. I was… a shell. And I hated it. I hated my own skin, but I also did not want to turn back into a dragon. If you were in my shoes, Lucy, what would you have done?"
"I…" Lucy faltered. What would she have done? She honestly did not know. She wanted to think that she would do something justifiable. But if she had gone through what Irene had experienced, she couldn't promise sanity. In the end, she said, "I might have done something terrible."
Rather than a sneer – which Lucy had been expecting – Irene had a somewhat relieved look on her face. "Right. Because that is exactly what I wanted to do then."
Lucy paled. "What did you do?"
And she listened as the red-haired warrior, known by many names – Mother of Dragons, first ever Dragon Slayer – bowed her head as she whispered her darkest secrets and regrets, her voice lost in the chill of the wind through the curtained windows.
娘
After listening to the red-haired warrior, Lucy had stayed inside her sleeping quarters. The story of Erza Scarlet and her mother had shaken her to the core. So much so, that she had lost her appetite for lunch and afternoon tea with Brandish.
Nevertheless, that conversation had given her plenty of insight as to why Irene was who she was today. She could not honestly say if her actions were justified, but she had never turned into a dragon, so who was she to judge?
She was halfway into a novel when an explosion rattled the castle.
Startled, she slammed the book shut and immediately got onto her feet. The magic within her veins thrummed in warning, as if preparing itself for a battle waiting to happen.
The first thought that came to mind was that she had not seen Zeref all day. Her hand reached out to the mark on the back of her neck out of habit, before realizing that she had lost it the moment she had been awakened from the curse. Lips pressed tightly together, she dropped her hand to her side and balled it tightly into a fist.
The floor beneath her feet rumbled as another blast was heard in the distance and she finally took off.
Lucy ran through the hallways of the castle. Though she was aware of her lack of expertise in its layout, she knew the general plan of the important locations. And right now, her goal was to find Zeref and there were only a handful of places of where he could be at.
When she finally left the north wing, she was thrust into a room full of panicked servants and warriors frantically rushing about. Breathless, she looked around for a familiar face. Finding none, she went to approach a maid that seemed the less preoccupied of them all.
"What happened?"
With a startled shriek, the maid turned towards Lucy and immediately dropped into a curtsy. "L-Lady Lucy! Oh, the castle is under attack!"
Lucy's eyes widened for a quick second before they settled into a determined glare. "By who?"
"W-We don't know yet, milady, but there are rumors it might be those mages from Ishgar. F-Fairy something?"
Lucy grimaced. "Fairy Tail."
"T-That's right!"
"Alright, thank you," she told the maid and smiled. "Please find a good place to stay safe for now while we handle the situation."
The maid yelped as Lucy took off, rambling, "B-But the Emperor said—"
Whatever she was meaning to say was lost on deaf ears as Lucy disappeared around a corridor.
娘
Light and darkness clashed as eyes stared each other down.
The room was brimming with unrestrained magic seeping through the two mages, turning the air almost electric as the force of it caused even light to sizzle. Yet none refused to back down, even as the ground beneath them began to crack from the intensity of it all.
Zeref decided to be the first to speak. "So, dear Mavis," he drawled, tilting his head back ever so slightly, eyes never failing to stray away from hers. "Why, pray tell, are you in my territory? I'm sure you're aware that I have nearly all of Ishgar under my rule and can easily wreak havoc upon your little town. If you wanted an audience with me, you could have gone through the front gates and asked. No need for the destruction."
Mavis responded with a small lift at the corner of her lips. "You are mistaken," she countered, folding her arms over her chest. "We are not here for you, Zeref."
"Oh?" he questioned lightly; his tone curious but full of mischief. "And who might you be here for?"
"Lucy Heartfilia..."
The amusement was wiped off his face.
"Do you know her?"
In the next instant, Mavis was pressed against the wall with Zeref's forearm against her throat. She didn't blink at the action, instead glaring harder into the cold gaze that seethed at her.
"Don't joke with me," he hissed, the miasma curling around his limbs like tendrils of darkness. "You know who she is and what she is to me."
Mavis smiled harshly. "Ah, is this the woman you claimed you would die for?"
