I am so sorry for the kind of long wait….a lot of school stuff going on. But here is the next chapter, please review it will help me to update faster, and steer the story in the right direction. Enjoy.

It had been a few days since my long talk with Spencer. Honestly I was just finding everything really hard to believe, and I needed some time to think. Don't get me wrong I'm glad. I'm so glad that Spencer is giving me another chance that I know I don't deserve. I'm worried though. I'm so worried that I won't be able to let her in. That I won't be able to love her the way that she deserves, and the way that I want to. So I needed some time to think and luckily I have gotten that time. Our school is on break…finally. Spencer went to visit her grandmother. I know we will be talking more and stuff when she comes back but right now it's good for both of us to have some space and really think things over.

I decided to go for a walk. A nice peaceful walk. Anything to get me out of the house. Lately my mom will not leave me alone. My mom has been acting really weird lately. I wonder what is wrong with her. She does not know that I'm gay. So she basically thinks I'm socially retarded and can't get a date with a guy. Every time I see her dating is all she talks about, and she never stops talking. Seriously, I have like 15 versions of Dating for Dummies in my room. I'm not really sure if I should be offended. Anyways she also got me the books in like 5 different languages. I think there is Italian, Spanish, French….Maybe she thinks one of the languages will get through to me. Who knows? Anyways I just need some peace and quiet, so here I am walking. Oh look a cute little puppy with its mama.

"Awww you got a cute little puppy and bitch there" What? I like to use the scientific term for a mother dog.

"Excuse me did you just call my dog a bitch, cause the only bitch I see here is you." What a fucking douche. I think I will now politely explain my actions.

Wow he must be mad. I can see a vein popping out of his forehead. Gross "Uhh no actually that's what they call mother dogs…."

Ha-ha the puppy is getting its leash all tangled up in the douche's legs. "Oh you think you so smart don't you. What exactly is your name?" What the hell. Is this dude some kind of stalker?

I look him up and down searching for stalkerish devices….nope none "why do you need to know?"

"Hmm I just wanted to know what they call bitchy, slutty, dykes these days". Nice, very freaking nice. Why does the world have to be so closed minded sometimes. And how did he know I was into the ladies. One of his girlfriends probably dumped him, cause they were falling for me. I wouldn't blame them, this dude could turn any girl gay.

"Yeah, you know what you're right I shouldn't have called your dog a bitch, I should have saved that title for you….douche." I love the word douche. It's kinda like touché but with a D.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Wow how original…..dumbass.

"Someone who is most definitely not going to waste their time talkin to a god damn cow like you." And now I start to walk in the other direction….yep need to get away. I was looking for quiet not a bitch slapping fight. I almost want to save the poor little dogs from him.

"Yeah leave you dirty dyke" Dirty, Dyke….sounds cool. I like it. Dirty Dyke, Dirty, Dyke, Dirty Dyke. I think that's called alliteration.

"MOOOOOO!" Ha-ha-ha-ha.

I have been walking for a while. And honestly I have no idea where the heck I am going. But it has helped me to clear my mind a bit though. I've been able to think a lot of things through. I think it is time to open myself up to Spencer completely. At least try to take down the walls. Hey look a building! Oh my God. It's a church; I can't even remember the last time I went in a church. I shouldn't want to be in here, I shouldn't at all but there is just something strange. Some kind of strange force that's drawing me in and of course whenever there is a strange force you must follow it, so I open the doors to the church.

It's pretty empty. There is just one dude up there, and of course he gives me a weird look. Jerk. I take a seat in one of the long booth things. What are they called? It's pretty in here actually. It makes me think. I'm so scared to tell my mom about being gay. I'm afraid that she will react like so many others. Being gay is a sin…right? It's considered weird. It's not right. I think the bible might say something about it being morally wrong, but I just heard that on Degrassi, stupid Darcy. So many people might hate me for it. I'm terrified actually. Dyke, that's what people will see me as. Is it worth it? Of course it's worth it, it must be. Love, that true, special, once in a lifetime love is worth everything in the world and more. I feel like I have to do something though, anything to at least try and make everything right, make myself feel better.

I walk up to one of those confessional things. And I open the door and take a seat. That weird slit thing opens.

"I've never done this before... and I'm not really sure what to do." Hmm I'm actually sort of nervous.

"It is OK my child. Clear your mind and your conscious. Why do you need to be forgiven?" He has a deep voice. It's kind of scary.

So I used my knowledge from many movies and what emotions where coursing through my body to craft my next sentence. " Forgive me father for I have loved".