He pushed her further against the wall, baring his teeth at her. "If you as so much touch a hair on her head—"
"This is a mission given to Fairy Tail." She curled her fingers into fists, nails digging into her palms as she glowered back at him. She wasn't in the position to be taunting him yet the spiteful side of her couldn't stop herself from doing so. "The last mission we are going to take before offering a truce, per Natsu's request."
Zeref laughed at her in disbelief. "You think I care?" he mused, shaking his head. The mirth in his eyes was quickly replaced with fury—an anger so deep Mavis was sure it would burn her alive. "Tell your goddamn client that they better put their money elsewhere and I'll let them walk away while I'm feeling generous."
It was Mavis' turn to shake her head at how ridiculous this was. How absurd it all was. "You don't get it, Zeref," she told him with a sigh.
"You're not our client, and the only reason why I'm telling you this…" she trailed off, bracing herself against the wall as his magic slammed into her, a mad laugh escaping her if only to make him angrier.
"…is because you asked."
娘
The tremor that ran through the ground was reminiscent of that of a dragon wrecking through an old palace, one that she often saw in her deep slumbers, and one that tasted vile on the back of her tasteless tongue.
She took her staff along with her hat and exited her sleeping quarters only to enter a hall full of frenzied servants. A frown graced her features as she surveyed the situation with stern eyes.
The next surge of magic that blasted through the air felt familiar, and she didn't need to think twice about whose it was or what was happening. She took off the moment she felt the blast and began her search for the next person she knew she should be protecting—albeit reluctantly. A small part of her still refused to acknowledge her as an ally, much more as a woman worth giving attention to. But after their conversation earlier this morning, she found that she did not mind her company that much and realized that she would like a repeat of it.
Long scarlet braids bounced with every step her feet took. Her pace was fast enough to reach the central wing within a few minutes, her magic pulsing through the ground in hopes of finding the girl.
After a moment, she felt that recognizable warmth course through her, bright and burning, and headed straight to the source.
She found the girl leaning against the wall, feeling for something, and looking terribly lost. With a roll of her eyes, she approached her and grabbed her by the elbow.
Chocolate eyes widened in surprise. "Irene!" she exclaimed, looking relieved at the sight of the warrior. "I'm glad you're here. I'm—well, I was looking for Zeref but I—"
Irene pursed her lips. "You're lost." It was a statement that did not need further explanation nor answer, but Lucy did exactly that.
"It's such a big castle," the blonde replied sheepishly, smiling at her. "But you found me—thank you."
The redhead wrinkled her nose in distaste to which Lucy laughed at. "I figured you would be," Irene simply explained, dragging her towards a different direction. "Let us go, there are hidden passages that were built into the castle lest an attack would happen. His Majesty would have my head if he found out I left you alone to fend for yourself."
Lucy looked – and sounded – offended. "I can handle myself now, you know."
Irene chose not to respond. Instead, she glanced at the blonde from the corner of her eye before walking towards the direction of one of the hidden doors. Behind her, she could hear Lucy beginning to follow, her shoes nearly silent against the marble floors that if it were not for her sensitive hearing, she would have not heard it.
She was impressed, but she would never tell anyone that.
A hand gently caressed the smooth wall, fingers searching for the latch that would unveil the hidden entrance. Upon finding it, Irene pressed her palm flat, released a pulse of her magic, and stepped back. The wall slowly gave way to a passageway that was dimly lit by blue lacrima crystals.
Looking over her shoulder, she gestured for Lucy to follow her and walked inside.
As the walls closed behind them, Irene narrowed her eyes and tried to sense for any potential signs of danger. When she found none, she continued, the honey-eyed Empress following close behind her.
When the palace had first been built, it was she who discovered the tunnels, for they were not written on any of the blueprints handed down to her Emperor. It had not been used in the few hundred years that they occupied the palace. There had never been a need to. No one dared challenge the Spriggan 12, and Spriggan's rule was absolute enough that rebellions hardly formed. Whispers, yes—but never anything concrete. Those who opposed his rule were smart enough to remain quiet.
Fairy Tail had always been known to be reckless. Always been known to make groundbreaking statements, to set milestones etched into history. Perhaps that was enough reason for Irene to not question the idiocy—or the courage it took to stand against an empire.
Their footsteps echoed in the silence of the halls. It was an unnerving sound as much as it was comforting and shouldn't have bothered the dragon slayer so. Yet a few more minutes of this madness and Irene was already grinding her teeth in impatience. The warrior within her wanted to be outside fighting—plucking out the wings of fairies who did not know their place. But she knew where she was needed at the moment and it was not with the others.
What had her the most irritated was the fact that this was not even supposed to be her job; it was Brandish's. The woman, however, was not in the castle because she and Dimaria were surveying the southern coast. Irene supposed it was better that way. After all, she'd rather be in the castle, babysitting the Empress than watching over some shore.
The mere thought of it made her shudder.
"Is it true?"
Irene didn't even jump at the sudden question, even as Lucy's voice sounded hauntingly beautiful in these halls and echoed like a siren's song.
"What is?" the redheaded dragon slayer replied.
"That Fairy Tail is the one behind the commotion."
Irene found it amusing that Lucy had referred to it as a 'commotion' and not 'an attack'. Lips painted red like crimson curled upwards into a serpentine smile. "I presume it is," she answered.
"Aa."
There was an uneasy pause.
"Do you want to find his Majesty?" Irene piped in curiously, eyes glinting with mischief as she glanced over to look at Lucy's surprised face. "We were ordered to bring you to the underground shelter, but what fun would that be?"
Lucy cocked her head to the side with a troubled smile. "I would appreciate it if the Spriggan 12 would stop treating me like a child."
"Then we will exit out of the nearest door we find and look for his Majesty." Irene turned back to face the path ahead of her. "I hope you're ready for the worst-case scenario."
She heard Lucy laugh softly. "Fighting is not an issue."
Irene smirked. Maybe she had underestimated this girl.
娘
Zeref supposed that in his four hundred years of existence, he had never truly felt emotions the way they were meant to. There was something numbing about losing his entire family in one day, and then causing hundreds of lives to vanish in the next, ultimately resulting in a shutdown of his mentality. It had been a switch that flipped his emotions off—a coping mechanism his brain had come up with to keep the remains of his sanity intact.
For the longest time, he had kept his emotions under wraps. Rarely did he ever willingly let himself go. The instances of his wrath unleashing had always been the consequences of his curse, which was the only part of him that he could not control. Hence, he'd always considered himself to be well-tempered if not for his magic's unpredictability.
Four hundred years of control was a record he was never intending to break, but he didn't mind it if he had to.
"Who is it?" he seethed into Mavis' ear.
Anger like no other scorched like wildfire in his veins. Fury fueled his magic, obsidian wisps dancing across his skin like a flame preparing to burn brighter. It was an ugly feeling, Zeref thought absentmindedly, as it left no other room for coherent thoughts. It swallowed everything in its path, leaving his mind empty and red, like it wanted to consume his entire being.
Looking down at his ex-lover, Zeref expected the same treatment. If anything, he had expected it to surpass his.
Instead, fear was heavy on her small porcelain face. Her once bright emerald eyes were shadowed by horror—so deep it had turned glassy, as water began to pool at the corners, and her breathing quickened with the want to escape from his wrath.
Half-lidded eyes took note of this with a newfound sense of realization.
Mavis feared him.
That in itself should have brought him back to his senses. Yet the raging part of his mind refused to let go, the evil within him reveling in the terror he was causing.
Zeref was getting impatient. "I'll ask you again," he said slowly, surely, his words spewing venom, "who's the client?"
Her answer was so quiet he would not have heard it, her voice lost in the hammering of her heart and the echoes of his magic. But he did, and what she said made his blood run cold as he swiftly drew back away from her. The black mage stared at his ex-lover with wide eyes.
Mavis simply gave a grim smile in return.
娘
Had it been any other person, Lucy would have simply put them under a dreamless sleep.
"Are you… Lucy Heartfilia?"
Surprisingly, Irene moved to keep the Empress half-hidden behind her in a protective manner, an action Lucy found odd but flattering. "And you are?" the redhead inquired with a sly smile, eyes crinkling at the sides as crimson lips glinted under the light.
"Erza Scarlet," the redhead replied.
If it had been any other person—Lucy would not have cared.
"And you are?"
She felt Irene tense up in front of her. At that moment, Lucy knew that the warrior had realized who was in front of them. What it meant. Who Irene was to this woman.
Irene's response was cold and void of emotion. "Irene Belserion, dear fairy."
Lucy wondered, then, if these were the gods' work at fixing their faults, or if it was another play of fate messing with them.
娘
He rarely visited his own territory. He had always used laziness as an excuse, though he had always been known to be stern and strict with routine. He figured routine could not be broken if there was no such routine put in the first place. Since then, he had never peeped too long into the matters of this world and only paid attention to the matters that needed his interference.
This was unlike anything he had ever done before. A small inkling told him it would be wise to watch the events unfold. He had, after all, bestowed upon a portion of his power to another human—a human whose company he had enjoyed to some extent.
Since that day, he had been mulling over the decision in his mind, if he had done the right thing or if he had further driven Earthland into chaos by doing so.
As he stood hovering over the trembling castle, he allowed a smirk onto his usually stoic face.
Admittedly, he had done a terrible job at managing his territory. For what reason? He would never tell anyone why. That didn't mean he had no right to play with these people, as it always quelled his boredom.
Like now—
"What do you mean…?"
The god chuckled as he shook his head and began to turn away.
"You are no mother of mine!"
He had seen enough.
娘
Zeref stared at Mavis with unconcealed shock written all over his face. The thought of turning away occurred to him several times, recalling that he had left Lucy alone in their bedroom, and the need to be with her arose with a ferocity he had difficulty in taming. Yet he had to remind himself that he was faced with his ex-lover, one who could easily read his mind.
It took a while, but he eventually managed to reign in his emotions.
"Have you calmed down now?" Mavis asked with a shaky voice. Her hands came up to rub her arms—to rub away the fear that lingered on her skin. "You were always one to jump to conclusions."
Zeref didn't bother to glare at her. Exhaustion suddenly began to creep in, the remnants of his fury fading away to a dull lull in the back of his mind. All that burning had turned his energy to ashes, and all he wanted was to simply call it a day and lay wrapped around the warm magic of his beloved.
"Where are they?" he asked, regarding her with a detached sort of gaze.
Mavis' eyes narrowed in alarm. "That's not for you to know."
Zeref clenched his jaw as every fiber in his being screamed at him to respond with ebony wisps. "It is if it concerns the mother of my child."
The silence that followed could nearly cause the strongest of mages to cover their ears.
Eyes wide, Mavis felt her resolve slipping.
"…Did I hear right?" she whispered, more to herself than to Zeref, "did you just call Heartfilia your…"
Her sentence was cut off as Zeref whirled around, the sudden lashing of his magic causing her limbs to freeze in place. In a blink, he was upon her once again, their breaths mingling in a mockery of intimacy.
He snarled, "I will deal with you another time."
And in the next second, he was gone, leaving the strategist to fall to her knees.
娘
The room was pulsing with the tension, the air so thick that even Lucy, with her newfound immortal body, found it difficult to breathe. She wanted to do something, she realized, but what—she did not know.
But anything was a better alternative than this.
"You will never be my mother."
The finality in the words was undoing. If Lucy had been at the receiving of it—if her own child paled at the idea of their relation, at the blood they shared flowing beneath their veins… she did not know if she would survive the pain.
But Irene was a warrior through and through. The rejection did nothing to change the flat look in her eyes. The stare so biting that it made the tightness in the air razor-sharp. Her mouth maintained that saccharine smile, as if she was coaxing a feral animal into submission, her eyes never leaving those of her daughter's.
Of Erza Scarlet's, who looked as if she would vomit.
"I have no mother," Erza repeated.
To Lucy, it sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than anything else.
"And I certainly am not your daughter."
Irene's face remained the same, as if she had turned to stone right then and there. As if her stare itself was enough to tear apart her own child into believing the truth laid before her. As if she wanted Erza to look and look until the memory of Irene burned into her mind—of that long luscious scarlet hair, the shade too identical to be passed off as a coincidence. As if she, herself, wanted to memorize every detail of her daughter's face so she may not forget for eternity.
It was a blue-haired girl who spoke then. "You are a dragon slayer." It was not a question. "I can sense it."
Irene finally ripped her stare away from Erza, that smile of hers widening just a tad bit wider. "Indeed, I am," she cooed, "and more."
"…More?"
"I am the Queen of Dragons," Irene said sweetly, carefully hiding the hatred beneath those words. "The first ever human to learn dragon slaying magic."
The girl swallowed thickly. "How is Erza-san your… child?"
Said woman whipped her head to look at the younger girl with shock on her face. She looked like she wanted to murder someone—anyone but the blue-haired girl. Lucy glanced at her hands and saw them curled into fists, trembling with barely contained rage.
A small smile crept onto Lucy's lips at the trust that she saw there.
"What is your name?" Irene asked with a slight tilt to her head.
The girl looked afraid at last. "W-Wendy. Wendy Marvel."
"Well then, Wendy darling," the queen of dragons began, "Hundreds of years ago, I was married for politics. I had been a naïve woman back then. I wished for humans and dragons to live together in peace, and thus, my dragon, Belserion, decided to teach me dragon slaying magic for the war. And during that war, I became pregnant with a child."
The room was quiet—so quiet.
"Alas, every dragon slayer meets their end, do they not?" Irene mused with a lazy smile.
Wendy paled. "Y-You… turned into a dragon."
Erza said nothing when Irene did not reply. As the older woman kept smiling.
Lucy wondered what Erza Scarlet thought then, if her heart had begun to open itself to the mother before her. She wanted to ask if it had been too late for the both of them, after all. Wondered what that burning stare meant, as it had not wavered in the silence that followed.
Finally, Irene continued, "Not yet, dear fairy." Her smile vanished and replaced with hatred so pure it seemed to simmer off her in waves. "They were only just… scales. Though perhaps humanity had ways of overcomplicating things. No longer was I the queen who offered her everything for the war—who had fought for them through blood and dragons."
She paused, the room darkening.
"All they saw was a monster."
Someone swallowed audibly through the thick silence.
Irene sighed, though the hard glint in her eyes remained. "Oh, a monster I was, they said. My own husband threw me in prison—called me a liar when I told him I was with his child. And for three years, they decided that torturing me was a good call."
"Then… that child was not Erza-san," Wendy murmured.
Irene did not look at her. The corner of her mouth twitched ever so slightly, a telltale sign that she was irked. "As I said," she bit through gritted teeth, "I was naïve—naïve but strong. I willed my body to keep the child from growing, kept her inside of me until I knew it was safe for her to come out into the world. I tried to convince the bastard that his child was within me, but I had been saying the same thing for three years, and he wanted to split me open to cut the baby out."
Lucy's skin turned pale at the revelation. Irene had not mentioned that part when they had talked earlier today.
"It triggered my transformation to completion. It was perhaps animalistic instinct to protect the unborn child, and I killed them all. I flew far, far away. Once, a dragon trapped within a human," Irene drawled, her words seething, "Then, a human trapped within a dragon."
"And then what."
Lucy started, turning to the direction of the voice.
It was Erza Scarlet who had asked—demanded, was more like it.
Irene's infamous serpentine smile wavered at last. Nothing more than a small tremble of her lower lip, but Lucy saw it. Knew that it took more courage than the redhead usually needed to convey the words that followed.
"To put it simply, His Majesty found me in the forests and sensed that there was a human trapped within the dragon in front of him. Because of his kindness, he returned me to my body."
Erza's stare burned like that of a fire dragon's flame. Waiting. Merciless.
"Once again, a dragon trapped within a human's body." The words were spat, though the smile remained.
Lucy realized then that the queen of dragons wore her smile like armor.
"I could not taste anything anymore. Feeling was another matter entirely. It seemed as if I would be much better off being a dragon, because returning to my body had turned into a curse." Irene inclined her head to the side, not faltering from the searing stare her own daughter threw back at her. "As for the child inside me…"
This was the part where Lucy could feel the relief begin to settle in. At the truth that would evidently show Erza Scarlet that her mother had, indeed, loved her. No matter how insignificant that seemed at the moment.
"I had this idea, that if I could enchant myself onto my unborn child and gave birth, then I could be given a new body."
She did not dare to look at the dragon slayer.
"I tried and tried, but alas, I would always fail. So, I gave up," Irene said coolly, not bothering to back down from the stare that slowly burned into oblivion. "I left the child in the back alleys of Rosemary Village since I no longer had any use for it."
Lucy froze, though she did not let anyone notice. Not as the story swerved off its path—off the truth that Lucy had listened to in the wee hours of the morning.
Irene's next words were final, as it severed that thinning tie between mother and daughter at last.
"And here you are," she mused, smiling even wider. "Alive and well. As expected of someone bearing my blood."
Erza Scarlet's unrelenting gaze burned and burned. Until there was nothing left of Irene but that unmoving smile, and a slowly shattering heart.
娘
Lucy paled. "What did you do?"
Irene smiled bitterly. Lucy found it to be out of place. Despite the many smiles that Irene liked to wear on her face, this was one that appeared genuine but forced, as if reliving the memory was too much for the queen of dragons.
"I was desperate to be human again," the redhead whispered, her voice nearly drowned out by a flitting breeze. "I thought that if I could enchant myself onto my child, I could give birth to her and find myself a functioning human body—one that could feel, one that could taste."
Dread pooled in the pit of Lucy's stomach, her throat as dry as the desert. But she reigned in her words, at the urge to argue for an unborn child's innocence. Because there was more to this story than its surface level, and Lucy knew better than to interrupt a remorseful mother.
"I…" Irene faltered, face twisting into pure anguish.
Lucy's breath was knocked out of her at the emotion so brazenly displayed in the open. In front of her. Someone whom she'd decided hated her.
"I couldn't do it."
The words were a harsh whisper, as if the secret had been buried so far within her that unearthing it had taken all her willpower. That in the process of doing so, she had reopened a wound from the past and was bleeding all over her floor.
But there was no blood. Nor were there any tears. And Lucy could tell how much it all hurt Irene, despite her icy exterior.
Irene drew in a shuddering breath. "I held that child in my arms and the moment I looked into her eyes, I knew—I couldn't do it." She shut her eyes. "But I was in an unknown body, and I didn't trust myself enough to feel the same way in the following days, weeks, or however long I would live. So, to protect her, I left her in a village and pretended I never had her. Forced myself to forget. Because I did not—would not—trust myself to be around her."
The silence that came after was a deafening roar.
There is only one kanji in this part
娘 - daughter
a/n: okay... listen—i DID say I was going to update with 10k words over at the discord channel, and I honestly tried. But like last chapter, this ended just the way it needed to. Another reason is that if I'm going to be honest, college is hard, architecture sucks up most of my time and the energy I have is mostly drained whenever I have free time. I honestly try to come back whenever I can, and I admit that sometimes it gets depressing when I can no longer write as much as I used to. I also feel incredibly sad that I let my readers down, and that I haven't come back like I always promised I did.
I won't make any promises this time. I still think the writer in me is still waiting, but until I've graduated I'm not sure when I'll have the time or motivation to write more. I still actually write bits and pieces of my other stories, so maybe in the future, I'll be able to update them. But I don't know when that will be, and until then, I will just be one of those authors you curse at for taking years to update *sobs*
I've decided that since I cannot update or write as much, the discord server I made will be a book club where we can talk about books and other stories!
I sincerely apologize for always disappearing. I still think of you, and this fandom, and all of my stories.
(i can talk about this more in the server, so just drop by and ask me about it)
(re-post: I think FFN bugged for me because the email notif didn't send so I decided to reupload to be sure)
"There is a terrible emptiness in me, an indifference that hurts."—The First Man, Albert Camus
Byee! -Anne :D
- Please support/read my other stories: Celebrity Issues, Nyctophilia, The Devil and the Assassin, Fragile, Life's Challenges, Forgotten Memories, Queen of Stars, A Love That Lasts Forever and Going Against The Current.